Author's Note: A reviewer asked for this to be included in my big fic, There Can Be No Peace, but I just don't think it will fit and I'm not a fan of this type of fic, so I made it separate. I thought it would be hilarious, once I thought about it a bit, but it just doesn't fit with the plot of my other fic. Mpreg, and Cas/Dean slash with Bottom!Dean. Vaguely takes place after/during There Can Be No Peace. If you don't know who Rachel is, read There Can Be No Peace. In short, she's Bobby's girlfriend. Rachel is NOT an OC. She's a canon character, just with a slightly changed name. Tried to make the sex as non-smutty as possible to keep the T rating, so I kept it short. Will be multi-chapter, since I can't fit everything in one chapter.

Why I Hate Tricksters, By Dean Winchester

At a small bed and breakfast inn, Cas was massaging Dean's back, which ached profusely after he'd said one too many sarcastic things to Loki, the resident Trickster who was fucking his brother, and Loki had retaliated by telepathically tossing him into a wall. Or through it, and giving him a mean look and threatening to tell Sam.

"When are you going to learn, Dean? If you keep harassing Loki, he might do something worse than just throw things at you or throw you at things." Cas gave Dean a slight glare and slapped his ass.

Dean stood up. "I'm sorry! He's just such an easy target...and I haven't forgiven him for that time he made me die about forty times or something."

"Wait, what?" Cas looked baffled.

"Uhm, nothing. It was a, uh...long time ago." Dean hastily reassured Cas, who would likely find SOME way to kill Loki if he found out he'd been responsible for killing Dean repeatedly in a timeloop. Even if Dean had ended up okay.

Cas gave Dean a penetrating stare, which had somehow lost a little potency since he'd lost his angel powers, but still gave Dean the shivers. Good and bad shivers. "Okay, whatever you say...as long as he didn't kill you and then revive you or something...if he did, I would make him pay."

Dean leaned back onto Cas, using him as a pillow. "I know you would. Sam would THEN make YOU pay...so...uh...no matter what happens to me cuz of that shithead, lets not kill him."

Cas just sighed and lay his head on Dean's shoulder. "Fine, but Loki better watch it. I'm too protective of you to just let him mess with you." Cas gripped Dean and pulled him back against him, rather hard in Dean's opinion.

Speaking of hard...Dean felt a little something hard pressing into the small of his back. He twisted around and raised an eyebrow at Cas. "So, uh, is that a pen in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Okay...even I know that was extremely lame."

Cas kissed Dean, pushing him down on the bed they'd been leaning on. "What do you think, love?"

"Oh, god! When does the damn honeymoon phase END with you two!" Loki had walked by the open door and looked at them with a bit of disgust, but still managed to smartass them.

"Dude, go away. Cas, we have to remember to close and lock our doors. Creeps might peek in. Or worse things, like Tricksters." He gestured at Loki, who was just standing there sneering.

"Sam said he asked you to stop being a dick to me. I guess that ain't happening, is it? Hmm." Loki looked thoughtful, which was always a bad thing, in Dean's experience. "Say, you wanna visit another Timeloop? I know Sam thought it was funny...I mean, after I explained and all." Loki grinned wickedly at Dean.

Cas glared at former archangel Gabriel turned Loki. "What do you mean, 'timeloop'?"

Loki chuckled. "What, hasn't Dean told you? I killed him about twenty times or so when I put Sammy in a timeloop...it was hilarious, but you had to be there to really enjoy the hilarity of it."

Cas leapt up and darted forward, in an awkward attempt to strangle Loki. Dean held him back. "CAS! Its nothing. I'm okay! I'm not dead! And, uh, Sam and Loki kinda met that way. I mean, uh, really met. Not in the sexual way. Just in the 'talking' way. So it wasn't all bad!"

The former angel still glared at Loki with death in his eyes. If looks could kill, Loki would have been toast.

"See? No harm, no foul! Its all good. And I fell in love with Sammy then, too, you know. His strength, bravery, his unwillingness to give up, no matter how dire the situation...mmm...I don't know why you chose this dumbass, Castiel." Loki jerked a thumb at Dean.

Dean didn't stop Cas this time when he tried to strangle the Trickster. Cas managed to tackle Loki to the floor and punched at him, only slamming his fist into the floor when Loki teleported away. Cas's fist was bleeding when he looked around for Loki, intent on murdering him violently.

"Over here, bad boy. Your aim really sucks. Maybe Dean could teach you how to hit things sometime...say, when you guys are fucking, does Dean have to help you aim your dick into his ass?"

Dean took advantage of Loki's unnecessarily long insult to smash the back of the Trickster's head with a nearby lamp. Loki crumpled to the floor, but, being a god, was only bleeding a bit and looked slightly dazed.

"Ow. That kinda hurt. You know...back when I was hangin around Odin and them...I kinda had this situation...well, I wonder how you would handle the same thing, dumbass?" Loki stood up, a bit wobbly from being clobbered by Dean.

Dean and Cas had finally managed to calm down enough that neither tried to murder Loki when he insulted Dean this time. Dean still gazed questioningly at Loki. "What do you mean? What situation? Did you like, get killed by OTHER people you insulted constantly?"

Loki snorted. "No. Well, okay, yes, but thats not what I meant. Heimdall only killed me ONCE, by the way." He glared at Dean, for not knowing his Norse mythology. "I meant...well, you'll see...in a few months."

Loki gestured at Dean. Green light flew from his hand and smacked Dean right in the face, knocking him down, but seemingly doing him no other harm. Cas knelt down to help Dean up, and glared at Loki, who just smirked and teleported away, likely to fuck Sam in another room or insult Bobby or Rachel. Rachel liked Loki for some reason. Likely because he used to be her brother. She put up with his insults and jokes because she was probably used to them.

Bobby just ignored him, even when insulted directly. He spent most of his time not texting Crowley back. Crowley seemed to have some weird infatuation with Bobby and constantly sent him text messages, which Bobby steadfastly ignored.

Except for the time he'd sent Rachel a text of Bobby and he kissing. Rachel had just rolled her eyes and said something insulting about demons, not really caring that Bobby had once made a deal with him, but Bobby had sent Crowley an angry text and told him to stop fucking texting him and his girlfriend. Crowley, of course, had not listened, and still badgered Bobby with annoying text messages daily.

Now that Loki was gone, hopefully for good, Dean managed to get up with Cas's help and closed and locked the door. It wouldn't keep Loki OUT since he could teleport, but it would keep him from constantly being a peeping tom. WHY he had to do that, no one knew. Sam just snorted and thought it was funny.

"So, what now, babe? Fuck me?" Dean asked hopefully, giving Cas one of those looks that couldn't be ignored.

"I still want to go kill Loki. After we make love, can I go kill him? Please? He'll just come back, so Sam won't STAY mad..." Cas trailed off when he noticed Dean's angry glare.

"He's a dick, but no killing him. He's still my brother's lover. I'd be pretty pissed if Sam killed you. How do you think Sam would feel if you killed Loki? Yeah, thats right, he'd want to kill you. So hold off on that for awhile. Now...other business?" Dean pulled a jar of lube out of the duffel bag he used to carry he and Cas's clothing.

"Fine...but I swear I'm killing him, one of these days..." Cas snatched the jar of lube from Dean. He undressed the elder Winchester with practiced ease, and slid a lubed up finger into Dean's waiting ass.

Dean moaned. "Ungh...dude...if you're gonna undress me, you gotta get naked too. No fair if you don't."

"If I weren't naked, we couldn't do this..." Cas slid his tongue down Dean's naked back, causing the other man to shiver in anticipation. Cas shrugged off the sweater and jeans Dean had talked him into wearing and pinned Dean's arms to the bed, teasing him by slowly and achingly pressing the tip of his cock lightly into Dean's lubed up ass.

"Cas...stop teasin' me...I've had enough jokes today with dickface..." Dean moaned, face pressed against the bed.

Cas stroked Dean's now-sweaty hair, mumbled random words of love and reassurance and stopped teasing him. He plunged into Dean with practiced ease, just as easily as removing clothing. It didn't have the same effect. Dean cried out in pleasure and pain. Cas thrust in and out of his beloved, puncturing his moans with little nibbles on his neck and ears.

Dean liked it when Cas was naughty. The former angel didn't get naughty often enough for his liking, but when he did, it was great.

Dean was hard, ready, and quivering by the time Cas had shot his seed inside him. He could still feel his angel's slick, sweet seed in between his asscheeks. It was hot, and wonderful.

"Finish me, baby..." he moaned, hoping Cas would hurry up, but the former angel seemed to be taking his sweet time. He had flipped Dean over onto his back and was now kissing, licking, caressing his chest, shoulders, legs...everything BUT the part that needed it.

He was throbbing, aching, by the time Cas finally got there and started to lick and suck his hardness. It wasn't long until he came, arching his back and crying Cas's name. Cas was gasping as he slid up Dean's body to kiss him.

Dean could taste his own seed on Cas's lips. His angel had, of course, swallowed his seed. Cas told him there was nothing in the world that tasted sweeter. Dean thought Cas was just making shit up. They kissed for a bit until they both fell asleep.

Several weeks later, Dean woke with what he assumed was a really bad case of stomach flu. They were staying in a really small, crappy motel and the bathroom was only a short distance away. He managed to make it there before vomiting. He felt awful. Like he had the flu on steroids. After vomiting up nearly everything he'd eaten the previous night, he tried to stand up, only to find himself light headed. He sat down on the only seat available in the bathroom.

The sound of Dean's coughing had woken Cas, who had been snoring softly into his pillow and sleeping nicely. He groaned and looked at the clock. Ouch. 6 am. Still, if Dean was sick...Cas threw aside his blankets and rushed to the bathroom to find Dean sitting on the toilet with his head in his hands.

"Dean? Are you okay? I heard some coughing and...is that vomit I smell? Are you sick? Should we call 911?" The former angel was almost panicky. His Dean had never been SICK before! Without his angel powers, he couldn't do anything to heal Dean. What if Dean was REALLY sick?

Dean coughed again, luckily not vomiting. "Dude, calm down. Its just like, the flu or something. Humans get diseases all the time. Its probably like, the twenty-four hour kind and I'll be fine tomorrow. Go back to sleep." He tried to wave Cas away, but Cas was having none of it and still hovered over him like a really annoying old lady who wouldn't leave you alone when you REALLY DIDNT WANT TO TALK TO HER!

"No! I'm not leaving you while you're sick." Cas sat down in the floor and attempted to hug Dean, which didn't work too well since Dean was much higher up than he. Cas eventually settled for just staring at Dean, which also didn't work too well since all it did was annoy Dean.

Holding his uneasy stomach, Dean managed to stand up, still nauseated but able to walk without throwing up again. "You can sit on the dirty bathroom floor all you want. I'm going to try and go back to sleep." He made it to the bed and fell asleep almost immediately, even though he was quite nauseous.

Cas still sat on the bathroom floor, a little baffled, but eventually got up and joined Dean in bed. He couldn't go back to sleep, so he settled for staring at Dean while he slept, which was really creepy and would've been totally rape-y looking if he and Dean weren't a thing.

Dean appeared to not have the flu at all, as it seemed that the rest of the day, he wasn't sick at all and even ate two double cheeseburgers for dinner. For some reason that Cas could not figure out, Gabriel, that is, Loki, was looking incredibly smug lately. That is, moreso than usual. He would look at Dean and try not to burst into laughter.

Even Sam found this odd and questioned him on it, to which Loki only replied "I played a trick on him a few weeks ago. I'm just thinking about how funny it was." which seemed to satisfy Sam, since he knew Loki liked to laugh at things that happened a long time ago because he was weird that way.

"I know they said this is an all you can eat place, but I don't think they meant for you to eat THIS much, Dean..." Sam kicked his older brother under the table, glaring at him. Dean just shrugged.

"I'm REALLY hungry. I had some kind of virus this morning and totally threw up everything I ate last night. Can you blame me?" Sam just shrugged, still not entirely convinced, and shot a suspicious glare at his dear Loki, who just gave Sam an innocent smile and a shrug.

Bobby was glaring at his cell phone, totally not paying attention to anything else going on in the room.

"Guys, can you block someone forever? Loki? Can you make it to where a demon can't get my number no matter how powerful he is?" Apparently, Bobby had changed his cell number to avoid the constant barrage of text messages he got from Crowley, but it hadn't worked. Everyone ignored him.

Loki was more interested in pinching Sam's ass, Rachel was just eating her dinner, Cas and Dean were giving each other soulful looks (which prompted Loki to make prolonged gagging noises at them). Bobby was very annoyed. No one would help him get rid of Crowley. Not even his girlfriend. He gave a very un-Bobby-like cry of frustration and pouted, thinking about just destroying his cell phone altogether, but then remembered that Crowley would likely bother him in person if he did this.

Completely ignoring Bobby's Crowley problem, Cas and Dean decided they'd had enough of the meal and started to make out right there in the diner. Which once again prompted Loki to make fun of them. Sam just sighed. His boyfriend was funny, and he loved him, but he sure gave his older brother lots of hell.