Trevor and the Stig, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer: all rites to J K Rowling & BBC's Top Gear, and all praise to the almighty Jeremy Clarkson to whom we mean no offence.

Introducing the Stig

- Overtones of Jeremy Clarkson –

"Some say he has the ability to catch a fly between his fingers, while driving a bright yellow Lamborghini at one hundred and fifty miles per hour, and some say that he was once an amphibious being who was created in a freak potions accident; all we know is that he's called The Stig.

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"Trevor, no!" screamed Neville Longbottom as his beloved pet toad jumped from his bag, where it had been hiding, into his steaming cauldron full of what remained of Neville's confusing and befuddlement draught. It had gone wrong as usual; mixing up his scurvy-grass and his sneezewort had resulted in a sticky viscous mixture at the bottom of his cauldron, rather than the smooth liquid it was supposed to be.

The sudden splash caused Severus Snape to look up from where he had been terrorising Ronald Weasley and criticising Harry Potter as usual. "Tut, tut, tut Mr Longbottom, what have we done this time?"

"N-n-nothing s-s-sir…" but then there was a loud bang and Neville's cauldron exploded in a flash of blinding white light and gave off copious amounts of smoke, which filled the classroom obscuring everything and everyone.

"Nice one mate," said Seamus Finnigan from somewhere behind Neville. "That's up to my standard that is, which is very high."

"Twenty points from Gryffindor, Longbottom for disrupting the class and thirty points for your incompetence," Snape remarked in his usual cold voice. "And ten points for the destruction of your fifth cauldron this term. Oh, and Mr Finnigan, five points from you for your irrelevant comments."

From the corner of the room Neville could hear Ron muttering to Harry and Hermione Granger on how unfair Snape was towards the Gryffindors; if it had been a Slytherin who had blown up his cauldron, he would have passed the whole incident over as inconsequential, but luckily, Snape did not seem to have heard what he had said.

The voice of Dean Thomas came from the back of the room. "Hey what's that?" he was pointing at where Neville's cauldron had previously stood, the smoke had thinned a little allowing them to see the outlines of each other.

The whole class turned, and saw that, as the smoke cleared from amongst the broken pieces of Neville's cauldron, there stood a fully-grown man in a white racing suit, trainers and a large white helmet with a navy blue tinted visor, which covered his entire head.

This new creation stood with its back to Neville and facing a jar of what resembled oil. "T-t-t-Trevor?" Neville said. The man did not reply, so Neville in desperation called random words out, varying from Earl Grey to Banana Man until finally landing on the word Stig.

Hearing this, the former toad turned to face his master, tilted his head to one side regarding the boy, and then after a minute turned and walked away, out of the Dungeons.

The class, abandoning their potions and Professor Snape's orders to sit down, followed the man in white out of the dungeons, the Slytherins following out of pure curiosity regardless of the fact that the Gryffindors were there. They followed him up the dungeon staircase and out into the brightly lit entrance hall, obviously the man had retained some sense of direction from when he had been Trevor, as he seemed to know where he was going.

The large oak doors opened as if they sensed an almighty presence approaching. The class continued to follow him through the grounds and down to the main gates, through which they could see a bright red object. The gates opened, but this time to reveal that the object was a car; in fact, the muggle borns could see that it was a Ferrari Scuderia. Harry, Hermione, Dean and Seamus were all suitably impressed, and even Ron, with his father's muggle fascinations, knew what a car was and could see it was a very good one, far better than that old Ford Anglia.

Trevor, now newly named the Stig, opened the door, climbed in and started the engine. He revved it with gusto and set off in to the wilderness, leaving a trail of dust in his wake, heading southwards, to which they all guessed could only be London.

"Well Neville," Hermione remarked. "I bet you couldn't do that again, even if you tried. Sorry about Trevor though."

The car came to a stop as it passed the finishing line of the Top Gear test track. The Top Gear team were suitably impressed by the time that the Stig had set in this car.

"He's much better than the old one." Said Jeremy Clarkson, his fellow presenters, James May and Richard Hammond, nodded in agreement.

(A/N hope you enjoyed this, It's something my brother who's a Top Gear fanatic put together. Top Gear is produced by the BBC and Clarkson, May and Hammond are the actual presenters and the Stig is their professional racer, who tests out all the cars they feature in the shows.

For more information and a picture of the stig see ./topgear No offence is meant to any of the people who put the show together, this is just a bit of fun.)