Sometimes I express my creativity in different ways. Writing laughable stories is one of those ways. When I need to let my thoughts just flow, I type up fiction of my favorite cartoons. Often I feel guilty for writing "inappropriate" stories revolving around my favorite characters due to my faith/religion. I've recognized that we all have our flaws and our ways of dealing with ourselves. If I write, I must write what pleases me. My deepest apologies to anyone offended by the "sexual nature" of my stories. I'm maturing everyday and sometimes I just can't help myself. Again, pardon me if you are offended by any of my works.


SpongeBob SquarePants listened intently to two customers at a table in the corner of the Krusty Krab. They were fish who were chatting in seductive tones, faces flushed, and fins locked in intimacy.

SpongeBob knew eavesdropping was wrong, but he practically couldn't help himself. These spring vibes were flowing through his veins. His libido was getting stronger with every day of spring and it was driving him to do foolish things.

"Oh, Nancy," a greenish-brown, unspecified breed of fish in dark, buckled trousers cooed warmly.

"Oh, Fredrick," a grey minnow in a white bob and lime green dress gushed.

"Nancy, spring is in the air." He slowly let go of her fins, rubbing his neck with his empty fin in shyness. "Spawning is becoming less taboo each day. We should do just that before spring is over. Y'know, catch up with the schools of salmon headed west and just let it all out."

Nancy, flustered, batted her eyelashes suggestively. "Spawning would be nice, yes."

SpongeBob's mind wasn't focused on the dirty window he was wiping with an old, brown rag. He was secretly leaning towards the table of the two flirting customers. The yellow fellow's heart was beating quicker with every step he took towards the fish. At the risk of being caught, he turned his head away and continued to polish the glass frame.

Seconds later, the two customers dumped the leftover bits of their Krabby Patties into a trashcan and shared a kiss before they left. SpongeBob frowned in disappointment, and brought his hands up to his hold his head in anger. That's when he felt the sweat that was trickling from his pores. His cheeks were also noticeably warm. Was he... aroused by those fish's conversation? Perhaps.

Freaked out by his own biology, the porous creature bolted out of the main room and into Mr. Krabs' office.

"Mr. Krabs, Sir!" SpongeBob cried panicked as he ran up to his boss' desk. "I'm having issues again. Personal issues!" He swiped his fingers along the edge of one of his upper pores, rolling its sticky excrement between said fingers.

The red crustacean laughed heartily before answering his worried employee. "SpongeBob, me boy, ya' know why yer feeling this way, don't ya'?"

"Sorry, Sir, but not really. It's been really hard for me. I can't stop doing what you could call inappropriate things ever since spring came around." He looked down ashamed.

"It be a normal thing, laddie. Spring is the season where all of us sea creatures go into heat." This received a blank stare from SpongeBob. "Y'know, long to reproduce." Another expressionless gaze. "Make babies, SpongeBob!" Mr. Krabs shouted. "Make babies!"

Outside the office...

Squidward could not believe what he was hearing Mr. Krabs shout at SpongeBob. The thoughts that surfaced his mind were too much to bear. He gasped inaudibly before quickly hurling into the cashier boat.

Back inside the office...

The blue-eyed sponge bit his lip in pure embarrassment. Sure, many a time SpongeBob found himself gawking at anemones on television or stalking Squidward while he showered, and his pores leaking as a result. Never, however, had he once thought that this arousal was connected with the desire to reproduce.

"Ah, I remember when I was yer age, boy," Mr. Krabs began, keeping his head down as he silently counted a stack of bright green dollar bills. SpongeBob pulled up a chair to listen to his boss' story. "I was a brave, young crab. Never scared to do the impossible! I banded together a group of tough, young pirates like meself. The rules were simple: always stick together and never be afraid to try something new.

"One day, during the early spring, me and me mateys were feeling a little funny, if ya' know what I mean, SpongeBob. For our group, popularity was, well... popularity! If ya' could attract more mates than any other member, you got to serve a high rank. We held battles in front of ladyfish to see if they'd swoon, and whoever they swooned over got to make eggs with em'. I, meself, had one gal in particular I liked. She'd meet me every evening behind a bush.

"Good times," Mr. Krabs sighed, nostalgia rushing through him from every blood vessel, vein and artery, drowning his heart with waves of distant memories. "Why the barnacles did those good times have to leave me so soon?" The crustacean looked up from his money to converse with his fry cook when he noticed something alarming.

SpongeBob's pores were flooding.


And there you go! That was "Leaky Pores". In case you didn't already know, the two flirting customers are actual characters from the show. The only difference is that they don't interact lovingly throughout canon.

So... Why was I inspired to write this? Well, it is spring of 2018 after all! Animals around the world are reproducing at rapid speeds and I could only imagine how SpongeBob would feel if he was surrounded by fish who spoke of spawning. Ah, spawning. That leads us to my next inspiration. A while back I searched "SpongeBob spawning fanfics" with no relevant results. Nowhere could I find a SpongeBob SquarePants story mentioning the fish of Bikini Bottom's sexual biology. So I wrote "Leaky Pores" for those who have wanted to read the same thing as I have longed to read.

Remember, if you want something done right you have to do it yourself!

Good day, and may God bless you!