Ara tossed her coat onto her bed and slipped down the hall. She still walked like a soldier, but no one here gave her a second look, and wouldn't even if she was banging pots against the wall and screaming. She might as well have been invisible, and often felt as if she really was.

She moved on to the large dining room, and peeked in and saw that it was empty…again. She let out a bitter laugh. She didn't know why she let herself believe he might actually be there.

Adex wasn't a bad brother, he was her only brother. In the beginning they had talked and laughed. He had taken her on tours, and gave her something she wasn't used to having. Love. But now…now he was just busy. He didn't do it on purpose, she understood that, but it had been five years of this.

She was taken care of, free to roam. There was always enough food, and she had a warm bed to sleep into every night…but she had no one, not really. He would show up later, apologizing, and she knew he meant it. She knew that he loved her, that he was happy she had chosen to stay. But he was this big important guy, he was running a planet…and she was just the little sister trying to stay out of his way.

So she walked into the dining room, and took her seat. Food was put in front of her, and it smelled wonderful, but she wasn't hungry. She was bored…and so very lonely.

"Please eat, Ara," she heard Adex say.

She jumped and looked at him. She thought maybe he was finally going to share a meal with her. She was hungry for conversation.

But he was holding files, and looked so weary he could barely stand. He smiled at her, and she tried to smile back. He wanted so much for her to be happy, and she tried to be…to at least pretend when he had days like this.

Sometimes she wondered if he got lonely, or if he was just much too busy to even notice. She wished he would take a break…that they could go on a walk. Maybe have a party, she could meet someone to spend time with.

"You're not staying?" she asked, softly.

"I'm sorry," he said, almost a whisper. "I have this meeting…and…I'm sorry."

She nodded and he kissed her head and told her to eat again. She took a couple bites after he ran out, but she couldn't be bothered to do more. She moved back into the hall, and walked back to her room slowly.

Ara slipped inside and locked the door. She lifted the corner of her mattress and pulled out a worn picture. She looked at Tave's face and talked to him. She wasn't crazy, he couldn't hear, wouldn't answer. But it made her feel better, and sometimes…when she was at her loneliest, she dreamt of him.

But he wasn't the only one she was missing. She had trusted the Doctor to visit. Trusted that he would bring Rose and Jack back, and they could all catch up. For a long time, months and months, she thought if he did she would beg to go with him again.

But…he never showed, and she didn't know what happened. She knew that he loved Rose, and it was very likely after they walked away he had a chance to step back and realize that she was just getting in the way of that. They might be off married, seeing the universe. But she knew that his life was dangerous, and it was possible that something far worse that had happened.

She would rather she was just left behind, left here so that he and Rose could love, than anything bad have happened to them.

Ara tucked the picture back where it stayed when she wasn't pouring out her soul. She stared at the ceiling and thought about the people she had loved, and known for only a breath. Five years, and she realized he wasn't coming. She had made her choice, and it was to stay here, and walk away.

But on nights like this she still thought of the brief moment his lips had touched her, under the moonlight. Of the feel of his leather jacket, that she understood he wore to keep others out, on her skin. The way he smelled, and if she thought hard she could still remember. Warm and slightly sweet.

And she thought of Rose, and how she felt like the first real friend outside of Tave she had ever had. And Jack…sweet Jack. They had made her feel welcome, and she regretted walking away.

She sighed and flipped off the light. Her stomach growled, but she wasn't hungry. It was just protesting the lack of food. She rolled on her side, and realized she didn't care that it was too early to sleep. Her dreams were the only place she'd been truly happy in what felt like a million years.

DW

Donna had said no, and he closed the door slowly and sent himself to the vortex. She had invited him to dinner, but he couldn't go. He couldn't sit there and watch other people be happy, knowing that it was only a moment before he returned to an empty TARDIS. But as he flopped down on the jump seat, he wondered if that moment would have made this silence anymore painful.

Donna said he scared her, and he tried to act like that didn't hurt. And he hadn't even intended to ask her, not really. She was loud and rough, but she was beautiful and brave. She couldn't even see how amazing she was, probably because of those around her.

But now he was alone again, Rose gone forever. Maybe things would be better if there was no companion in his life. No risk meant less hurt. It might get lonely, but this emptiness after losing someone again was worse than lonely. It was agony, blinding screaming agony.

His stomach growled, and he tried to ignore it. He hadn't exactly been eating, spending most of his time figuring out how to get the message to Rose, and he had still wasted so much time that he couldn't even say that he loved her. And he had loved her, would always love her.

She had made him better, stuck with him though the worst. She was sometimes jealous, but he had always thought it was sweet. And now…just gone. Alive, which was much better than dead, but gone from him.

The Doctor sighed, his stomach refused to quiet and he padded his way down the halls with his hands shoved in his pockets. He didn't want to eat, but it wasn't going to let him go without. The kitchen was close, and he was thankful he didn't have to search. He grabbed a banana from the bunch and peeled it back and bit off a chunk and chewed.

He barely tasted, wanted to go to bed, but didn't want to dream. He wasn't even paying that much attention to his surroundings when a drawer popped open behind him and smacked him in the back.

"Oi!" he said and bunched up his brow and glared at the ceiling.

There was a slight hum change and he rolled his eyes and turned to close the drawer. Before he could do it though he spotted a picture in there, a picture of someone he hadn't thought of in quite a while. He pulled it out, and ran a thumb across the girl. Ara...he smiled to himself…just a little. It was the only picture he had of her, and Jack and Rose were there smiling back too.

He choked back tears at seeing Rose's face, and focused on the green eyed girl he had known those years ago.

He took it to the table and sat and thought. He had intended to come back, at least until they really started traveling again. But life sort of got in the way, and though he promised Jack they would return, it was a promise he never kept.

Then…well, Jack was gone, and he found a new face. And he realized that loving Rose was something he needed to do with all his hearts, and he just couldn't go back then. She was probably happier, he told himself the last time he thought of her.

He felt bad now, just letting her go like that. It had been the right choice at the time…but now…he just didn't know.

The Doctor laid the picture on the table and walked out of the room, heading to his bedroom. The silence was so deep, it made his ache all the more. He couldn't go see Ara, he just couldn't. He had a new face, and two freshly broken hearts. It wasn't her job to pick up the pieces.

Kicking off his shoes her fell face forward onto his bed, and didn't care to move. He closed his eyes, and his stomach growled again. He had left half a banana on the table by the picture. He thought if the TARDIS loved him, they would both be gone by morning.