Well hello! I see you've found a new fic I'm working on. This is a co-write with Butterknifeking. If he does any Author's Notes his will be underlined as well as Bold and Italics.
All characters belong to Marvel and we are simply using them as a means to both entertain ourselves and our viewers. We understand that other characters make appearances but seeing as the Avengers are the main focus and the other characters have smaller rolls this will only be under the Avengers category. If you have a hard time understanding this or intend to give us loads of unwanted complaints due to the above statement please leave so as not to make me, a writer, turn into a raging monster that will likely make you cry. You have been warned. They're all in their second year of high school so they're 15-16.
Tony strolled through the halls of SHIELD High with his red and gold backpack over his right shoulder. He hated school, no matter if he was a genius or not, he couldn't stand it. There were people around every corner, just waiting to judge him.
He spotted a familiar head of blonde hair and made his way over to his friend. Slinging his arm over the blonde's shoulder he made his presence known with a loud, "Miss me?"
The blonde turned to him in exasperation. "Really Tony? I'm not allowed to speak with my own friends anymore?"
"Oh come on Steve," Tony smirked. "You know you love me."
With a roll of his eyes Steve turned back to the brunette girl. "I'm sorry Peggy, if you'll excuse him." Steve shrugged Tony's arm off and said a quick goodbye to Peggy.
"So," Tony grinned. "You fondue?" He said this teasingly, knowing that the blonde would get flustered.
Steve flushed scarlet and shook his head quickly. "No, we aren't like that! We're just friends."
Tony raised a formed eyebrow at the confused blonde. "Steve, fondue is-"
"I am here!" A loud voice interrupted from behind them and a heavy weight barrelled into them.
"Thor," Tony grumbled as he heaved himself up from the floor and helped Steve gather his books. "Next time don't bulldoze us, all right Point Break?"
Thor grinned meekly. "I am sorry, my friends, but I have not seen you since last year." He glanced behind him to a black haired boy. "My brother has joined us this year-"
"Against my will you oaf." The aforementioned black haired boy scowled, his arms in what seemed to be a permanent cross. "Damn your father, hear me?"
"Wow, cool off Reindeer Games," Tony held his hands out in surrender.
"I am no flying deer."
"Loki, it is a nickname," Thor grinned. His electric blue eyes sparkled as he spotted another of his friends. He was quite popular and made friends like a crack of lightning.
Loki rolled his eyes. "If you'll excuse me I'll be in class," his eyes flicked to the paper schedule in his hand, "which happens to be chemistry." With that said he strolled of towards the classroom.
Bruce was already in the chemistry class, looking for peace and quiet. He was practicing his breathing and meditation to calm himself down. He never liked school much; too many people for his taste but the knowledge they provided was very good.
Loki stomped into the classroom with Tony close behind. He was grumbling to himself about how Tony just never shuts up.
Bruce looked up, his face a little warm, "Hey you, who heck are you? Don't take this the wrong way, but whoever you are, back off. Dealing with Tony is already a big enough chore."
Loki sneered at Bruce unkindly. "I never asked for this. He just assumed that, seeing as we share this class it automatically makes us friends." Loki growled slightly as he stormed to the back of the class and settled into a chair.
Tony raised an eyebrow before coming to sit beside Bruce. "Somebody woke up in the wrong bed." He turned to Bruce and grinned. "How've you been, Angry Rage Monster?"
"I was just fine until I once again found myself in the condemnation that is your presence." Bruce grumbled, face becoming hotter with each moment spent in Tony's company. He tried to pretend to look at the pictures in the chemistry textbook, but all he could think about was how much he wanted to punch Tony in the face.
Tony waved off the indirect insult and peered over Bruce's shoulder. "The chemical formula of sodium phosphate, nice." He looked to the front of the classroom where a black board and a pack of chalk sat just begging to be used. "You don't actually think we're going to be making that do you?"
"I don't know but if we are, I think I know who'll be the rodent," Bruce muttered to himself. He looked away towards the door to see who else wanted to join the Give-Tony-Major-Diarrhea train.
Clint was standing in the doorway with a slight air of amusement. It was always fun to watch Tony piss Bruce off, even if it ended with someone in the hospital–typically that someone was Tony–and about a thousand dollars worth of damage. He strolled over and put an arm around Bruce's shoulders. "We plotting something that'll land him in the White House?"
Bruce looked up at Clint. He didn't really hate Clint, at least Clint wasn't as big of a prick as Tony. "If you want to join me on my endeavour by all means be my guest, but I won't guarantee it'll be clean," Bruce said in an undertone, his face softening. 'Least I've got something to look forward to,' He thought.
Clint smirked and drew back, clapping his hands together in a cynical fashion. "Oh the fun to be had," he smirked widely. He waved a flippant hand at Tony's outraged cry.
"Guys!" Tony scowled at them. "I'm right here you know!"
The retort that sat on the tip of Clint's tongue like a predatory bird waiting to strike was shot down when a pair of boys walked in. They were talking animatedly with each other as they drew nearer. Hazel eyes flicked over the three in an almost judging manner as the two brown haired boys moved to sit together.
"-how about genetically modified spiders," the other asked.
"Not sure," said the hazel eyed boy before their voices became too quiet to hear.
Tony's face lit up. "Genetically modified spiders? Dude, I should do that!"
"You should not," Clint growled. "Remember the last bug experiment you did Stark?"
"How could I not? You were bald for, what, a month was it?" Tony smirked up at Clint in a devious fashion. "Thanks for being my guinea pig for that one."
"Unwilling, might I add." Clint all but bared his teeth. "I never want headlice again, thank you."
"Hell, we can't trust you with any living thing. Remember Logan? Do you Stark?"
Tony blinked. "You mean the dog?" His nose scrunched in thought. "He almost clawed me apart with those damned metal claws that I gave him."
"Maybe you shouldn't have shoved all those medications up his rectum," said a disgruntled Bruce. "Besides, what did you do to that god forsaken creature? Where the hell–how the hell–did you even get all that metal into that poor thing's skeleton? Was that even legal?"
"Probably not," Tony shrugged, "but you have to admit it's pretty damn cool. There's claw marks on the metal door."
Clint scoffed. "You're hopeless, Stark. A complete basket case, that's what you are." He turned around and went to take a seat at an empty table.
The bell rang, signalling the start of class and cutting all conversation. The students looked around curiously, wondering who SHIELD had gotten to be their willing chemistry teacher.
When Howard Stark walked in everyone turned to Tony, who's jaw dropped near to the floor. He stared at his father who winked before going on his way to start class. He picked up a piece of chalk and tapped it to the board. "My name is Professor Stark," he accompanied this statement by writing it on the board, the chalk squeaking slightly in contentment. "Now can anyone tell me the uses of hydrogen peroxide?"
Tony was too busy staring to even bother raising his hand. His father was teaching? This would be hell. He nudged Bruce, knowing his fellow scientist-chemist-friend would have an answer.
"What? Don't want to look bad in front of your old man?" Bruce couldn't help but relish the situation; Tony was actually embarrassed, very rarely was Tony humbled like this and Bruce wasn't going to pass this moment up, "Do you really want my help Tony? Wouldn't you rather use your genius to figure something out?"
Tony just glared but his father's gaze didn't linger on the duo for long and was quickly sweeping across the class. His eyes stopped on a dark head of hair that was resting on the table. "Son," he made his way through the isles and tapped the student on the shoulder, "could you tell us the uses of hydrogen peroxide?"
Loki lifted his head to gaze steadily at Professor Stark. "Isn't it used to break down blood to make it easier to wash out of clothing?"
Howard nodded. "That can be one use but it's mainly used as an antiseptic, meaning it's used to clean wounds to prevent infection." He walked back to the front of the class and scribbled on the board again. "Now can anyone tell me..."
This would be a long class and Tony couldn't wish hard enough for it to end quickly. He put his head down on the desk and ignored Bruce's persistent jeering.
Steve looked around the lunchroom with his tray of slop they called food until he spotted several familiar heads among the sea of endless faces. He made a beeline for them and settled himself between Clint and Tony who were arguing over which weapon was better; a ninja sword or a pair of nunchucks.
"Well let Steve decide," Clint announced loudly as he turned to the blonde. "What'll it be Captain?"
Steve stared, wide eyed, before opening his mouth to reply. His response would never be heard though as he was quite rudely interrupted by a thunderous voice.
"I favour the sword of ninja," Thor boomed as he sat down across from them, dragging his brother down beside him. "The chucks of nun are no match for a sword of ninja."
Tony smirked at Clint who simply rolled his eyes at the louder teen's antics. The thunderer smiled and stuffed a rather large forkful of slop into his mouth. Tony took on a disgusted face and shoved his tray away only for it to be scooped up eagerly by Thor himself.
"I think I've lost my appetite," Clint murmured. "Would you like my lunch as well?"
"Please!" Thor's eyes brightened and he took the offered tray.
"Don't eat too much," Steve warned, poking at his food with the end of his fork, "you don't want to make yourself sick."
"Please," Loki scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Thor has the digestive system of a cow, he would eat the table and he'd still be able to eat your shoes without getting sick."
Steve turned a pale green, abandoning his food all together. "No one wanted to know that," Tony said, faking a gag as he glanced sideways at Steve.
"Are you going to eat that," Thor asked, pointing his fork at Steve's tray as he spoke with a full mouth.
"Not anymore." Steve pushed the light blue plastic tray towards the buff blonde and watched in awed disgust as he happily ate.
"Actually Tony, I wouldn't mind running a couple tests on his digestive system," Muttered Bruce in an undertone. "You in?"
"When have I ever not been in on a science project of yours?" Tony grinned. "I'm certain I've got the proper equipment in my lab back at home, how about you come over to spend the night?"
"Perhaps, but how are we going to lure him into this project?" Bruce said to himself thoughtfully
"I've got a couple boxes of Poptarts that I haven't eaten," Tony said, glancing sidelong at Thor to see his face light up once more.
"I am in! We should all go to Stark's house for a sleepover then." Thor offered.
"I'm sure dad wouldn't mind," Tony said.
"Sure dad wouldn't mind what," Professor Stark asked, standing behind Tony and Bruce.
Tony tensed before turning about to look up at his father. "Would you mind if the gang came over tonight for a sleepover and so Bruce and I can run some tests on Thor's digestive system?"
Howard gave a thoughtful hum before beaming. "I don't see why not." He ruffled Tony's hair, much to the younger Stark's distress, before wandering off.
Tony scowled as he tried to flatted his normally mussed hair. "That was uncalled for, he could've left my hair well enough alone."
"I think it looks better that way," Clint snorted.
"Very funny Barton." Tony growled dangerously.
"Your dad isn't a bad guy, you're just being childish. Afterall, he is allowing us to do this experiment. What's your deal?" Said Bruce, not looking up from his food as he prodded it.
"He messed up my hair," Tony whined.
"Come off it Stark," Clint sighed. "Not everything has to be about you."
There was an amused snort from Steve which he quickly tried to cover up. "Sorry, did you just tell Stark, the drama queen, that not everything has to be about him?"
Clint blinked as if he was just now processing his own words. "Dear god I did."
Loki was staring at them all in confusion but he didn't say anything. He simply sat and watched as their madness unfolded. This group of babbling buffoons, minus his moron brother who was stuffing his face with near-toxic school 'food', were supposedly best friends. He couldn't see it and he doubted he ever would.
People ran about and Loki was watching a pair of students chase each other about, weaving through and dodging tables. One was a jock in his football uniform and the other was harder to place. The blonde, the one not in the uniform, was running from the jock who called after him angrily as he scooped up a sloppy blob of what was supposed to resemble mashed potatoes. "Hey hot head!" He growled chucking it as hard as he could.
The blonde ducked as the potatoes hit a black haired kid in the back of the head. The blonde froze. "Shit! You pissed off Doom!" He scrambled away and Loki lost interest, returning his attention to the others at his table.
Tony was saying something about everyone loving him. "Likely," Clint snorted. Steve simply rolled his eyes.
"If everyone loves Stark," Thor said, confusion evident in his eyebrows, "then why is it that many people wish him dead or permanently incapacitated?"
"Shut up Point Break," Tony mumbled, fingers twitching on the top of the table.
"For someone who's loved by everyone, you sure aren't a people person are you Stark," scoffed Bruce.
Tony glanced at him coldly, chocolate eyes as dark as the coffee he drank. He was relieved when the bell rang, dismissing them to the last classes of the day. Tony shared Biology with Thor and then World History with Steve before the day was over. He stood quickly and waited while Thor tossed his trays before they walked to class together.
Tony waited impatiently in front of the school for his friends to gather. Clint, as always, had been the first to show up, having already called his parents and gotten their consent. Thor and Loki were next, the latter being absolutely appalled at the prospect of having to spend more time with his brother's friends. Bruce had showed up after them, not having to worry about contacting his parents because he'd already done so on the way to class after lunch.
Steve was last, walking over with his phone pressed to his ear. "Yeah Buck," he was saying as he came close enough for them to hear. "He's a friend." Tony raised an eyebrow and Steve waved him off. "Yes, I'll call if I need anything and I'll call when I get there, before we go to bed, and as soon as I wake up." He grinned meekly, "Don't get your boxers in a twist, I'll be fine." After saying his goodbyes he ended the call and slipped the phone in his pocket.
"That's new," Tony said.
"Yeah, I got it on my birthday so I'm still learning how to use it."
They all climbed inside Howard's van instead of riding the bus. The car ride was relatively silent, aside from the cheerful singalong that happened every now and then when certain songs came on.
They pulled up to Stark Manor and piled out of the car. Loki stared in awe before plastering on a face of indifference. The house that he currently lived in was close to the same size but it was still a shock.
Tony held out his arms as he turned to them, the wind blowing the top of his school uniform lightly. "Welcome to Stark Manor," he smirked before leading them inside.
The inside was just as impressive as the out and everyone but Bruce, who had been over on more than one occasion, was pausing and trying to drink it all in. Bruce just walked past them and made his way to the kitchen where he helped himself to the various assortments of soft drinks.
Tony waved them in and away from the door as his father closed it behind them. "Try not to destroy the house too badly, son," Howard said before he disappeared down the hall to his study.
Clint was the first to speak. "I knew you were rich and everything but this is..." He glanced around again. "This is... Damn." He whistled and ran his fingers over the edge of the hallway table.
Loki snorted. "If you think this is much you should see our place."
"Brother, you know what father would say." Thor warned as he turned to Tony. "It is a very nice place you have, I am humbled you have invited us."
Tony grinned, "I'm glad you guys like the entryway, you should wait until you see the rest of the house."
"The rest of- oh somebody catch me now I think I might faint," Clint pretended to swoon and Thor caught him.
Steve was still looking around, wide eyed to take in every detail. His eyes rested on Tony and he looked as if he wanted to say something but couldn't link his words correctly. Tony stared back. "Take a picture Steve, it lasts longer."
Stevens cheeks flushed. "C-can I have permission to draw this?"
Tony grinned, "Of course!"
The rest of the tour went something like this and Tony left them in the living room before disappearing to get sleeping bags. Steve was still looking around in wonder, Thor was focused on what seemed to be freckles on his outside wrist, Loki was examining his nails as if he had nothing better to do, and Clint was trying to climb on top of the large, sturdy, oak television stand.
Tony returned shortly after with six sleeping bags. "Here you go," he handed one to each person.
Steve's was stripped red and white with blue stars dancing about, Clint's was black and purple, Thor's was red and silver, and Loki's was green black and gold. Tony left two out, one for him and one for Bruce. The one he left for Bruce was green and purple, and his was red gold and cerulean.
"Video games are in the cabinets, the systems are behind the door in the stand to the right of the television, left if you're looking at it, and I'll be in my lab. Come on Thor." Tony pulled Thor up from the couch and pushed him towards his lab, barely aware of Steve pulling his phone out and dialling 'Buck.'
"This is amazing," Bruce said as he examined the charts and graphs in front of him from behind his glasses. "His digestive system is more advanced than I've ever seen before."
Tony glanced over Bruce's shoulder then up at Thor who was playing absently with a screwdriver that had been left on the table. "It seems as though he could eat anything," Tony mused.
"Stark," Bruce warned. "I won't allow it, this is human experimentation you're talking about. Running tests on digestive systems or even neurological functions is a different level all together but actually experimenting is out of the question. What would you do if he suddenly sprouted a tail and fluffy ears?" Tony opened his mouth to answer but Bruce stopped him. "Don't answer that."
Tony closed his mouth and Thor's stomach rumbled loudly. "I'll go get those Poptarts," Tony said before leaving the room.
Thor rubbed his stomach as if he were calming it. "It will be okay," he mumbled.
Bruce examined him from the corner of his eye, amused that the bulky blonde seemed to be talking to his stomach. He chuckled softly and put down the tablet he was working on. "Thor-"
"My stomach monster is unhappy," Thor said, blue eyes moving up to look at Bruce. "I need food."
"Tony is getting your Poptarts."
Thor beamed. "I like Poptarts," he said, swinging his feet idly as he spun slightly in his chair.
"We all know this," Bruce said, watching the door as it opened to reveal Tony again.
"It took me a bit but I found them," he said, tossing the box into Thor's lap. "Enjoy."
Thor made a happy sound as he tore the box open and took out one of the pouches. He ripped it open, expelling the wrapper onto the floor before shoving one of the strawberry Poptarts into his mouth.
"You didn't put anything 'funny' in those Poptarts, did you Stark? It took you way too long to get those…" Bruce looked suspiciously at Tony.
Tony squinted unhappily at the accusation. "I had to remember where I'd left them, thank you. I don't typically eat Poptarts, they're more of a snack when I haven't eaten in a while and I get hungry while working on a project." He scrunched his nose. "We should probably get back to the others soon." He looked up at the ceiling, "JARVIS, what's going on up there?"
"Nothing much, Sir. Loki has been playing 'Mortal Kombat' the entire time, Clint has successfully climbed on top of the television stand, Cutie-McFlufferbottoms has relayed the knowledge of his arrival to someone on the phone and has been sitting on the couch watching Loki. Will that be all, Sir?"
"Surprisingly, no. Who the hell programed you to call Steve 'Cutie-McFlufferbottoms?'" His cheeks were red as he said this.
"You did, Sir."
Bruce coughs.
Tony laughed nervously. "Well, change his name back to 'Steve,' I don't even recall telling you to call him... That horrid nickname."
"You were sleep deprived, Sir. You had been working on a project and had been looking through your yearbook."
"Um Stark, is there something going on between you and Steve, I mean I know we get under each other's skin but you can tell me anything." Bruce said as friendly as he could.
Tony just laughed and waved it off, pushing Thor along as they headed towards the living room. "It's nothing. Just forget about it."
Thor looked thoroughly confused by all of this and voiced his confusion to the other two. "I am confused, is Stark smitten with Steve?"
Tony choked on his breath of air. "Shut the hell up or I'll take you back to the lab and cut your tongue out." He crossed his arms defiantly. "There is nothing going on between me and Captain Clueless."
Thor's jaw snapped closed with an audible pop. He rather liked his tongue, it allowed him to taste the wonderful magical flavour of his Poptarts.
"That's what I thought," Tony grumbled, ignoring them both as he joined the others in the living room.
Alrighty! So, chapter one. Just a couple of things to point out, I guess.
Guests: Peggy Carter, Bucky Barnes, Howard Stark (Captain America), Peter Parker and Harry Osborn (Spiderman), Logan (X-Men), Ben, Johnny Storm, and Victor Von Doom (Fantastic Four)
White House: my slang term for Hospital
So, feel free to tell us what you think!
Parts done by me: everyone but Bruce. And a little bit of Bruce.
Parts done by Butterknifeking: Bruce Banner
What can I say, the Cat Goddess is always my master.
Lol, don't give them any ideas! *starts packing and running away to Canada* I'm being embarrassed! ~Cat.
And remember; winners don't do drugs ~Butter.
