Peace and Quiet

I felt completely and utterly exhausted. It wasn't just the long nights of spying for the Order, of the early mornings of brewing for the Hospital wing and making sure that Lupin go his potion. It wasn't even the days of teaching dunderheads and then struggling to mark their essays and tests at night. All of that, I could handle. I just couldn't handle all of it at once.

Now there was even more to handle. I'd been away all weekend, my chambers were still a mess from the haste I' left in Friday evening. The Dark Lord had demanded another batch of potions and it had taken me until Monday morning, he hadn't let me leave until he received the box of vials and seen all of them tested, then I could walk to the edge of the property, apparate to the edge of Hogwarts and walk up to the castle.

It was pouring rain and I shrank my Death Eater robes and mask and slipped them into the pocket of my thin under robe. It took me less than a second to feel soaked to the bone. The water ran down my hair and into my clothes, almost as if I had suddenly decided to go swimming, only the water was colder than anything I would ever swim in.

Finally the doors in front of me opened and I slipped into the Entrance hall, water pooling on the floor around me. Mrs. Norris hissed at me from the shadows. If I had been a student there would be hell to pay for all the water I was dripping on the floor. Now I didn't care.

I took a moment to sit and rest on one of the benches off to the side. My chest was heaving from apparating and running up to the castle. Now all I wanted to do was collapse in my own warm, dry bed. But classes would be starting in just under two hours and I still had marking and preparations to do.

The first class of the day wasn't so bad. My seventh year NEWT class only had twelve students in it and all of them could be trusted to brew on their own. I spelled the potion and page number onto the board and sat back down to my marking. There was a third year Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff class coming in next and these tests should have been given back a week ago, the Ravenclaws especially were starting to get antsy and anxious every class. And they needed to, this was the worst test that had been written all year.

When the bell rang I was sad to see the Seventh years go. There wouldn't be too many more classes left with them and I'd have to put up with another batch of students.

The day dragged on, I skipped lunch to take a walk outside in the rain. The dreary weather matched my mood and the shock of the icy wind and freezing water on my body woke me up again and prepared me for the worst afternoon of the week. Double potions with Slytherin/Gryffindor first years.

They reminded me of all the Death Eaters and the Order and the struggles. And since there was both Death Eater children and Order offspring I had to watch my mouth and walk the fine line of spying yet again. It was harder than facing the Dark Lord. I always knew what he wanted, with them I was at a loss.

Halfway from the class, while trying to avert several disasters at once, I felt a shiver run through my body. It was as if I was still out in the rain. But I had changed after lunch and used a drying and warming charm. There was no reason to still be cold. In fact, I was feeling quite warm.

After stopping two of the dunderheads from releasing a deadly poisonous gas throughout the entire room I had to stop and stifle a cough. There was a tickle in my throat and I wasn't sure how long I could contain it.

I walked through the classroom quickly, taking note of when everyone's potion was and who would be able to succeed in the preparation of the brew. I stopped at the front and charmed the memory out onto a piece of paper, I'd read through it later and give them marks based on that.

A wave of my wand I emptied all the cauldrons. "Class dismissed. For next class, an essay on the properties of moonstone, four rolls of parchment." I noticed, horrified, how hoarse my voice had become.

The dunderheads flooded out, probably going to fool around and cause problems for other teachers. Oh well, they weren't my problem now. I had a big one of my own to deal with.

I used a burst of wandless magic to slam the door shut, sinking to the floor as it left me more drained than I had expected. But with the door secure, I could cough and sniffle in peace. The tickle in my throat became less of a bother and I summoned a handkerchief to take care of my other problem. That was much more comfortable.

I leaned back against my desk, shutting my eyes and taking a few deep breathes. Before I knew it, I was falling asleep, the world disappearing from my senses.

When I awoke, the room was dark and I was freezing cold. The fires had all gone out and the magical lamps hadn't come on, they were motion activated, and no one had been doing any moving around.

I clambered slowly to my feet, holding onto the desk for support. My head was spinning and throbbing as if Hagrid had taken up residence and kick-boxing inside my skull. I wanted to go back to sleep on the floor, but there was work to be done and at the very least a few potions would get me up to form for tomorrow, if not tonight.

There wasn't many potions in the cupboard in my bathroom, I used most of them up a while ago and still hadn't had time to replenish the stock. I downed a flu-be-gone potion and a glass of water. The potion didn't seem to do much good. I was still coughing more frequently then I wanted to and my head still felt a little dizzy. All the potion did was make my nose stop running.

My bed was definitely more comfortable then the floor. I didn't bother to move my clothes, lying right on top of them and charming the blanket to come out and cover me. That made things warmer, but only marginality.

Sleep wasn't as restful or as healing as I'd hoped for. I woke up what seemed to be every few minutes for something. A drink, the lav, another dose of potion, more coughing. If only there had been a single dose of cough syrup left . . .

Finally I fell into a deep enough sleep that even coughing wouldn't wake me up. Instead the dreams did. Children, animals, women and men. All of them appearing before the Dark Lord. All of them dying agonising deaths from potions I had made. There was nothing I could do. The worst part was knowing the at sometime, that was actually going to happen. More blood on my soul. Deaths in my mind.

At one point I woke up screaming, the light was starting to stream in through my magicked window and I charmed the blind shut. Then, since I was awake, I turned the alarm off and rolled over, intending to close my eyes for only a moment.

And indeed, it seemed like only a moment had past when someone started shaking me, demanding that I open my eyes and pay attention. All the things I didn't want to do. Finally I opened my eyes, hoping that whoever it was would go away now.

"Oh Severus. Why ever did you let it get this bad? You should have come to the Hospital wing the second you got back!"

I groaned and closed my eyes, it started off another round of coughing. Joy, the last thing I wanted for a reason for Poppy Pomfrey to move me to the Hospital wing or connect me to one of her horrible IV machines. She'd had me hooked to one last time I was ill and the thing felt like a dragon had taken a huge bite into my hand.

"Just give me a moment and then you may return to your sleep." There was the unsettling feeling of a diagnostic spell and then the clanking of glass vials as she selected potions for me. "Here you are Severus."

The interfering mediwitch helped me into a semi-sitting position and held the vials to my lips so all I had to do was swallow. By the time I had taken enough potions to satisfy her I felt as if every time I moved the potions inside me should audibly slosh and splash around.

Pomfrey slipped a wrist band onto my arm, frowning at my thinness once again. "I've got to leave you now Severus. The band will alert me if your fever rises any more. Try to get some more sleep." She laid another warm blanket over top of me and floo'd back to the Hospital wing.

I let my head crash back against my pillow. Now I could relax and sleep. No more coughs or pain. Just peace and quiet.