Always a Peter, never a Pete

Neal was thinking it the entire time. While he was running towards the van to try to prevent Peter from being taken, when he was slamming Keller against the wall of the holding cell and when he was hacking the ring off of the statue in the park with Mozzie breathing in his neck. Was he perhaps a little bit too upset?

His behaviour was fine: he was doing everything to save Peter. He was convinced he would have done the same for Mozzie or Elizabeth and reasonably confident he would do the same if Diana or Jones got kidnapped. Perhaps he wouldn't have been so willing to sacrifice the ring, but he would have eventually given it up. Yet, the way he was feeling was disconcerting. The tightness in his chest wouldn't go away.

If Elizabeth had told him not to do anything, if she had asked him to let the FBI handle everything, he wouldn't have acted any differently. If Diana had not agreed to let him go he would have, well, not pushed her in front of a bus, but escaped somehow. Not that any of those ifs mattered, because, of course, everyone wanted to save Peter. Even the FBI was doing everything they could, despite their rigid policy, which Neal could kind of understand. Correction: he might have been able to muster appreciation for their policy under other circumstances. Not negotiating with terrorists was only sensible, but it rankled that they stuck to their rules when it came to Peter.

This was ridiculous. He was acting as if Peter wasn't an intelligent and resourceful man. Neal wasn't the only one racing to save Peter, because Peter could handle himself. Peter was trying to save himself too. Knowing him, he probably had a plan, he always did. So, instead of Neal rescuing Peter, they would simply meet halfway. Nonetheless, the suspense had nearly been killing him. Keller was a killer and he would have absolutely no qualms about ordering Peter's murder, so it was only natural that Neal felt this anxious. Yes, it was entirely warranted.

Asking for the phone number had been a stroke of brilliance on his part, if Neal said so himself, and trust Peter to have the presence of mind to compose a message. No transfer. Except they hadn't been able to stop the transfer and Keller had managed to escape. Almost giving up hope, Neal had been overjoyed when Peter had called. And Peter had asked for him. Neal had lost no time in instructing Peter how to break out of his prison, but Peter had been forced to hang up in order to follow his instructions.

That moment when they were all waiting for Peter to call back was perhaps the worst. His heart was doing some sort of crazy fluttering thing and Neal actually thought he might be having heart palpitations. Of course, Peter had called back. Neal didn't think he could have lived in a world where Peter Burke hadn't called back.

It had remained scary, because they thought Keller was on his way to Peter too. Arriving at the place, Neal had rushed inside.

And when he saw Peter all Neal wanted to say was 'Peter, Peter, Peter, I'm so glad I've got you back.' Why did he still call him Peter anyway? All other Peters that Neal had known had eventually succumbed and become Petes, but Peter just refused to become a Pete. It was patently untrue that all Neal wanted to do was say something. He wanted to hug Peter. He might even have wanted to kiss him. That was what was so disturbing. It was one thing to feel out of sorts if there was a very real possibility that your friend was about to be murdered, it was quite another to want to kiss said friend.

Either way, when Peter offered to let him keep the ring, Neal hadn't cared. The ring had kept Peter alive: it had served its purpose. Who'd ever have thought that he'd be so happy that an FBI agent, a suit, like Mozzie would say, was safely standing before him? Suddenly, Neal didn't mind that Peter had the remarkable habit to pop up at his apartment whenever it was least convenient. He didn't mind the goofy grins and the boasting about catching Neal Caffrey, conman extraordinaire. Because he loved Peter.

How else could he explain this unexpected disregard for what could have been Kate's wedding ring? It was time to let Kate go. It was perhaps not surprising that the man he trusted most had instantly taken her place. Or, if he was honest, Peter had replaced Kate quite a while ago. What was surprising was that his heart now belonged to a man, and a married man at that.

However, there was Elizabeth. She and Peter were made for each other. Come on, they loved each other so much that they couldn't even have proper fights. In Neal's book, any fight that ended with the two parties wishing each other a nice day wasn't a fight at all. They had that cute code speak too, with 'hon' meaning 'I love you, honey.' How much of a heartless bastard would he have to be to try and come between that?

Whatever else Neal might be; - bisexual as it turned out - he was not heartless. Peter's happiness could not be jeopardised. If that meant that Neal would always just be Peter's friend, then that was fine. That was acceptable. It hurt, but it was the right thing to do.

The end.