(cue the Beavis & Butthead intro)
BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD DO CRUSH CRUSH
In a place in America called Highland, there lived two teens in a rundown house by the names of Beavis and Butthead.
The duo were currently watching TV as always. And...
"This sucks!" Butthead promptly changed the channel as Beavis exclaimed. "This sucks!" The duo did it again. "This sucks!" And again.
"Damnit, there's nothing good on TV anymore!" Butthead cried foul. "Yeah! All they're showing is Teen Titans Go!, music videos that suck, and the Kardashians! I'm so sick of it!" Beavis added.
Knocking on their door was heard. "Go get it, Beavis." Butthead simply said. "Why me? Why not you?" Beavis replied. "Because I said so!" Butthead smacked Beavis on the face to prove his point. "Dumbass..."
And so, Beavis got the door. "Hi, can I help you?" In front of him was a rather lovely looking woman with ginger hair. "Please tell me ye lads paid the rent this time..." The woman spoke up with a Scottish accent. "HEY, BUTTHEAD! IT'S THAT CHICK! WE'RE GONNA SCORE!" Beavis shouted excitedly.
Butthead's eyes widened. "COOL! Move out of the way, bungwipe!" The brace-face violently shoved the blonde out of the way as he attempted to woo her. "Hey, baby. I'm Butthead."
The woman shook her head in disbelief. "I expected as much." She then pinched the bridge of her nose as she made her way to warn the duo. "I'm tellin' ye lads. If ye don't do somethin' about this place, ye can kiss your house goodbye." The woman gave the two a cold glare as she stepped out.
Beavis and Butthead simply stared blankly at the woman. "Uh, okay." Beavis suddenly remembered something. "Hey, Butthead! Check this out!" Beavis pulled out what appeared to be a credit card. "WHOA! MR. ANDERSEN'S CREDIT CARD! WHERE'D YOU GET IT, BEAVIS!?"
"I found it lying at his shed!" Beavis replied as he got out a lighter and set it. "Let's burn it!" The blonde said as he put the card next to the lighter as to which Butthead snatched away. "AH!" Beavis cried as his hand got singed. "Don't do that, dumbass! You can buy stuff with these! You can like, go on flights, purchase houses, buy cars, and stuff!" Beavis smiled then. "You mean like, guns and beer?" "Totally!" Butthead giddily replied. "We're there, dude!"
Beavis and Butthead chanted Black Sabbath as they exited the house, intending on going to the mall to buy guns and beer. What would ensue next would change the duo's lives forever.
Apparently, it didn't last long until a fight had broken out between the two over which was cooler; AC DC or METALLICA. "Take that back, fartknocker!" Butthead said as he launched a punch at Beavis. "DON'T CALL ME A FARTKNOCKER, BUTTHOLE!" Beavis charged at Butthead, who dodged, not realizing there was somebody who was in a hurry heading towards them.
"Out of the way, out of the-" The person didn't get much of a chance as she got knocked out by Beavis charging at her by accident, causing her to hit a telephone pole.
Beavis and Butthead stared down at the girl whom Beavis had unintentionally beaten. "Now look what you did!" Butthead pointed accusingly at Beavis. Beavis then noticed a phone besides the girl. "Urm, what number do you dial for 9-1-1?" Beavis asked as he picked up the phone and turned it on. "Uh, I don't know. 9-1-1 maybe?"
-One quick call later-
Beavis and Butthead waited by the sidewalk until the ambulance came and picked the unconscious girl up, carrying her away to the hospital. "You know, I feel really bad." Beavis said. "Yeah. You should be." Butthead laughed. He then remembered something else. "Damnit! I just remembered now!" "Remember what, Butthead?" "We're supposed to like, go to work!" "That sucks!" And so, the duo went back home to get changed for another day at Burger World.
When they got home, however, they found somebody locked them out. "Uh, I think we're like, locked out or something." "There's a reason for that, lads..." The duo turned around and saw the ginger haired woman from earlier giving them a cold stare. "Hey, it's that chick from earlier!" "So, baby! Come back crawling to me?" The woman scoffed. "I wish I was!" She exclaimed sarcastically. "Look at these!" She shoved a piece of paper into the duo's hands. "Look at all this money ye bloody owe us!"
Of course, the duo couldn't read so they couldn't answer that part. "What does that mean?" "I'll give ye beasties a quick hint. Ye don't have enough money ta even tend ta yer houses, let alone look after yourselves!" The duo simply stared blankly. "Don't worry about your clothing though." The woman handed the duo's Burger World outfits. "Even though we're reclaimin' this dump, I'm kind enough to let ye keep this for your job."
"Uh, when do we score now?" Butthead asked. "I'll let ye answer that one when I become your lover." The girl sarcastically replied as she left.
"What do we do now?" Beavis asked. "I can't believe I'm saying this, Beavis, but we'll have to live at Stewart's house now." "Really? That sucks! Even more than having to go to work!"
And so, they went to Stewart's...
"Whoa! They evicted you!" Stewart asked, feeling completely sorry for the duo. "I'm so sorry! I'll let you stay at my house and maybe we'll become even closer friends than before!" Beavis and Butthead rolled their eyes. "That's nice and all, but we have work." Beavis said as he got his outfit on. "Besides, we have some chick in the hospital we have to visit." Butthead added.
And after a long day of work...
"Work sucks!" Beavis said as he and Butthead made their way to the hospital. "Look on the bright side, Beavis. At least we made the most out of it." Butthead said rather nonchalantly. "Oh yeah! Like when I gave that dude mouse burger and french flies!?" Butthead laughed at the memory. "Yeah. That was pretty cool." Both of them snickered as they made their way to where they assumed the girl was.
And by chance, the girl was inside. She woke up and caught sight of the duo. And boy, was she not happy.
"Oh. It's you two. What the hell do you two want?" The girl spoke up, rather rudely and tone full of venom.
Beavis and Butthead sweated as they stared at each other and then back at her.
Silence filled the air for a moment.
Then, Butthead spoke up.
"Uh, me and Beavis are sorry..."