Dynasty Warriors: The Truth In-game.
Disclaimer: I don't own DW, it is Koei's.
Summary: SSX ventures in-game to discover the roots of her relationships with everyone BUT Liu Bei…
A.N.: I know fanfiction is ALL about taking liberties and stuff, but here we are with yet another hardened and critical truth.
Oh. And I don't mean to offend anybody, this is just a statement on a fact. After all, statements on facts have been done a few times, right:3
(ahem) Well, I seriously don't mean to attack anybody and apologise in advance. As far as I know, a lot of authors no matter the pairing or plot setting they support are great people. Z Star is one, for example…XD
-Jiangdong, Sun Family Palace…-
Sun Shang Xiang sighed in contentment. She was with the one…s…that she loved. She really couldn't bear to go through the whole trauma of having to deal with a lovelorn person who'd never be her friend again, so our resident sl…uh…seeker of love just got together with all the bishounens of Wu. Gan Ning, Zhou Yu, Zhou Tai, Ling Tong, Lu Xun…Ah yes. The many, the less than proud, the canon. And…the non-canon.
It was a very crowded place, to say the least.
"Remember when we first met, guys?" she asks her followers.
"Oh yes, Shang Xiang our flower…" they all unanimously respond.
"That's right. It was ALL during Chi Bi…"
-The Battle of Chi Bi, any loaded file of Dynasty Warriors …-
Sun Shang Xiang skilfully sliced apart a group of soldiers comedically standing in the pattern of her chakrams as she threw them, slashing them and getting vital upgrade points. That was when she saw…Gan Ning. In trouble.
She quickly rushed to the rogue, slaughtered his soldiers, and in immense gratitude, the pirate responded.
"Thanks! I needed that!"
(A.N.: Dunno WHAT he says to any normal officer)
Pouting, Shang Xiang proceeded to slap him and moved on. She noticed Zhou Tai, however, somewhere else and went to his area. Along with the man with the chrono anomaly for a weapon, she killed enough soldiers to reach the 100 mark. She beamed at Zhou Tai who nodded in approval, saying…
"Not bad…"
A sigh. She then went to Zhou Yu, her family's friend for so long. She should already know the extent of his true feelings, so she approached him, standing beside him, edging closer and closer until he uttered…
"Crush the enemy forces!"
With that, a message flashed that 'Zhou Yu's unit is attacking'.
The girl screamed in frustration and kicked him in the crotch, effectively taking him out of the battle. A deep red message saying 'Zhou Yu's unit has been eliminated' flashed.
She looked for Ling Tong. New to the series. His dashing good looks always warranted some attention from her, and he was just like Gan Ning in that he…
"Don't let up! Pursue the enemy!"
…was utterly indifferent to her. Then, she thought of Lu Xun. Yes, Lu Meng's protégé was young, but he was smart. Yes, a smart boy like that might…
"Let's go! Charge!" he uttered with his AI programming as the dual wielder lunged forward on the same route.
…be utterly indifferent to her. Just like every OTHER programmed and playable bishounen that was in that map, canon and non-canon.
Every original character, every pirate stranded in Wu, every strategist/mage/fighter, every tragic pretty boy, every enigmatic yet alluring stranger, every tragic young man, every long-lost character relative/best friend/rival, every newly-entered-into-battle officer with a natural affinity with a weapon and/or strategy, and every warrior from or having something to do with Japan.
Yes. Even the Japan guys. Every katana, nodachi, daikatana, zanbatou, kusarigama, kama, tachi, and even ninja sword and smoke bomb. The least of their concerns was that they probably weren't around at the time era.
And everytime she got near her family, hoping for an unusually living Sun Ce and a busy Sun Quan to confess some love for her, they addressed her as sister.
The princess let out a scream of frustration.
-Jiangdong, Sun Family Palace…-
An awkward pause. Everybody there gets to thinking.
"What DID we ever see in you anyways?" Zhou Yu asks simply.
"We didn't even talk to you in the BOOK!" Gan Ning expresses.
Zhou Tai nods.
"Me and Jiang Qin went to get you, I think, but you were just the princess…that's all…"
Ling Tong shrugs.
"Well, I dunno about you guys, but seeing as we really aren't here for anything, I suggest we go train or shit like that!"
"Capital idea!" Lu Xun chimes in. Shang Xiang looks in horror.
"No! You can't leave me, not after all we've been through!"
Zhou Tai raises an eyebrow though with his cap/helmet you probably couldn't see it.
"What HAVE we been through?"
With mutters of agreement, her harem of boys…left.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the princess screamed. Then, she spontaneously caught fire as the author teleported there.
"And remember folks," I start to say, "Setting things on fire is a cheap yet funny way to end a story! Oh. And that Sun Shang Xiang has NO canonical interactions with her common Wu-based pairings whatsoever."
The author caught on fire as well.
The End!
