A/N: Let's start by disclaiming this bad boy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Trauma Center, the names, places, or characters, they belong to their copyright owner Atlus. This is for entertainment purposes only! Yeah!

A/N: Ahem, anyway, this is a humorous story (there is no predicted length yet) that will have certain OC's here and there, so be aware of that. Not much more to say quite yet, but this was inspired again by other fics, my crazy mind, and as a partner to my Stigma Rodeo! So... This should be quite interesting if I do say so myself. If ya'll want to do some Trauma Center westerns, you go right ahead. It's not like I made it up, I just thought of it. And I apologize TCGeek... No ass-less chaps for Derek. He shall make an appearance though. OKAY! Let's get this rollin'.

"I swear, I am psychic, Val!" yelled Markus.

"Psychotic, maybe. You have dreams about Stigma all the time, it's not like it was a sign or something," Valerie replied, sighing. "So we just so happened to be assigned a job in the countryside, big deal."

"It's not just a coincidence, Val; I seriously think they're linked. I just have a dream about the west, and now we're being sent there? Weird if you ask me," Markus interjected.

"Either way, it'll be nice to get out of the musty building," Elena chimed in.

And so began the most awkward mission they would ever be sent on. Markus Vaughn, Valerie Blaylock, and Elena Salazar were about to be flipped upside down from their bustling city life to a life full of chaos as they adjust to living in the Wild West!

OooooooO

The three got off their plane, immediately adapting to the new climate. It was very... peaceful. It was a strange and glorious new environment that was thriving with life. It was spring, warm and calm.

"We have to stay here for a few weeks just to investigate why they're coming down with intense fevers? That seems a little extreme," whined Markus.

"Extreme, perhaps, but it's our job whether it's reasonable or not," Valerie said.

The plane that contained the other members of this investigation landed shortly after, letting off Sidney Kasal, Derek Stiles, Victor Niguel, Cybil Myers, and Tyler Chase. The one who had formed the team had gathered up the best medical personnel around for the job. It seemed simple now, but it could prove to be worse than they expected. They had to be prepared with a team ready for anything.

"Nice to see you all again!" Derek yelled, waving to the three. They all waved back; greeting the doctor they'd met not too long ago.

"It's a pleasure to see you again, too. Where's Angie?" Elena asked, soon realizing that she wasn't present.

"Oh, it's a long story..." Derek replied with a long sigh.

"Well, why not?" he asked her.

"Because I don't like cowboys, they're pigs and they can't talk right! I'm sorry, but you'll have to count me out of this," Angie answered scornfully.

"You're going to miss out on a lot of fun, Angie!" he called after her.

"Will not! I'm fine here in Japan!" she retorted.

That was the end of it. She refused to come, and Derek could not convince her otherwise. Even at 31, she was still as stubborn as always.

"Mind introducing us to everyone?" Valerie asked politely.

"Oh, of course." Derek then introduced his former team to the three, who politely introduced themselves as well. Everyone seemed glad to be there except Victor, who was apparently upset that he was pulled from his job in LA. Reunions were always nice, since he hadn't seen Dr. Stiles in a while, but he was still sour that he had to cooperate with a bunch of "red-necks" as he rudely called them.

"Well, we better get a move on," Sidney stated, walking towards the small town ahead.

OooooooO

John Black's farm covered a vast distance, each blade of grass on his property finely tended to. He raised a large family consisting of his wife and four sons, along with their zoo of farm animals. Their neighbors had been the ones to come down with the sky-rocketing fevers, and since the team obviously couldn't stay there at risk of becoming ill, they would be staying at the Blacks'.

John greeted them at the gate as they approached, a huge smile on his face.

"Howdy," he said, shaking their hands as they introduced themselves. "Welcome to the Black farm, I hope ya'll'll like your stay alright!" John wore overalls and basically appeared how a farmer was expected to look. His hair, along with the rest of his family, was brown and was worn short. His eyes were deep blue, though that differentiated him from his family. Their eyes were all brown, taking after his wives dominant trait of brown eyes.

"Nice to meet ya'll," greeted Betty-Lou, John's wife. Her hair was pulled back in a long braid. She wore a dress, also appearing how a farm-wife would. The whole family looked like they'd jumped off the TV screen from an episode of Little House on the Prairie.

"Betty-Lou? There was a woman named Betty-Lou in my dream..." Markus recalled.

"Markus, just drop it already!" Valerie shouted, becoming slightly irritated.

"Oh, let me introduce ya to my boys. This here's Travis, his twin Terry, this is Ben, my oldest boy, and this is Forrest," John said, showing off his sons to the group. Travis and Trent were identical twins, ages 15. Forrest was 16, soon to be 17, and Ben was 19. They all wore cowboy hats and jeans, unlike their father who wore overalls. They were a little more fashionable than their parents.

"Howdy," the boys said in unison.

After everyone got to know each other, Betty-Lou showed the group around the house, showing them where they would be sleeping etc. It was a lovely house, a decent size too. There were enough rooms to cozily fit each gender group in. The guest rooms were spacious and each had gorgeous views of the sunset, according to Betty-Lou. The women marveled at this, eager to see the sight when the time came, while the men couldn't have cared less. They were all business, while the women intended on having a good time while doing their job.

"Go ahead and unpack your things then come on downstairs. John said he wanted to show ya'll around the barn and stuff," Betty-Lou said.

The women went into their room and unpacked their things and the men did the same, only not as maturely or quickly.

"Heh!" Tyler giggled, shoving Victor as he leaned over to unpack his things.

"Ah, damnit, Chase!" Victor growled, shaking a fist at him. Though they were in their late 30's, they still acted like kindergarteners.

Sidney sighed, shaking his head. I'm going to be stuck with them for almost 2 whole weeks...

"C'mon you guys," Derek said quietly.

"Tell idiot over here to quit pushing me," Victor mumbled, shooting an angry glare Tyler's way.

"Man, you boys sure take a long time to unpack," John remarked, leaning in the doorway. "The ladies finished a while ago. I already showed 'em the barn and everythin'."

"Oh, uh, that's okay, you can show us later," Sidney said, thanking him.

"Alright. Well, ya'll wash up for supper. It'll be ready soon. My wife's makin' us quite a treat; her all-famous stew! I tell ya, folks come from miles away just to get their hands on my wife's stew. Yum, it's some good stuff! Hurry up now, or it'll be gone 'fore ya get there!" John told them, rushing downstairs.

After washing up, the team sat down at the table in the dining room, hungrily awaiting the stew John promised would be delicious. They hadn't eaten for hours.

"Travis, be a gentleman and serve our guests for your ol' ma," Betty-Lou said, tapping his shoulder.

"Sure thing Mama," Travis replied, setting what appeared to be dog bowls in front of them.

What was inside also appeared to be canine... dog food.

The group stared at it in disgust, not daring to even give it a whiff, much less a taste.

"What's the matter? Ya'll have somethin' against stew?" Travis asked, putting a hand on his hip. "It's mighty tasty, you're missin' out."

"Uh... Don't be rude, Markus, try it," Valerie urged.

"Um... Alright..." Markus said hesitantly, glancing down at the mush in his bowl. Haphazardly and ever so reluctantly, he chewed and swallowed a spoonful, gagging and trying with all his might to keep it down. It tasted like dog food too...

"Uh... That was... different..." he said, wiping his mouth and pushing the bowl away. "I think I lost my appetite..."

Suddenly, Travis burst out laughing, hitting the floor as he laughed his head off. He was laughing so hard that he had tears in his eyes, and everyone stared at him, confusion pasted on their faces.

"I-I-I can't believe you ate the dog's food! City slickers'll believe anything! Ah ha ha ha!" Travis exclaimed, still laughing like there was no tomorrow.

"TRAVIS!!" screamed John, smacking the boy in the head. "What's the matter with you?!" The infuriated father picked Travis up by the shirt, shaking him violently and inaudibly cursing at him.

"Oh, my!" Betty-Lou shrieked, removing the dog bowls from the table. "I am so, so sorry Mr. Vaughn!"

"I am too..." he said, turning partially green in the face.

"Here, here, let my stew wash out that awful taste," Betty-Lou said, placing more appetizing bowls of stew in front of her guests. "I apologize, I'm afraid my son has no manners..."

The group all smiled at the scrumptious meals placed before them, each of them eager to try this dish. They all did so, sighing as it went down their throats. By the end of the night, they had all filled themselves with Betty-Lou's stew, not leaving a drop left in the pot.

"I'm glad ya'll enjoyed that! I just knew you would!" she squealed with joy. "If ya'll want, I can make some more for supper tomorrow." Now, that was a meal they could all agree on.

"Markus, I'm mighty sorry for all that ruckus my son caused. He knows better. Lemme make it up to ya," John said, putting an arm around Markus' shoulder. "I'll take ya ridin' tomorrow, how's that sound?"

"Riding...?" Giant Cheir?

"Horses, a course," John replied, chuckling heartily. "What do ya say?"

"Um... okay, sure..." Markus said unsurely.

"Great! Set your alarm for 4:00am!" he said, slapping him on the back.

"Aha, okay..."

4am? Oh jeez, what have I gotten myself into?

A/N: Alright, there you have it! Chapter one! This one was not all that thrilling, but it's an introduction so it's to be expected. I don't know if the Second Opinion characters would have still been at their former jobs, but I decided to make it happen to make this story more interesting. So, deal with it! Until next chapter!