This is different from the Ginny/ Sirius fic I wrote in the past, it's also different from any I've ever read.
You've been warned, you saw the pairing before you clicked on the story, if you don't like the fact that Sirius loved a 14 year old Ginny don't read and don't flame

This was written for Ezriella, who never fails to leave me a review, I know you're more of a Draco/Ginny fan, but I hope you like this anyways.

I'm still trying my hand at heart break so bare with me,

Please Leave A Review, and Enjoy (:

Just watching her as she crosses the room is hard. Watching the faces of everyone light up when she talks to them, watching the way her hair shines in the light, the way she walks gracefully with her hips swaying side to side, the way she hums while she cleans and cooks, the way her eyes light up as she laughs. The way that with just one look from her I'm sixteen again, with James by my side, and not a care in the world. Just thinking about her makes me happier than I've been in a long time.

Just one look, just watching her, just thinking about her kills me.

Because it's wrong.

Because I love her, and it doesn't matter than I'm old enough to be her father, or that I look like I'm her grandfather, or that I could never go out holding her hand, that I could never reach over and give her playfully kisses. Because she means so much more than that. She's so much older than fourteen, she's had to deal with more than her six older brothers probably ever will, she stopped being a child when she wrote in that dairy, and she'll carry that with her forever. Some may see that as an imperfection, a taint in a once normal girl. But I see it as shinning jem on an already perfect girl.

Being stuck in the house, being able to offer the Order nothing but this house, and only being able to make it fit to live in, left me alone and overlooked, she was my soul companion, my friend, and I never imagined that my long walks and talks with her would turn into something much more, especially when she doesn't say it but I know she is in love with my godson.

And for that a small part of me hates him.

Hates the way he ignores her, and the way he brushes off her attention, the way he doesn't appreciate how she's wise beyond her years, or how kind and caring she is, how brave, and how beautiful, and I hate the way he reminds me of James. Would it not be prefect the copy of James with the copy of Lily?

So I hate myself for loving something so perfect and hating the only one who loves me. I hate myself for hiding away, for bottling it up, for lying to Harry and ignoring Ginny.

So I'm sitting here at a bar, drowning it all one shot at a time, trying to forget why I'm here.

I place my glass on the counter and it magically refills itself with firewhiskey, the bartender has become used to my nightly visits that he's charmed my glass, knowing I pay for more than I drink anyways.

Maybe, I'm crazy;
the newspapers say I am.

Maybe, I'm reckless;
I must be if I'm here.

But I don't care if I get caught, I don't care if they send me back to Azkaban or give me the kiss.
Because when the buzz wears off I think of her, and hate him, so any escape is welcome.

So I'm sitting here at the bar, drowning it all one shot at a time, trying to forget why I'm here, trying to forget why I hate myself for hating the only one who loves me, and loving the only one who doesn't know, who I can't have.

I've had a lot of PM's asking if this was Sirius's POV from the future as based on 'Never Been So Sure Of Anything" while I got the idea of it from that story, you can either view it as a sidelong to that story or by itself in general.
Enjoy!