Author's Notes: Where do Nobodies go when they die? Wal-Mart! Me and my best bud are co-writing this fanfic, and suggestions are always welcome! If you haven't played Chain of Memories things may not make a great deal of sense, but you'll just have to learn about the characters you don't know very well as you go. Some decisions are based off the manga, some off of theory, and others off of the pure facts presented by the lovely Wikipedia. This fanfic takes place after Axel's death. Organization members that die after him, like Luxord or Saix, aren't in the fic. At least not yet.

Disclaimer: Axel belongs to Organization XIII, which belongs to Xemnas, which belongs to Kingdom Hearts which belongs to Square Enix and Disney. Walmart is Walmart and belongs to Walmart. McDonalds... same story, different business tycoon. The idea for this fanfic belongs to my friend Neva, who's cowriting it with me! If any of the events in this story seem to match reality, tough luck. It's fiction, so that'd be merely a coincidence. The views expressed on various stores, resturaunt chains, etc are shared purely by the writers of the fanfic.


The Afterlife: Wal-Mart

Everyone wonders what happens to Nobodies when they fade away, but no one actually knows. Do they disappear, consumed by the darkness? Do they find their hearts and become born again? Or do their minds float around in nothingness, forever lost?

Well, our freaky darlings, we shall enlighten you, as we have discovered what happens after a Nobody fades away. We will tell you of the lives they then lead, enslaved forever as laborers for the most evil thing of all things evil. We shall write to you about the horrible things they encounter as our two favorite Nobodies attempt to escape hell, for they are eternal slaves to the most evil of evils:

Wal-Mart.

Yes, we told you they were enslaved by the most evil of evils, and we weren't lying! So let us start our story with our most beloved, red head, Axel, who after putting all of his being into destroying a large amount of Dusks, faded into nothing. Because you see, then he awoke on the floor of the dreaded Wal-Mart.


Axel thought he was supposed to be dead, but apparently he wasn't. His head hurt, as if he had been bashed over the head by Sora's Fenrir keyblade. Due to his head's throbbing, he figured he was very much alive.

Opening his bright green eyes, the first thing he saw was a black sphere set against a white ceiling, surrounded by mold. The second thing he saw was a smiling, pale face with sparkly (insert color of Demyx's eyes here) eyes and dark blond hair.

"...Demyx?"

The smile grew.

"Hello Axel, and welcome to Hell-mart! -uh, I mean, Wal-Mart!"

"...Demyx?" Axel repeated.

"Yeah, bud?"

"Please - stop talking."

Demyx's eyes narrowed. A spiraling headache was something Axel usually acquired after talking to Demyx, but since he already had one, talking was undesirable, to say the least. Demyx stepped away as Axel began to stand and take in his surroundings. A wall full of shades of pastel pinks momentarily stunned the red-head so he spun to face the opposite wall in a vain attempt to escape the pink-ness. This new wall was covered with an equal amount of pastel shades of blue. Blue or pink, the objects lining the walls remained the same. Women's underwear. This realization coming full circle, Axel stared at Demyx's face with something akin to horror.

"If this is a store, as you said, why this aisle?"

"All the newbies show up in this aisle." Demyx shrugged.

"But why this aisle?!" The pyro demanded.

A very perturbed woman and her daughter poked their heads down the very feminine coloured aisle at the two arguing bishies.

"Woah, woah, cool it," Demyx motioned Axel to calm down, "People are already staring, and if the manager finds out about this, then we're in trouble!" He hooked an arm around Axel's shoulder and guided him away from the women's underwear aisle and away from the staring female shoppers, trying not to look suspicious.

"Demyx, you have a lot of explaining to do!" Hissed Axel.

"I know I do, man, I know. Umm... listen."

Demyx forcefully sat Axel down on bench next to the in-store McDonalds and cleared enough space between them so that it was close enough to remain a private conversation, yet far enough away so that Demyx could wildly use abstract hand gestures to get his point across, which he was prone to do, while also far enough away so that Axel didn't attack and maim him, which Axel was sometimes prone to do when angry. Okay, so what if Nobody's can't feel anything? It's a very rather scary imitation of actual anger.

"When I died, uh, I guess you could have called it died, I showed up here at this WalMart. Zexion was there to greet me at the underwear aisle, 'cuz like I said, all the newbies show up there, because there's this little green light that goes off in those black security camera bubbles-," Demyx made the shape of a bubble with his hands and pointed to one in a nearby corner before continuing, "-whenever someone from the Organization shows up. Like, a lot of us from Castle Oblivion have shown up here-"

"Oh great." muttered Axel, mentally counting how many Organization members from Castle Oblivion were dead because of his doing.

"Isn't it? Anyway, I came and got you 'cuz the little light went off and Marluxia insisted it was my job because I'm not good at doing anything else."

"That's really great, Demyx," Axel replied, voice dripping with sarcasm, "But that doesn't explain why us... dead... Organization XIII members are showing up in a WalMart."

"...I know it doesn't. But, then again, we haven't really figured that out yet either."

Axel rubbed his forehead. His headache wasn't fading and Demyx wasn't helping the matter.

"Axel, the MANAGER will know you're here, and they will be expecting you to work in the store, too."

"Me? Work in a lowly shopping mall? Hell no! And why do you say manager like that?"

"Everyone calls him, well maybe its even a her, the MANAGER in that tone. I don't think any of us, except maybe Marluxia has ever seen the MANAGER."

"Well that's because Marluxia's a glory hog. Always placing himself in power playing positions." Retorted Axel with a smirk.

Just then, Larxene walked up to the guys, the smell of french fries and deep fat fried hamburgers wafting up with her. Her feminity was accentuated with a frilly McDonalds apron over her Organization coat and a McDonalds hat eclipsing her blonde hair. Come to think of it, Axel realized that Demyx was also still wearing his coat, albeit with a name tag.

"Ah. Hello Larxene." Demyx said formally, with a nod. He turned to Axel, "She works in the in-store restaurant because the MANAGER says its-"

"Aesthetically pleasing to have a blonde female serve food to overweight men of a certain age group." Larxene quoted with a small frown.

Axel relaxed back into the wooden bench and gave a half-wave, "Hullo, then."

"Axel," she said pointedly, "Did you just get here?"

"Just got here," he assured before asking, "Do you know why the heck we're here?"

"No, but I do know something interesting - we can't leave this WalMart."

"Interesting? How's that interesting?"

"Because the automatic sliding glass doors don't open for Nobodies," Larxene said crossly, "And I've tried walking out with a crowd of shoppers, only to walk into an invisible barrier that literally makes noise when you tap on it."

(...the said noise sounds something like "ping" and "clang" ending up more like "pluh-kang".)

Demyx nodded vigorously and added, "I got in trouble for trying to use an emergency exit door, same thing."

In a vague attempt to get into the swing of things, Axel asked, "So, when do I get a spiffy name tag?"

"What? That's all your going to ask?"

"...I had more questions but I suddenly feel as if they're unimportant. Wait, hmm... how about... do we get paid and who is this MANAGER person anyway?"

"Now that's one question... we're not allowed to ask." Said a very sullen-sounding Zexion as he somehow appeared on the bench next to Axel. Of course, he always sounds rather sullen, so at this moment he wasn't particularly any more-so sullen than he normally was.

Zexion's mouth twitched, that being the closest he ever comes to actually smiling, and muttered randomly, "We Nobodies can go without sleep longer than normal people."

He paused and eyed the masses of shoppers in the checkout lines with his classic emo-tastic-ness?

Axel, Demyx, and Larxene stared at Zexion. Whenever Zexion paused in speaking, it was hard to tell if he would continue or not. Though most of his pauses were indefinite, whenever he did continue he usually had some worthwhile input to the conversation. Slowly, Zexion looked towards Axel, his hair falling coolly over the right side of his face. Some whisper of what in ordinary people would be an emotion caused Axel to ponder if Zexion "forgave" him for suggesting to a Riku clone that he should dispose of Zexion.

"This store is open 24/7 and the MANAGER knows we don't have to really sleep, so our shifts... just... don't end. It's not right, mistreating us because we aren't normal."

Axel sat bolt upright, "Working all night and all day? Now that's unfair! Don't we even get breaks?"

"...we get six fifteen-minute breaks. Also, three meal breaks, which are half an hour long. The manager has also had it arranged so that none of our breaks occur at approximately the same time."

"Except the meal breaks, which I have Marluxia and Lexaeus and Vexen," said Larxene, "Demyx has his with Xaldin and Zexion, so I assume you'll be stuck with them."

"Ow..." said Axel, "Marluxia with Vexen? Those two have been conspiring against eachother since... forever."

"...yes, but Marluxia is still in power. At least, he is in his own head. It makes lunch entertaining, to say the least. I ignore them all anyway. Reading."

Demyx nodded, "I'm an exception to the breaks because I'm the guy who wanders from department to department so people can always find someone they can ask for help. No matter where they place me to work, I always break something. Like short circuit the cash registers. Or knock over displays." He teared up dramatically, "Or accidentally murder innocent goldfishies."

Axel furrowed his smexy cut-off eyebrows, but didn't question Demyx's antics. He could act so... well, whatever. Point is, it was still acting, and even Demyx had a bad side.

A blaring announcement came over the loudspeaker, "This is your WalMart position-right-below-MANAGER speaking, Marluxia, announcing Zexion better get back to his cash register, and Larxene that her break is almost up. Demyx is to bring Axel back to the Department of Management to fill out his --insert mock laugh here-- application. Yes, Axel, we know you're here. And we've been waiting."

Axel stared at the ceiling speaker and found the entire announcement highly presumptuous of the management to assume he wanted to work. Not that Nobodies really wanted anything. But they didn't not-not want anything, either. They just didn't like being ordered around. Wait, Nobodies don't like either. Hmm, either which way, though a series of complex psychological experiments, the Nobodies just didn't care anymore. Which left them one of three things... confused, stubborn, or easily manipulated by whomever had authority over them.

He looked to his comrades. Well, they were forced into this slavery, so... he probably didn't even have a snowflakes chance in hell to get out of this. Axel cursed under his breath and felt the itching need to light something on fire...


The Department of Management was at the back of the store, through two doors, and about the size of a large closet. Demyx explained that Marluxia had claimed it and turned the "office" into a small green house. Standing before the door Demyx look Axel square in the eye and said simply, "watch out for the plants," before opening the door and shoving him inside.

"Thanks Demyx, you're so freakin' brave."

"Oh Axel, sweetie, please try not to swear in front of my darling plants."

...and there stood Marluxia in all his pink haired glory, hugging a potted plant that appeared to have pearly white fangs. He smiled slyly and put the plant down. Axel froze as the fiend approached him and then suddenly slapped the right side of his chest.

"AHHHH!"

Axel leapt back against the door.

"Why'd you hit me!?"

"There's your spiffy name tag." Marluxia's smile never left his face as he handed a permanent marker to Axel.

Axel looked down at his chest where a shiny piece of duck-tape had been slapped onto his coat. Numbly he took the permanent maker.

"So why's it duck-tape?" he wondered aloud.

"Budget cuts." Marluxia frowned as he said it answering Axel's question as he attempted to write his name on the piece of duck-tape without screwing it up too badly. And this process was all upside down for that matter. A three year old could probably have written better.

"Uh huh." Axel pretended to understand and handed back the foul smelling marker. Glancing nervously at the vines that were creeping towards him, he spoke again.

"So uh... Can I leave now?"

Marluxia looked up at him from where he was on the ground next to the tiny desk, humming to a vicious looking purple and green plant. His eyes held a dazed look and he nodded absent mindedly before going back to humming to his plants. Axel quickly departed from the plant infested closet. Breathing deeply he leaned against the door and sighed with relief.


MANAGER's Notes:

I) Xemnas - Obviously not dead yet.

II) Xigbar - Sadly not dead yet. Would work well in the Weapons Department with all the guns. And laser tag. That's his thing.

III) Xaldin - Dead. The Whirlwind Lancer. But where to place him?

IV) Vexen - Dead because of Axel. The Chilly Academic. He needs to go somewhere icy... maybe the Frozen Foods Department.

V) Lexaeus - Dead. The Silent Hero. Very muscular... will place him in the Packing and Shipping Department. Manga says he likes puzzles... Hmmm...

VI) Zexion - Dead because Axel told Riku clone to kill him. The Cloaked Schemer. Currently in the Customer Service Department, which includes the checkout aisle.

VII) Saïx - Not dead yet. The Lunar Diviner. Now that over half of the Organization is dead, Xemnas treats him as second in command. Saix was the first to brand Axel as a traitor to the group.

VIII) Axel - Dead. The Flurry of Dancing Flames. The main character. Where will he fit in best?

IX) Demyx - Dead. The Melodious Nocturne. He's not as poor of a fighter as he thinks he is, but he is one of the youngest of the Organization. If it weren't for his clumsy nature, he'd fit in well with music or water. Think he would flood the electronics department?

X) Luxord - Not dead yet. The Gambler of Fate. He'd fit in well with the board games...

XI) Marluxia - Dead. The Graceful Assassin. He's always friends with those in power, and has taken a huge role in the Management of HellMart. I mean, uh... Walmart. Did we mention he likes rose petals? Self-proclaimed pretty-boy, if you ask me.

XII) Larxene - Dead. The Savage Nymph. She's the only female member of the Organization. Marluxia has placed her in McDonalds. She was another friend of Axel's, and may cause trouble with him in the near future... If she fails at her fast food job, she's going to the Books and Magazines Department. She reads in her free-time anyway...

XIII) Roxas: ... The Key of Destiny. He's not dead, but he's with Sora.


Author's Notes: Review!! Your reviews will inspire us to continue...