"The Kiss That Lingered"
by cay-z
Author's note: Before reading this, I would advice you to first read (and review .) I love you because I hate you.
Just because you might get a bit confused. Oh and please don't hate me for making a point in something so shocking... .
Enjoy .
Oh! Fair warning, I love you because i hate you is what happened before this story in Shinn's pov, Cagalli and Athrun's pre-the lingering kiss pov story? Well, they're coming up. i just really had the itch to publish this. Now it's your decision to go on or just wait for Cagalli and Athrun. Honestly I think that this story stands on its own with i love you because i hate you, but it would show a whole lot more sense if you would wait for Cagalli and Athrun...
Or maybe it won't... hmmmmm...
Chapter 1: Shinn Asuka
I left her there, not wanting to look back. I just left her there.
I hate you because I love you…
When I turned the corner, I ran. She wasn't following me, but she could have been. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, and being a coordinator, it was a very far run. I ran away.
I hate you because I love you…
I tried to make myself believe that I hadn't done it, that I said nothing to her.
I hate you because I love you…
But nothing can change the facts. It happened, I did it, I told her.
I hate you because I love you…
How I felt for her.
I hate you because I love you…
I hated her because I loved her.
I hate you because I love you…
I ran, ran far away, from the battle in my heart. She should be nothing to me, nothing.
I hate you because I love you…
I should stop my feelings for her from growing any more, I have to destroy those feelings. I ran.
I hate you because I love you…
I ran as far as I can get. I shouldn't get attached to her.
I hate you because I love you…
She belonged to someone.
I hate you because I love you…
She belonged to Orb, she belonged to him.
I hate you because I love you…
I could never win her, never have her.
I hate you because I love you…
From the only battle that I could never win.
I hate you because I love you…
Chapter 2: Cagalli Yula Attha
I hate you because I love you…
I stood there alone, my hand clutching my chest, my breathing hard and sharp.
I hate you because I love you…
I leaned on the wall, not able to support my own weight. I felt myself slide down, but I let it.
I hate you because I love you…
I just sat there. Letting the words sink in, he said he loved me.
I hate you because I love you…
He left after what he did, he just left, without any other explanation.
I hate you because I love you…
Athrun has never told me he loved me. I wanted to cry, but I promised myself I would be strong.
I hate you because I love you…
I shouldn't be confused like this. Just because he said those things. I'm Cagalli Yula Attha, the lioness of Orb, I should be able to handle this.
I hate you because I love you…
This shouldn't bother me the least.
I hate you because I love you…
But why in the world did it? I felt confused, so confused.
I hate you because I love you…
He hates me because he loves me. Should I be feeling regret for asking him? If I hadn't I wouldn't have found out, he wouldn't have told me.
I hate you because I love you…
But somehow, I felt relieved.
I hate you because I love you…
He hates me…
I hate you because I love you…
Because he loves me…
I hate you because I love you…
He may hate me, but he said he loves me.
I hate you because I love you…
Athrun never said he loved me. He never told me he loved me.
I hate you because I love you…
His words kept repeating itself in my head like a broken record. I wanted it to stop.
I hate you because I love you…
But I can't.
I hate you because I love you…
And oddly enough, I feel like I'm enjoying it. Should I be?
I hate you because I love you…
I tried closing my eyes to make it stop, but it doesn't. It gets stronger.
I hate you because I love you…
I tried thinking of Athrun, picturing me in his arms, my head in his chest.
I hate you because I love you…
But when I would look up, it wasn't Athrun, it was him.
I hate you because I love you…
When I looked up, I saw ruby red eyes, not green. I saw raven black hair, not dark blue.
I had to get away.
I stood up awkwardly, leaning hard on the wall.
I hate you because I love you…
I walked to the room I shared with Athrun, I walked slowly.
I hate you because I love you…
When I went in, Athrun wasn't there. Maybe he was still down at the hangar.
I hate you because I love you…
I flopped down on his bed, burying my head into his pillow, trying to get the scent of his hair. It was there.
I hate you because I love you…
I took a long hard whiff of it.
I hate you because I love you…
I wrapped myself in his blanket.
I hate you because I love you…
And closed my eyes, trying so hard to get those words out of my head.
I hate you because I love you…
But I can't. I could never. He said he loved me, but I love someone else. Then why am I feeling this?
I hate you because I love you…
How come I feel this way?
I am so confused.
Chapter 3: Athrun Zala
I hate you because I love you…
I hate him.
I hate you because I love you…
He had no right to do it.
I hate you because I love you…
But then why am I not chasing him?
I hate you because I love you…
Why do I just stare at her and not hurt him?
I hate you because I love you…
He pushed himself unto her, I should be chasing him, punching him the least.
I hate you because I love you…
But I just stare at her.
I hate you because I love you…
That's what he said. And I hate him for it. How dare he touch her like that? He had no right whatsoever. None whatsoever.
I hate you because I love you…
I stared at her, leaning on the wall. She started sliding down. I wanted to grab her, support her like what I should really be doing. But I just stared down at her.
I hate you because I love you…
I stared long and hard, and when she stood up, and when she started walking, I followed her. In the shadows, I followed her.
I hate you because I love you…
I didn't want her to see me, not yet.
I hate you because I love you…
Not just yet. I saw her enter our room, still silent, very much still.
I hate you because I love you…
And I just stood there. I wanted to go inside, but what should I do? Should I tell her I saw what happened? Or should I act like nothing happened? Like I was very much oblivious of how he felt for her?
I hate you because I love you…
I was relieved when I found out that Kira was her brother, relieved when I found out that only a handful of guys including me actually preferred fiery girls like her, I was relieved to have her.
I hate you because I love you…
I love her too.
I hate you because I love you…
I love her more.
I hate you because I love you…
He can't have her.
I hate you because I love you…
I took a deep breath, opened our door, and stepped in. She was laying down on my bed, her head buried in my pillow, her body wrapped in my blanket.
I hate you because I love you…
She lay still, eyes closed.
I hate you because I love you…
I sat down beside her, stroking her blonde hair, letting her hair fall through my fingers. She looked up at me, her eyes wide and tired.
I hate you because I love you…
I gathered her up in my arms, then kissed her, hard on the lips.
I hate you because I love you…
I may not be able to say it, but it's there.
I hate you because I love you…
She wrapped her hands at the back of my neck.
I hate you because I love you…
He can never have her. He may be able to say it, but she's mine. He can never have her because…
I love her.
