Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters should pray for their good fortune.

Title: Why Can't I Be Like That

Summary: Jack wants to be like Barbosa, and Barbosa wants to be like Jack. Can they make each other finally accept who they are?

The first chapter will be told from Jack's POV and the second from Barbosa's. There will only be two chapters

~[~

Jack Sparrow has often been considered the man who couldn't die. No matter how many tried to send him to his untimely demise no one could succeed. They cursed their luck and wondered what Jack had that always seemed to tip the odds in his favor. Could it be his cunning, intellect, or charm that always lead to his near impossible escapes.

He was the most devious pirate who ever sailed according to some, mostly those who had fallen for one of his tricks, and who were looking for a good excuse. However, the tales of the chaos he caused spread far and wide, and were often found in common folktales and books about pirates.

Of course, he was also quite possibly the most intelligent pirate ever to sail the seas. He was easily capable of confusing even the smartest men with his chatter and tricking them to give him his way, after convincing them there was no other possible options. He also knew words that clearly showed that he had some form of education, because honestly, how many pirates knew what the word superfluous meant; let alone how to correctly use it in a sentence.

Women all across the ports around the world remembered his flirtatious smile, and smooth voice that melted them to his will. Capable of charming even the most difficult wenches, like Elizabeth Swann, had its perks. People often if it was purely charm, or if his looks gave him an advantage with women. After all, he was more inviting than intimidating.

Still, after pondering all this Jack still felt a sense of melancholy. He was sitting on the Pearl looking up at the moon as it cast its light over the sea and his ship illuminating the night sky. It was so bright candles weren't even necessary. The pale moonlight had bathed the entire ship in a pale eerie glow that suited his mood. He took a quick swig of his rum eyes never leaving the moonlit ocean. He was sitting on a crate near the wheel overlooking the side. He rested his head on his knee, and interlaced his hands around his leg. His other leg rested comfortably on the deck. His eyes conveyed his sadness, but no one was around to witness, so he didn't care that his vulnerability was showing.

He was mulling over all the things in his life he wished he had done differently. His thoughts were drifting to the times he had done the right thing, or something merciful. Thinking over the true definition of being a pirate, a blood thirsty killer. Absently he wondered why he couldn't be like that, and why he was cursed with a conscience. No matter how many times he tried to ignore it, it plagued him. It would always leave him behind the true pirates, ones who people feared and were respected for it.

These thoughts were not uncommon for him, and occurred often, usually when he sitting alone at night thinking. They were rooted deep in his inner turmoil. He always tried to clear them away with thoughts of his own legacy, but he always felt even that could be better. He always thought that Jack the Blood Thirsty Killer, was a better title than Jack the Amazing Escape Artist. Even with all the perks of being him, the thought of being someone who could slam their fist down and demand something, receiving it instantly, seemed better. Instead he demanded and people lazily cooperated.

These unwelcome and distressing thoughts took an even tighter hold shortly after he had taken back his ship. The ship had a fearsome reputation, but he realized that he wasn't responsible for that, Barbosa was. Now he wasn't one to enjoy feasting off the hard work of others, or stealing credit, but this deeply disturbed him. He knew that the ships scary reputation wouldn't last because he couldn't uphold it. He wasn't the man Barbosa was. He wasn't cruel or malicious. He didn't kidnap or kill people on a whim. It wasn't his style, but it was Barbosa's and every other heavily feared and blood thirsty pirate. That bothered him the most; the fact that he couldn't even uphold his dream, because he was too soft.

In truth, it would be hard for him to achieve the reputation he desired. His conscience of course would get in the way, but there were other factors. He wasn't very tall, and actually considered short. Also, he was small and not very well built. He had some muscle, enough to do his job, but not enough to intimidate someone. His small frame was great for sneaking around, but not for protecting himself. Many times while sneaking around or walking though an unfamiliar area he was seized and manhandled. He tried to get away, but wasn't strong enough to break free. The worst though, was when he was captured. The bigger and burlier men took pleasure in making him struggle, and abusing him. He shivered thinking about it.

He thought about all the things he could have done to gain him a better reputation. When he had his pistol against Elizabeth's head and his shackles around her neck he could have easily killed her. After that, the duel with Will the first time in which could have easily killed him, but no he had even asked him nicely to move. Then, he could have raped Elizabeth when they were on the island together. He was easily stronger than her and it would have been easy. Of course, there had been the time he and Barbosa struck a deal which would have eliminated all aboard the Dauntless and given him and Barbosa command of two ships. He could have easily served under Barbosa for a while and then mutinied him as revenge. He didn't think it would have been that hard to gain the trust of the crew and perform such a task. He was sure if he tried harder he could of outmatched Norrington and Will and killed them over the fight for the key. He had saved Will's life by making him Captain of the Dutchman, instead of stabbing the heart himself and gaining immortality. All things he could have done, but didn't, because of his bloody conscience.

He sighed miserably. His ears picked up the sound of approaching footsteps, so he looked in the direction of the sound without turning his head. He looked away when he realized it was the person who he envied most at the moment, Barbosa. Barbosa walked past Jack and leaned on the railing admiring the ocean. Jack sensed Barbaosa knew he was miserable by the side glances the man was giving him. He hoped he had managed to hide the vulnerability he knew he was showing earlier.

"Lovely night isn't it." Barbosa stated in his draw like voice.

"Yes, not a cloud in the sky and a nice temperature to boot." Jack tried to seem friendly, but he still sad and resentful and it showed in his voice. His body position hadn't change.

Barbosa looked put out by Jack's tone. "What's wrong lad?" The question was asked gently enough, but Jack still curled into himself more.

Sighing Jack answered. "I wish I wasn't so soft. I wish I could do the same things you do. I don't have the physical strength to take down enemies with purely that alone. I can't intimidate someone that easily. People take advantage of meself way too easily. Also, I have a conscience that I hate, but can't get rid of. So, I could never live up to the real expectations of a pirate." He didn't look Barbosa in the eye, choosing instead to stare at the calm ocean waters.

"Is this about that incident that happened eleven years ago 'cause that wasn' 'ur fault…." Barbosa began.

"No!" Jack yelled cutting him off. "But thanks for reminding me of that." Jack spoke dryly. He was even more upset now and shivered a bit.

Barbosa wore a thoughtful look for a second and then said "So, you think that being a pirate means being brutal do ye'. Well your considered one, and ye' are doing just fine. 'ur just different, always 'ave been."

"Yes, but when people are remembering great pirates' years from now I won't be one of 'um." Jack's gaze shifted to the deck and his eyes held the hurt they had earlier.

"People will remember ye' not 'cause ye' were some bloody thirsty killer, but 'cause ye' weren't. People will want to tell stories about ye' 'cause they are adventurous, not bloody. They can tell their children tales of a great pirate, and they grow up thinkin' 'bout piracy like some romantic fairytale. They won't want 'em to know how it truly was. The reason ye' get people ta' believe ye' so easily is 'cause people don't wanna see the truth." Barbosa had shocked Jack with his insightful little speech. He had never known the man was so observant. However, it was true.

"Hmmm…. Maybe your right." Jack thought and a glimmer of hope began to shine through.

~[~

So plausible enough? Reviews appreciated.