The sheets are messed up, they lie sweaty and entangled on Felix's bed, Delphine still panting from her last orgasm. Cosima is so done fighting this. It's more obvious than ever that Cosima cannot think with Delphine's tongue in her mouth, with Delphine hands on her skin, with Delphine's hips bucking up to envelop her fingers. It's still difficult to think with Delphine's arms simply wrapped around her as she catches her breath.
"C'était trop..." Delphine gasps softly in disbelief, between breaths.
She's grinning into the sweet skin of Delphine's neck, "Hmmm?" She hums back waiting for a response.
It had started with a kiss to her own neck and they'd quickly made their way to the bed. She could not deny her desire for Delphine. Not when they kissed frantically on the couch, or made their way to bed, shedding most of Delphine's clothes and a few of her own on the way. Not when Delphine moaned Cosima's name into her ear as she entered her. Cosima wants to laugh, in some ways it's ridiculous. She's crazy about Delphine, who still has no clue how to touch her. All clumsy unsure hands and slightly too long nails. Delphine who cries out softly for her, cupping her cheek with her hand and holding her eyes as she fucks her. Except, it has never felt like just fucking. Cosima knows already it won't be with Delphine - it will never be that simple.
"Too much." Delphine clarifies, breath unsteady.
Cosima's words are muffled into skin, "Nah... three isn't that many, you could have more."
Delphine's arms still cling around her, she's mumbling to her in French again, and Cosima doesn't understand a damn word she's saying but she never wants to move. Ever. She remembers a TED talk by Helen Fisher on love. Not an emotion, but a drive - a need. The ability to size up a potential mate within moments. Is that what this is? No one has ever felt as good as Delphine. A simple touch of her hand is stimulating, almost electric. When she's inside her, it's nearly overwhelming. This is more than just an affirmation of life. She's done that before, after her Opa died she'd had a close friend in her bed within a week. What a disaster that had been - there had been little true chemistry. It's not like that with Delphine, it never will be. She's going to drown in this.
Cosima groans softly, not wanting to move her face from the crook of Delphine's neck.
Delphine kisses her temple and she sighs audibly, snuggling into her, wanting to feel as much skin as possible. Cosima could drown in this, happily.
Cosima removes her face from Delphine's neck to look at her again, but she doesn't move off of her, doesn't move to separate their bodies at all. They're not completely undressed, though at least this time Delphine's underwear are on the floor.
She's eternally grateful to whatever weird physiological need keeps them pressed belly to belly on this bed. Cosima would happily spend the rest of her life pressed against Delphine like this. It's undeniable - they are compatible. Their bodies want each other. Even Delphine's had known, from its reactions the first night they spent together. The way she responded to Cosima's touch, the tenderness of it all.
It feels like more then that though, Delphine stroking her face, breath evening out for now, "Cosima? You're so quiet."
"You're really comfy." Cosima responds, "I might fall asleep on you if we're not careful."
Delphine smiles, "Good. I don't mind..."
"How do you feel?" Cosima asks gently rolling her hips down into Delphine's. She knows what she is really asking: are you satisfied, do you want more? Want me?
"Tes hanches... your hips..." Delphine's eyes close, obviously enjoying it, "There's no point to this but..."
Cosima grins, rolling her hips more noticeably, "It turns you on?"
"Oui." Delphine answers, stroking at her face, rolling her own hips upwards to meet hers. They move like that for several long moments, eyes locked and breathing heavy.
"You feel good." Cosima whispers against Delphine's lips, "Almost too good."
Delphine croons at her, "Dis-moi... what do you need?"
Cosima doesn't doubt for a minute that Delphine will do whatever she asks her to; that Delphine wants to touch - but that's not what she wants right now. Cosima glances around, "Are those candles?" There are tons of them in this room. Damn Felix has tons of them.
"I think so." Delphine flops back on the bed contentedly, taking deep breaths. Cosima wriggles out of Delphine's arms and hops to her feet.
Cosima wants it to be more than this, she fumbles around the room lighting candles with Felix's lighter. She smiles at Delphine, still lying on the bed with wobbly limbs.
Is this romance? Love? With a side-dish of deception? She's such an idiot when it comes to Delphine. Her monitor in the bed, looking up at her like she's wonderful. Can she trust Delphine? Her words? Her body? Cosima wants to believe her, desperately.
It wasn't supposed to happen again, not here at Felix's loft, in his bed. Not after their fight, a cheap flight to Buffalo and a greyhound to Toronto was supposed to get her away from Delphine - and her own insatiable, inexplicable need for her. Not after Delphine's betrayal. That is what she told herself when Delphine hopped a plane to Toronto and insisted on coming to see her. When Delphine reached out to touch her, helping her with the genome and its damn patent. Patented... that is difficult to forget, even now. So was being sick- the shortness of breath, the trouble breathing that finally had a known cause unrelated to her enthusiasm for marijuana. Though, she probably shouldn't have been self-medicating with pot as much as she had been...
Her mind spins through possible scenarios: her clone-sisters, Leekie, DYAD, Delphine...
Cosima assures herself, she can do both - protect her sisters, have Delphine - she'll have to be careful, that's all. She can do that much, she turns to see Delphine smiling at her, lying on the bed still blissed out from the passion they had shared.
Cosima crawls back on to the bed, candles now flickering around Felix's bed. It's almost perfect - Delphine in candlelight, on Felix's bed. Shit... Cosima makes a mental note to change and wash the sheets. She will at least pay for the laundry, she decides quickly.
She's quickly distracted by the fact that Delphine is still breathless and naked except for that black bra.
"You okay?" She asks, stroking at Delphine's long legs, enjoying the smooth skin, the smell of her. Delphine reeks of sex now. Cosima muffles a moan leaning in to kiss a knee.
"Yes." Delphine is laughing and smiling, this is what she wanted. Exactly this. "Come back up here." Her laughter is still the most thrilling thing Cosima has ever heard.
Cosima hums in her throat. She means to move up to kiss Delphine, it's probably what she's expecting. Not to mention she doesn't want Delphine to feel obligated to return the favour.
Instead she abruptly buries her face between Delphine's thighs, she's still deliciously slick. Cosima presses gently suckling kisses against slick flesh, lapping contentedly at the arousal she finds there. Dark wet curls press into her face, her nose, and she cannot get enough. It's never going to be enough. She'll be coated in Delphine when she's done, it's fitting, perfect really.
Delphine moans loudly, hips thrashing up in surprise, "You want to do that... now?"
Reluctantly, she removes her mouth from Delphine's sex long enough to answer. "Yes." Cosima purrs, "So much." Her mouth returns to work Delphine gently, deliberately. She holds quivering thighs steady with her arms. She continues, bent on building Delphine up for another release.
Delphine is loud when she tastes her, moaning like she's not used to this. Like no one has ever done this to her properly. Maybe ever. Cosima knows too well how strangely squeamish men can be. She needs to do this slowly, tenderly... Convince Delphine that she smells amazing, tastes amazing...
You're going to come in my mouth, Cosima thinks, sucking gently, glancing up Delphine's body to get a look at her face. She feels Delphine's hips buck up into her mouth despite her best efforts to keep still. Delphine is gripping her head, one hand clutching desperately at dreads, shaking with effort to keep her hips still.
Cosima guides Delphine's hips to move with her hands, she hums encouragingly, letting Delphine move however she wants to.
"Cosima..." She hears her name in a muddle of desperate moans she cannot quite make out with soft thighs clamped around her ears.
Delphine looks concerned for her... it's sweet really. It's okay, she tries to communicate wordlessly, I like this, I want this. Delphine tastes sweet, and she cannot get enough. Cosima still aches; but this eases it - Delphine's orgasm will be enough to satisfy her, for now.
Delphine tenses easily beneath her, her entire body tightening, shuddering and moaning loudly as she climaxes. It looks intense to Cosima, who grins, moaning with her. She waits, lapping gently at Delphine before kissing up her body. Cosima hesitates, she should probably wipe off her face - just in case. But Delphine has pulled her up into her arms before she can.
"Wow." Delphine pants, looking up at her dazed, sheets messed up around them. Her hair is a glorious curly mess, and the way she looks makes Cosima want to duck her head back down.
Why stop? Cosima considers it, four orgasms isn't that many... but she's tired, more tired than she wants to admit. Her longer-than-desired period of celibacy pre-Delphine had hidden her decreasing stamina from her... How can she be worn out already?
"Not used to cunnilingus?" Cosima says it sadly, it's a shame. It makes her want to give more to Delphine. She licks her lips enjoying the taste of Delphine lingering in her mouth.
"It was never... like that." Delphine is grinning madly now, her hair completely mussed. Delphine leans into kiss her before hesitating, glancing down at her wet mouth.
"I can go wash up." Cosima volunteers abruptly, "If you're not comfortable with..." She grabs the sheets and wipes off her mouth quickly letting the red sheet drop the rest of the way to to the floor. Oh well.
"Non." Delphine tells her, dragging her in for a long kiss. She knows Delphine can taste herself, but she doesn't seem to mind. And when Delphine cradles her with her body, wrapping her arms and legs around Cosima, it's just so perfect.
Cosima tangles her fingers in curly hair, and kisses sweetly until Delphine stops her. Bringing her down slowly, easing off for the night.
"I should take blood samples before I fall asleep." Delphine pants at her, having broken the kiss, "You are wearing me out, ma chérie."
"Good." Cosima answers, "Blood samples? Like doing the draw yourself? But you're not like a medical doctor, are you?" This is news, unexpected.
"Yes." Delphine answers breathing heavily.
"With a PhD in immunology?"
Delphine nods at her from beneath her body, "Yes."
Cosima shakes her head laughing, "Did you have a personal life?" How lonely has Delphine been? Had that been her life? School and then DYAD?
Delphine simply shrugs, "I was very busy, and in Europe you don't need a master's degree for a PhD. Masters are for arts, PhDs for sciences... it's not as much school as you think."
"Yeah just bachelor's degree followed by med school and a PhD. Holy shit," Cosima laughs, "It took me ages to just finish my master's. I stopped and restarted twice. You are amazing, do you know that?" Cosima shakes her head again, she's not easily impressed, but Delphine... Easily her intellectual equal, but so much more... driven?
"Do you want me to..." Delphine lets her voice trail off, looking down at Cosima's lace underwear. What exactly is she offering? Her hand? Her mouth? Cosima doesn't want to start thinking about it - the mere suggestion of Delphine's fingers inside her makes her clench slightly, she shakes off the thought. She's tired, it's been a long day - Delphine is too tentative, not tonight. She can't even say it... that's not a good sign.
"No... not now... I need a little break." Cosima explains gently, hoping this doesn't offend more. She can feel the insecurity radiating off Delphine any time she tries to touch her. Cosima knows far too well that this is her fault. For catching her hand and pulling it away, for telling her 'it showed'.
Delphine nods, "Alright. Blood samples it is."
"Umm okay. Should I throw a shirt on?" Cosima points at her own bra and underwear.
"If you want... I'll go get my bag." Delphine stumbles off the bed, Cosima looks over in satisfaction, seeing that Delphine is not quite steady on her feet as she throws on a sweater from her bag and digs for medical equipment. She's suddenly reminded of the truth of the situation. Could Delphine have done blood draws on her by herself? While she slept? Was that the plan? She wouldn't need a team in her apartment to do that.
Cosima gets to her own feet, searching for her own clothes, a blue shirt to throw back over her head. It's cold in the loft, and she doesn't want to feel that vulnerable.
Out of bed, she remembers again. Delphine works for Leekie. Monitoring her for DYAD. The patent and barcode in her DNA. Shit.
**
The blood draw finished, she's tugged Delphine down on the bed again. She pulls the sweater off her shoulders, just the black bra in her way now. She wants Delphine naked, bare to her. She's fucked Delphine, but she's still never seen her breasts.
Cosima runs her fingers along the straps, "Do you not like having them touched?" Is that it? She asks, wondering. Could she ask for Delphine to take it off if she promised not to touch? Not to take them into her mouth? Not to stay stuck on there all night?
"Quoi?" Delphine's brow furrows again, "You can touch anything you want."
Cosima smiles, reaching her hand behind Delphine and quickly unclasping the bra, pulling it off and tossing it aside revealing pale pink nipples and round firm breasts.
Cosima grazes the side of a breast with her hand, stroking deliberately, teasingly. She dips her head to take a nipple into her mouth briefly, releasing it before Delphine's hands push her away.
"What is it?" Cosima asks.
"Take this off." Delphine insists, hands pulling at the shirt she'd thrown over her head to keep warm during the blood draw. It lands on the floor on the pile of red sheets. Cosima pulls Delphine down on top of her, enjoying the sensation of her warm weight, her bare skin.
Delphine's hand slides slowly down her arm, testing her skin. She wonders for a moment if Delphine will try to touch her, if she'll let her... She catches Delphine's hand in her own, playing with her delicate fingers. Though, she notices that their hands are almost the same size.
"Do you not want to be touched?" Delphine asks confused.
Cosima shakes her head, "I do, but let's take this slower." She reaches back and unclasps her bra with the same hand. But it is Delphine's hands that guide the fabric off her arms, and toss it aside.
Delphine giggles, "Oh."
"What is it?" Cosima looks up at her, feeling exposed and more than a little cold.
"You're... they're smaller than I expected. Your breasts." Delphine clarifies, hands running over newly exposed skin, avoiding her rapidly hardening nipples.
"Push-up bras." Cosima admits with a grin, "Disappointed?"
"No, not at all." Delphine is looking at her, letting her eyes skim over bare skin, her tongue darts out subconsciously to lick her lips.
Cosima guides Delphine's hand over her breast, pressing it firmly against her body, "Do you want to touch me?"
"How?" Delphine's question is breathy, pressing her palm willingly into Cosima's breast.
Cosima shakes her head, "You're going to have to figure it out." Delphine has to want to figure it out, to try...
"I don't know how to please you." Delphine's voice is sad, almost desperate, and for a moment Cosima is worried that she's going to start crying again.
"You do please me." Cosima insists, "Everything we have done pleases me." She thinks of other things she could say - that she's so wet, so turned on, so delighted with this as is. Cosima thinks better of it.
Delphine is far too distraught over this, "I've never... you didn't get anything."
"I don't care." Cosima yanks Delphine in for a long kiss, pressing their breasts together, listening to her little whimpers.
"What should I do?" Delphine asks again, propping herself up above Cosima.
She thinks for a moment, "Cuddle and sleep?" Cosima offers finally.
"No I want to ... you must need..." Delphine bites at her lip.
"Here." Cosima adjusts guiding Delphine's thigh between her legs, "Press into me like that." It's easy, and kind of adolescent - but it would give Delphine a taste of what it's like. Of how much this does it for Cosima, of how much she does it for Cosima.
Delphine does as she's told, is she used to being instructed through sex? The idea seems strange to Cosima. She could instruct Delphine if she has to...
Delphine groans into her mouth, "You're so warm..."
"Yeah." Cosima meets her lips, urging Delphine to rock into her, "I'm too tired to really get anywhere... but we can do this for a while."
"Okay." Delphine breathes into her mouth, rocking gently, movements gradually slowing down as they both succumb to exhaustion.
Cosima wakes the next morning to find herself wrapped around Delphine like she's a human body pillow.
"Morning."
"Morning... I have to go. The DYAD event is tonight and I have to get ready."
"Okay." Cosima releases Delphine from her arms.
"Just think about coming with me. Please." Delphine takes a moment to grab her hand before stepping away to dress and gather her things.
"Okay. I'll think about it. But... I don't think..." Cosima lets herself trail off. Things are complicated again - least they're still alone in the loft... she better get dressed herself and at least throw the sheets back onto the bed.
She finds herself watching Delphine get dressed, grinning at her. Yeah, she's screwed, Cosima admits silently to herself.
"Do you want me to like call you a cab?" She offers hopefully.
