AN: Hi all. So this is my first foray into FF. I've read a bunch and have had a ton of ideas, and even started a few stories, but never put them up anywhere. So here we go. I would LOVE constructive criticism, but keep the blatant negativity to yourself.
This is just my imagination running wild, I don't own any of the characters, and the situations are fictional. SM's world, I just enjoy visiting. Hope you like it!!
~*~*~*~
I stared at the stupid little plastic contraption sitting on my bathroom sink for what seemed like a decade. How could something so small, so ridiculously insignificant convey information that would change my life FOREVER? The pink plus sign stared back at me, daring me to make my next move.
I picked it up and threw it across the room. Take that you future ending piece of shit. Surprisingly, I felt better, even if it lasted all of a nanosecond. My momentary peace was interrupted by the sound of my roommate walking into the room. Just in time to hold my hair, I thought as a wave of nausea overtook me again. I crash-landed in front of the porcelain god, wincing as the ceramic tile crushed my knees. My vigilant compardre rushed to my side to grab my hair from the stream of chunks I was expelling from my system.
"I'm going to assume from the sound of it, and the remnants of the test scattered around your bedroom, that it was positive?" she asked.
At this point, all I could do is nod. If I dared open my mouth again, I'm pretty sure I'd be expelling major organs. After a few minutes of hovering over the toilet, my stomach had settled a bit. I leaned back and rested against the bathtub, reaching for my towel to wipe my mouth with.
"Well shit Alice," I mumbled. Apparently she had left me at some point to grab me some water and crackers. She handed me the glass, setting the crackers on the counter for later. "How did this happen?"
Alice raised her eyebrows at me, silently asking "Are you fucking serious?".
"Well, you see, when a woman gets really lonely, and I'm talking last human in the solar system lonely, she turns to her good friend Jose. And he convinces her to go out, meet people and make terrible decisions. Like letting Jacob Black stick his dick in you, for example." She shuddered as she said his name. I chuckled as the small woman with the nasty mouth.
Laughing, apparently, is a pregnancy no-no, as another round of purging came around. Sweet Jesus, I only had toast this morning... Is that corn? When the frick did I have corn? Alice grabbed my hair again, gently petting and combing it, in what I can best estimate to be attempts at relaxing me.
When I was done dry heaving, which was about 45 minutes after I started the upchucking process, Alice helped me get cleaned up, which included brushing my teeth and getting me into clean sleepwear. I then somehow managed to drink down the glass of water, and keep it down. I wasn't going to tempt fate with the crackers, but the water was nice. Tasting anything besides bile and half digested food in my mouth was nice.
I found Alice sitting on the couch when I went to put my glass in the sink. I sat down and faced her, pulling my legs up to my chest. "What do I do, Al?"
She took in a deep breath a let it out slowly. "You know what your options are better than I do. You know what you're willing to do, and what you aren't. Do you want to make a list? Maybe that will help you think about it."
Alice and her god-damned lists. They were scattered throughout the apartment, her car, her tiny area in the dressing room. Absolutely everywhere the girl went, she left a list. But the pixie had a point. "Yeah, lets make a list." Her eyes lit up like I had told her we could go shopping on Rodeo Drive.
"Okay. Lets list the options. Then we'll pro-con each one. Option one..." she trailed off as she waited for me to tell her what to write. Her phone suddenly started blaring "Freebird" and I rolled my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I love Jasper and all, and the two of them are flippin' storybook perfect, but I was kinda having a moment here. I waited for her to answer it, but to my shock, she sent it to voicemail, and then shut her phone off.
"Did you really just send Hale to voicemail?" I asked in amazement.
"He can wait. You need me now." I leapt over the middle cushion separating us on the sofa and wrapped my arms around her.
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it, Bel. Lets finish this list. Then we need to get ready for dinner." I groaned. "Don't start with me, or you will be wearing the miniskirt AND the Louboutins. Don't test me here."
"I don't understand why you need me to go. I mean Jasper is amazing, and your parents are going to love him."
"Bella," she sighed. "I already told you. I know that they are going to love him. But I don't want them picking on my brother for not having anyone. You will help balance things out tonight. And you've met Edward, you like him. You'll be a great buffer."
I sighed, finally accepting that resistance was futile. If an unexpected pregnancy wasn't enough to get me out of this soiree, nothing was. "Maybe we can distract them with my after-school special of a life. Could be good dinner conversation, no?"
"It would certainly be a distraction. But my mother would have an aneurism, and I'm going to need her help planning my wedding someday since you're absolutely worthless at anything requiring a woman's touch."
I threw a pillow at her for that one. As I watched it fly over the back of the couch, the clock on the kitchen wall caught my eye. "Shit Al. It's 5:30 already. We should get ready. Don't want to be late for dinner at the Cullen Manor," I said, my voice saturated with sarcasm.
"But we haven't finished the list. What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to think about it. I guess I should go see a doctor, you know do all that stuff."
"And Black? What are you going to do about him?"
"Avoid him like the plague?" She rolled her eyes dramatically at me.
"We're going to see him Tuesday for group rehearsal. You're his partner, don't you think that will be a little weird?"
"And me telling him I'm carrying his bastard child is going to make it okay? How do you even start that conversation? 'Hi Jake. How's it going? How's your dad? Oh, BTW, I'm totally preggers, so, um, just thought you should know. Ready for the lift?' Yeah, THAT'S going to go over like gangbusters Al." I buried my head under a throw pillow.
"I guess you should wait until you know what you're going to do. Or at least until you're sure you're even pregnant." I held up six fingers at her. "What does that mean?"
"Six tests."
"Huh?"
"I took six tests. Two each of three different brands."
"Holy Jesus, and they were ALL positive?"
I nodded beneath the pillow. "Every last fucking one. One even had the audacity to display a fucking happy face. I though it was a little presumptuous of the company to include that little gem."
We both laughed at that. Alice moved the pillow from my face and knelt by my side of the couch. "We will get you through this, no matter what. But for tonight, lets go have a phenomenal dinner, brag about our show, and enjoy ourselves. We'll deal with this," she said motioning to the pad, "tomorrow. Ya?" She wiped the single tear that had slipped from my eyes off my cheek.
"I love you Al," I said as I pulled her in for a hug.
*~*~*~*~*
Two hours, three costume changes, and four doses of Pepto later, we were finally on our way. Jasper had picked us up at our apartment, and we were waiting for Edward outside his. Alice had done her best with me, trying to make me look like something other than Casper the sexually ambiguous ghost. I had to admit, I actually kinda liked the dress, and she let me wear flats, so all in all, I didn't have much to complain about.
Edwards finally reached the car and climbed in the back with me. He leaned forward to kiss Alice on the cheek, mumbled a "Hi" to Jasper, then nodded curtly to me. Maybe I still smelled like vomit, who knows. I just turned and looked out the window for the rest of the 45-minute scenic drive into the Olympic Forest.
Alice and Edward were raised with privilege I can even imagine. Their family has been wealthy for generations, but she won't tell me how. I'm guessing bootlegging or prostitution. They grew up with maids and nannys and butlers and shit. I'm fairly certain that Alice didn't do a load of her own laundry until we lived together.
We pull up to the mansion, and I'm not exaggerating here, the place is a fucking monstrosity, and climb out of the SUV. We walk up the gravel path and wait at the front door. I notice Alice grasping Jasper's hand for dear life, like she needs it to take in oxygen, and Jasper's other hand is fiddling with something in his pants pocket. Holy shit he's not going to do it is he? Tonight? Really?
He is and he does. As soon as we enter the house, we're greeted with glasses of wine, which I turn down bitterly. We're shuttled into the dining hall, yes hall, and we sit. I'm next to Edward, who is next to his mother and father at the head of the table. Al and Jaz are across from us. I'm sipping down my water, wishing it was vodka, and soon, dinner is served. The plates hit the table and Jas opens his mouth to say "Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, I have something I want to ask you." and he does. He asks for permission to marry Alice. Right there in front of her. They say yes, more to be polite at the moment than anything else I think, and he turns and drops to one knee in front of the pixie.
The squeal she lets out is of a pitch only dogs can hear. And the rock is ginormous. 4-carats at least. Apparently Jasper's family is loaded too. Who knew?
Edward and I quietly finish dinner and desert, which were fucking phenomenal, then I excuse myself from the table to leave the family to their stuff. I'm sure there is stuff they need to discuss that they don't want me sitting in on, and I don't really want to think about how everything is falling into place for Al while it's falling apart for me. So I fake my enthusiasm, give Alice a big kiss and ogle her ring, then head down to the gardens to walk around a bit.
I end up on the edge of the pool, dangling my legs in the water, contemplating the universe. Or at least mine. I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear anyone come up behind me until he plopped down and sat next to me.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"Where did you come from?" I asked, startled. I was shocked because I had been so deep in thought and because Edward didn't talk to anyone other than Alice. He was the stereotypical strong silent type.
"I maxed out my happiness meter about 2 hours ago. Why aren't you in there planning the wedding? Isn't that supposed to be something girls live for?"
I scoffed. "Not this one. And I wouldn't be any help anyways. My mind is a million miles away."
"You wanna talk about it? Might help."
"I'm pregnant," I muttered, looking down into the pool. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice him reel back from the statement, like I had punched him. He let out a low whistle, and I chuckled. "That's what I said."
"What are you going to do? Aren't you going on the tour? How are you going to dance with a tummy two feet in front of you?" I shrugged. As much as I tried to stop them, a few stray tears slipped from my eyes.
"I don't know. I keep getting lost as I think of what other people will think or say. There's what most people think I should do, there's what people would accept if I did, and then there's what feels right. So I'm lost."
"Fuck other people." I stared at him in shock. "I'm serious here Bella. This decision is really only affecting you. Maybe if you stretch the logic, the father, but really you. Fuck what other people think or want. Do what you need to do, not what other people need or want you to do."
I heard the clicking of Alice's heals behind us, and I turned around to see her and Jasper moving towards us. "You guys about ready? We have rehearsal early tomorrow, so we should be heading out." I moved to stand up, but before I could move, two arms were lifting me up. When he had set me safety on me feet, he whispered in my ear, sending chills up my spine in the best kind of way.
"Do what you need to do, Bella. What YOU need."
I turned to look him in the eye, and felt butterflies. Or maybe it was more nausea. But I'd like to think it was butterflies, because looking at him took my breath away. "I really wish it was that easy, Edward. I really do."
~*~*~*~
Leave me a note, tell me what you think!!--RL
