requiem for the INNOCENTPeNuLtImA
The potion had done nothing. Dreams came and did not allow him to sleep.
For the fourth time that night, the boy with the scar snapped his eyes open and greeted the cold, picturesque ceiling. The hospital wing was beautiful, still, it was all but friendly. From the way the medicine made him even sicker, and the knowledge he was here because he wasn't good enough. Unconsciously he called out into the silence. (Cedric.Sorry,sososorry.)
He's dead.
Wasn't good enough to protect himself. And to protect him. (Diggory.)
He's dead.
Where had it gone wrong? Hadn't he done it right? (Savehissoul.)
It's over. Hush.
And how many people were grieving?(I'msorryi'msorryi'msorry.
Just a dream. Take a deep breath. Everything's okay.
Nothing was okay. His life, the whole thing; the whole reality was in smithereens, like broken glass being pieced together. He just wanted the truth. The blood did not matter.
I'msorryi'msorryi'msorry
It's not your fault.
He tried to calm himself as the voice instructred him. But above him the ceiling melted away, and his sins fell away, shed like drying leaves from an old, burdened tree. He closed his eyes and cried away the guilt.
Itriedtosaveyou.
At midnight, he woke up and screamed.
I guess saved her instead)
The girl with bright eyes placed a hand on her tear-stained cheeks. Her eyes are barely open, clouded and dull. Her cracked lips were parted, slightly, moving quietly as she all but whispered his name. (Cedric.helpme)
Her other hand lies palm up beside her face. Her gaze is listlessly directed to it, at an unopaque, untouchable presence that had occupied her since several of her last waking hours. (don'tleaveme.don'tletmedryout,don'tleavemealone)
You're not alone. Go back to sleep.
Sleep? The concept had become so foreign to her. Staring up at the velvet canopy, she wished she could sleep and will all the loss away. Fill up the emptiness with a candied lie and tell her he was alive. (He'sdead.ohno,ohno.helpme.whereareyou?)
Don't cry. Everyone's sad about it. There's nothing you could have done.
She nearly screamed. Of course she could have done something. She simply could have told him no. After all, he'd done it for her. She wailed and shouted and screamed like she would die otherwise. How could she compensate?
He said he'd get the money to buy her a ring. In two years time, he'd told her sweetly, they could get married. He'd done so much for her, and did even more. He'd taken her from her lonely stand amid her noisy friends and made her his Cinderella, he became her Prince and she submitted herself as slave.
(iloveyouthismuch,Cedric.butyouleftmealone,ileftyoutodie.i'msosorry)
She had told him no, hadn't she. Don't do it, she told him. But he smiled. I love you this much, he said. I would go this far to make you happy. He went through flame and water and maze. He gave her gold, saved her and won for her.
(youdidnotdieforme.) he'd told her that once, hadn't he? He would die for her if he needed to. She told him no. She would rather have him back at school, in the gardens with her, sharing secrets, laughing together.
(youdidnotcomebackforme.)
How that had tortured her. That no one mentioned he tried to save his own life. He had not tried to protect himself. He did not get himself back. Someone else had to save him. His body, but that alone saved her from the deepest pits of her depression.
(hehadtobringyouback.hesavedyou,hesavedme.)
(youdidnotsaveyourself.butyoucameback
She screamed, again and again, into the silent night and into the ears of whoever would listen. She turned and rolled in her bed and allowed the tears to wash her away. Not the pain, not the loneliness, but her heart. Cut away at it so the emptiness was meaningless.
Oh, how the others looked at her. Ravenclaws indeed were wise, but who knew her heart like herself? There was naught to do but wait. She'll get over it, they said, she'll be fine.
youhadtosaveme.hehadtosaveyou.hesavedmeinstead)
When the clock struck twelve, her dress tore, her prince left and she whispered away his remnants into the unlistening ears of the midnight wind.