Lloyd could remember soft smiles and kind eyes before Darkley. He could remember the stares when he first arrived at the school. The laughter and teasing that seemed to follow him through the hallways and whispers from behind him in class. Teachers' unimpressed looks when he'd do something too nice. Paper balls with scrawled messages of hate. The annoyed look on the boys' faces when they realized that they had to include him in whatever game they were playing. Lloyd had hated free time.

One day stood out in particular. They had been so excited to get outside to play in the first snowfall. Lazy flakes still floated down as the boys broke up into teams. Gene was always one of the captains. Lloyd always ended up on his team, usually after a rigged coin toss or argument. It had been no different this time. Lloyd had been trying to get snow out of the back of his hoodie while the two teams snapped at each other.

"I always get Lloyd! It's not fair." Gene said.

The other captain shrugged. "So? We don't want him so that means you get him."

"You're just saying that because we're going to kick your butt," one of the captain's friends said.

"Fine." Gene turned to Lloyd, still angry. "You're on my side, but don't get in the way this time or else."

Lloyd gave his hoodie once last shake before joining the others standing by Gene. The game was simple. The courtyard was split down the middle. Six piles of snow had been built up, three with a red flag and three with a blue flag. Whoever could defend their piles of snow the best won. There were only two rules: no fixing or rebuilding the piles and they couldn't use ice in snowballs. Otherwise, it was a free-for-all. Wanted to throw yourself on the enemy's pile to crush it? Sure, why not. Tackle Brad to the ground? Go for it. Lloyd wasn't very good at the game, but he loved it nonetheless.

The two teams split, heading towards the end of their respective sides. They had a few minutes to try and come up with a gameplan before all out war. Gene beckoned everyone close before leaning over to draw in the snow with a gloved finger.

"Here's the plan," Gene began as he poked three holes in the snow. "These are our bases. There's seven of us so I was thinking that maybe we could have someone guarding each." He drew a line then made three more holes on the other side of it. "These are the enemy bases. The rest of us would go for this one." Gene pointed towards the hole closest to the line.

"But what-"

"I'm the captain, so this is what we're doing."

Lloyd snuck a glance at the other team. They had one less person, so that was one less threat. The other boys didn't really consider him a threat, though, so maybe the teams were pretty even. He'd show them this time. Maybe he could single-handedly take out a pile? Wouldn't that show everyone! Lloyd Garmadon could do things right! It just...took time.

Lloyd's team broke up, everyone getting ready. Before Lloyd could move, Gene grabbed the front of his hoodie and dragged him closer. Lloyd moved his head back before Gene's glasses could dig into his cheek. "Alright, loser, listen up." Gene poked him in the chest. "There's no I in team, so don't go throwing away our change to win. Stay back here and, I don't know, make snowballs or something. Just keep out of the way. Got it?"

"Yeah," Lloyd grumbled as Gene let him go. Stupid Gene, who does he think he is? Like Lloyd Garmadon could just sit on the sidelines! Yet his desire to be useful warred with his irritation. It wouldn't be so bad to sit this one out and help instead, would it?

There's no I in team, so don't go throwing away our change to win.

He really should have expected it. Lloyd had just been trying to help and then someone shoved him into one of his team's snow piles. Now they were losing and it was all his fault. Gene had looked up at the commotion and his face went really red. There was anger screaming from every inch of him. Fellow teammates scattered when Gene stormed up to Lloyd.

"What are you doing?" He hissed. Lloyd flinched, unsure of what to say. "I thought I told you to stay out of the way!"

Lloyd glanced behind Gene to see that the other team had wandered over to watch too. Oh, no. "I'm sorry, Gene. Someone pushed me-"

"I don't care! You made me lose!"

A call from the school momentarily grabbed everyone's attention. It was time for them all to head back inside. The other team's captain suddenly smile and ran over to them. He leaned over to whisper in Gene's ear. Gene nodded, Lloyd looked on with a sinking feeling in his gut, and then the captain stepped back with that same smile in place. It wasn't a nice smile. Lloyd hated it and what it usually meant.

"Looks like I still can win," Gene said. A small smile played on the boy's lips and Lloyd hated that one all the more. "Hope you don't mind the cold." Then Gene booked it towards the school.

Everyone ran after him. Lloyd struggled to get to his feet - stupid soft snow - to follow them. The boys all hurried inside, leaving just him and Gene still out. Gene was holding the door for him, waiting for him, maybe he hadn't messed up-

Gene slammed the door shut in his face.

Darkley sometimes let the boys go off on field trips. It was rare, but that only made it more of a treat for them. Lloyd loved when they went to tour some of the "evil landmarks". Most of them had been created by or for his father. Standing close to a boulder that had crushed a do-gooder facing down Lord Garmadon made Lloyd feel as if he was standing next to his father...and maybe a little queasy.

Lloyd knew that it sounded sad, and maybe a little disturbing, but it was the closest he could get to the family he knew.

One such trip let them visit the Ninjago Zoo. Lloyd wasn't sure why at first. It wasn't like there was an evil monkey or something equally ridiculous. The Ninjago Zoo had nothing remotely evil - unless you counted the spiders they had. So many spiders.

Then the instructors gathered all the boys in the center of the zoo just before closing. The headmaster smiled at them all and simply said, "Find a way out."

Turns out, leaving a bunch of young kids in the center of a zoo at night and leaving them to find their own way back to the bus was a terrible idea. The headmaster hadn't said anything, but they all knew that there would be consequences for whoever was out last. Lloyd was terrified that he'd be the last one. His fear kept him rooted in place even as the rest of the class ran in every which direction.

He'd get in trouble again, he'd get in trouble again, he'd get in trouble again, not again not again not again-

"Hey, Lloyd?"

Lloyd blinked. To his surprise, Brad was standing in front of him. He looked scared. "Y-yeah?"

Brad shuffled his feet. "Could we, maybe, team up?"

"What?"

"It's not like I'm afraid of the dark or anything. It's just kind of creepy, you know? What if the tigers get out?"

"I-I don't think the tigers can," Lloyd said. His head was still spinning. Brad wanted to team up with him?

"I know, but it would be good to team up just in case."

"Yeah, okay."

Brad's smile was the brightest thing that Lloyd had seen in awhile. He gave the other boy a smile in return. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. They just had to get out before someone else, no problem. Brad was smart, he probably knew a way out. They could do this.

Lloyd jerked after Brad when he took his arm and tugged him towards one of the trails. "Let's go this way and see if we can find a map."

They walked for what felt like forever. They didn't find a map and so they did their best to piece together what they remembered. The zoo was a very different place at night then during the day, though, and they had gotten turned around more than once. Lloyd tapped his fingers along his leg as his walked to try and rid some of the anxious energy building up. Brad didn't seem to be faring much better.

Suddenly a light caught Lloyd's attention. Sharper and a little more yellow then the zoo's streetlamps, there was only one thing it could be - the bus!

"Brad, look!"

The two boys stumbled over themselves in their excitement. Lloyd shared another wide smile with Brad before hurrying towards their freedom. There were a lot of dark shapes just outside of the light. Too many people to be just the instructors, so maybe some of the zoo staff? As they grew closer, Lloyd realized that it was the rest of the class.

They had all made it before them.

Brad realized it too. He grabbed Lloyd's arm, stopping him in his tracks. "Lloyd, everyone's there already."

"I know." What were they going to do?

"What do you think we should do? One of us is going to be the last."

Yeah, okay. Lloyd could just make out Gene. Brad's grip on his sleeve tightened. "Lloyd? We're a team, right? So maybe we could make it together?"

There's no I in team. Gene's voice floated through Lloyd's head.

Lloyd jerked his sleeve out of Brad's fingers. He glanced between his nervous teammate and the party waiting for them.

"I'm sorry," Lloyd said. He spun on his heel and ran.

Brad's shocked cry rang out behind him and Lloyd told himself to ignore it. The group by the bus cheered as Lloyd reached them. Gene offered him a high-five. He felt sick, especially as Brad got to them. The kid looked stricken - and it was because of him.

"We'll only win if we leave him."

"But he's on our side."

"So? That doesn't matter. Winning does."

"So you want to leave him in the woods with a bloody nose and a black eye?"

Lloyd pulled his sleeves over his hands as he listened to the two boys next to him argue. They had been arguing for too long. The sun was setting and they had to get the crystal to the rally point before it was dark. If they stayed any longer, they could get left behind. Again.

The boy that was currently the root of their problems gingerly wiped at his nose and Lloyd winced when more blood gushed out. The kid's name was Ryan or something like that - Lloyd regretted not paying attention earlier when they had been introduced - and he was only a year or so older than Lloyd. He had looked sickly before running into a tree and giving himself a bloody nose. Probably only came because he could pick locks like no one's business. It was obvious that he wasn't meant for running around and stealing.

"I don't care what your gut says. He's slowing us down."

"But we're a team, Nick."

Brad's pained expression came to Lloyd. He sighed. "Maybe we could carry him or something?"

"Yeah, brilliant plan, genius. You'll have to carry him because I sure won't."

"We're a team, so we stick together," Lloyd snapped.

"Well, I don't want to lose. I'm going on ahead. Catch up if you can."

The kid gave him a rude gesture when Lloyd stood up and yelled after him, "There's no I in team! Get back here and help us!"

"There may not be an I in team, but there's one in win. See you, losers!"

It was strange. One moment, he had been homeless and hungry and scared to go to sleep at night. Now? Now he was on a flying ship with color-coded ninja and his absentee uncle and the food was warm and one of the ninja gave him a spare blanket and...and now he was crying. He couldn't stop. Why couldn't he stop? It was just a stupid blanket. But it wasn't. It was a peace offering, a gift, a show of something other than a manipulative gain or favor.

Nya? Lloyd couldn't really remember what his uncle had said her name was, but he was a little overwhelmed so it wasn't his fault. Nya was nice. She said had an extra pillow for him. When he had cried a little, she had given him a hug. It was nice.

When he asked her why she was being so nice to him, she had seemed a little shocked. "Everyone on the Bounty is family to me," she said, "so that makes you family, too."

Lloyd cried a lot that day.

He was the Green Ninja.

He was the Chosen One.

There was a prophecy and a scroll and magic golden weapons. He had seen how everyone had looked at him in disbelief. He couldn't believe it. He was meant to do something, meant to be something. He could be useful, could be worth something, could finally do something.

Lloyd turned to give his father a smile, eyes lit up in amazement. He was important. He wasn't worthless. The kids at Darkley's had been wrong. But the look in his father's eyes didn't look proud or excited or...anything really. Garmadon just seemed...blank. And that's when Lloyd remembered.

He was meant to kill his father.

"Oh," he said.

Then everything was crushing him. He couldn't breathe. Lloyd stepped towards his father, one hand reaching out because that can't be true. They wouldn't ask him to kill his own father would they? Uncle Wu couldn't ask this of him!

Garmadon stepped back and Lloyd felt his world collapse.

Misako had kind eyes and a soft smile. Lloyd wanted to hate her. She had left him, had never even tried to reach out for him. He had been at Darkley's for years. She could have visited at the very least. She had told him that leaving him at the school had been the hardest decision in her life.

She seemed happy, though.

Kai told him not to worry, that family can do weird things for each other in the hopes it will be in their best interests. If Misako had been looking out for his best interests, then why did she leave him at Darkley's? With no idea that his mother was alive and well?

Misako gave him a hug before they had left the museum. "I love you."

"Thanks, Mom," Lloyd had replied. There had been hurt in her eyes at his curt response.

Lloyd had to kill him.

The Overlord had taken his father from him. This wasn't really Lord Garmadon, or at least, that's what everyone kept telling him. But was he really gone?

There was this dark feeling clawing at his stomach. The Overlord hadn't let Garmadon break free on the beach, what chance did he have at reaching through with the Overlord at full strength?

His friends had all said they'd be there for him, but they weren't. They were gone too. Was there hope for them? Lloyd had seen Kai's face when they had run across Nya. Jay had been on the verge of tears. They hadn't even know if the turning was reversible and there had been no hope in the eyes of his friends. Only weary acceptance.

Lloyd knew he had to kill him. He couldn't be selfish. Only the Green Ninja could defeat the Overlord. So he would - he'd kill his father so that Ninjago would be freed.

The ninja deserved the credit for the Overlord. Lloyd knew he wouldn't have been strong enough to do it without them. They didn't listen to him when he tried to tell them that, though. He was only a small part of the team. Honestly, if not for his power, he'd be utterly useless. Sometimes Lloyd wished they'd just tell him that. He hated seeing the looks they'd share when they thought he wasn't looking.

He was out accepting praise while the ninja taught. He'd only just begun his training compared to their experience - it had been pure luck that he had been able to pull at the golden power of his grandfather. If anyone should be handed awards and smiled at as if he were a hero, it should be the guys. Lloyd didn't deserve this. Not at all.

He wished his father was there to at least be a shoulder to lean on, but he and Misako had both left for a monastery. Lloyd could understand his father wanting some space, but - no. It was selfish to even think about. Garmadon had more pressing issues than his floundering son.

Another fan stepped up to him, all smiles and praise. Lloyd wanted to correct them. He smiled back and let them take a picture with him instead. Jay and Kai would love the attention.

They had been keeping the other elemental masters at arm's reach. It had been the ninjas' fault. Lloyd had been so focused on regaining a friend, that he didn't think about making new ones. He ignored the sharp comments thrown his way, stopped his team from punching anyone who pushed past him with a little too much force, and did his best to avoid getting himself mixed up in the excitement. Too focused on the mission.

His father pointed out that being closed off would only make more enemies, but Lloyd had felt that it was too late. The elemental masters were gunning for them. Nothing short of a miracle could get them to work together. Kai had been adamant that Skylor was on their side. She was only one of too many more. A start. One less obstacle between them and Zane at the very least.

Then Cole lost and their team was down one more. Lloyd was glad that Jay and Cole had seemingly made up - their fight had gone on long enough - and Jay had needed the confidence boost. Nothing like having a loved one sacrifice themself for you to really get the blood flowing. Huh.

The aches from the roller blade race would take awhile before going away. Lloyd had been glad for the support of his team, but they were still terribly outnumbered. Jay and Kai had done their best to keep the heat off of him. Skylor had abandoned them as had the few others that they had approached.

Then came the miracle. Word spread of Chen's plans and suddenly, the team wasn't alone. They all rallied to support Lloyd. Jay and Kai both looked proud of themselves. They were only getting closer to saving Cole and Zane. Their team would be complete again, and maybe, have a few extras.

Everything hurt. His body ached and there was a dreadful empty pit in his chest. No one could comfort him.

Lloyd had never felt so alone. His family, reunited and pieced together after trauma and suffering, was broken once more. He'd saved his father, pulled him from the darkness. He watched his parents rebuild their relationship. He had watched as his father and uncle reconciled. They could have been happy.

But it seemed that happiness was never in his cards.

His father was dead. Gone. No amount of hope or love could bring him back this time. No one seemed to understand his pain. Lloyd had thought he'd lost his father before. It had been agony to think that he was gone with the small amount of interaction they had prior to the Overlord. Now with the knowledge of what his father was like without the influence of darkness? Lloyd felt like he was going to throw up.

So he left.

No one came to look for him until the team needed the Green Ninja.

Lloyd scribbled out the paper and tossed his pencil onto the seat next to him. So far all of his morning training courses for the ninja had been nothing short of a flop. It was frustrating. He was already stressed. Why was this even necessary for him to do?

He picked up the pencil, flipped to a new page, and stared at the paper as if it had all the solutions.

He tried doodling to clear his mind, but with no luck. It just seemed to stress him out more. Lloyd carefully wrote the team's names one after the other. Huh. He kind of liked how it looked. He kept going down the page with names that popped into his head.

Misako.

His pencil froze.

Lloyd had gone to ask her a question earlier. When he knocked and his mother opened the door, she had that look in her eyes. A flicker of regret. She had been packing, hoping to go find Wu. Why she didn't want to stay was beyond him. Why didn't she want to stay with him? He knew he wasn't a good master, not compared to his father and uncle. He knew he was too young to have this role shoved on him, he knew that he wasn't ready, and now the only pillar he had left was going to leave him.

Did she really care more for Wu than her own son? He needed her.

Lloyd rubbed at his eyes angrily. There was no point crying about it. If his mother wanted to leave, then who was he to stop her? He glared at his page, still looking for answers that weren't there.

Funny, he never really noticed it. There was an I in Misako.