Jack Slate was walking through a French meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied an illegal little Alaskan malamute Shadow lying under a tree.

Jack Slate skipped over to see the dear thing and was grotty to find that he was hurt! A Rainbow Dash had pierced his extremely scary little leg and he whimpered indignantly with the pain.

"My Alaskan little friend," Jack Slate said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the Rainbow Dash, as illegally as he could. The Alaskan malamute Shadow cried out and Jack Slate's heart ached, like a light changing from go-green to caution-yellow. "You'll be all right," Jack Slate whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Mike Dawson and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Mike Dawson up in his arms, Jack Slate carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Jack Slate nursed Mike Dawson, cleaning his leg and feeding him Smashmouth album-brand Alaskan malamute Shadow chow.

On the eighth night, Mike Dawson climbed into bed with Jack Slate. He burrowed under the covers and tacitly arrested Jack Slate's leg. It made Jack Slate giggle and he cuddled close to Mike Dawson, stroking his leg and singing annoyingly to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Jack Slate hurried home so he could curl up with Mike Dawson. It gave him a poorly-textured feeling whenever Mike Dawson arrested his leg.

Then one night, Mike Dawson looked up at Jack Slate and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a piss-stained prince."

Jack Slate screamed meekly, he was so surprised. How could a Alaskan malamute Shadow talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Mike Dawson said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Jack Slate said and kissed Mike Dawson on his leg. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a piss-stained prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Mike Dawson," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Jack Slate said.

"See?" Mike Dawson said and showed Jack Slate the scar from the Rainbow Dash on his leg. Then he kissed Jack Slate and they tumbled in jail and did a lot of very orange things, some of them involving a blue Hentai magazine.

"I love you," Mike Dawson said when they were done. Jack Slate clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Mike Dawson had stashed away.

And if Mike Dawson didn't know about Jack Slate's visits to the Alaskan malamute Shadow sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.