In bold - Not Deadpool nor OP.

Normal text – OP/Inner voice 1

[Voice] – Inner voice 2

{Voice} – Inner voice 3

For an idea on what the voices are/sound like, here's a small clip: www. youtube watch?v=AgtLkTedcj0

-System Message-


Thank you for deciding to read Sword Art Online: Deadpool.

I thought it would be a good…. Wait what..? gets punched off his chair.

''Hello folks, Your favorite neighborhood mercenary Deadpool here! Glad you'll be able to see me in all my glory in this amazing story by this third-rate hobbyist author.''

[Not sure what he was expecting when he decided to have us in his story though]

{But he is sure as hell going to regret it!}

''While my pal is trying to get up on his feet, I'd like to say that the reader's discretion is advised. This boy is not a native English speaker, so please give him a bit of a chance. Everybody's got to learn, right?''

[As long as he makes it somewhat understandable.]

{It's all fine by us}.

''Everything you are about to read comes from source material such as The Amazing Deadpool game, movies and more. What else should I mention…? Oh yeah, the story is T-rated or M-rated, for some reason. It switches every now and then, so he can't really pick one. What was your reason again?''

[It probably has something to do with us.]

{But we have no strings attached to us.}

''I understood that reference!''

[And I understood that one]. Deadpool gets pulled out of the chair.

Well, that escalated quickly. Anyway, hope you all enjoy the story of Sword Art Online: Deadpool.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sword Art Online or Deadpool. All are owned by the respective owners.

Warning: ''This is a parody of the story of Sword Art Online. As such, pay no detail to the logic in this story, since… well… I'm in it.''

[Enough said.]


With a miraculous flash of light, a tornado pulled the red-pyjamaed hero, known as Deadpool, out of his room and threw him with tremendous force into a world unbeknownst to the Merc with a Mouth. For whatever reason, Deadpool, who had his pants and underpants off before the whole event even occurred, found that the tornado had conveniently decided to take those as well.

With great velocity, the red-pyjamaed mercenary was launched against one of the buildings of the Town of Beginnings, only for a message reading -Immortal- to pop up in front of him, his pants and underpants, thankfully, back on his body, where they belonged.

''Where are we?'' Deadpool muttered to himself. ''And who the fuck are you?''

[Let's see. Tornado, an "immortal" pop-up-window, a seemingly medieval town and way too much information in our sight.]

{And way too many colors!}

''We're in Neverland!''

[Try again.]

{The Wizard of Oz?}

Without a clue as to where the tornado had brought him, Deadpool decided to walk into the city itself. It was when the large clock came into sight, in the form of what he would later learn was the HUD, that it showed a blinking 12:00. Lights began to form, surrounding him.

''So this is a HUD? Thanks, buddy. Guess I'll call you OP from now on. Oh, it's so beautiful!'' The Merc with a Mouth gasped, holding his hands out in front of him.

[Sparkling lights, all around us...]

{This must be Disney!}

Without confirming that statement, the player walked towards the lights and quickly became disappointed when other players appeared from the lights before he could even touch them.

''Maybe they know where we are because this bastard, OP, isn't giving us any signs.''

[Hey! Maybe ask that astoundingly beautiful boy over there first.]

{No homo.}

With that said, Deadpool made his way towards one of the players in front of him.

''Excuse me, little fellow. Got any clue as to where we are?''

''Nani o itte iru?''

[What was that?]

{Must be French.}

''Sorry, I don't speak pretty boy… goddammit OP! Change the script dammit!''

Having no intention of doing so, Deadpool decided to look around the plaza instead. Several spawned players had done an interesting - ''Just say ridiculous," - sweeping motion with their right fingers.

Following their example, the mercenary decided to do the same, only to see an unfamiliar script appear before him. Little did he now that it was, in fact, the Japanese language.

''One moment you're helping me, the next moment you're ignoring me. Make up your mind, OP!''

[So, this is Japanese?]

{Now, how can we change it to English?}

''OP, how do you expect me to stay here if I don't even understand this jibber jabbish?''

[Is that even a word?]

{It is now.}

Suddenly, the merc noticed an orange line forming around one of the options before him and when he pressed it nothing occurred, much to his dismay. It was when he repeatedly pressed it, jabbing his finger at the window again and again, the system finally responded.

''For a game, the servers are a little too laggy,'' Deadpool stated when he finally reached the settings for language and everything before him shifted into the familiar language of English. He then realized what he had uttered only moments before. ''Wait, so, we're in a game?!''

[Better be a good one.]

{Maybe God of War, or Dynasty warriors?}

''Since when is Dynasty warriors a good one?'' the red-pyjamaed merc asked. For no obvious reason, a sudden harsh wind attacked his front, almost blasting him off his feet.

''Fine, fine, I guess it isn't that bad. Now, if you say the same about Destiny, I am going to wreck you.''

[Watch out, butthurt players incoming.]

{We have nothing to do with it.}

The wind settled down and Deadpool looked around again. After all, he still had yet to find out where he was, and his monologuing wasn't helping him one bit. With that in mind, the man made his way towards, what he believed was, another hunk of a boy {again, no homo} and cleared his throat.

''Hi kid, have any idea what this place is?''

''How do you not know? This is the world of Sword Art Online, red-pyjamaed idiot.'' The boy stated before rushing along with his friends, getting away from the weird-looking merc.

''I am going to ignore that insult and think. Sword Art Online, what was it again?''

[I think I've heard of it somewhere before.]

{Of course, you know them. It was that series with Kirito and Klein.}

''Kirito and Klein? Who are they?''

[Jesus-kun and Ballsdeep69]

Suddenly, the mercenary knew fully well where he was. ''Jesus-kun! So I'm stuck in a world because of a mad scientist, who doesn't even know why he created it, and a teen with family issues?''

[Probably.]

{But we weren't even in the show. How did we end up here?}

''That son of a …. '' Deadpool wanted to say, but his last word was bleeped out. ''He made us stuck in a reboot of the original show. And what are you bleeping that out for?! Thought this story was T/M-rated?!''

[It was probably because you wanted to insult his mother.]

{That bastard!}

Due to a monologue that went for way too long, the time on Deadpool's HUD had already reached 15:00. If he knew the script, he would've known what would happen after that.

''Of course, I know the script. Now, first, let's see if this story has the same script. Ah yes, the log out button is gone.'' The merc stated, performing that ridiculous sweeping action with his hand again to see the option not available in his menu.

''Told you it was ridiculous! Up top, Man!''

When the merc was left hanging for what was a good ten seconds, he decided to let it drop again and shifted his attention to his menu.

''What was this story about again? Where is Jesus-kun when you need him?''

[Training his new and only friend on the outskirts of the city.]

{Should we visit them?}

''Hell yeah! But where is he?'' Another unexplained wind popped up from behind him and pushed the merc to what would be his left.

''Guess we go that way.''


In a simple hour, the Merc with a Mouth finally reached the destination where the two players were training. It seemed the red-haired player had finally defeated his boar, his cry one that could only be described as one of a happy child.

''What was that description, OP? It was more like a roar of a man, proud of his accomplishment, than that of a child. Especially as a side character.''

[You don't know that.]

{Maybe he is the main character in this story.}

It took only a second before the merc entered a state of uncontrollable laughter and it took him another two full minutes to snap out of it, but not before drawing the attention of the two players in front of him.

''Can I help you?'' the black-haired boy asked.

''Ah yes, ….''

[Why is he bleeping the whole sentence?]

{Maybe we're undercover?}

[In that case, play the part!]

''Ah yes, I saw you two pretty boys attacking that wild monster and I was wondering if you could help me with some basic things?'' Deadpool continued, attempting to act naive. ''You know, since this amazing game has no tutorial or such.''

''Sure… why not? I'm Kirito by the way.''

''I'm Klein.''

[We entered the wrong story.]

{OP, you had one job!}

''Sir Deadpool is the name. You must have heard of me.''

''Nope. Awesome outfit though. Where did you get it so early in the game?'' the puzzled red-haired pirate, Klein, inquired.

''Let's just say, it's a gift from a friend,'' Deadpool smiled, leering strangely around him as he tried to follow an invisible camera before eventually shifting his attention back to the two players in front of him.

''Anyway…. let's get back to the training. What is it you want to know?'' The black-haired swordsman asked.

''Everything. I haven't got a single clue on how this game works.''

Kirito, better known as ''Jesus-kun'', had his work laid in front of him as he began to explain to both players what all of the mechanics in the game were for. It was for that reason, the Merc with a Mouth came to the understanding that another thing had happened to him that was unique in the game of Sword Art Online.

''You have got to tell me where you got those skills…'' Klein insisted as he saw the Merc with a Mouth teleport from one place to another and pull weapons from out of, basically, thin air. Both skills of which were granted to him by his first two skill slots:

-Teleportation, 100/1000-

-Magic Satchel 1/1000-

''These skills were not even there in the beta…. Where did you get them?'' the black-haired swordsman asked, bewildered.

''What can I say? I have generous friends.'' The merc stated, still trying to find that damn camera.

While Deadpool was examining and abusing the living heck out of his two skills, throwing all of his level 1 weapons at the boars until they were buried under them, the two players behind him shared a familiar moment, known by anyone that read or saw the script of the original story.

''You are not even going to tell? Lazy OP, really…''

[It's not like it adds anything to story.]

{And we do?}

''Good point.''

It was then Deadpool heard the familiar sound of bells in the distance. ''Showtime!''


When the blue light around the Merc with a Mouth vanished again, he noticed he stood in the giant plaza of the Town of Beginnings, where thousands of players….

''Yeah, we know that already! Stop telling the reader what they know and get to the good part!''

[You know what's going to happen now?]

{Of course not, he fell asleep during the first episode.}

''Can you blame me? Only people who had no idea what was going to happen were thrilled to see it. I hope Kayaba at least makes some movie references.''

[That would be nice.]

{Don't count on it.}

''Where are those two anyway? This plaza is actually really big when you think about it…''

While the merc continued to converse with his inner thoughts, he realized, for the first time, the size of the world of Sword Art Online, watching as the sky turned red with system warnings and a red-coated spirit appeared amongst the chaos.

''Welcome to my world, players. I am Kayaba Akihiko. From this point on, I am the only one who controls this world.''

''Did you just copy that from your other story?! Damn, I have never seen a lazier writer in my life.''

[Lazy, but clever.]

{Why type things twice when you have them on speed dial?}

''Again, good point. Now, let the movie references come!''

Unfortunately for the merc in red, the giant shadow of Kayaba Akihiko was not planning to do such thing. Not being able to skip this part of script either, Deadpool tried to summon a gun out of thin air and shoot himself in the head, only to be disappointed this world had no such weapons at its disposal.

''Again, wrong world, OP. Next time, spawn us in GGO.''

[Then we'd have some time for some rock and roll.]

{And to shoot the living crap out of everyone without breaking the law.}

''I have a gift for you all. Please check your inventories now.''

''Stop with the copying, you lazy bastard! Yeesh.'' With a disappointed look on his face, the merc opened his inventory and materialized the item in his inventory.

''Ah, yes, the mirror. Everyone's favorite moment of the game.'' The merc stated sarcastically before lifting a bit of his mask off, only to see his ugly skin from reality.

''No need to put it in those words, man. That hurts.''

Before Deadpool could say anything more though, a light enveloped him. When he looked at himself in the mirror again, his grip on it and the mask still tight, he could see his skin had changed from the earlier wrinkles to become smooth and firm, leaving no traces of the terrible decease that had once roamed his body.

''Wait, what? Was that in the original script?! I need a bigger mirror!''

Before Kayaba could even finish his breath-taking revelation on what this world truly had become, the merc was already making his way to the border of the plaza and waited desperately for the idiot Kayaba to finally finish that damn cutscene.

''You say it, OP.''

[Guess he's not so bad after all.]

{At least he gave us these powers.}

''And some goddamn smooth skin. I need to see the rest of it now!''

When Kayaba disappeared and the protective shield around the plaza vanished, the merc abused his teleportation skill yet again. He made it to the closest inn, hired a room and took a quick look at his body after pressing the -Unequip- button twice, leaving nothing to the imagination.

''You have a way of words, OP, I give you that much. Holy shit! I look like Ryan Reynolds.''

[Japanese Ryan Reynolds to be exact.]

{Doesn't matter. Love you, OP.}

''Even the dick is the same!''

[I think that was a bit too much information for the viewers.]

{Or not…}

With everything equipped again, Deadpool walked out of the inn, only to notice many players walking towards the north side of the city, where the borders of Aincrad were.

''Oh no. I don't like the way those words were written. Too heavy.''

[Like he's saying something terrible is going to happen there.]

{We haven't paid enough attention to the original story to know what's going to happen, did we?}

It was that moment a wind smoothly struck the Merc with a Mouth to his side, right in the direction where the other players were walking to.

''Guess we have to go that way. Would be easier if you just told me what I had to do instead of that wind garbage, OP.'' Another quick whirlwind lifted a mirror that was left behind on the plaza up before launching it at the merc's head.

''Alright, alright… Yeesh, a bit of a short fuse there. Nothing to be embarrassed about.''


Fifteen minutes later, the merc had made it as one of the first to the border of Aincrad.

''Aincrad! That's what this place is called! Forgot about that already. Thanks for reminding me, bud!''

[Bit of useless information.]

{But we have to reach that word quota, right?}

Approaching the border were the initial players that had made their way after Kayaba's retreat. There was only one thing on their mind at this desperate moment: to jump from the border of Aincrad into the abyss, which would be the last thing they see before leaving both worlds.

''Jesus Christ, man. I get it. Heavy stuff.''

[Well, you said he had a way with words.]

{Doesn't mean it's always the right kind of words.}

''Wait… is that why I'm here? To save these people from killing themselves?''

[And turning this world from a murderous game into a world you can actually live in.]

{Ah, that makes much more sense….}

Just kill them all!

''Wait, where did that voice come from?''

[Don't pay attention to him.]

{Yeah, he killed the Marvel universe ones. Guess that's not where OP wants to go with this story.}

While the merc had his internal conversation, the first player had already made his way as close to the edge as he could stand. He closed his eyes and slowly leaned forward, until his feet left the ground and he fell into the endless sky below him.

''Fine, but just because you made me look good. Skadoosh!''

[Ah, a Kung Fu Panda reference.]

{Never gets old.}

[Guess no one is going to understand that one.]

{Well, you got to love the Wuxi Finger Hold.}

With the speed of his teleporter skill, Deadpool appeared next to the player falling, grabbed him and teleported back to the surface. When three other players tried to do the same, he jumped after them as well, teleporting them back to safety.

''Oh yeah! Hero Deadpool to the rescue!''

''Hero? Why stop us from falling then… and what was that skill anyway?'' The first boy asked, bewildered and annoyed.

''Now I see why Spidey is so edgy sometimes. People are just so stubborn and ungrateful.''

''Look, I don't know who you are, but get the hell out of my way!'' the boy now thundered before the red-pyjamaed, self-proclaimed hero. It was at that moment Deadpool pushed the boy down and spoke to everyone present.

''Okay! Everyone feeling just as stubborn and determined as this boy to die can come in front of me. I will do the act for you freely and quickly.''

The players in front of Deadpool looked at him with terrified expressions, not knowing what to say or do.

[Was that a bit much?]

{We made a pizza-delivery guy piss his pants for stalking his ex. Guess we are still in the safe zone of acting.}

[How does that fit here?]

{Because, ''insert alien guy meme here 'Anime Logic''}

Eventually, one boy spoke, still with wide eyes, as the despair on his face was only strengthened by the emotion system of Aincrad.

''Sir, do you want to kill us?''

''No, of course not. But yeah, it's that or watch you fall down an endless pit of misery, having only witnessed the start of what you tried to escape before dying. Now, you can do that as everyone in the real-world cries over your death, which is very certainly not a lie like that fucking piece of garbage, Kayaba Akihiko, spoke about. Or, you can wait until someone saves us from the outside or someone completes the game, while you enjoy a situation millions of weebs dream about.''

[Language.]

{M-rated, captain.}

The boy before Deadpool stared at the ground at those words so casually preached by the in-red-hull player before him, tears rolling down his face.

''How can you dream of a world that kills you?''

''Don't know. Some people just do. Now, stop trying to kill yourself, get back to the city and try to enjoy the endless possibilities of virtual reality. From what I've heard, everything is so easy even a child could do it.''

[I believe that is the point of the game.]

{Isn't Jesus-kun a child too?}

[Yes, but he's Jesus-kun.]

{Good point.}

While the players in front of him gave up on throwing themselves over the ridge because of a simple talk and ''for the plot'', the mercenary in red had other things on his mind.

''That's right. We've still got to find Jesus-kun. Nice reference to my comics by the way, OP. Must be a fan.''

[Or just someone that found them on the internet while trying to understand our movies.]

{Well, it's something.}

A sudden message in his HUD drew the attention of the merc-in-red as he shifted his attention to the flashing - ! - in his HUD. When he pressed it, his quest log was updated, containing the following quests;

- Clear the hundredth floor of Aincrad –

- Save as many players as you can –

- Find a recipe for chimichangas-

{Oh, chimichangas!}

Under the quests also read another message in a bright red color;

- Warning. Being killed in this world results in eternal torture in a world of cows. –

''You son of a ….! And stop bleeping that shit out!''

[Well, at least we know what to do.]

With those last thoughts, Deadpool ventured into the darkness of the lands, his overpowered abilities of basically 'Unlimited Blade Works' and teleportation at his disposal.


Author note:

Well, that was it for chapter 1. Bam!

''Seriously, leave the talking to me. That first sentence was already boring as hell.''

''As my boring pal was saying, this was the amazing start of my story of this well animated, but poorly executed due to some lack of source material, anime. Now, time for your friendly neighborhood mercenary to change that, right?''

''Also, this is just the start of a series of my shenanigans. If everyone likes it just the way this amazing bastard here likes it, follow or favorite this story and leave a review in the comments. Please, no hate, because the boy already has a lack of confidence. Just constructive criticism and love. Well, that was all. Kisses, Deadpool.''

Seriously, what have I incurred myself to... Anyway, that was chapter 1. Thank you Fate-of-Wishes for beta reading this. Hope you legends enjoyed it and hope this story gets enough love for me to continue it.

Beyor out -