Akatsuki's Babies
By Me!
I don't own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden, I just own the babies.
I will give you the ages of the Akatsuki members that I think they're at.
Pein (Yahiko): 23
Konan: 21
Nagato: 23
Zetsu: … I really don't have any idea.
Itachi: 20
Kisame: 22
Hidan: 22
Kakuzu: 61 (come on now, he's not fooling anybody. Not even trying.)
Deidara: 19 (go ahead, give me all kinda of crap. I don't research this at ALL)
Tobi/Madara/Obito (omg spoiler… NOT. I knew it was Obito when he was first introduced. Obito not Tobi.): I wanna say… 25. (He and Kakashi are the same age so…)
Sasori: 24
Orochimaru (yea he's still here, he leaves later.) 32
Oh and by the way, they get older. They are this age when the get TEH BABEHS!
It was a cold and dark night in the Hidden Rain Village; it was also 2:12 in the morning. In a construction field nearby, you can hear the faint cry of a crazed woman.*heheheheheHAHAHA* "My little, small, HELPLESS, babies. Soon God, will accept you into heaven, and after I drop you off, your god blessed mother will pull this trigger against her head and take care of the fake god!" she said with a cackle. She walked up to the rumored spot that is said to be the stairway to heaven. "Look babies, Gods angel takes this way to see her master." (That's right fanboys, her master. Imagine what you will. I know I am *thinks dirty thoughts*) She grabbed a paper bomb and put in against the wall. After the smoked cleared, she saw a long stairway. She ran with her ninja skills and chakra control to her feet. "Now little ones you're never going to see me or remember me. Just know I'm doing this because I love you." She said with a crazed smile. With that she pounded on the door and left with a puff of smoke. Thunder startled the newborns and left them crying. The door opens with Puppet Master looking at the bundles of… let just say joy. "Hm, I should just ignore it… screw it." He grabbed the basket that was holding the babies and brought them in. "Let's see, for now I guess I can use some spare puppet parts for a temporary crib." He told himself. Using chakra strings, he put together and crib that would put a nursery to shame. "I didn't think that would work as well as it did. Now let's get you two dried up, you'll catch a cold from the rain drops." He said rubbing them with a towel. "Now, off to bed with you two." he said while putting them in the crib. "Now I have to figure out to do with you two. I'm sorry but I'm not sure we can keep you. I'll find out tomorrow." He said with a frown.
In the Akatsuki Base, at 5: 43 only Konan, Sasori and Itachi were awake to aid the crying twins. "SO SOMEONE JUST LEFT THEM HERE!?" Konan yelled while holding one of the twins. "It seems so." Itachi said while holding the other. "Konan, go wake up Pein and ask what we should do with them." Sasori asked. "Yeah, hold this one." She said giving the small bundle to the Human puppet. She walked to her shared chambers with the man with the Rinnegan eyes. "Pein, wake up." She asked. He rose up immediately. "Konan its 5 in the morning, what's up." He asked. "Uh, well we have… visitors." She said with a comical face. Pein shot out of bed with kunai in hand. "HOW THE HELL DID THEY GET IN, DID SOMEONE LET THEM IN!? He yelled. "Pein, calm down, just come with me and you'll know exactly what the problem is." She said.
…
"So, THAT'S the problem, let me see them." Pein ordered. He grabbed the twins and looked at them very hard. After a long moment he put them in their crib. "So what's the fate of these two?" Itachi asked. "Say hello to our new babies." He said. Konan screamed, "YAY, I always wanted to raise a kid, now I have two." she screamed. "Ok, let's let them nap while we get the other member's and share the news.
The Akatsuki member's sat in the living room waiting for their leader to return for what he called "surprise". "Oi, what the hell do you think it is." Hidan asked. "Maybe a new TV." Kisame wondered. "A new art studio!" Deidara screamed. "A Unicorn!" Tobi yelled. "SHUT UP TOBI!" Deidara yelled. "Some new blood samples." Orochimaru questioned. The whole room went silent. "Anyway, I hope it doesn't cost too much." Kakuzu said. Just then Pein, Konan, Sasori and Itachi walked into the room wheeling in a crib with little people in them. One of them had cold, black, emotionless eyes and the other had bright blue eyes that seemed filled with life. They both were chubby but that's normal with babies.
"OH HELL TO THE FUCKING NO!" Hidan yelled. Konan had a tick mark pop on her head and whacked Hidan's head. "Fuck, what the hell did I-"he was interrupted by Konan beating on him relentlessly. She stopped and held on to the blue eyed baby. "No cursing with babies around." She ordered. "Konan, for once I agree with Hidan, we can't afford these kids." Kakuzu explained. "Oh, really because from these files on your desk, not only can we afford them, but we can also buy TWELVE HOUSES. Kakuzu, now I'm going through the records with you." Pein said. "OH, Tobi wants to keep them, I want to be like a big brother like sempai is my sempai!" Tobi yelled. "And I can show them my art! Maybe they'll understand my art, un." Deidara said. "Ok so we're agreed. Now to give them names!" Konan squealed. "First the boy." Pein ordered.
Tobi: Cake.
Deidara: Bakuhatsu, yeah.
Hidan: Ogama.
Kakuzu: Okane.
Orochimaru: Noroi.
Sasori: Ningyo.
Kisame: Era.
Itachi: Hmm, Masuku?
Pein: Good name Itachi. That's perfect.
Konan: Let's name the girl Hana!
Pein: sure
"And, now for sleeping arrangements. We'll keep them in the same room and switch them from everyone's rooms to the other. Today they'll sleep with me and Konan and tomorrow they'll sleep with Hidan and Kakuzu." Pein said. "Dammit, I don't want these brats in my room!" Konan cracked her knuckles and started punching Hidan until he fainted. "Don't. You. Call my babies! Brats." Everyone including Pein just watched in horror until the beating stopped. "Ok, so who wants breakfast?" she said with a smile.
