Disclaimer: I bargained, begged and pleaded on my knees but Masashi Kishimoto wouldn't concede. Apparently, my version would not be suitable for kids. Enjoy! :)


"You guys are fucking assholes!" An upset blond reprimanded as he bopped four sets of heads, receiving four grunts of annoyance. "It's not even his first week and you guys are already making the poor guy's life a living hell!"

A brunet snickered as he dodged a second swat to the head. "Chill, Naruto. It's not like we're beating him up or anything. Just new fresh meat is all."

"Dammit Kiba! Stop moving and it's just not right! Why can't you guys be mature and just leave people be? The guy was fucking bleeding when I found him!"

"Like you're one to talk, dobe."

"Shut it Sasuke! I just do small things. You guys are going too far. It's a good thing I left my mp3 in the locker room. I don't want to know how you guys managed to turn off the entire lights in the gym or how you convinced the janitor to lock all the doors, but leaving the guy trapped and stealing his clothes and belongings while he took a shower is too much! I found him nearly unconscious by the time I got there! I don't know why I hang out with you guys most of the time."

"Aww blondie you bailed him out? Why would you do that?" Kiba asked disapprovingly as he looked trough the stolen bag. Naruto stuck out his tongue.

A hand slithered its way across the blond's waist as a weight rested fully on his back. "Now, you don't mean that, dobe."

A small shiver ran down the tan back as a warm breath tickled the nape of his neck. "D-damn straight I d-do," he countered albeit with much less conviction than before. Fucking Sasuke and his ability to render him to mere putty, but that did not mean he was going to overlook their actions. They were all going to receive a piece of his mind once regained his ability to think.

Kiba continued his search. "He's got nothing valuable in here. Guess you can't expect much from a scholarship kid."

Digging further in he scoffed. "Shit this guy still has a brick phone!" A pale hand stopped his rummaging. "Stop looking through his things."

The mutt raised an eyebrow, but obeyed either way. "You turning goody two shoes on me, Gaara?"

No response was given, ending the conversation. The brunet huffed. "Fine, be your socially retarded self on me! See if I care."

A guttural moan distracted him from his mad pretense. "Aww for fucks sakes, get a room you horn balls," Kiba smirked knowing far too well he was blatantly being ignored by the overly hormonal males.

Moving from Gaara's side, he sauntered over to Neji, who rested upon the front of Sasuke's Camaro. Grinning, he jumped and unceremoniously sat on the hood. Next thing he knew, he was holding his cranium in his hands, a pain jabbing at the back of his skull.

Neji smirked as he picked up the thrown object showing it to Kiba. He stared at it incredulously before he whipped his head back, glaring bullets at the Uchiha.

"DUDE! What the fuck is wrong with you!"

"Get off my car," the raven demanded.

The injured continued his screeching, still remaining on the vehicle. "You threw a mother fucking glass bottle at me!"

"Your point?" the Uchiha deadpanned.

"It's a glass bottle you jackass!"

"Good thing you're hard-headed," Sasuke leered.

"Go back to your make out session asshole."

"I intend to after you get off of my car."

Kiba grumbled as he slid off the hood onto the asphalt.

"Hey Gaara, got a stick?"

The red head said nothing as he pulled out three cancer sticks, keeping one to himself and throwing the remaining two onto Kiba's lap.

"Here, princess."

"Don't call me that you mutt," Neji all but growled–though he would never admit to doing such a barbaric act–as he took the offering. He waited until Kiba pulled out the lighter before leaning down and sucking in a puff, exhaling the heavy scented smoke.

"So onto a new one soon? I'm getting bored already," Kiba asked to no one in particular. Ever since they all started high school, by the middle of their freshman year the five friends formed their own small terrorizing group.

None of them found school to be worth their time. Either work was too damn easy even a dobe could do it–according to Sasuke–or everything just went in through one ear and out the other in Kiba or Naruto's case.

In order to pass the time, they committed small pranks to keep themselves entertained using inanimate or live subjects as their victims. Teachers had stopped caring and the principle deemed them a lost cause. Since all five came from the most affluent families, not much could be done when they threatened to stop the school funding if they kept meddling in their business. With free reign and little to no consequences the boys ruled the school to their hearts content.

Being a small school for selected individuals with wealth, it was rare to receive a new transfer student, especially one who was in through a scholarship in track.

No one answered the brunet's question. It was rhetorical, asked frequently by a fickle Kiba who knew it took a week to move on to the next victim.

"Hey Red, you're being unusually quite, even for you. Are you alright?"

"Hn."

"Right. Neji, translation, please."

The long haired brunet glared before closing his eyes and exhaling gray rings of smoke.

"Peachy."

Gaara sat on his motorcycle. No emotion, gesture, or movement was shown through his posture to indicate he was feeling peachy, but his thoughts were another story. Coffee creamed skin danced in his vision, etched to his memory as water, cascading down in rivulets, glistened the skin.

Gaara's job on the ruse had been simple. Go in. Steal clothes. Get out. Nothing complex such as a skein of interrelated plots of doom.

No one knew when he was going to be by their side until their heart attack kicked in, making him the perfect man for such a task.

That's exactly what he intended to do at first. He had no plans on seeing the body he deemed lanky the very first day he saw him. The uniform looked too big and sagged so much, he dismissed any possibility of the boy even sporting something decent beneath the immaculate garments–despite knowing the boy ran track.

He already had the bag of the guy's uniform and track suit, checking to see if there was anything left. He couldn't have the man hiding some clothing somewhere. It would defeat the whole purpose of the plan.

He was making his way out of the locker room when he heard a very distinctive humming. A soft yet reverberating melody encompassed the room, drowning out the sound of the shower for those extra seconds he lingered in the same spot.

He knew that song. The memory was vague, but he couldn't quite pinpoint from where he knew it. All he knew was that it was something he did not want to remember.

Unconsciously he found himself walking towards the sound, being as discreet as he could. Slowly he made his way to the entrance of the shower stalls, freezing right on the spot.

The male's back was to him, revealing a lithe, smooth back arching toward the hits of the perpetual stream. Round lascivious globes stuck out invitingly, begging to be squeezed, to be manhandled. Hands were brought up to message the shampoo covered locks, flexing long, toned arms of sheer perfection.

Gaara was hypnotized. Every movement was made with such grace, such fluidity, he lost the ability to blink. Never once had a man been able to enrapture him to such a degree where his jaw wouldn't close at his command.

He was thirsty all of a sudden. Too damn parched either of lust or water, he didn't know; he didn't care, but if licking off the drops from that caramel body quenched his thirst in both aspects, he was more than happy to indulge in his needs.

Slowly, he found himself approaching the unsuspecting raven, like a leopard zoning in on his pray. He reached out a hand to gain a much faster touch completely forgetting the reason for his venture.

As he came to the last few inches of proximity, he felt his phone vibrate. Annoyed, he snatched his phone out and clicked on Kiba's message.

Hurry the fuck up, dude. The lights are being turned off in a minute.

Inwardly cursing for forgetting why he was there in the first place, he made his way out as inconspicuously as he came in.

"Re~d. Hey red!" A tan hand waved from side to side in his direct line of vision. Gaara caught the wrist in a vice like grip, glowering at the idiotic brunet. "What do you want?"

"Geez, so snappy. We have a score to settle are you coming or what?"

Narrowed green eyes regarded Kiba with hostility before letting go of the appendage.

"Hn."

"Neji! Translation!"

Sasuke's patience crumbled to smithereens. "Yes, idiot. Now get in the car."

Running, Kiba cheekily answered, "Nuh uh. Until you wash you back seat I'm going with Neji. I don't want to smell or touch anything your bodily fluids landed on.

Putting on his helmet, all arousing thoughts vanished as he stirred his bike to life, making his way out of the school parking lot, a Camaro and Mustang on his tail.


Lee remained under the spray for a bit longer than usual. His muscles were pleasantly sore and stress was slowly ebbing away with the running water at his feet.

It was only his third day and already he was being messed with. Usually the taunts started later on, so this was a new record. He just wanted to come to the school–a blessing in itself to be coming in the first place–and start anew.

Unfortunately, life liked to throw a couple of rocks at him. He didn't mind though. On the contrary, the challenge to prove himself and overcome the obstacle was something he would face with his head held up high and his feet planted firmly on the ground.

Washing the remaining soap from his skin, he blindly reached for the shower knob at the exact same time the lights went out. His eyes widened as he found himself completely surrounded by pure blackness.

"H-hello? There is still someone inside. Could you turn on the lights?"

He was answered by no one. Only the sound of running water remained his only companion.

"Hello?" He called more loudly. "Guys this is not funny. Please turn on the lights!"

Nothing.

A sudden sense of nausea hit his body as he realized there was no one there.

He felt the room start to close in on him. Claustrophobia began to crawl its way into his system making it harder to breath. He needed to get out of there. He needed to escape.

Memories of those dreaded hours, days he spent cooped up flashed back like lightning. He couldn't recall how he got there. All he remembered were endless screams of desperation to be let out. The lack of air, food, sunlight.

"Help! Someone, please help me!" He ran forwards, desperate to get out, ignoring the slickness of the tiled floor. Just as he was blindly heading way to the lockers, his foot slipped, sending him flying forwards.

He fell with a resounding thud, hitting his head on the very ridge of the threshold. The impact seemed to echo in the darkness, resonating in harmony with the erratic pounding in his head as his memory manifested itself into his current nightmare.

His body was covered with droplets of water, making no distinction between what fluid fell from his form, but the unmistakable smell of copper and a warm trickle down his temple gave him enough assurance to say that he was bleeding.

He stood up hastily, ignoring the painful throbbing that seemed to disperse to the rest of his cranium from his temple.

Swaying dangerously, he extended his arms to guide his way through the locker room as he searched for the exit door. The fogginess of his vision made the wandering quest even more difficult.

"Is anyone out there?" He choked between breaths. "HELLO?"

The desperation he already felt increased when a sudden loud bang echoed. Immediately, he slid to the floor resting on the balls of his feet and wrapped his arms around his head protectively. His eyes were wide with fear as his mind continued to replay back to the past.

Shots surrounded his hearing in every direction of his container. A few too close for comfort as they scraped the top portions of the box.

He crouched as low as he could possibly get, cradling his small body from the loud sounds outside. He shook, unable to control his body's reactions any longer as tears fell from his dirtied cheeks.

"Please stop. Please stop. Please stop," he chanted softly.

The noises didn't stop, no matter how hard he wished. They just continued driving the small child into hiccups of hysteria.

Just as sudden as the shots commenced, they stopped replaced by shouts and orders. Tentatively, he raised himself from his curled position. There was enough room for him to sit straight Indian style.

He heard noises outside his confinement, loud thuds hit his box as someone apparently tried to open it. Seconds before accomplishing the feat, three last shots rang in his ears. The last he remembered was a blond man cursing, before he fell into unconsciousness.

"Shit! Who the fuck turned off the lights!"

Naruto walked through the black room, guided faintly by the light from his phone. Shrugging he trotted toward his locker. No way was he leaving his MP3. Not if he had to ride with Sasuke. He liked the bastard and all, but he had terrible taste in music.

Nearing his locker, he heard muffled sounds and labored breathing. He paled. That better not be a fucking ghost. A prissy Uchiha he could deal. Casper, no matter how friendly, nuh uh.

Making a quick grab of his music device, he slowly made his way back. It wasn't until he heard a soft chanting that he stopped. Ghost didn't sound scared…did they?

His curiosity got the better of him as he stepped closer to the sound. His phone gave him enough brightness to see a bundle of limbs shaking.

"A-are you alright?"

The head didn't turn up at the question. Moments passed before dark eyes looked up.

Holy shit! Not ghosts, zombies!

Naruto staggered backwards as he took in the bloodied face. Wait isn't that…"Lee?"

Lachrymose orbs regarded him thoughtfully. "Minato?" He whispered.

The blond's brows shot up. "Min- You know my dad?"

The raven nodded, "My head hurts."

Shaking out of his surprise Naruto finally remembered Lee's state. "Shit man, what happened?" Unmindful of Lee's state of dress, he approached the brunet and led him to one of the benches.

"Lee, do you have your clothes?"

Disoriented for a moment, Lee nodded. "Yeah they are in the next isle in my bag on top of the bench.

"Okay, I'll be right back."

Naruto was slightly taken aback by Lee. Sure he hadn't known him long, this being his third day and all, but every time he saw him, he never looked defeated, especially when the guys were messing with him.

The bench on the corresponding isle was empty. He flashed his phone in every direction but the place was clear.

"Hey Lee, are you sure you left the bag outside? There's nothing here…" As if realizing the answer to the question, he slapped his forehead. Of course! It had to be them. Who else would turn off the lights when Lee was the only one left.

"Are you sure? I am positive I left it there."

Lee was slowly regaining his composure. His head throbbed and the darkness was unnerving him, but Naruto's voice took the edge off.

"Lee, I think I know why your stuff isn't here." The blond began to explain as he opened his own locker to take out an orange sweatshirt and his gym shorts. He didn't have boxers, but Lee could make do without them for a while.

He walked back to the brunet, seething. "Here. I'm sorry. The guys took this too far, the fuckers."

Lee smiled as he accepted the clothing, embarrassed as the blond shined the light in his direction. "Do not curse them Naruto, but thank you very much. I appreciate your kindness.

"But they are," Naruto murmured as he turned away to give Lee some privacy.

"Hey, are you alright? I mean you were pretty freaked out. Are you that scared of the dark?"

Lee pulled on the sweatshirt before answering. "It is…complicated. I am alright Naruto. Just a bit woozy from the hit to the head."

"Okay."

Naruto took the answer nodding. He could feel there was something more by the way he had found the raven, but he knew how it felt to be pried for information. He respected privacy, contrary to popular belief. Though there was one thing plaguing his curiosity.

"Hey, how do you know my dad? You don't have to tell me, but I mean you called me by my dad's name."

Lee's eyes widened for a minute. He couldn't recall calling out the name of his savior. They grew even wider as he took in what Naruto had said.

"Minato is your dad?" Being in the dark, he couldn't exactly see all of the blond's features with the dull lighting, but he'd seen him enough to remember his looks.

Those memories. He kept them suppressed deep enough to completely forget sometimes, but now that he thought back to the man who had taken much care of him, he could see the similarities between his blond haired angel and his blond haired schoolmate.

"Yeah. He passed away years ago." A sad smile painted his features as he thought about his old man.

Lee caught the look despite the lack of luminosity, wrenching his heart a little. "I am sorry, Naruto."

"Thanks. It was a long time ago. Don't feel bad about it. So I'm guessing he did something to save you, huh?" He grinned. "Come on. Let's get you out. You look like a zombie with all that blood. Gave me a damn heart attack."

Nodding, Lee followed at a toddle pace until he stepped out into the blinding brilliance of the gym.

Finally in the light, Naruto could see the damage better and winced. "Come on, let's take you to the office. Maybe they can fix you up."

Once again Lee nodded, glad to have had the blond find him.

They gradually stepped inside the office that could pass off as a five star hotel's lobby. Pillars about twelve feet high encircled a crescent shaped mahogany desk. A small mock pond lay right in the middle as orange fish with scales that glittered swam blissfully in. The top counter of the desk was meticulously piled with the school's brochures, senior activity sheets, log in sheets and a phone. A step lower sat the receptionist desk where a young, pink headed woman manned the area.

"Sakura! You're still here?" Naruto waved at the female, grinning like an idiot.

"Of course you brute. Some of us do have to work in order to pay for college."

"Yeah, yeah. Work-shmork. Anyways, you think you could fix up my friend here? Kinda busted his head in a little wrestling game we were having. I guess I went a little rough on the newbie." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. Sakura didn't need to know the real reason.

Lee was grateful for the excuse. He hated the pitiful state Naruto found him in and he appreciated the unspoken favor.

Sakura finally noticed the other man shying away behind Naruto, a small tinge of pink adorning his cheeks. She gasped as she found blood still flowing freely down his temple. She quickly put her paperwork down and walked out from behind the desk, swatting Naruto's unsuspecting head.

"You blockhead! You could cause serious damage if you're not careful!"

"Come on honey, let's take you to the clinic." She grabbed Lee's wrist and placed her other hand on his back, leading him towards the next room on the left side of the desk. Setting him down on the bed, she went to the cabinet and grabbed a bottle of iodine and a damp towel. Gently, she cleaned the wound, pressing down to stop the bleeding.

Naruto leaned on the doorway, smirking. "You sure are on your way to becoming a doctor. Wouldn't mind if we played doctor one of these days. I'll be a more than participating patient."

Once upon a time he had liked the pink haired woman. Now he had Sasuke, but that didn't mean he couldn't flirt with his childhood friend just to see her reaction.

Really, he questioned his survival instincts sometimes. Sakura could murder him in a blink of an eye making it seem like a suicide.

"Naruto! Shut up and go to your boyfriend!" If Lee wasn't her priority, Naruto would be licking his own wounds tight now.

"Will do. Take good care of him. Later Lee and again I'm sorry."

"Do not worry about it Naruto. Have a nice evening," he smiled.

Naruto walked out the school's entrance toward the parking lot. If the guys' plan was to freak out Lee while in the shower, then they succeeded. He was not going to give them the satisfaction of telling them how he found the poor guy. The fright over those glazed eyes as Lee seemed to come out of whatever he was in had been enough to anger him. Small pranks where nobody was getting hurt were fine. Jokes that went far beyond personal boundaries, he would not stand for those.

Sakura stared at her work satisfied. Okay, well you're all done," she smiled warmly.

"Thank you Miss. I am truly grateful for your excellent medical capabilities."

She smiled blushing slightly at the compliment. "Silver tongued aren't you?" She smirked.

Lee grinned. "Never Miss. Just stating the truth."

"So tell me, why in God's name would you want to wrestle with Naruto? That twerp, though stupid at best, makes up in strength for what he lacks in brains."

Lee chuckled nervously, "I love a challenge? We were just fooling around and well one of those slick pinning moves went out of the mat."

"Mmmhmm. You are a crazy one aren't you?"

"I've been told, yes. Umm would you mind if I use the phone?"

"Sure thing. Just be sure to press 0-9 before your number."

She led him back to the office where he picked up the phone and began dialing. Five rings later, the phone was picked up. Loud gasping sounds and a low mumble of killing intent caused him to groan. Great. He called at the worst moment.

"Hello?" The low breathless voice answered.

"Hey Haku," Lee nervously greeted. Zabuza was going to kill him in his sleep. He could already foretell his imminent murder.

"Lee? Aren't you supposed to be at work?" A moan and a whispered harder made Lee blush uncontrollably. He glanced at Sakura in the front desk only to find her staring at him curiously sporting a nice shade of crimson herself.

"Yeah about that," he rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the heat underneath his fingertips. "Could you come and pick me up? Or you could send Didi if you would like since you are busy," he quickly uttered.

Lee heard muffled voices and a loud smack that he did not wish to place the body part that received it.

A much more controlled and composed Haku came back on the line. "Lee, are you okay?" The raven smiled, sensing the worry in his friends voice. "Yeah I am fine. It is just…" Lee looked at Sakura for a moment. "You know what, I will tell you later." Yeah he didn't need to burden Sakura with his problems.

Haku's perceptively intuitive nature had him narrowing his eyes, marring his effeminate features.

"It was those scumbags again wasn't it?"

Lee winced. Haku's intonation chilled his blood. His voice made Zabuza's baritone voice seem honey sweet. "Y-yeah. I will tell you later. I promise."

A growl loud enough to pass as feral was heard through the line.

"You have me on speaker do you not." Both Haku and Lee knew it was more of an observed statement than a question.

The slight tension dissipated in the conversation as a chuckled warmed its way from Haku.

"Of course! You know I'm bad with phones. I can't hear unless I have the speaker mode right against my ear. Hey Zabu, where are you going?"

"To pick up Lee, what else?"

The gentle man smiled tenderly at his love. He was cold and intimidating on the surface, but beneath, he was giant squeezable teddy bear. One which only he could hug. Occasionally Lee, who always caught him unguarded and was just too adorable to say no. Rarely Deidara, who surprisingly enough was still alive after his last attempt.

Lee grinned, and although they couldn't see him, he bowed as he apologized. "Zabuza I am so sorry for disturbing your youthful moment of intimacy. I promise I will run 100 laps around the park for causing you an inconvenience."

Zabuza's brow twitched as he heard that despised word, glaring at his lover when he heard him stifle a laugh. Grabbing a pillow from the floor, he threw it to the laughing man, catching Haku dead on.

In the school, the receptionist stared amused at the man and his idiosyncrasies. For the safety of the school, she was required to hear every conversation made through the school's phone and this had to be the best one yet. She squealed as she was indulged in her secret hobby.

Haku continued laughing as he went back to Lee. "We'll be there in a few."

"Ummm Haku?"

"Yes?"

Did he want to chance being overheard? A small breeze confirmed his answer. "Could you bring me some boxers?" He whispered, hoping the lady hadn't heard him.

Surreptitiously, Sakura brought a handful of papers up to her mouth and giggled. Oh, this boy was adorable. Lee oblivious to his surroundings continued to look at the floor.

Haku's eyebrows quirked up. "What happened to your underwear, Lee?"

Lee really wanted to whine. "I will tell you when you get here, okay!"

"Fine, fine. We'll see you in a few."

"Alright, thank you Haku. I will be waiting in the office. And again I am sorry for the interruption."

"No problem. What are friends for?" The long haired male smiled. Friends did not even fully describe the relationship between himself, Lee and Deidara. Their bond transcended that of blood relatives. "And hush, you know it's no bother. Right Zabu?"

"Hn."

"See completely fine. I'll see you in a bit."

"Okay. Bye."

Lee hung up relieved. What would he do without mother-hen-Haku?

The flustered male raised his head and turned to Sakura with a quizzical expression. Throughout his conversation a small tinge of red adorned her cheeks. "Excuse me Miss, by any chance did you hear what we were saying?"

"Yup! To the last syllable!" She grinned widely as she wiggled her eyebrows.

Lee groaned, but smiled amiably. "Did it make your day Miss. Sakura?"

"Oh, just Sakura is fine and yes, actually, it did."

"Umm, is it obligatory to hear on conversations?" He asked.

"For safety purposes, yes. Out of all the ones I've heard, yours has been the cherry on a cake, just so you know," her voice held a playful tease.

Lee sat on one of the chairs waiting for his ride home as his new, apparent friend forced out all the juicy details of his friends.

Girls. Who would understand them. They won't let another woman take their man, but make their competition a guy and she'll want a camera installed for her voyeurism.

A long thirty minutes awaited him.


A/N: Plot bunnies. They are running around everywhere driving me insane, but eh, I ain't complaining :D

R&R Please! I'm working on my other two stories. I am a bit disappointed at the lack of feedback, especially my sasunaru story. :c

I hope you enjoyed! :)