Shizune couldn't sleep.
She lay there on her narrow bed, her dark eyes scanning the ceiling tiles. She should have been able to drop off right away, given she hadn't slept at all last night.
She'd ran everything through her head, as if to memorise lines for a play. I'm going to meet Hisao, we're going to go for a walk, I'll calm my nerves, we'll find somewhere secluded ... and that's it. I'm going to end this quickly, and painlessly. This can't continue.
Except this morning wasn't as painless as she expected. She'd expected Hisao - no, she wanted Hisao to protest, to say that she hadn't messed him about, that Misha would come around eventually. She'd wanted him to hug her, say everything was going to be alright, feel his breath on her neck and -
But he didn't. He'd just said something - something she couldn't lipread - and walked away. He'd looked back once she'd sat on the step, and Shizune felt a pang of dull pain when she noticed a flicker of a humourless smile on his lips before he'd turned around and disappeared. Not even an ounce of regret.
She didn't cry then, but it was hard as hell not to.
Shizune didn't cry when her father left her at Yamaku without a second glance. She didn't cry whenever she and Lilly had arguments. She couldn't even remember crying when she missed her mother, or felt a little too alone at home in Saitama. No, her father had always had as much deaf awareness as a flea, and Shizune didn't expect he or Hideaki would learn anytime soon - but she didn't ever cry over it, not that she could remember. She'd just felt this huge emptiness, similar to how she was feeling now.
It was no good. She wasn't going to sleep. It felt like she wouldn't for a long time.
Pushing herself up off the bed and striding into the dorm corridors, Shizune went in search for fresh air. A fresh perspective wouldn't hurt, either.
Misha listlessly wandered inside the Student Council room. She was thankful for the lack of Shizune as she closed and locked the door behind her. The room still faintly smelled of the council president; a strange mix of writing ink, deodorant, and whatever she used in her hair, so she couldn't have been gone for long. Misha ran her hands over the top of the filing cabinet, and sank down into the nearby chair despondently.
There was no way to put this right. Not now. Too much had happened, and thanks to their last argument ... Shizune had been made all too aware of the betrayal. Misha's eyes swam with tears as she remembered her ex-best friend's devastated expression. Hunched over the desk, Shizune's upper body was only propped up by her shaking arms as her chest heaved. The harsh sunset light had thrown each vehement sign into sharp relief.
[Why, Misha? How the hell could you have done this to me? I thought I was your best friend!]
Misha had looked back down at her feet. [I dunno. Didn't think.]
A few uncomfortable moments had passed. The only sounds were Shizune's heavy breathing, and Misha kicking at the loose carpet. The pink-haired girl focussed steadily on her shoelaces, feeling the tension swell.
She was taken aback by Shizune striding around the huge president's desk, and grabbing hold of her shoulder, pulling her closer. It hadn't been in the way Misha had fantasised about for a year, but regardless she still felt a jolt in her lower stomach.
Forcing herself to look into the eyes of her now ex-best friend, the person who had once meant the entire world to her, Misha braced herself. Even though the signs were one-handed, she could understand them - and Shizune's agony - perfectly.
[You've hurt me. You've hurt me in the worst possible way.]
Emotion bubbling up inside her, Misha wriggled out of Shizune's grip. [And what about you? You hurt me! You completely ignored how I felt for you! I was so confused and hurt anyway but when you went swanning off with Hisao I didn't know what to do anymore!]
Shizune's eyes widened in disbelief. [So you thought that seducing my boyfriend was going to be the answer? Instead of talking to me?]
[No! I didn't want an answer, I didn't want you to tell me I was just being silly, I wanted comfort! I wanted to feel truly, really wanted! Whenever I spent time with you, you never made me feel that way, ever! If I'd have told you how I still felt, would you have listened?!]
[Yes. What are you talking about?! Yes, I would have listened to you! I did want you around, you were my best friend, weren't you?!]
[You didn't listen last time! No matter what, you kept running after me, even though I was hurting!]
Shizune let out an involuntary shriek of frustration and threw her hand down on the large desk next to them, making the pen pot topple over and the legs rattle loudly. [Yes, because that's what friends do! They stick by each other!]
[You don't know anything about being a friend! Nothing at all! No wonder Lilly doesn't want anything to do with you! No wonder every friend you make ends up hating you!]
For a moment, Shizune was frozen, like Misha had stabbed her. Misha saw her friend's eyes fill up with angry, hurt tears. Knowing that she'd already gone too far, she continued regardless.
[But when he ... did things to me ... I thought of you. Never once did I stop thinking of you.]
A blur of white, and a rush of air. Misha's back knocked against the corner of the desk with a loud thump, only registering that Shizune had hit her when the door was wrenched open. It could have been Misha's imagination, but she could have sworn that she had heard a sob as the door slammed. The end of a friendship. The end of an era.
Back in the present day, Misha cast her eyes to the desk drawers, the reason why she'd come here in the first place. Pulling the middle one open, she retrieved a Mamegoma-patterned notebook, her supply of chewing gum, and her pencil case. The notebook's cover was littered with games of noughts-and-crossed and Hangman, each one more and more haphazard as both girls got competitive. Misha shoved it in the very bottom of her schoolbag, and left the room.
It would be her last visit.
Shizune wasn't quite sure where she was going. She'd just needed air and a change of scenery, although that had been her reasoning for skipping out on afternoon lessons to stare at her bedroom ceiling. Obviously it hadn't worked that time, but maybe if she kept trying ...
She turned a corner, and found herself in a familiar corridor. Her eyes fell on a door to her right, which was slightly ajar. It had quite a friendly look, as though it would welcome any weary traveller, possibly one lost on the way to the Library.
Should I? Shizune thought, pursing her lips.
She hadn't made up her mind properly before she'd laid a hand on the chipped wood, and pushed the door open. Indeed, the person she'd been vaguely thinking about was sitting at the desk, and had turned at the noise.
"Who's there?"
