I Wonder...
I wonder if that dream is real. That dream where I watch you die in front of me because of my foolishness. That dream where I can only watch in horror in the pain you suffer. That simple memory where the echoing voice of my father haunts us both before I wake up and I see you there, greeting me with that giant smile with your sister by your side.
I wonder why have I been sent back, the reasons confuse me. I've heard them before but they never make sense. I can't remember if this is the first time I've travelled back in time to meet you all over again. I can't remember that every time we meet, it will be you that I fall for. I can't accept that one day these hands you hold onto so dearly will be covered by your blood one day.
Yet, despite the warnings you hold onto me as if I was the heart that is keeping you alive, thing is am I not your heart but the knife that is slowly going through you, cutting your life shorter and shorter as time moves on.
I wonder what is going through your mind. Are you scared? Are you nervous? Are you doubting the bond we have now? I cannot blame you, if I ever were to walk in your shoes I wouldn't be alive. I would use my common sense to prison me a criminal - a repeat offender.
So that day comes where it just us two again, I remember this scene well. I've play this part over and over again. You speak words that 'this is it' and 'this is the final battle' and 'your one of us'
No I am not. My friends, my children and even you. You do not carry the burdens of a killer. You are heroes, am I nothing but your killer. Your wife that will end your life. Our daughter will never forgive me and our son will be forever left in a puddle of confusion. Your memories together have been cut short once again.
I wonder how you can hold onto my hand so tightly as we run down the path with our weapons in another. I wonder how can you have so much confidence despite the warnings our own child have given to you. I wonder how you stood up for me that day where our child pointed that blade right at me.
You truly are a hero. My hero.
So those words play in my mind as I watch my father speak his last words before that dreadful attack heads for you. Careless fool, you are saving your killer. My hand presses on his chest and I save him once again and the attack hits me, his voice screaming out my name.
And I awaken only to greet you with a painful bolt through your chest. Then I see your eyes again and no matter how many times I see them the pain is never less. As the voice of my father fades I hold you in my arms so tightly.
I wonder how can you speak like I never hurt you - killed you as your blood stains my hands once again. I wonder that no matter how many times I reply this scene my tears are never less. I wonder why you keep on smiling even if the pain tells you not to.
I hear you speak words to tell me to run; to save myself. I want to speak that I don't want too because I'll just wake up on that empty field where you found me and our love story will start again. You'll hold on my hand so tight and pull me onto my feet. I speak your name and wonder how I know. We fight side by side and fall in love. We have our first child and later discover we soon bare another.
And then we'll end up here again and again.
I wonder how I can feel this way as the warmth of your body starts to fade away like a flame on a candle. It is burning so low; it is now dull. I am seeing nothing but the darkness where I was made; born to do. I wonder why it had to be me, returning back in time again and again to meet you and we'll have our journey.
Soon you are nothing but a silent man who till the day you breathe your last breath you hold onto my hand so tightly. I sit here wondering, with your head on my lap and your hand holding onto mine so deeply, wondering why you love me.
Time is cruel and as soon I shed my last tear and my eyes open wide. I am back on that field. I don't know how I ended up here - I just did. Suddenly I am faced with two strange people that looked like siblings. A handsome man offers his hand and he pulls me to my feet and I get lost in those stunning sapphire eyes of his.
I wonder how I know your name, as if I've done this before. I wonder how you can be so comfortable by my side as your brown hair man friend gives me looks that could kill. I wonder how you can be so confident as we fight together in a small burning village as I show you my powers of able to use magic.
I wonder if I hurt your family would you still like me? I wonder if I cause conflict between your friends will you still be by my side?
I wonder if a day ever came that I ended your life, would you still love me? I see your lips produce a soft smile and I couldn't help but smile back. Your confidence shines through and your love is infectious. I didn't need to hear his answer as his smile was enough.
I didn't need to wonder no more, I knew that no matter what happened, even if we never ended up together he'll be there, like always.
A/N:
I got this idea from you know, that flashback at the start of every new game you play. That flashback where the MU kills Chrom and later on nearly does the same to him again. What if there was some sort of loop and that kept on happening again and again? How would Robin feel? What's worse is that she wouldn't remember all of this until she's done her deed.
Ahhh the feels. I really don't like thinking about it. It hurting my OTP too much. Anyway I hope you enjoy this short read. This was meant to be in a group on tumblr but the user kinda...went offline so I thought I'll upload it to my account so more people can read it.
~midnight
