What a mess
by RGoodfellow64
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Disclaimer: Nope, not a chance. Don't even bother reading here but continue to the story.
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Lanie sat in her office and finished signing off on the final report for the late Mr. Hollister. It had been a pretty straight forward homicide and fairly easy to solve, which Lanie appreciated since all the drama going on in the 12th made things difficult for everyone to get through the day.
Something happened. Something bad happened and nobody seemed to know or understand exactly what it was. Esposito and Ryan walked around looking like someone stole their favorite cookie, alternating between anger and betrayal.
Between looking confused and hurt, Kate somehow managed to function as a detective, although not with the same energy as before. If anything, she seemed listless and just going through the motions.
And Castle. No one could figure out just what was going on with him. Out of the blue he seemed to change, becoming the playboy, the wise guy, the…the, Lanie couldn't even think of a proper word to describe the change in Castle. Besides, words were his forte, not hers. She just cut up dead bodies, but lately she felt the urge to cut him up while he was still alive. To cut Richard Castle up into teeny tiny pieces and then record it as 'died of natural causes'.
First, he stopped flirting with Kate, at the same time he started making snarky comments to her while pretending everything was fine. He was constantly serious with her while he still joked with the boys, until he suddenly walked away to work with Slaughter in the Gangs division. The hurt and betrayal on Kate's face and the anger on the boy's was sad for Lanie to see. Even their occasional girl's night out always seemed to turn into a 'what did I do to him, Lanie' night.
It just didn't make any sense.
As she sat at her desk, Lanie noticed movement in the outer room and saw Alexis return from filing her reports. Lanie had to smile at the look on Alexis' face. She was determined to do the best job she could and had managed to impress everyone in the Medical Examiner's office, including Perlmutter, who took a shine to Alexis and patiently helped her learn what she needed in order to intern with the ME's.
Alexis looked up, saw Lanie looking at her, and smiled. That wide open smile that just made everyone who saw it feel good. Alexis was a wonderful young woman and a joy to be around, and Lanie occasionally wondered how she turned out that way with Castle as her father…especially with Castle now acting the way he did years ago.
Suddenly the smile on Alexis' face vanished and a stone visage appeared. As she saw it happen, Lanie immediately thought of the look on Castle's face when he was with Kate.
Although she could see Alexis through the door, Lanie had no idea who had entered the morgue until Alexis spoke.
"Hello, Detective Beckett," Alexis said in a cold voice. Lanie had never heard that tone come from the young woman before.
"Uh, hello Alexis, how are you?" Lanie still had a difficult time hearing Kate like that. Timid and unsure were adjectives she never would have associated with Kate Beckett, but since Castle changed, so had she, at least around Castle and his family.
Her voice still cold, Alexis replied, "I'm well, detective. How may I help you?"
Kate seemed hesitant but then quietly said, "Alexis, I think we've known each other long enough that you can call me Kate."
Alexis tilted her head and looked at the detective, then answered in a voice that even sent chills down Lanie's spine, "I may consider it," all the while giving off the vibe that she would do no such thing.
Since Kate hadn't moved, Lanie slid her chair a bit to the right so she could see her friend through the door. What she saw tore her heart. The look of defeat on Kate's face was painful to see, and her whole body seemed to deflate in the face of Alexis' remark.
Kate lifted her head and gazed at the determined young woman before her. Lanie recalled that things had been going well since the hostage situation at the bank and now both Castles seemed to hate her.
"Alexis…" Kate softly started to say, but Alexis didn't let her finish before she interrupted, "Are you looking for Dr. Parish, detective? She's in her office."
Then before Kate could say anything Alexis added, "Excuse me, but I have important things to do," and then she turned her back on Kate and walked away.
Lanie was shocked to say the least. Just what the hell was going on with Castle that even Alexis would treat Kate this way? She called out to Kate who entered the office and they spoke briefly about the Hollister case before she left to return to the precinct. Lanie had tried to get her to speak about what happened with Alexis, but Kate closed herself up and told Lanie she'd see her later as she got up to leave.
Lanie sat at her desk and stewed. She was angry with Alexis and hurt at the same time. She really liked Alexis; she appreciated the girl's intelligence, determination and compassion. The latter which seemed to be in short supply when Kate was around. A few minutes later Alexis returned from wherever she'd disappeared to, glanced around the morgue and seeing that Kate was gone, a relieved look came on her face and she seemed to deflate…to pull back from defensive mode.
Lanie called her out, "Alexis, will you come in here please?" As Alexis entered the office, Lanie asked her to close the door behind her and take a seat. Alexis sat in the chair, but didn't lean back; instead, she sat near the front edge of the chair, as if she expected something unpleasant. Lanie gathered her thoughts on how to bring up the subject of Kate Beckett because she was going to get to the bottom of this one way or another.
Alexis waited and after a few moments Lanie asked, "What was that all about, Alexis?"
Without moving a muscle Alexis seemed to expand in Lanie's eyes, "I'm not sure I understand what you're asking," Alexis said, while her body language told Lanie that she did know exactly what she meant.
This actually helped Lanie, as she was both surprised and angered by Alexis' play on words, she leaned forward on her desk and said, "I'm talking about the way you behaved when Kate was here a few minutes ago."
Alexis' eyes flashed and Lanie found herself sitting back in her chair. "Have I behaved in an inappropriate way towards Det. Beckett?" Alexis asked.
"Not fully," Lanie replied but Alexis just continued to speak. "Were my words at any time disrespectful?"
"No, not quite, but you have to know the way you behaved hurt her."
"I know she's been through a lot Dr. Parish, I was there when she was shot and I know about her mother, but that doesn't give her the right to treat my father like an appendage. To dismiss him as if he were someone she couldn't be bothered with, when she keeps him here with her."
Lanie was shocked at the vehemence in Alexis' voice but stood up for Kate and said, "Wait a minute there, Alexis, it was your father who called his buddy the mayor and intruded himself into Kate's life. She never asked him to do that."
Alexis' eyes narrowed and she responded with heat, "Of course she wants him there with her…she needs him there. When she left him alone all last summer, when she let him know by her actions she preferred others to his company, he finally got the hint and started to live again. He began to write and went to book signings. He finally got the hint to stay away and what did she do? She came to him. She asked him to come back and follow her around like a puppy!"
"Alexis…"
"I know things have been hard for her, but she stayed with that jerk of a doctor and practically flaunted him in Dad's face." She paused a moment and added, "Since I've been here I know that the character called Schlemming that Dad was going to use in 'Naked Heat' was actually based on Det. Beckett choosing another detective named Demming over my dad. The man has no lips and he has the personality of a door and yet she chose him over Dad." Alexis took a deep breath and said, "I know she's had a hard life but that doesn't mean she can act the way she does, that she can use people and not care about the results of her actions."
Lanie tried to interject but Alexis was on a roll, "I've been an intern here now for a few months and there have been plenty of times I've heard other officers and detectives mock my dad for following Det. Beckett around! Why? Because they all know that Det. Beckett doesn't return the feelings that dad wears for her on his sleeve." Alexis paused and took a breath. "After Dad and Grams had that incident at the bank, I really thought her feelings for him had changed, it actually seemed that she cared for dad the way he cares for her, but I was wrong, and those others were right."
Lanie was shocked by what Alexis said; of course Kate felt the same towards Castle! She'd been going to a shrink just to get herself better so she could return his feelings without messing up. The last few weeks there were tearful phone calls from Kate wondering just what changed, what made Castle change. How could Alexis think…
"What do you mean Alexis, why do you think she doesn't care?"
Alexis sat for a while and Lanie watched as different emotions came and went over the young woman's face. Finally, Alexis replied in a quiet voice, "Dad and Grams don't realize how their voices carry when they talk. I didn't mean to overhear their conversation but I did. I won't break their confidence but I do know for a fact that Det. Beckett has been jerking my dad around for the past four years and he heard her say it."
Alexis closed her eyes and gave a tired sigh; when she opened them, they were no longer cold, but still withheld the warmth Lanie was used to seeing. "I'm sorry Dr. Parish…" she paused a moment then said, "Actually I shouldn't be sorry and I'm not sorry. I guess on some level I can appreciate Detective Beckett's feelings, I know she lost her mother at a young age, I understand it although I can't know how she feels…"
Leaning forward in her chair once again Lanie said, "That's right, you have no idea how it affected her."
"But I almost did, Dr. Parish. Last May my dad almost died trying to save her."
Lanie sat back in her chair, speechless. She'd pretty much forgotten about Castle's attempt to jump in front of Kate and stop the bullet from hitting her.
Alexis continued in a soft voce, "I'm thankful every day that I don't know what Det. Beckett went through…but that doesn't give her a free pass on being selfish and acting the way she does."
"Selfish?" Lanie said in shock. Alexis that woman is one of the least selfish people I know! She always works extra hard to help victims families get closure, the closure she never had."
"Strangers, Dr. Parish. They're strangers. What about her friends? People she knows and works with? Last summer wasn't selfish? After he was always there for her, Det. Beckett cut my dad off with 'I'll call you'."
Lanie tried to say how Kate needed to heal but Alexis just kept on talking. "You've dated so called 'losers' before, haven't you doctor?"
When Lanie nodded her head yes, Alexis said, "What do you say when you want to blow them off without making a scene? 'I'll call you' pretty much means 'I don't want to see you again,' doesn't it?"
Lanie could only nod her head in agreement, as she'd used those same words more than once to get out of seeing someone again, and more importantly, she knew Kate had used them too.
"She might as well have said the same thing to you and Det's Ryan and Esposito."
"How do you know…" Lanie couldn't finish the sentence.
Alexis shook her head, "Even though I've only been interning here for a few months, I hear things. What I heard when I started is that there are still some bad feelings a few officers and detectives here have for her."
Lanie tried to collect her composure. When she called Alexis in she never expected the conversation to go the way it had. "All that aside, it doesn't mean you have to treat Kate as if she has the plague. She has feelings."
Alexis sighed, "Dr. Parish, so do the people she treated so badly, and despite what some may think, so does my dad."
Lanie decided she needed to force the issue and said, "Alexis, I don't know what brought all this on, your behavior changed overnight, and your dad's behavior changed overnight. All I know is I'm not happy with all the changes going on."
"Again, Dr. Parish, did I disrespect Det. Beckett in any way?"
"By words and actions? No. By attitude? Yes. I think you could be a little kinder and more sympathetic when Kate is around."
Alexis sighed and said, "Dr. Parish, I can't do that. I can't be friendly towards someone who treated my dad so badly."
Lanie jumped on that last part, "What did she do? What do you mean treated badly?"
Alexis shook her head, "I'm sorry but I shouldn't have even said that." She paused and took a deep breath before she continued, "Dr. Parish, if my position here depends on changing my feelings towards Det. Beckett, I must with all respect to you, decline, and I will resign as an intern with the Medical Examiners Office."
Lanie couldn't speak. She was shocked that Alexis' feelings were so strong that she'd leave an internship she enjoyed and excelled in performing.
Alexis stood up from her chair and headed to the door, opened it and just before leaving turned to Lanie and said, "If it comes down to a choice, I will choose my father, my family first. Always."
As Alexis left her office and headed to the elevator Lanie kept hearing the last word she spoke, 'Always'. 'Always' was a word that Kate and Castle said to each other with meaning, with more feelings than the word would suggest, but when Alexis spoke it now, Lanie felt she heard an iron door close. The clang almost reverberated through her mind as she watched Alexis walk away. She shook her head and thought, 'Damn Kate, Just what did you do?' Then she realized she was repeating the same words Kate had spoken two nights before, when over wine she'd said, "I just wish I knew what I did, Lanie."
"What a mess," Lanie said to herself as she watched Alexis leave the morgue. "What a mess."
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AUTHORS NOTE: Yeah, not quite up to my usual fluff, huh? I started on this one last spring and worked on it bit by bit over the summer while my writers block kept me from putting more than five words together at a time. Basically I wrote an outline of what I wanted here and it sat for a few months. Then two days ago, suddenly words were flowing and I wrote three pages on a steno pad in longhand.
Alexis would support her father no matter what the circumstances. He was hurting and hurting badly and Alexis, although not knowing all the facts, still supported him in her own way. I wanted to show that with this story. Of course, she had no idea that her father was in the midst of an attack of the stupids. She only knew he was in pain and it was because of Det. Beckett.
I know that angry Alexis has been done before, I just felt that at this time in the Castle/Beckett saga, Alexis hadn't been given the chance to speak her mind. Hope I did her justice.
