Jemima Dominczyk

We were running around Ancient Persia. That's all I know. It wasn't meant to be Persia, of any description. The most Persia I expecting was a Persian rug, or a Persian cat, but I wasn't really expecting these either. I know Ancient Persia is a big place, and was around for a long time, but I can't do better than that. I'm sorry. If you want more detail in that regard, you'd better ask the Doctor, but I doubt he'll know.

So, we were in Persia, and, guess what? We'd upset someone. Again. So we were running. Again. And I really needed to pee. AGAIN.

I ALWAYS need to pee in these situations. I should really see a doctor about it (haha Oh the irony. If it weren't for The Doctor, I would never be in these situations.) It doesn't matter if I take on zero fluids, and go before we leave – one whiff of danger and I'm looking for that little lady sign, and there's never one to be found.

Somehow the Doctor and I got separated in the chase. I'm not usually one to complain if lots of muscular men are clamouring for my attention, but something about their armour and warlike expressions indicated to me they didn't just want to buy me a drink.

I was hiding behind a stone wall, crouching down attempting to get my breath back and definitely not thinking about how badly I needed to pee. Contrary to popular belief, thuggish types are not necessarily thick, and they had regrouped the other side of my wall to work out what to do. I could hear the guy in charge organising the others into smaller groups, so they could cover a wider area. It wouldn't be long before I was spotted.

Background information time! Ancient Persians had a load of gods. One of them was called Ardvi Sura Anahita, (catchy, I know. Took me an age to get it right.) and she was the goddess of the waters and the cosmic ocean. She was regarded as the source of life and was big on fertility and survival. She's not exactly meant to be physically unattractive either, but they never are. Anahita's vehicle of choice is a chariot pulled by four horses (Wind, Rain, Cloud and Sleet. Her permanent residence is in Scotland (that last bit was a joke. No goddesses live in Scotland. If you were a goddess, would you choose to live in Scotland? I don't think so.))

Can you see where this is going?

Knock me down and run me over, would you believe it? You'll never guess what drove into my field at that moment. A chariot pulled by four horses (Wind, Rain, Cloud and Sleet) with a tall, noble, strong women wearing a gold embroidered mantle, golden earrings and a necklace, carrying a bunch of twigs? You got in one. How did you guess?

Bearing in mind that I was still sitting in a field at this point with no idea who this crazy lady was, or who she was meant to be, I was a little bewildered. In my bewilderment I accidently gave away my hiding place by shouting out a lot of words I shall not repeat, and consequently was hauled over the wall by fella smart enough to grab me, even though one of his goddesses had just shown up. I had to admire his presence of mind.

So, 'Anahita' pulls up in her chariot and has a right go at the soldiers (we are all on our knees at this point.) and demonstrates general threatening behaviour. She demands that I am released and that they desist in the persecution of myself and the Doctor, wherever he may be. No kidding. She really used the words desist and persecution.

And they listen! They let me go, and I am released into the clutches of a nutter with sword. I don't know if Anahita's meant to have a sword, but I bet it's not a roman one. This is about the point when one of the guys realises that Wind, Rain, Cloud and Sleet all look remarkably like his horses. 'Anahita' indicates this is bit where I jump on the chariot and we run away (or rather, the horses do).

We somehow managed to locate the TARDIS. I had only got past the 'who are you?' (and got a description of her bloody character, as if we were at a fancy dress party and I didn't know who she was. This how how I know she was Anahita. Didn't quite catch the bit about the twigs though), when our local friendly mob started pounding on the doors.

She didn't seem worried though, unlike me. Apparently anything that can make it through the time vortex intact is not going to be kicked in by a few drunks. I felt like pointing out they weren't drunk and there were more than a few, but then the phone rang.

It was the Doctor. She answered it, but she stuck it on speaker. He asked if we were okay, and that he'd seen us pass on our chariot from the rooftop where he was perched. (We didn't ask why he was on a rooftop. Seemed better not to.) He was still okay for now, on his rooftop, but unfortunately the entire building was now surrounded, and he would really appreciate it if River could come and pick him up.

The rest was all rather uneventful. We picked him up, and I got a few more answers and introductions. I went to the toilet. Got a few less answers (to questions like 'where did you get a roman sword from?'). Honestly, nothing surprised me. I was beyond surprise. Anyone who stole a chariot and pretended to be a Persian goddess seemed right up the Doctor's street in my view. I said as much, and he seemed rather offended by it. It's true though. The man stole a time-machine and wears tweed. He can't complain about a chariot and a mantle.

Jemima died. We do not know how, why or when. She suddenly disappears off records. The Doctor never made any allusion to her, or to any of the adventures he shared with her afterwards. The only thing we know is her disappearance coincided with the Doctor's deep, sudden, unexplained hatred of werther's originals.