'Twas the fifteenth of May, in the Jungle of Nool, in the heat of the-

GOD DAMN IT DR. SEUSS GET OUT OF HERE YOU WEREN'T EVEN INVITED.

Dr. Seuss: I just wanted to be accepted... *cries*

Okay, sorry, here's the real shpeel:

'Twas the fifteenth of DECEMBER, and outside of the Akatsuki hideout a wicked blizzard had been raging on for hours.

"I hope Hidan is all right...he's still out there in the freezing cold," Konan murmured, gazing out the window (the hideout is a friggin' house, okay?). Kakuzu wasn't with him but rather infiltrating the Hidden Cloud, so Hidan was all alone outside in the snow on a mission to eliminate the spies that were tracking them.

Itachi sighed and acted nonchalant about it, but deep down he was truly worried for his lover. Being out in the cold for so long in nothing but a ripped Akatsuki cloak was nothing but devastation on one's health. And knowing him, he was probably going to take extra long sacrificing his victims to "Jashin".

Suddenly, the door slammed and Konan rushed away from the window. "Hidan! Are you okay? Where have you been? I hope you weren't walking down that alley, it's notorious for hookers you know-"
Hidan flashed a grin and said, "I'm fine, I was just finishing up some business." But Itachi noticed something about him, the way he looked as though he were strongly fighting the urge to cough, and he was constantly sniffing. Konan might not have seen it over all her fussing, but it was definitely there.

"Well, if we're all finished here, I'm going to head upstairs." he grinned. She nodded and made her way to her own bedroom, leaving Itachi standing there, dumbfounded. Rather than ignoring it like he would have with anyone else, he followed Hidan to his room. Slowly creaking open the door, he peered inside.

-

Hidan was already sound asleep, whimpering quietly and coughing heavily from time to time. Itachi made his way into the room, feeling his forehead. No doubt about it, Hidan had a terrible fever. Surprisingly, he leaned his head against Itachi's cool hand (that's a fine hand ya got there, Itachi.) and let out a soft sigh. It was like he was a different person while he was sleeping, a more gentle and less maniacal man. His body was sleek with sweat and his teeth were clenched as he shivered violently.

After he tip-toed downstairs and back to grab a basin of cold water and a wash rag, careful not to cause any questions from Konan, Itachi placed the wet rag against Hidan's blazing hot forehead. Instantly his strained, sweating face relaxed. Itachi smiled, pleased with his efforts. He gently covered the rest of his torso with a warm blanket, content and ready to go back to his own room.

All too soon though, Hidan began to mumble something incoherently with a pained expression. "Mmph...can't take it...no more...!" he cried out, tossing and turning.

"Hidan. Hidan! Wake up," Itachi frantically demanded. Hidan's eyes opened wide and he shot up, gasping for air. "I-Itachi?" he asked. Quickly, he was consumed by a rough coughing fit.

"Easy, easy..." Itachi coaxed, stroking his back. "G-Get your hands off me." Hidan blushed. The Uchiha bit back a smile gently pushed him back down. "Don't force yourself too much or you won't get any better." Hidan groaned and clutched his stomach.

"Damn, I'm not feeling too good," he mumbled shakily. "In the basin." Itachi commanded, not wanted to make a mess. Unwillingly, he oblidged, emptying the contents of his stomach into the bucket. "Nngh...it still hurts..." he gasped, wiping his mouth. Itachi handed him a glass of water and he gulped it down. "Not too fast, or you'll-"

It was too late, the water had already come back up into the bucket. Itachi wiped away the tears that had threatened to fall over his lover's cheeks. He handed him back the glass of water and said, "Slowly this time. Don't drink the whole thing, just enough to get the taste out of your mouth." Hidan nodded and took careful sips. "Sheesh, I'm not a baby. If you want to take care of a little kid go partner up with Tobi." he muttered.

A sudden flashback washed over him as he remembered his dreadful nightmare. Like he could read thoughts, Itachi inquired, "What exactly were you groaning about a few minutes ago? Had a bad dream, I take it?" The albino quickly glanced away, not wanting to relive the horrible images. He squeezed his eyes shut, blocking it out.
"Hidan, calm down. I'm here now, you can tell me." Hesitantly, he retold his nightmare.

"I was just standing there, frozen. It was burning hot, I really thought I was in hell. And then I saw you and...you were being slaughtered. It's weird, but...I really didn't want you to die. I couldn't take it." he whispered with a shaky voice. Itachi gawked at him. This sadist/masochist was whimpering and crying all for him? That was new.
"Q-Quit looking at me, bastard. I'm just a little shaken, that's all. Must be the fe...fev...h-heh-h'tchoo!" he sneezed, sniffling. "It was just a stupid dream. I wasn't freakin' scared or anything." he grumbled.

Itachi could see a pink blush tinging his face that definitely wasn't from any fever. "Hidan, everyone has nightmares from time to time. It's nothing to get all embarrassed about." he reassured him. "I guess...it's still so hot in here though...heh-eschoo!" His body was wracked with violent coughs and suddenly, blood spurted out between his fingers.

"Hidan!" Itachi shouted worridly. He used a spare cloth to wipe all the blood from his hand and mouth, giving him the glass of water again. To his surprise, Hidan refused it. "D-Don't think...I can..." he gasped, wretching on the bed. It was easily confirmed now. This was no fever- it was a horrible case of the flu. It wasn't much more than a puddle of water and blood staining the sheets, but Hidan kept dry heaving until he thought he would pass out. Itachi could do nothing to ease his suffering except to rub his back until the heaving was done.

There was a long moment of silence, aside from the heavy gasping coming from Hidan. Finally, Itachi broke the silence. "Do you think you can stand? I should probably change the sheets." He nodded and got off, walking over to the other side of the room. Itachi tore the first setting of sheets off and replaced them with a nearby comforter large enough to cover the bed.

"That ought to do-" There was a loud crash as Hidan collapsed onto the floor, unconscious. Itachi jumped back, startled, before rushing to his aid. He called out his name again and again, though it was obvious the shouts didn't reach his ears. With great care, he lifted Hidan up and carried him back into bed (yeah get back in there biatch Itachi hasn't screwed you yet).

Hours passed by slowly before Hidan came to. "Nnngh...my head..." he moaned. Woah, did he always sound like this? His nose was so congested and his voice was rough. "GAH!" Itachi yelped, pointing a kunai at what he thought was an intruder. "Oh, sorry Hida- Hidan! You're awake," He rolled his eyes. "Really? I hadn't noticed! Thanks for pointing that out, Captain Obvious!" Well, so much for the gentleness from before.

"How are you feeling?" Itachi inquired. "Like shit. I thought only bad people got sick." he grumbled. Itachi had to bite his hand to keep from laughing out loud. "Shuddap. Every muscle in my body aches and I just...ah...t'choo! Hetschoo!" He sneezed rapidly, each one making his stomach lurch.

"Agh...n-not again...!" Itachi quickly grabbed the basin and handed it to Hidan who painfully heaved into it. "Nnn, it hurts so badly...I just want this to be over." he whined. Itachi slung his arm around Hidan's shoulder sympathetically. "I know. Don't worry, I'm here to take care of you. Lie down and try to get some sleep. I'll try to wake you up if you have any more nightmares." Itachi said. Hidan used all his strength just to nod and flopped back down, closing his eyes and drifting off into a deep slumber.

"Thanks...Ita..." he managed to get out before falling asleep. After dampening the rag again and replacing it on his forehead, Itachi sighed. It was strange to see someone who was typically so cocky and arrogant fallen ill. He undid his ponytail and let his long hair fall down his back. It was going to be a long night for sure. But, looking at his lover, so peaceful and content...

It was all worth it.