I got the idea for this fic after seeing sunyshore's deviantart picture of insane!Volkner. I mean, seriously, this guy is fucking nuts when he looses. So, thank you so much, shunyshore for that awesome picture and for the translated quotes you posted on . Which you should visit. Right.Now.


This Paralyzed Feeling

"Volkner of Sunyshore City! I, Dawn, challenge you!"

The blonde looked up in mild surprise at the dark haired adolescent standing a little ways from him with a determined look on her face. It wasn't often that he faced challengers—and it was quite rare, on any occasion that any of said challengers would beat him. But this girl—Dawn, was it? Volkner studied her features carefully but not intrusively. Yes, she had to be the one he had heard about, the girl who had taken down team Galactic and had breezed through the preceding gym leaders. While he himself was skeptical of her celebrated talent, he continued to be wary.

"As the leader of Sunyshore Gym, I, Volkner welcome and congratulate you on your recent victories." He greeted, though his tone was less than friendly. But what could you expect?

"…" There was a pause from both parties, until Volkner decided to speak up. The sooner he was finished trouncing this girl, the sooner he could give himself the day off. "Shall we start this battle? Four on four." He declared to his challenger in a slightly irritated tone.

Thankfully, the girl nodded, the same determined look plastered on her face. "Go, Floatzel!"

"Jolteon, go!"

The bursts of light from either side of the field revealed Dawn's Floatzel, a sly looking two-tailed otter, and a yellow and white quadruped belonging to Volkner.

The blond quirked an eyebrow. Sending out a water type against an electric master? Maybe her generous reviews in the media were well deserved… Regardless, he decided to play on the offense and take her pokemon out as quick as possible. "Thunderbolt!"

"Floatzel, dodge! Use brine!" she ordered, the slick orange pokemon slipping out of the way of the burst of lightning just before it struck. Volkner's eyes narrowed in annoyance. Damn, that thing was quick. He refocused easily back onto the battle, but the burst of water had already hit Jolteon, the impact causing it to cry out.

"Jolteon, are you okay?" Volkner called out to his pokemon, who quickly stood up on all fours. "Jolt!" it declared, emitting small sparks around it's fur.



The rest of the battle had been up in the air. Dawn and Volkner were going back and forth with the advantage, as Dawn's well trained team seemed to actually prove a challenge to Volkner—who was loving it. The both of them were too absorbed in the heated battle to significantly notice the gym leader's attitude change. His orders were more passionate, and he responded accordingly when his team took a hit.

"This guy…he is my final shot at you!!" the gym leader hollered, his final pokemon, an Electivire materializing on his side, roaring thunderously at Dawn's summoned Empoleon. As the two duked it out, their skill seemed to be on par. Which Volkner seemed to greatly enjoy from the wide grin he held, eyes ablaze as he commanded his pokemon.

"Yes, yes!! This-! I can't stand this paralyzed feeling! Ahahaha! This battle—this battle is shockingly wonderful!!" he cried, passionately absorbed in the way Empoleon was laying the smack-down on the poor Electivire.

Dawn looked surprised as she recalled her Empoleon, but not just for her victory. She was more concerned for the Electivire who was collapsed in a defeated heap on the field, his trainer holding his stomach in laughter.

"Ahahahaha t-that was amazing!! Stupendous!! Yo-you ehehehe!! Wahahaha! O-oh!! This feeling!! This passionate, shocking feeling coursing through my body!! Heheheahahaha!!"

Dawn paused. Was this the same Volkner who had looked at her scornfully at her challenge?

"Um, Mr. Volkner, maybe you should…your Electivire…" she gestured towards the unconscious pokemon, unable to tell whether he was paying attention to her or not. Amidst his spastic laughing fit, the blond rushed out onto the field, seizing the injured pokemon with zeal.

"Y-you lost! So badly!! Magnificant, ehehehe!! We got our asses kicked! Wahahaha we suck so much!! You're so injured, amazing!! Ahahahaha!!"

"Um…" Dawn looked around nervously for any gym assistants, but found that she was alone. Her eyes were drawn back to the hysterical gym leader.

"…so awful!! Oh man, you got your ass handed to you!! T-this feeling!! Wahahaha, I'm so happy!! It's—eheheahaha we lost!!"

Screw the beacon badge for now, she'd get it tomorrow after Volkner checked into rehab.


Okay, I know, this is an abomination. I made Volkner totally ooc, but hell, the bastard is ooc.