(A/N): I just wanted to write something, or at least try to... Don't hate me? Anyway, I'm dedicating this to A Spot of Bother because she is absolutely amazing and deserves way more credit for her work. Way more than this little one-shot, definitely.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not even a plushie :(
"You're the song that runs through my soul."
Demyx clenched his eyes shut, pressing the side of his head into Zexion's chest. He knew it had to be there, he had felt it dammit. It was there, it was..
"Your mind is fooling you." Demyx didn't move to look up at the sound of Zexion's voice. He knew what he had felt, even if it was only for a second. It was real, he knew it was. It was because it had to be.
"Demyx," Zexion sighed as his hand continued to move up and down the blond's back, the gentle scratches sending something throughout his entire body, his entire being. "there's nothing there. I shouldn't have to keep telling you this."
"You're wrong." Demyx said, eyes closed once more.
"We're insensible Demyx. It's all in your mind." Zexion felt the blond tense at his words, and perhaps if his mind was as lost in reverie as Demyx's was, just maybe he would've noted the sliver of sympathy twinge where an important part of him was missing... or was that understanding?
"Stop it." Zexion's hand froze in the middle of the blond's back as he glanced down at him. "Just stop it, please.."
"Demyx-"
"No, Zexion." Demyx said, tightening his hold around the older's waist. "For once, just this once could you look passed all the facts. Look passed all those reports and-and theories, the missions.." Demyx held on to Zexion tighter, their bodies being pressed closer together as though he thought it would help, like that was the only way he could get it through to him. It was his only hope. "Zexion, please, just-just this once try to.. to..."
The room went silent and Demyx couldn't find it in himself to let his hold around the other go. He thought that maybe Zexion finally heard him, understood what he'd been trying to say all this time. He couldn't count how many days this topic came up in conversation.
He should've learned by now not to get his hopes up.
"You're being foolish." Zexion sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm getting tired of-"
"No." Demyx shook his head, burying his face into Zexion's chest. "You didn't even try." The blond mumbled, defeated and loosening his hold around the older of the two.
"What?"
A nerve in his arm twitched as Demyx looked up at him. "You didn't even try Zexion."
"This is ridiculous Demyx," Zexion said as he put a hand to his temple. "just a waste of time."
"No it's not." Demyx said, positioned with his head back on the older's chest. "Just feel."
"Demyx-"
"You can feel rain, can't you?" His voice was soft as he once again tightened his grip around Zexion's waist. "The water sliding down your body, making your hair stick to the side of your face.."
"That's-"
"No, you're not listening to me Zexion. You can feel music, right? Every different vibration that every single note sends out, you feel it and it just-just runs through you." He buried his face farther into Zexion's chest. "That's why I play Zexion," The ghost of something was playing behind his eyes then, the remembrance of something that was lodged far back into his brain. Demyx knew they wouldn't fall though, because they couldn't.
-Only the somebodies have the privilege.
"even if I can't make my music real.. Zexion, I can feel it. When I play I'm almost, almost.." He sighed into the older's chest.
"Demyx, are you even-"
"Please just do this for me." The blond said, feeling the other's body beneath him, listening for that missing part he knew that wasn't really there.
"Demyx-"
He tightened his grip around Zexion's waist as he held him in place, bodies pressed together once more. "Just feel."
"Let me say some-"
"Shh-"
"Number IX!"
They both froze.
Muscles Demyx didn't even know he had were tensed. He knew he had crossed the line, finally pushed the subject to far. Zexion never called him that. Not when they were alone, not when they were like this. Never. He closed his eyes and waited. He waited... but nothing came. The blond dared a small glance up towards him, "Zexion?"
Zexion didn't look at him, he couldn't. "..."
"Please?" He didn't get a response. Slowly, his head was back on Zexion's chest, ears straining in the silence of the room to hear. The longer he laid there, the longer he thought he could remember, almost remember the sound it was supposed to make. It felt so close.
It was Zexion who finally broke the long silence. "You know it's not real.."
Demyx had sat up so fast, Zexion didn't even have time to react. Demyx sat straddled across his lap, foreheads touching with his face roughly being held by the blond's hands.
"Kiss me." It was a demand and they both knew it.
"It's not real Demyx."
"Kiss me Zexion.."
Zexion met Demyx's eyes, placing his hands over the ones that held his face so close to the blond's. "It's just faded memories, Demyx. Strong ones, surfacing from the back of your mind." Demyx ducked his head, only to be roughly jerked back up when Zexion grabbed his chin. "Those memories, feelings that you think you feel. They're not even yours." Zexion let go of him, pushing the blond away as he stood up off the bed and grabbed his cloak off of the floor. "You're not him, Demyx."
Demyx watched with tired eyes as Zexion continued the search for his clothes, "Zexion..."
The bed sank some then, when Zexion sat back down to put on his shoes. "Your mind is fooling you Demyx." He could hear the blond sigh behind him as he laced up his other shoe. "There's nothing there."
"I know."
Zexion looked back at him, a thin eyebrow raised, hidden behind his hair. "You do?"
Demyx glanced at him before he ducked his head once more. "..Yeah, I do." A moment went by before Demyx felt Zexion stand back up off the bed and watched as he made his way for the door. The door unlocked and Zexion stepped in the doorway, paused for a moment before he turned around.
"Keep playing your music Demyx."
Demyx head shot up but Zexion had already left, the door closed behind him. He smiled regardless though, that one statement was all he needed.
Just maybe, Zexion could almost feel it too.