Part 1: Eli's P.O.V (We're Having a Baby, My Baby & Me)
He was tired. For the past two weeks, he had been working extra hours and days lately, ever since he found out he was going to be a father. It was like nothing else mattered to him other than not being a deadbeat dad and earning Clare's trust back…and love. No, he reminded himself. This wasn't about them and their relationship right now, because this was about their future and the baby. Not the status of their unending relationship that they both couldn't seem to move on from. He knew she loved him, and he knew she knew he loved her. But right now? That was all in the clouds. He needed to prove he could be in his son's life and not be a total dick head.
"Hey there,"
He looked up to see the face of a smiling Clare Edwards in front of him. He wouldn't like to admit it, but his heart did skip a beat when he saw her. Just like it always has.
"Hey there, Baby Mama!"
He shooked his head as he saw her face waver a bit. She did not like being called that, and truthfully he didn't like it when he called her that either. It just felt too off and uncomfortable.
"Ok, then."
And that was the end of their conversation. She sat down on a booth next to him, and took out her books to begin her homework. She pulled out her headphones and put on her music from her phone. It was still awkward to talk to her, and actually hold a conversation with her that didn't involve the baby. Neither of them knew how to go about it. He had spent a month of ignoring her calls, texts, and her whole appearance. He didn't know how to just go back to suddenly being the closest person to her. He wasn't the closest person to her anymore… that was Alli. For a while there, it was Drew Torres. But she hasn't mentioned him once other than when Alli asked her while they were both here if she had talked to him. A quiet no was all she said about the matter. He never asked her how she told Drew, and how Drew reacted.
He was scared to ask her though, because he knows even with Drew's unwavering patience he was told so much about, that he wouldn't be okay with the idea that the baby he thought was his, wasn't. He looked up at Clare who was currently writing something down in her journal when he noticed it was her personal journal. The one he stole the one that probably still held the Jake portion of her life when she wanted to…
He had to stop thinking like this. Clare has had her fair of relationships, and affairs, but she always came back to him. It was always him in the end, and it would always be her in the end.
"Hey, um…my mom wants to know if you would like to come for dinner tonight after your shift, to know, um…get reacquainted." She was looking up at him with a sad smile as she invited him out. He understood what that meant. That she still wasn't sure about him, or her mother, and wasn't sure how this whole dinner would play out. She was still so easy for him to read when it came to her family.
"I'd like that." Was all I was able to say before the after school rush came in flooding the dot with a whole batch of new and some familiar faces from the halls of Degrassi.
(After his shift)
"So my mom hasn't been feeling her best lately, so she took up yoga. So if she starts going on about being a yogi. You'll know why. Also Jake is out of town right now with Glen. So it will be just you, me, and her. Glen and my mom haven't been getting along, but not like fighting. More like Glen is always doing his thing without consideration for my Mom. But she's learning…I think."
We were walking down her street; coming up to her house, and it was actually pretty funny at how she had been rambling about her mom since we left the dot. It was closing in on 8:30pm and I knew how her mom hated Clare being tardy for anything at home. But walking with Clare and hearing her talk, it was something I honestly thought would never happen again. It almost felt like we were back in time, to a time where we both we're in a good place and together. No pregnancy, no betrayals or lies. Back when things were good.
"Clare, its fine. I think I know how your mom is by now. I mean I have had dinners there more than I can count now."
I had put my hands on her shoulders to calm her down, and it seemed to work, but then quickly I felt her tense up again.
"Ok, we haven't talked about it…but I feel like I need to tell you what my plans are for this upcoming year."
She looked terrified at what she was going to tell me. The last time we talked about her plans was at school before Drew interrupted us. She was deferring Colombia, and staying here to have the baby.
"What is it?" I knew what she was going to say was going to be a longshot from what I wanted to hear. That she was going to Columbia and we were going to be in New York and be together with the baby. But even I knew that was a far-fetched idea.
"I'm going to Ryerson in the fall. Part time, and I'm looking for some easy jobs, maybe office work, to just have a bit of money ready for when the baby comes after Christmas. And I don't want you to be mad with me. I made this plan after I found out it was your baby, and when I thought I was going to do this alone…"
She was speaking volumes and we had just reached the front steps of her house, before I could say anything. I didn't know what to say about it though. She made her decision about it all and was planning on going it alone. I mentally wanted to kick my own ass. I made Clare feel like nothing and alone in that one conversation we had. All because of my stupid pride was hurt. I had to change for the better, and prove to her that she wasn't going to go through this alone, and that what I said wasn't true.
"I thought I heard you two out here."
Before I could reply to anything she said, her mom was facing down on us in yoga pants and wearing a long sleeve shirt. Clare was right. Her mom went full on yogi.
"Hi, Ms. Edwards,"
I walked up the steps and hugged her mother, who hated me, but sort of became an ally to me when Clare had cancer.
"Hello Elijah. Nice to see you, been awhile. Hasn't it?"
I didn't miss the look she gave Clare, who at the same time pulled her bangs down. I smirked to myself away from Clare and her mom. So she does like me after all.
"Ok well let's not stand out here in the cold. Let's get inside you two."
Clare and I shared one final glance, and somehow it took me back to the moment when I first came over for dinner. Back when her mom was fighting with her biological dad, and she was using me to make them angry with her instead of at each other. I smiled at the memory a bit. We sat down at the dinner table, and nothing really changed inside the house, other than the people who lived in it. Clare was sitting across from me, where she usually sat, and I looked over to her. Our eyes connected, and in that moment, I knew I was still in love with the girl carrying my baby.
(KNOCK, KNOCK)
"Who could that be?"
Her mom had just finished putting the plates down on the table, and walked over to the door. Clare looked dumbfounded but was easily distracted by the food currently sitting on her plate. I looked at my plate, nothing special, just some chicken parmesan, but to her…it was like candy. Well…she was pregnant.
"Um…Clare, someone is here to see you."
We looked over to the door just in time to see Drew Torres standing by the door. He was in regular jeans and a plain white button up, with a tie. I hid my emotions well, but Clare not so much. Her face was a mixture of happiness and sorrow and a hint of anger.
"What are you doing here?"
In true Clare fashion, she got up and went to Drew, but not without throwing a glance to my direction first. I knew what was coming.
"Can we talk somewhere?"
Drew made brief eye contact with me, before focusing his eyes back on Clare. His face didn't show if he was angry, but it was a face of worry and hurt. Clare stood right in front of him, I wasn't sure what her face said, but I knew that she must've smiled or something. Drew immediately calmed down. I felt like I was witnessing something between the two that I shouldn't have seen.
"Why don't you two talk in Clare's bedroom?"
I looked up at her mom a little too fast. Clare must have made a face to, because she turned her head around.
"Lets's go outside and talk."
Clare spoke once and begins walking out the door with Drew in front of her. She stopped midway and looked up at me.
"Don't worry."
"I always will."
Clare's eyes lighten up a bit, and I almost thought she was going to say something, but she just nodded and walked out the door. I knew this was going to happen, I mean it had to eventually. We never talked more about what had happened between her and Drew, but honestly I couldn't do anything anymore. This was her thing, everything between Drew and I seized because of her. He wasn't going to hurt her by hurting me, and I knew I couldn't hurt Drew any more than I already did.
"Well why don't we catch up? How's NYU?"
I heard her mom speak up, I know Clare said not to worry, but I couldn't pay attention to anything than what was going on outside. But if this was going to work again, I would have to learn to trust her, prove to her I changed. I had to trust that this was all going to work. We both were going to have to work at it again. She's having my baby, she loves me, and I love her… But was that enough now?
