I look down at the little pink bundle in my arms and smile. I can see the soft wisps of blonde hair under the little cap on top of the baby's head. My baby girl, Emma Christine Kinney. I never thought I would have another child other then Gus. But when I got the call from the hospital in New York about my daughter, I knew it was all about to change. Of course, I was confused and thought maybe they had the wrong Brian Kinney but then the nurse that was talking with me, Nurse Kelley said that a Justin Taylor had been in the hospital for two months and went into labor just three days ago and gave birth to this beautiful baby girl. She also told me that last night, Justin had disappeared from the hospital and the only reason they knew to call me was because he had left one of my Kinnetik business cards in his hospital room. They had called as soon as it was late enough in the morning, which was good timing because I had just walked into the office.
I had always thought it was odd that Justin never came to Pittsburgh to visit in the seven months he was in New York. He also never allowed anyone to come and visit him in New York, but then again, how could any of us when he never gave us his address. None of us knew were he lived. We had his cell phone number and a P.O. Box to send him things and that was all. Nobody questioned it, at least not out loud. There was a part of me that wanted to drive up to New York and find him, but there wasn't much for me to go on to even find him.
When I found out that the last two months he has been in the hospital, I started the wonder why and the nurse had told me that she would explain everything to me once I got to the hospital to pick up my daughter. I told her I would be there soon and enlisted Cynthia to come with me. I left Ted to hold down the fort at Kinnetik until Cynthia and I could return. He didn't know what was going on and I wanted to keep it that way until I knew for sure what was happening myself. And for that fact, I didn't call anyone else in the family and tell them about Justin being in the hospital for the last two months or for the fact that he was now a possible missing persons.
Cynthia and I both returned home to pack for a night or two before she came and picked me up in her car. When we were leaving Kinnetic I was telling her we were going to be flying to New York but she stopped me and told me it would be better to drive if we were bringing a newborn back with us. I agreed and then she told me her car would be better then my Corvette and I instantly agreed with her so she ended up picking me up and driving us to New York with only two stopped for food and bathroom breaks. On the way, I ended up calling an old friend of mine that would be able to find Justin's apartment for me quickly. Why I never used him before, I don't know. Maybe I never thought something like this would happen.
We were in New York and heading for the hospital in no time at all. When we find the hospital, Cynthia drops me off at the front doors and goes to find a parking space. I head inside, not waiting for her and head for the nurse's station to ask where the nursery was located. Once I had the information I texted Cynthia as I headed for the elevators. It's not long before I find the nursery and peer through the window at all the newborns. Looking around, my eyes quickly scan over the names on the side of each portable crib until they stop on the one that said 'Emma Kinney' and I knew instantly that she was mine.
"May I help you, sir?"
I look up at a young nurse standing to my right. She was wearing pink scrubs with what looked like panda bears on them. Her honey colored hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she was smiling at me. I smiled back and nodded.
"I was called this morning about my daughter being left here. Um..."
Something seemed to click for the young nurse, "Oh, are you talking about Emma Kinney? The little girl that Justin Taylor left?"
I nod again and swallow the lump in my throat before I speak again, "Yeah, I'm Brian Kinney. Justin's partner."
The nurse seemed to frown as she said, "Mr. Kinney, it's nice to meet you. I'm Nurse Kelley, the one that called you this morning."
"Oh."
Just then Cynthia walks up behind me and stops. Nurse Kelley looks between us before turning back to me and smiling again.
"Why don't I get your daughter, I'm sure you'd like to hold her." She said and added, "And then I'll call Dr. Channing and Margaret Tate. Dr. Channing was Mr. Taylor's OB/GYN."
"And who is Margaret Tate?" Cynthia asks, seeing that I am going into some sort of shock.
"Ms. Tate was Mr. Taylor's therapist." Nurse Kelley replied, "He has been here the last two months and being treated by her."
"Therapist?" I am so confused, "Why did he need a therapist and why was he in the hospital for two months?"
"Ms. Tate and Dr. Channing will be able to answer any questions you have, Mr. Kinney."
The nurse walks around us and into the nursery. I watch as she maneuvers through the portable cribs until she has reached Emma. She carefully picks her up in her arms before she makes her way back out to Cynthia and I. I slowly take the baby from the nurse, freaking out that I am going to drop her. It's not the first time I've held a baby, I mean I use to hold Gus all the time and I've held little Jenny Rebecca a few times as well. I look down at her just as her eyes open and I can't believe how blue they are. They are more blue then Justin's if that is even possible. Cynthia and I were then ushered into an empty room which I quickly noticed was a staff room. We sat down at a table and the nurse left to go and call the doctor and the therapist so I could get my questions answered.
It's not long before two other women walk into the room. One in a white lab coat and looks much older with glasses. The other was younger looking, but not much younger then Cynthia and I and she was wearing a nice dress suit. I had handed over Emma to Cynthia so I could stand and shake both women's hands before we all sat back down again. The doctor and therapist across from Cynthia and I. Cynthia also introduced herself to the both of them.
"Mr. Kinney, I am sure you have many questions about your daughter and Mr. Taylor." Dr. Channing smiled at me, "But first I would like to say congratulations on your daughter. She is a healthy 6 pounds, 12 ounces and was 21 inches."
I nod, looking over at my daughter once more before turning my attention back to the doctors, "Why was Justin here for the last two months?"
"Justin has been my patient since he found out he was pregnant over six months ago. He would come in every other week for a check-up and once a month for an ultrasound." Dr. Channing started, "About three months into everything, I started to notice that Justin was looking more and more depressed. I suggested he talk to a therapist because it was adding stress to his body and was not good for him or the baby."
"Wait, I'm confused. I talked to him on the phone almost daily, he never sounded depressed." I tell them.
Dr. Tate nods, "It's normal for some depressed patients to pretend like nothing is wrong. Over the phone, they are able to act like they are fine but inside they are not."
"So he was pretending nothing was wrong because he didn't want any of his family and friends to know there was something wrong."
"Correct." Dr. Tate replied, "After Dr. Channing discovered that Justin was depressed and thought he should talk with someone, Justin agreed but never saute out help. Another month passed before Dr. Channing admitted Justin to the hospital after he had collapsed."
"He wasn't taking care of himself." Dr. Channing added, "I admitted him and got Dr. Tate to get him to talk. Help him through the depression."
"It was much worse then I had first thought his depression was." Dr. Tate added
"Worse how?" Cynthia asks, looking up from Emma.
"I was afraid he was becoming suicidal and because he was pregnant, we had to be extra careful."
"Suicidal?" I gasp, "No. Sunshine would never try and kill himself, let alone hurt his unborn child."
"I was able to help him through some things." Dr. Tate told us.
"Was it working?" Cynthia asked
Dr. Tate nodded, "It seemed to be and then three days ago Justin went into labor with Emma."
"She was delivered without eight hours and he named her." Dr. Channing said, "But he refused to look at her or hold her."
"He refused to hold his own daughter?" I ask.
Dr. Channing nodded, "Yes. He was here for three days recovering but last night when a nurse came in to check on him, he was gone."
"What do you mean gone?"
"He had just left. We checked with security and saw that he just walked out, got in a cab and left." Dr. Channing replied, "All that was left in his room was your business card on the bed."
"How did you know Brian was her father?" Cynthia asked
"Justin has already filled out most of the birth certificate and he wrote in Mr. Kinney's name as the other father." Dr. Channing told us, "But we would like to do a DNA test just to be sure."
"Of course." I nod, but I already know that Emma is my daughter.
"Do you have any idea where Justin could be?" Dr. Tate asked us.
I shake my head, "If I knew, I'd already have him by my side."
We talked with the doctors for a few more minutes and Dr. Channing had my blood drawn before she was paged and Dr. Tate had another patient she had to see. Nurse Kelley then returned to the room with a bag of diapers and formula and bottles for us and a car seat for Emma. Cynthia helped me get Emma into the car seat while I filled out anything else I needed to so I am able to take Emma home. We then had to wait for the test results to come back but as soon as that happened, we were able to leave with Emma.
Once that was done, we were on our way out of the hospital and just as we were getting Emma into the car, my phone rang. It was the guy I called about getting Justin's address. He gave me the address and then we were on our way. When we reached the apartment building, I was a little surprised to see that it was so nice looking. We all knew the apartment he had rented when he first moved to New York was not that great because he had refused to let me pay for it. He had told us about three weeks in that he had found a different place and had moved and that was when he refused to give us the address. I knew something was up then and I know I should have done something about it but I didn't. But I can't dwell on the past, I just need to be able to find Justin and fix whatever has happened.
We soon find the apartment number on the third floor of the building and knock. Cynthia is holding the diaper bag on her shoulder and the car seat with Emma in her hand. Emma had fallen asleep on the drive over. I was about to knock again when suddenly the door swung open and a young girl with reddish hair and glasses was staring back at us.
"Sorry, I guess we got the wrong apartment..." I start to say but am cut off.
"Brian Kinney?" The girl asks.
I nod but don't say anything and the girl just smiles sadly.
"I'm September Johnson. A friend of Justin's from Saint James." The girl quickly said, "You don't have the wrong apartment. Justin has been living here, come on in."
The girl, September, stepped aside and let Cynthia and I inside. She then looked down at the baby in the car seat and then back up at me.
"Is this...?" She pointed to Emma, "Justin's daughter?"
"Yes. Her name is Emma." I tell her, "Um, you wouldn't happen to know where Justin is right now would you?"
September frowned as she closed the door, "I haven't seen him in about a week since the last time I visited him at the hospital and I haven't heard from him in two days. Why?" She looked between Cynthia and me, "Is he okay? What happened?"
"That's what we're trying to find out." Cynthia spoke up, "It seems Justin had Emma a few days ago, then last night he disappeared from the hospital and nobody has seen or heard from him since."
"Oh, I didn't think his depression was that bad." September then gasped, "I'm sorry, would either of you like something to drink? Have a seat."
Cynthia sat the car seat on the coffee table and turned to September, "A water is fine."
"I'm good, thanks." I say, sitting down on the couch.
"He'll have a water as well." Cynthia sat down next to me.
September left and returned a few minutes later with three bottles of water. She handed one to each of us as she sat in the chair across from us. I opened my bottle and drank down about half of it before screwing the cap back on.
"When did Justin come to live with you?" I ask her.
"Oh, maybe a month after he moved to New York. I was talking with Daphne about needing a roommate to help pay for the rent and I guess she talked with Justin about it because then I was getting a call from him. It was settled and a week later, he moved in."
"Do you know if he knew he was pregnant by then?"
September shook her head, "No, it was another two or three weeks until he found out."
"He never told us where he was living after he had moved." I frown.
"He had told me he didn't want anyone to know he had been kicked out of the art program he was here for."
"what?" My head snaps up and my voice was a little louder then I intended because suddenly Emma was awake and starting to cry.
I unbuckled her from the seat and pulled her into my arms, careful to hold her head and butt. Cynthia dug around in the bag for some formula before she turned to September.
"May I use your microwave to heat this up for her?"
"Of course." September nodded
Cynthia then left the living room to fix the formula for Emma. Emma had settled down in the arms but she was wide awake now. Minutes later Cynthia had returned, checking the bottle on her wrist before handing it over to me. I started feeding Emma and just watched her but listened to Cynthia and September talking about Justin.
"How bad did Justin seem to you the last time you saw him?" Cynthia asked
"He seemed like he was getting better." September replied, "He was smiling and generally looked happy again. I thought he was finally looking forward to having the baby and getting in contact with Brian."
"He was going to call Brian?"
September nodded, "He said once the baby was born he was going to call Brian and finally tell him and move himself and the baby home to Pittsburgh."
"May I see his room?" I ask after Emma finished and I burped her.
"Sure." September stood
I hand Emma over to Cynthia and follow September down the hall. She stopped at the second door on the right and opened it. She then stepped aside so I could walk in. Looking around, there were things for Emma scattered around the whole room. The walls were covered in sketches that Justin had drawn of me, of the gang, of his family. Baby clothes littered the bed and dresser. A small bassinette stood at the end of the bed while a changing table sat by the dresser. There was a chest of toys as well.
"I helped him go shopping for all this just before he was admitted into the hospital." September spoke behind me, "Once he was admitted he told me to just put everything in his room until he could sort through it all."
I nod, "Would you mind if I take some things for her?"
"Not at all. Take whatever you need. There is a cabinet in the bathroom full of diapers and other bath things and the baby tub is in there too. Then there is a ton of formula in the kitchen."
I turn back to her, "Would you mind helping Cynthia pack up the stuff from the bathroom and kitchen while I work in here?"
"Sure. I'll bring you some boxes for the toys and clothes."
It took us a good two hours to get everything for Emma packed and outside where Cynthia had a trailer that we could hook up to her car delivered. I also had everything remaining of Justin's packed and ready to go because I was determined that once I found him, I was bringing him home for good. We packed everything into the trailer and some into the car. While I thanked September for her help and got Emma buckled into the car, Cynthia called Ted and told him we were returning tomorrow. We then set out to find a nice hotel for the rest of the day and the night before we started our drive home in the morning.
