(a/n - yea, I should be working, I know, I know. Yes, I am putting off a load of important stuff to write this, I know, I know. But probably one of my greatest ever fellow fangirls has been going through a tough time, and though she probably doesn't want me to do this, I have to, I feel it is my duty, since she's done so much to help me without even knowing it. I can't totally sympathise with her pain, but I can empathise to the best of my ability, and, alongside praying and writing this, I hope it is enough to cheer her up a bit. I won't outright name her, but all I can say is that she knows who she is, and some of you may be able to guess, but I hope she likes it.)
Better Hearts Get Bigger Breaks
She never thought she would end up in this sort of situation, ever. This sort of situation was the sort of thing other people went through. On television, you felt for them. Your friends, you sympathised with them. Your family, you helped them. But you, you're not quite sure what to do with you. You're not used to helping yourself out. That was her problem. She had devoted her life to helping others, caring for others, pleasing others. She had no idea that this sort of, what could she call it? This sort of... Event, could ever happen to her. And now she didn't know what to do.
Nellie Boswell sat at the kitchen table, barely aware of Mongy licking at her heels, sensing that something was wrong. A stray tear escaped from under her eyelid, as she wondered where she had gone wrong. She had loved him, loved him with all of her heart. She couldn't imagine life without him. At first. Then came the changes. Slowly, to begin with. As she cradled their children and tended her father, he would disappear to the pub or go out with his friends, leaving her to do the work. Not that she minded, of course, because she still loved him. If he was happy, so was she.
Then the arguments started. Perhaps nothing serious, but they hurt. She had no idea what she needed to do to please him anymore. Once, he had lavished her with flowers and bags and jewellery. Now, she was lucky if she got a smile and a kiss on the cheek in the morning. Ending it was for the best, she thought, no matter how much it would hurt her. God would understand that she didn't mean to hurt anybody when she told Freddie Boswell to go and live with Lilo Lil, and leave her and the children alone. No matter how much he cried and shouted and pleaded, she would not back down. She was a strong woman. She could do it. And she would. She would get through it. And now she was sat on her own at the table with the dog at her feet, sobbing. She hurt a lot. Her heart, her caring, loving, Christian heart, had been ripped out of her chest and wrung out until it felt dry and out of place. Nellie put her head in her arms and cried to an empty house.
"Mam?" The soft voice echoed through the kitchen. Nellie looked up and gave the owner a watery smile. Joey. Her eldest son, her eldest child, only a teenager, stood in the doorway, a concerned smile etched upon his features. She sighed to herself, and looked back at her son.
"Yes, love? Everything alright?" Joey nodded at her.
"Yeah, Mam, fine. How about you though, eh? Come on, let's get you a cup o' tea."
Nellie laughed gently as Joey told her stories of the exploits of him and his siblings. She felt marginally better. Thanking God for her wonderful children, she smiled at Joey.
"Thanks, our Joey, you're a real help,"
"No sweat, Mam, no sweat. You need family right now."
"I just can't understand why it hurts so much, our Joey, when I knew it was coming."
"You did the right thing, Mam, and of course it'll hurt. You loved him. You still do love him."
"But why, Joey, why?"
"Because you've got a good heart, Mam. And the better hearts get the biggest breaks. They love so much, that when it gets destroyed, they can't cope. But you've helped all of us, Mam. So we'll all help you. Me, Adrian, Jack, Aveline, Billy, Grandad, God, your friends. They'll all help, Mam. We can make it work. We will."
And so they did. Nellie got over it, bit by bit, with the help of her children, her friends, her religion. She surrounded herself with the rest of the things she loved. For while her heart had been torn up by one person, it still had to carry on beating for the rest of the things she loved. And she would continue to love. Infinitely. Family, friends and faith were more important than wallowing in a break up.
It took time, but, eventually, Nellie was able to function again. And she had learned to help herself. With everybody else around her, Nellie picked herself back up. And when any of her children came to her with a heartbreak, she helped them. Because Nellie had been through it herself. And being a strong woman, she needed to support others. Because that's what Nellie was made for.
It hurt in the beginning, but eventually, it ceased. Those she loved made sure of that.
(a/n - yeah, it ain't great. Sorry. I wrote this in twenty minutes and it is the first of this sort of thing which I've written really. It isn't very cheerful, and I did want it to be more cheerful. Sorry.)
