I'm Sorry
Okay seriously this had started out as a very sweet fic! Really! But then as I continued going the 'What if's' popped into my head and just wouldn't leave me alone! And in turn I ended up creating this. So this is a Lindsay/Beth friendship fic with a slight LindsayxChris (cause I just gotta add that in there! =b) and a one sided BethxChris! And if you're like completely wasted and decide to try and read between the lines I guess this could be a LindsayxBeth fic also. Idk, if ur into that sort of thing, I guess. OK enough of my rambeling!
Enjoy!
Beth had a crush on Chris McClean. And not just a little crush mind you. A huge knock out, head over heels, over the moon, just gotta have it kind of crush! She didn't remember when she had fallen hard for the world renowned play boy. Who had been seen on just about every talk show, game show, and guest starred on just as many reality shows. Beth had every scrap of magazine, tabloid, and even newspaper article that the young host has ever been featured in plastered all over her walls. All her friends knew she was obsessed with the idol and Beth was ready to tell anyone who would listen that she was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, completely infatuated with the man! He was the whole reason she had even signed up for the show, just for the chance to meet him. And out of the millions who had sent in their audition tapes for a shot at fame she had been chosen, it must have been fate! Obviously she and Chris had been destined to be together!
The first day of Total Drama Island had been the happiest day of her life! She had been the first to arrive on the island, ecstatic she quickly took in the view of the island before her eyes rested on Chris McClean. She wouldn't freak out she had to play this cool, she would take it slow, she would be herself, and soon she was certain Chris would return her love for her tenfold!
"Beth, what's up!" He greeted with his perfect smile.
His sentence was barely finished before she ran to him excitedly wrapping her arms around him in a light but joyous hug.
"It's so credulous to meet you!" she cried happily as Chris moved away from the hug a frown on his face. Letting go of him she looked to him in awe before saying, "Wooow you're much shorter in real life." Brushing himself of from the hug Chris looked to her raising a brow, she blushed.
"Ahhhh…thanks…" he had said not knowing any other way to respond to that.
She was then placed to stand at the other end of the dock as she waited with bated breath as one by one the other contestants arrived.
She had done it! She had just gone through her first real interaction with Chris! And best of all the millions of butterflies in her stomach hadn't caused her to throw up! The heavens must have really been on her side this time!
Or so she had thought.
Beth remembered Geoff having just arrived and Gwen threatening to puke if either he or Chris said the word 'man' one more time. Then she remembered Chris saying,
"Everyone, this is Lindsay."
And she distinctly remembered her jaw dropping to the ground. It was as if in slow motion that Beth took in Lindsay's appearance from her stylish boots to her shapely body to her blonde hair and her lovely blue eyes. She was…so pretty! Beth didn't believe she had ever seen anyone so gorgeous before! She stared in awe as Lindsay made her way toward Chris, who in turn turned to one of the cameramen and muttered a simple,
"Not too shabby." a grin in place.
Beth blinked a foreign tightening making its way in her gut but watched on in anticipation.
"Hiii," Lindsay said in an almost sing song kind of tone, "Okay, you look so familiar." She said with a smile.
"I'm Chris McClean."
Lindsay frowned bringing a hand to her chin. Chris in turn also frowned at this. Silence followed.
"The host. Of the show." He continued to clarify.
"Ooohh, that's where I know you from." She said with a smile.
"Uuuhhh…yeah." Was all he said ending their meeting.
Beth let out a breath she hadn't known she had been holding.
Later on that same day, however, her worry returned when Chris had been going over the rules of the eight week challenge. When Duncan crudely replied,
"Excuse me! What would the sleeping arrangements be?" His piercing blue eyes shifted to Heather, "Because I'd like to request a bunk under her." He finished jabbing his thumb in her direction.
Hands on her hips Heather ignored him asking, "They're not co-ed are they?"
"Nooo," Chris said with an amused smile, "girls get one side of each cabin and dudes get the other."
It was then that Lindsay raised her hand, "Excuse me Kyle?" she asked sweetly "Can I have the cabin with the lake view since I'm the prettiest?" she finished with a small grin.
Beth felt her eyes narrow slightly at the blonde girl. She decided then that she didn't like her.
"Okay you are," Chris said easily causing Beth to gasp in dismay, "but that's not really how it works here." Lindsay saddened, "And… it's Chris."
As Katie and Sadie began to whine about how they just had to be in the same cabin Beth shot Lindsay a heated glare.
She really didn't like her.
Unexpectedly, almost as though she could feel her glare, Lindsay turned her blue eyes to her curiously. Beth quickly turned her glare down to the ground a slight blush on her cheeks.
Dammit she really was pretty!
~*~*~
But Beth wasn't the type of girl to hold grudges long so about a week later she had just about forgotten all about her disdain over that particular event. Besides it was just a small meeting, looking back on it now Beth realized how dumb she had been. Getting all worked up over nothing! She was quite sure Chris was not into girls who got jealous easily. She had to learn to control herself better.
Besides, when it didn't seem like she was out to steal your man Lindsay seemed nice enough. Maybe a little on the dumb side but otherwise nice. Perhaps she didn't have to hate her… maybe they could even be friends…? And even though girls like Lindsay usually didn't want anything to do with girls like her Beth decided to give it a shot. And she got her chance when she saw Lindsay attempting to stand on her head during the awake-a-thon.
"What are you doing!?" demanded Gwen.
"Trying…to get…the blood to…rush to my head." Lindsay said bringing her eyes together she smiled, "I think its working!"
Beth stared, her hands clasped together, in awe. It wasn't a bad idea really! Excitedly she asked,
"Can I try!?"
Blue eyes looked to her, "Sure!" she smiled.
Happily she took a spot next to the blonde and attempted to stand on her head. It couldn't have been more than two minutes of head standing before Heather called to them,
"Lindsay, Beth. Can I talk to you for a sec?" It was asked nicely enough.
Lindsay grinned, "Sure!"
It wasn't until they had walked a small ways from the other contestants that Heather told them,
"Okay, I have a plan to get me and two other people into the final three and I chose you guys!" The dark haired girl smiled.
"Really!?" Lindsay asked in awe and excitement.
"You should know that this is a very big deal." Continued Heather, "I am placing my trust in you. And trust is a two way street."
Both Lindsay and Beth nodded in agreement to that.
"So you'll do everything I say then?" She pressed.
"Sure!" Lindsay said happily before turning to Beth.
"Eeeeee! We're going to the final three!" she cried.
Beth in turn squealed happily back! This was too good to be true! Someone as cool as Heather had chosen her to take to the final three! She had never been accepted so easily by girls such as Heather and Lindsay! It was as though she were becoming…dare she say it…popular! Later on she would have to remember to rant about it in the confessional booth!
Lindsay moved to look at the other campers saying.
"Speaking of alliances, you know who I think is really cute?" She smiled.
Beth's smile faltered slightly with worry, but it didn't last long as Lindsay's eyes moved to rest on Tyler. Lindsay had a crush on Tyler! Okay she was going to the final three, she had just become friends with the two coolest girls on the island, and she had just found out that she didn't have a rival in love! Today could not possibly get any better!
But then,
"Oh no. No, no, no! You can't date him." Heather said in a superior matter of fact tone.
"Why not?" asked Lindsay.
"Because he's on the other team!" Heather cried out as though Lindsay herself should have already known this.
"Uh huh?" Lindsay said clearly wanting Heather to go into more detail.
Placing her hands on her hips Heather said, "You can't inter team date, it's like against the alliance rules!"
"There are rules?"
Heather approached them saying "Remember what I said about trust Lindsay?" Lindsay and Beth both leaned back slightly intimidated, "Of course, you could always leave the alliance."
Heather crossed her arms, "If you do though, I can't protect you from getting kicked off."
Beth watched on in worry.
"No!" cried the blonde girl, "I-I wanna be in the alliance!"
"Good," said Heather happily, "Then it's settled!" and with that being said she walked back toward where the awake-a-thon was taking place.
Beth said nothing as she made her way to follow Heather back to the other campers, but she couldn't help but feel a little bad for Lindsay as she did so.
The contest resumed to later on in the evening, Lindsay sat hunched over her with her hands propping her head up. Beth sat next to her, her tired gaze shifting to the blonde every now and then. It wasn't until Heather left that Beth decided to speak up.
"I think you and Tyler would make like the cutest couple ever!" she blurted out in a slurred rush.
Lindsay looked to the smaller girl in slight surprise before a tired smile met her lips, "Really?" her blue eyes moved back to the jock asking, "You think so?"
Beth nodded happily before saying, "It's too bad that he's on the other team. I bet otherwise Heather would totally let you date him!"
Lindsay looked to the ground biting her lip as though contemplating something, "Well," she said slowly, "Heather said I couldn't date him…she never said anything about liking him."
Beth stared at Lindsay in awe. Lindsay grinned back nervously, "Just promise me you won't tell Heather ok."
She really trusted her!
Beth smiled back happily, "Don't worry Lindsay! You're secret's safe with me!"
Beth watched as Lindsay let out a breath of relief before saying,
"Gee thanks."
Maybe, they really could be friends. Her smile widening Beth scooted closer to Lindsay before whispering excitedly, "Do you wanna know who I think is cute!?"
Lindsay blinked before moving in close her eyes alight with curiosity. Blushing slightly Beth turned her gaze to rest on Chris as he stood leaning casually against a large metal can watching with amusement as the campers dropped one by one.
"Noo!" Lindsay gasped quietly causing Beth to turn to her, "You like Kyle!?" She whispered excitedly bringing her hand up to hide her smile.
"It's Chris." Beth said crossing her arms defensively "And I happen to think he's really cute! I've had a crush on him for like ever!" she finished gushing slightly.
"He's kind of mean though, don't you think?" Lindsay said her smile still in place.
Beth stared, "How do you mean?"
Lindsay leaned back slightly to rest against her hands, "Well, like today, he made us run for like ever! Then he tricked us into eating all that food just to make us stay up in this contest."
Beth raised a brow, "But he's the host Lindsay, it's his job to make us go through challenges like these."
Lindsay blinked, "Ohhh." She said in slight understanding. "Well in that case, I totally support you and Kyle one hundred percent!"
"His name is Chris, Lindsay." Leaning in again toward the blonde Beth said, "But you have to promise me to, that no matter what you won't tell Heather."
Lindsay nodded, "We'll both keep each other's secrets!" she said before smiling prettily at the brunette. Beth stared in surprise before returning the pretty smile with one of her own.
Lindsay was really easy to get along with.
It was then that Heather made her reappearance a mean smile on her lips and an Mp3 player in her hands.
~*~*~
After that it seemed as though their friendship grew on its own. It was probably the fact that they both confided their secrets to one another and therefore could talk to each other openly about their current crushes. But as the days wore on at the run down camp Beth began to worry about her progress with Chris. It was one thing to admire someone from afar but when ones current obsession was right there in front of you…It could be a little intimidating! Not to mention her lack of opportunities. Chris was barely ever seen on the campgrounds and when he was Beth was either too nervous to say anything or to focused on the current challenge to give it much thought. She had told Lindsay this one day when it was just the two of them in the screaming gophers cabin. With nothing better to do Lindsay sat on Beth's bunk expertly applying makeup on the brunettes face. Beth had allowed this as she complained about her current Chris problem.
"-And it's not like I never get the opportunity to talk to him, but…I always gets so nervous when I'm around him! I don't know what I'm going to do!"
"Um, hm." Was Lindsay's only response as she began to add blush.
Beth furrowed her brow in thought, "Do you think Chris would be impressed at the fact that I costumed designed all of my scout badges?"
Lindsay raised a brow, "Ummm…maybe, "She gave a reassuring smile that turned into a quick frown, "…no."
"What should I do then!?" cried Beth desperate for answers she was sure Lindsay could give.
But the blonde only gave a half shrug before simply saying, "Just talk to him."
Beth frowned.
Every time she asked for Lindsay's opinion or advice she was always met with curt and simple replies that really weren't all that helpful. But Beth knew it wasn't to be mean, she suspected the lack of interest when ever talking about Chris was because Lindsay didn't think to highly of him and rather than insult her crush by speaking her mind she simply kept her comments to a minimum. Lindsay's view on Chris being far to mean hadn't exactly changed since that night during the awake-a-thon and just yesterday when Chris had deflected a dodge ball smack in her face seemed to only help worsen that view.
"That's easy for you to say," Beth said sadly "A girl like you could easily get any guy she wanted just by 'talking to them.'" And she made little air quotes when she used Lindsay's words just for good measure.
"Well," Lindsay grinned, "That is true."
Beth glared.
"But I totally don't get why you're so nervous." Lindsay smiled at Beth her blues eyes softening gently, "You're so totally pretty Beth!"
Beth could only stare in shock. Never in her life had anyone ever said that to her before. Well except of course family…but that's usually just what they said to get you to feel better about yourself. Never had anyone like Lindsay ever said that to her before. She didn't know what to say.
Lindsay only continued to smile saying, "Now hold still." Before moving in close.
Beth quickly jerked back feeling nervous all of a sudden, "W-what are you-!?"
Lindsay glared irritably placing her hand behind the brunettes head to steady her, "I said hold still!" she snapped. Before leaning in again she brought her other hand up holding a tube of lipstick she expertly began to apply it to the smaller girl's lips. Apparently Lindsay took the art of makeup extremely serious!
Once finished she leaned back looking over her work before announcing happily "Finished!" Then reaching into her beauty supply bag she pulled out a mirror and handed it happily to Beth. Taking in her appearance Beth found she was once again at a loss for words,
"Oh…my…god!" She squealed happily at the beautiful girl who now stared back at her through the mirror.
Lindsay smiled proud of her work before saying, "I'd totally like to see Kyle turn you down now!"
Beth blushed a pretty pink before lurching forward to give Lindsay an ecstatic hug which the blonde girl returned happily! They both continued to squeal in delight as, for the moment, some of Beth's confidence was restored.
Unfortunately this was one of the many days Chris did not show up at the campgrounds so whether or not the slight make over would have helped or not was unforeseen. But that didn't stop Beth from parading around the campgrounds like a queen upon her pedestal, for once being the one to look down.
Instead of being the one looked down upon.
~*~*~
As the weeks at the camp continued on Beth found herself becoming more and more attached to the blonde.
And Beth found Lindsay's secret meetings with Tyler to be cute and kind of romantic. Whenever Lindsay would whisper for her to cover for her so she could meet up with the jock she would always come back in a good mood. Though she would be lying if she said she wasn't just a little bit jealous. Lindsay and Tyler's relationship was running so smoothly and she still couldn't work up the courage to talk to Chris yet.
Okay this was getting stupid! She was going to confess her feelings if it was the last thing she did! And she was going to do it tonight!
The sun was just making its way down casting the afternoon to dusk as she set out hoping to find the host. She hadn't looked hard before she saw Lindsay making her way slowly back to the campgrounds. She had been out to another secret meeting with Tyler again. However she was coming back just a little later than usual. Lindsay really liked Tyler but she feared Heather more, so she made sure to never stay out to late with him just in case Heather became suspicious.
Smiling Beth quickened her footsteps to meet the blonde girl half way. Maybe she could help her find the host.
"Lindsay!" She called when she was sure she was within earshot.
Lindsay didn't respond as she continued on her way, Beth was running toward her in plain view but the blonde's gaze was cast downward and she seemed deep in thought.
"Lindsay!" she tried again now just few steps apart from the other girl.
She was still ignored. "Lindsay!" Beth cried now in front of the girl grabbing a firm hold of her wrist.
Lindsay snapped back to earth with a quick, "Yeah, what!?"
Beth furrowed her brow, "What's wrong with you!? I've been calling you're name from all the way over there!" She cried pointing from where she had come from.
Lindsay smiled though it seemed strange to Beth for some reason,
"Oh," She gave a nervous laugh, "Sorry bout that!"
Beth took in the girls slightly pink face, before smiling mischievously, "Sooo," she started slowly deciding to tease the girl, "You were out a lot later than usual, you know."
Lindsay's smile faltered. "I-I ran into someone on the way back from…" She trailed of slowly looking as though she were about to return to her thoughts again.
Beth only grinned not buying that for a second, "Better be careful, Heather doesn't find out!" she continued her teasing with a mean grin in place.
"Ohmygod, NO!!!" cried Lindsay frantically causing Beth to frown.
"Geeze Lindsay," she said slowly slurring her words as she did so, "I was only teasing."
The blonde girl blinked, "T-teasing?" she asked as if the word were foreign to her.
"You know I wouldn't tell Heather on you." Beth said smiling reassuringly.
"R-right…" Lindsay said giving another nervous laugh.
Beth raised a brow at her friend's odd behavior but decided to let it be there were more important things to worry about at the moment!
Taking a deep breath the young girl gave Lindsay a determined look before announcing, "Lindsay, I'm going to do it!"
Lindsay frowned "Do what?"
"I'm finally going to tell Chris how I feel!" Beth didn't notice Lindsay tense suddenly.
"I know it's kinda getting dark, but do you think you could help me find him?"
"No! I can't!" She snapped causing Beth to jump slightly, catching herself she quickly said, "I-I mean, um," She stretched her arms slightly giving a fake yawn, "it's getting pretty late!"
She forced a smile, "I think I'm going to go on to bed!"
Beth frowned, "But I-"
"Goodnight!" Lindsay cried before running of toward the Screaming Gopher's cabins.
Beth watched confused as Lindsay ran clumsily up the cabin stairs tripping on the last step slamming hard against the cabin door with an "Ouch!" before quickly righting herself, flinging the door open, and making her way hastily inside.
The four eyed girl only blinked.
~*~*~
Lindsay seemed okay the next day so Beth didn't dwell too much on the night before.
But she did however notice slight changes with the blonde. Like how her secret meetings had dwindled down to a significant minimum, or how whenever Beth brought up the topic of Chris, Lindsay no longer said anything not even her curt comments. She would literally go silent and now if Beth ever wanted any kind of remark from the blonde girl she usually had to drag it out of her.
And things only became stranger after the Phobia Factor when Tyler was voted of. Beth was slightly confused when Lindsay didn't show too much care in the jock being voted off. But Lindsay only smiled saying,
"It was never anything to serious."
Beth supposed that girls like Lindsay could just hop in and out of relationships like it were nothing.
But…It was just so quick though! Tyler had barely been gone a week and already she was doing some major flirting with Trent!
Beth remembered Lindsay had wanted Trent to ride with them to Boney Island, Trent was cute and he was really nice. So Beth happily partook in getting Trent to ride with them.
She had been looking to the waters ahead so at first she more heard Lindsay than saw her as she said,
"You don't mind if I work on my tan do you?" She asked sweetly, flirtatiously.
Beth slightly turned her head back to find Lindsay leaning back comfortably her head resting in Trent's lap.
"I don't mind one bit." She heard Trent say happily.
She turned her head back to the water's ahead a faint scowl on her face. And her cheeks slightly heated. Beth fumed but didn't have the nerve to say anything Lindsay after all was very alluring.
But still…I mean really Tyler just left. And yeah maybe Beth didn't really understand the art of date 'em and dump 'em like Lindsay did but…something just didn't seem right. Beth continued to watch the two teens through narrowed but covert eyes as they continued their flirtatious comments.
Though it didn't really seem like Lindsay was flirting to get with Trent. The way she was flirting you'd think she was out to prove a point. Or something… or maybe she was just reading too much into things...
~*~*~
Beth would be lying if she said she wasn't secretly pleased that Trent ended up with Gwen. It proved that even Lindsay's usually irresistible charm could fail at times. So when Lindsay walked into the cabin that night after the challenge she couldn't stop herself from saying,
"Well, it looks like Trent and Gwen are hooking up." In an almost smug tone.
But Lindsay only smiled saying, "I know right! I just passed by them sitting out on the dock together. They are soo totally cute together!"
Beth frowned, "Don't you like Trent?"
"What you mean, like-like him?"
Beth nodded.
Lindsay looked away, "No. Not really…not in that way anyway."
"But you were flirting with him on the canoes." Beth slurred.
Lindsay shrugged. "Yeah but it didn't work." She said simply.
Beth furrowed her brow, "What didn't work?"
She watched as Lindsay's face turned slightly red and her blue eyes narrowed slightly, "It…didn't help me forget about him."
Awww so she did miss Tyler! "Lindsay, you shouldn't try to get with other guys just because you miss Tyler."
Lindsay blinked, "I wasn't talking about…" She froze as though just realizing something. She then gave a nervous laugh like that first night Lindsay had been acting strange.
"R-right, Tyler! I was soo totally talking about Tyler, like duh!"
Beth raised a brow. "Lindsay what's-"
"Oh my god I totally forgot I…I'm hungry!"
"…You forgot you were hungry?"
"I'm gonna go get something to eat!" Lindsay said before quickly running out the cabin door.
Beth's gaze followed the blonde with a skeptical look. But she only shrugged going back to the book she had been reading before Lindsay had made her appearance.
Sitting next to her side sat a strange tikki stone she had found at Boney Island.
~*~*~
Lindsay's strange behavior carried on to the next day, she was lost in thought pretty much the whole day and if Beth hadn't known better she would swear Lindsay was avoiding her.
That evening Beth sat out on the front steps of the cabin trying to avoid the tension it held within, Leshawna and Gwen had just had another fight with Heather and Beth only wanted to avoid conflict. She briefly wondered where it was Lindsay had gone off to. Since Lindsay had been avoiding her she hadn't really noticed her absence at first but now as she sat outside with no one to talk to she wished for her ditzy friend's presence.
But no sooner had the thought crossed her mind did she find said girl making her way slowly back toward the cabin.
Smiling she stood up calling, "Hey Lindsay!"
Blue eyes shot up to meet her and Lindsay froze. For a second Beth thought that Lindsay was going to run off with some stupid excuse like 'I think I hear my toaster ringing!' which is what she had pretty much been doing all day. If it had been anyone else, Beth would have wondered.
But the blonde continued on her way toward her. Though if Beth was confused over Lindsay's odd behavior before the confusion only intensified when the first thing out of the blonde's mouth was,
"I'm sorry."
Beth blinked as she sat back down, and Lindsay moved to sit next to her.
"Bout what?" she asked curiously.
Lindsay was silent before turning to her looking as though she had something to tell her then slowly shook her head looking away before muttering,
"Never mind."
It was the first time, as far as she knew, that the blonde had ever kept something from her and she feared what this might mean so when Lindsay hastily attempted to change the subject she allowed it.
She never really liked the words 'I'm sorry' anyway.
~*~*~
As the days continued Lindsay went back to being normal or…went back to being…Lindsay. So Beth had decided to put that particular night in the back of her mind. However Lindsay did start going to bed a lot earlier than usual.
It was the night before tomorrow's challenge when Lindsay crawled into her top bunk already dressed for bed. Heather lay in the bunk beneath her filling out a magazine questioner Gwen and Leshawna were most likely still in the mess hall finishing up dinner.
No longer able to help herself Beth asked, "Lindsay, are you going to bed already?"
"Yup!" Said the blonde girl happily.
Beth gave her head a curious tilt saying, "Wow you sure have been going to sleep early lately."
Not really looking at her Lindsay said, "Yeah…well you know what they say…um…" Lindsay gave a thoughtful look then brightening in remembrance she said, "Early to bed early to rise makes a girl…ummm" she gave another thoughtful look, "Now how did it go again?" she asked no one in particular bringing a finger to her chin in thought.
"It's early to bed early to rise makes a girl great, pretty, and wise." Said Heather still going through her magazine, "Though I don't think any amount of sleep is going to help you with that last part." She muttered.
Lindsay saddened slightly but said nothing as she began to make herself settled under her covers.
Beth shot Heather a glare though it went unnoticed by her since she was still flipping through the magazine. Just as well, she probably wouldn't have had the guts to shoot the glare if Heather had been looking at her anyway.
Later that night Beth was woken from her slumber by a strange sound. She sat up rubbing her eyes groggily, looked around then laid back down snuggling back into her covers. Then she heard it again, a light whimper coming from Lindsay's bunk. And she wasn't the only one apparently.
"What the hell is that noise?" mumbled Heather irritably sitting up in her bunk.
Lindsay shifted in her bunk giving a small moan. Heather looked up to the bunk above her with a scowl on her face.
"Maybe she's having a nightmare." Said Beth quickly finding her glasses and making her way out of her bunk. "I'll wake her up."
Because the last thing she wanted was Heather to start yelling at Lindsay waking up everyone in the process which would no doubt lead to a fight between her and Leshawna and nobody getting any sleep for the remainder of the night.
"Well make it quick!" snapped Heather turning over in her bunk pulling the covers up over her head.
Climbing up the bunk ladder Beth looked down at the blonde girl. She lay in her pink tank top and boxers clutching her pillow tight to her chest her brows knitted together in slight discomfort her hair falling haphazardly around her.
A slight smile found its way on Beth's face as she took in the girl's disheveled appearance. How cute! But her smile quickly fell from her face as Lindsay clutched her pillow tighter against herself giving out another moan, this one louder than the first. Beth blinked before a blush made its way across her cheeks, and then Heather's voice came from below.
"Beth, what the hell are you doing!? Wake her up so she can cut out that weird ass moaning and I can go to bed!"
"Alright already!" cried Beth willing her face to cool down. Reaching out she took a firm hold of Lindsay's shoulder and began to shake her awake.
Lindsay gave another moan this time almost inaudible then she clutched her pillow tighter before mumbling a single name.
"…Chris…"
Beth froze. It had been sweet and silent and a small smile had made its way onto Lindsay's sleeping face. And even more surprising she had called him by his name! Not Kyle, or Chip or any other crazy name she usually pulled from out of nowhere!
It was then that Beth understood.
Taking a steady breath Beth shook Lindsay harder, until finally she was able to arouse the blonde from her sleep.
"Hmmm…?" Lindsay mumbled sleepily as she brought her hand up to rub against her eyes, "Is it morning already?"
"You were moaning in your sleep!" Came Heather's non to happy reply from down below.
"I was?" Asked Lindsay with a thoughtful look on her face before her eyes widened in realization and a dark blush made its way on her face. "Ohmygosh!" she cried.
Beth stared at her with a deep frown on her face before asking in a bitter tone, "What's wrong Lindsay?"
As though just realizing Beth had been there Lindsay turned her wide guilt ridden eyes on the brunette. Beth hadn't meant for her words to come out so harsh but they had, and there was no taking them back. Lindsay stared at her friend at a loss for words and Beth stared back.
It was her last chance.
Lindsay looked away her blush still visible even in the darkened cabin before saying, "Nothing."
Beth scowled her frown deepening, but she couldn't tell what was worse, Lindsay falling for her crush or lying about it.
She said nothing to the blonde girl as she climbed down the bunk before making her way back toward hers.
It took her awhile to go back to sleep.
~*~*~
The next day Beth and Lindsay found themselves sporting cameo hats, glasses, and paintball guns trudging silently through the woods.
"Okay, I so don't get hunting I mean all we've done all day is walk around in circles!" whined Lindsay "We haven't even seen anyone in like forever!"
Beth frowned but said nothing as the blonde continued to rant. She hadn't said much of anything to anyone all day. But it was obvious Lindsay was just talking to avoid a certain topic. Beth brought a bored glare up to rest on the blonde, who continued talking animatedly,
"Why would anyone wanna do this it's soo boring! I even told my friend Melissa's boyfriend, who loves to hunt, that it's totally boring and he said 'No it's not.' And I said 'Yeah it is.' And he said 'No it's not.' And I said 'It totally is!' And he said-"
Beth once again tuned the blonde out. Okay so maybe she was talking just to talk but still…she had to know.
"-And I was like 'Uh-huh!' And he was like, 'Nuh-uh!' And I was like-" A sudden grip on Lindsay's arm caused the girl to stop bringing a startled gaze to rest on Beth.
Her grip was light but firm her gaze cast downward.
"Lindsay, do you…?" She brought her gaze up to meet confused blue eyes. Her nerve faltered a bit, "Um, I mean is there anyone you like?"
Lindsay blinked before smiling, "Well duh! I like everybody!" She looked thoughtful for a moment before saying "Except the other team, but only because they're the competition and Heather says no matter what the competition are not our friends."
Lindsay said smiling as though proud she had remembered something Heather had told her. Continuing on her way she was just about to start up another conversation when Beth's small and hesitant called out,
"That's not what I meant…" Lindsay turned to meet Beth's unreadable gaze.
"Is there someone you…love?"
Blue eyes widened as she blushed furiously crying, "Wh-what are you talking about!?" She tore her gaze away from Beth saying, "I totally don't love anybody!" She looked fretful before mumbling an unsure, "I…I…don't."
Beth glared, at the obvious lie. She wanted to tell Lindsay what she knew, that she was a liar and she wanted to tell her that no matter what she couldn't have Chris because she had fallen for him first! But most of all she just wanted Lindsay to tell her the truth.
Because then maybe she wouldn't have to hate her so much.
But Lindsay only smiled before hastily saying, "Where is this coming from anyway!? Come on, we have to be close to finding a deer from the Killer Bass!" And with that she continued on her way.
Beth looked ready to call out to Lindsay again but decided against it before following sadly behind.
It would pass, she assured herself, Lindsay's crush for Chris would change just as quickly and easily as it had with Tyler and maybe even Trent.
She just had to wait it out is all.
~*~*~
After the paintball challenge it was hard to tell if she and Lindsay were friends anymore. It all seemed to fall apart after she had successfully told off Heather and, according to the more meaner girl, broken the rules of the alliance.
Lindsay, of course, still stayed completely loyal to Heather after the challenge while Beth found Leshawna looking at her in a more accepting light. It wasn't a sure thing as of yet but still it seemed that the two girls friendship was dwindling down to a significant nothing.
Though Beth wasn't ready to believe that yet, even if they hadn't really said anything much to one another since the last challenge she still did really care for the dunce. But the tension and the uncertainty made things difficult and kept the two girls quiet.
However after one particular night Beth was finally able to bring a perspective to the failing friendship when she happened to catch Lindsay sneaking out of the cabin.
She had been coming from the outhouse having to take a midnight leak just in time to see a short glimpse of the blonde girl disappearing into the woods.
She squinted her eye's trying to get a better view, though she was sure it had been her. Her glasses weren't extremely thick just for show! She blinked what on earth was she doing!? Even Lindsay should know better than to go in the woods so late at night! Maybe she was sleepwalking? But it didn't look like she had been asleep and she had been dressed in her regular cloths. Curiosity consumed her as she silently followed after where the blonde had gone.
But after a while of finding no trace of her ditzy friend she was just about ready to give up. It was far too dark and the woods were casting strange shadows making the young girl extremely nervous. Maybe she had returned back to the cabin already?
Leaning forward Beth brought her hands up to rest against a tree. Bringing her gaze up she gasped in shock at the sight she was met with.
There in a small clearing stood her obsession Chris McClean in his arms was her best friend Lindsay. And they stood close together…very close. Her eyes widened and a slight gasp escaped her lips.
They were…!?
Beth watched with wide eyes as Lindsay pressed her lips against Chris's alluring smirk. One of his hands snaking around her waist while the other was brought up to press against the small of the blondes back. Lindsay in turn wrapped her arms around the host's neck leaning further into him. Beth blushed as Lindsay moaned and Chris began to move his hands slowly against her. It was done with an expertise that they both seemed highly accustomed to that had the brunette staring in awe.
Quickly catching herself Beth tore her gaze away from the heated scene she took in a shaky breath before her legs took off like a bolt. She ran toward the cabins her face set with determination, anger and sadness.
Tears rolled effortlessly down her face.
~*~*~
It was the day before the day of their next challenge Beth lay in her bunk staring up at the cabins ceiling. It's pretty much all she had been doing since that fateful night. The girls excluding Heather had all been worried trying to talk to her but Beth only would answer with little to no response. Soon the girls just decided to let her be hoping she would be better by tomorrow's challenge.
It was late afternoon and everyone was out doing their own thing when Lindsay walked into the cabin. Strolling happily to Beth's bunk she called up to the brunette,
"Oh Beeeth", she sing songed, "do you wanna come out to the dock and see this huge fish Geoff caught?"
"No." said Beth flatly.
Lindsay frowned but tried again, "But it's like totally huge! And it's so slippery!" Lindsay giggled, "I bet Geoff would let you touch it before he releases it back into the lake."
"No." Beth repeated in the same tone.
"…Oh ok then." Lindsay said shooting Beth one more worried look before turning to leave out of the cabin.
"I'm so jealous of you." Beth said suddenly causing Lindsay to pause at the cabin's door.
"Girls like you get everything!" She cried slurring her words horribly causing Lindsay to turn to her.
Silence followed before Lindsay admitted,
"I…thought you were totally brave for standing up to Heather the way you did during the last challenge. It's like so weird that you would say you were jealous of me because I'm totally jealous of you."
Beth's angry scowl softened slightly though she refused to look to the other girl.
"I'm sorry." Lindsay said again before once again moving to leave the cabin.
Except this time it was different.
This time both girls understood perfectly well what was meant behind those two words.
Beth knew that 'I'm sorry' can mean a lot of things, It can mean compunction, sympathy, pity.
But sometimes 'I'm sorry' can also be words of great tragedy and regret, and it can leave you with the worst feeling of wretchedness.
Sometimes, Beth thought as she lay alone met with silence and loneliness at the absence of her blonde friend, 'I'm sorry' can be the two worst possible words to ever say or hear.
~Fin~
So sad I know, and to think this started out as a happy fic to! And for all you Beth fans, u gotta understand she's not my most favorite character but I dont hate her! She was just happened to be a pawn in my very angst filled story!=) Anyway hate it or love it let me know!
Peace-)AR