This is my submission for the Philinda Secret Santa gift exchange! My giftee, shemadehimwaffles, request "Anything having to do with Christmas - maybe Philinda introducing their new space baby Tess to Christmas? But honestly anything."
Much of this was written before episode four. Also, I brought Jemma back because she deserves a Christmas too dammit! Fitz, unfortunately, when I was writing this was not with them so while he himself is not in the story I did make sure the team did not leave him out of their celebrations.
Life had somewhat settled into a routine on the Lighthouse. The team worked 10 hour shifts at different jobs and were given two hours before their wing was shut into darkness. In those two hours they would have to do their shopping at the Market Room and hurry back to their private room for other activities. Of those activities cleaning up was highly sought after; showers were nonexistent but they were able to scrub down with a clean rag and soap every three of four days.
That had probably been the hardest part for them to get used to. May and Coulson had griped about having thought those days behind them, sharing a look when they both groaned out "Prague." The younger agents forcibly learned how to handle the frustration that came with the lack of that particular luxury.
After everyone returned from their after-work activities they had dinner together, a rule established by Coulson after the Kree had returned Jemma to them. She had not been able to give them what they wanted (of which she still wasn't quite sure exactly what that had been) so they had returned her bruised and enraged in equal measure. Grievances, ideas and intel were all shared during that time until lights out. To give everyone a chance at a good night's rest a rule of silence had been instilled, enforced by May if need be. After the lights came on it was time for work again.
The only break they had was, after some raised voices and slammed tools, Grill gave the group and Tess a few hours off one day to have a Remembrance for Virgil. Even though they hadn't all known the man and those who did only knew him for less than half a day Coulson insisted they attend as Virgil had tried to help them.
The team stood in front of a window that looked out to the stars, a few of Virgil's items resting on the floor in front of it. The silence stretched as they watched bits of the Earth float by and stars glared bright and eerily beautiful through it all. The vastness of space was stunning, enough so that most of the agents found themselves mesmerized by it for a time until the bits of rock that floated by soured the elegance.
"Virgil, you know, always believed in you all. Said you would come to save us." Tess sniffled. "He said that you wouldn't do it for the glory but because you all were good people trying to do good things." Tess startled and looked up at May when the older woman reached over to place her calloused hand over hers. It wasn't something done here in this floating coffin, this casual touch for comfort. She had seen almost every member of the group do it to different members, all getting some sort of instant relief or comfort from a reciprocated touch.
It was downright bizarre.
But there May was, holding her hand, and to her confusion and astonishment, the ache of losing Virgil didn't seem so heavy.
"We do it so no one else has to." May's voice was low so as to not disturb the quiet calm that had settled over the area. "There is a is core idea behind our organization; Protection." Tess watched the steel sharpen in the older woman's eyes. "We take care of the scary things so that the people we protect can have hope." Her fists clenched and her eyes darted to Coulson who continued to stare out the window. "Even among ourselves we feed each other hope. It keeps us going." May finished, her words soft but heartfelt. She stepped back, away from the group, her limp less pronounced than it had been but proof of a still healing wound.
Daisy made to follow but Coulson caught her arm and shook his head. It was tense for a moment but the younger agent relented and stayed by his side, occasionally casting worried glances to where her SO had disappeared to.
The closeness of this team was strange to Tess. Sure, she made deals and bargains and threats for cooperation before but this group seemed to do things for one another simply because they could or it needed to be done. She had heard Deke complain about Daisy taking blankets from his augmented reality lair and passing them out to everyone that had arrived with her. The big guy and his woman had given up one of theirs and passed it off to Coulson who had made a doubled-up pallet.
At first Tess had thought it was because of his rank that he got more cushion but then he had eased Melinda down onto the rags and curled up on the other side of her, not touching but close enough to call for help if she needed it. He didn't have a blanket either. Tess was more than certain it was what Melinda was using as a pillow.
She also saw everyone pool their food together and then give out equal portions but when May was not there during rationing Coulson made sure, with keen approval from the others, that she got a fraction of everyone's portions.
May, of course, tried to do the same to her when she realized Tess had to cut her portions so as to buy less after she had covered for them with the trawler incident. Tess, however, was scared to accept. She also took into consideration the fact that everyone had been giving Melinda larger portions so that she could heal up her leg. Tess may not know what Neosporin or amoxicillin were but she knew that to heal faster the body needed fuel and the only way to get that was through food.
She sat with them in the evening hours for dinner, all jammed inside Virgil's old living space. Under Grill's dictatorship their wages combined paid for the room and their rations but not much more. They had all decided for privacy from the population not in the know to take the one room, make pallets in separate corners and hang sheets where they could. It was not a perfect system but Tess had to admit that they made it work rather well.
There had been a few incidents, of course, such as Daisy not calling out before whipping open a curtain and seeing more of Mack than she ever wanted to. Another time Tess herself had done the same and seen the terrible scar that Coulson had on his chest. Daisy had been quick to laugh off her incident though Mack had been cranky for a few hours. Tess had gotten a shaky smile from Colson and a quip of how much worse it was from behind. She did not want to know how much worse that could get.
One night after dinner was packed up and before anyone could move off to their own corners Coulson turned to Jemma, a question on his lips. The whole group stopped to listen, wanting to know if their leader had come up with a plan for getting them out of there.
"Simmons, can you by any chance calculate a reasonable time of year we would be in if the world wasn't, you know, in shambles?" Coulson asked, pulling tight the last stitch on his jacket's button he had been working on as everyone else finished up their dinner. He showed it to Melinda who nodded her approval after a quick tug. Simmons watched him for a moment, her nerves on edge.
There were so many factors that played a role it was difficult to give an accurate answer. If it was Daisy, and Simmons was not inclined to believe that, who destroyed the world, where was she at the time and what time of year was it? Did it happen all at once or slowly over a set period of time? She was smart, yes, but she wasn't gifted with Second-Sight.
Coulson caught her eye and a grin made its way to his face as if they were both in on some joke. "Just assume the world ended when we left." He shrugged when he said it, his face neutral but Simmons knew the emotions flooding through him. The confusion, the outrage and sorrow. She would do what she could to ease that but she feared it may not be much.
She looked out again, spit-balling for a few calculations. It wasn't difficult, not really, but with the data so completely unknown it could be so very wrong. Many had called her a perfectionist and while she thought she had gotten much better it was frustrating having to basically guess at something. She blew out a breath of frustration before turning back to the team. "I think we would be sometime in winter, possibly November or December."
The man they all viewed as the de facto Director of SHIELD nodded to himself, slipping his jacket on with no comment on her estimation. He shared a look with his right-hand woman, a conversation occurring that no one else could follow. He turned to look at them, a small grin on his face. "What do you say we light this place up?" Melinda rolled her eyes but she could not hide the small hint of a smirk.
"Sir?" Elena asked, uncertain of her boss' meaning. She initially suspected she did not catch some sort of American slang but by the bewildered looks on her compatriots faces it was not just her that was confused. He had a history of crazy plans so when he turned his little smirk to her, his eyes reflecting a self-satisfied smugness that always accompanied trouble, she did not feel at all comforted.
"What is the one thing in winter that usually brings people together?" He waited for someone to answer him. Daisy had to hide a snort of laughter at the dramatic way his face fell when no one responded. "Christmas, people! Christmas!" he threw his hands in the air, carefully missing May at his side.
Tess spoke up, reluctantly getting used to being confused when she was with the team. "What is Christmas?" There were so many things about these people and their traditions she did not understand and it irked her to no end. They came from a whole Earth, with celebrations and customs that should be familiar but weren't. Jealousy roiled in the pit of her stomach, making it smart a moment before she silenced its complaints. Virgil said they would fix this.
Coulson and Mack began talking at the same time but when they both paused the Director gestured for Mack to continue. "From a religious stand point, of which YoYo and I are, it's to celebrate the birthday of Jesus Christ." He said, voice rumbling. Elena held her cross charm in her hand.
"Who is Jesus Christ?" Tess pressed for details.
That got everybody silent, looking at each other in bewilderment. After a few false starts Mack, again, explained. "Jesus Christ is the earthly son of God, the only God Christians believe in. He died, was crucified on a cross for humankind's sins, so that we may be welcomed into Heaven when we die." Elena took her necklace off, holding it out in front of her by the chain, the pendant hanging down.
"This is a symbol of the Christians," Elena picked up for Mack. After Tess gave it a brief inspection YoYo replaced it around her neck. "Christmas is a celebration of his birth to believers. To nonbelievers it is a day for presents and family." There was a beat of silence before Daisy broke it.
"Okay wait, sorry, you've never heard of Jesus Christ?" She was incredulous, face screwed up with incomprehension and alarm. Tess shrugged and shook her head. "That's…That's…" Daisy trailed off, unable to finish the thought. Even atheists frequently exclaimed his name so for Tess to have not heard his name even in passing was unsettling.
"That's Conquering 101," said Coulson, voice grave and sad. His dad was Jewish and his mom was Catholic and while they didn't necessarily raise him to be either he still had faith there was a greater power than aliens out there. He wasn't sure if it was God or just fate but the thought that a large part of many societies' belief system had been stamped out, hurt. "Take away the people's hope. Religion, the thought of redemption, brings about hope."
Elena felt Mack flinch and her heart clenched in sympathy. Her Turtle Man was in pain anytime that word was tossed around but The Framework had really put him through the ringer. She clutched his hand, running the pad of her thumb over warm, work roughened skin. Just that small connection could hopefully alleviate a fraction of his agony. Whatever he needed she would be there for him.
"That's what they've done here." Coulson waved a hand in the general direction of the door. "These people have no hope. They will never pull together because their hope was taken from them by the Kree." The anger in his voice surprised Tess but did not seem at all unusual to any of the others. Melinda pursed her lips in agreement, feeling that familiar anger from witnessing the powerful subjugate the weak simmer in her gut, the urge to lash out a leaden weight along the column of her spine. Her eyes held steel, and pride, as she watched Phil attempt to appeal to the other agents.
"If we can put that back, if we can show people what you can do when you ban together we can fix this. After that we can find a way home." Many probably missed it but May knew him too long and too well to miss the hint of desperation his words held. He so desperately wanted to go home, back to their time and worse yet she knew he blamed himself for their current predicament. Her heart ached at the thought. He always took entirely too much upon himself. His hand pressed more firmly into her back and Melinda nodded, giving him an unnecessary confirmation of her support.
"I don't understand." Tess spoke up. "We celebrate a god's son's birth and we'll get hope back?" She could not hold back the derision in her tone. She couldn't see how celebrating this would bring hope back to people who didn't even know the significance of this particular god and his son. She didn't know how she felt about a religion that believed in sacrificing someone's life either. It took everything in her not to squirm as Coulson directed his gaze to her, brow furrowed.
"Not a god…well," he thought better of it, taking into account his relationship with Thor who was by all rights still considered a god by some. "We are going to celebrate Christmas as a team, you are welcome to join us Tess." It was the final word on the matter and while none of the team looked particularly convinced, Tess could sense an air of excitement.
Tess let out a breath and then left the room for her own quarters. Virgil may have had faith in these people that she was beginning to have her doubts.
-:X:-
Jemma lay beside Daisy in their sectioned off corner. They were facing each other whispering about their future, the uncertainty of their situation and anything really that came to mind. Tonight, it was the whole idea of having Christmas without any of the usual Christmas atmosphere.
"It's not that I don't want to celebrate Christmas," Daisy said, her face screwed up in thought. "What I don't see is how that's supposed to help us right now. I mean we're floating in space, Earth is gone! How is that supposed to help us?" she said huffing out a breath.
Jemma sighed, placing a hand over Daisy's. "I think what Coulson was getting at was our attitude. During Christmas everyone is in a much better mood! Everyone is trying to see the silver lining in situations." she explained. Memories came forth of Fitz and her celebrating that they were still a team despite everything that had happened. They held hands that night. She tightened her hands into fists. "You and I both know finding that silver lining sometimes can be hard. I think he just wants us to transfer that frame of mind to now. I mean it can't be too hard, right?" She took Daisy's hum as assent. Her voice dropped. "I saw the look on his face... He wants to go home just as much as we do."
There was a silence as both girls were lost in their thoughts. When the lights shut off, signaling the start of the Rule of Silence, Jemma spoke. "Maybe doing this is also a way of bringing home to us? Either way I must admit I am looking forward to it."
Daisy nodded and then pulled the blanket more towards her side. "Well that's nice and all, and if that is the case then all I want for Christmas is for you to stop hogging the goddamn blanket!" Jemma's giggles were hushed and further muffled by her hand. The scientist scooted closer, cuddling up to Daisy.
There was nothing but the background noise of the outside world, rhythmic mechanical sounds of their spaceship keeping afloat. Jemma snickered suddenly, trying to smother the noise into her shoulder. She locked her narrowed eyes with Daisy and in a whisper told her thoughts. "What I want for Christmas is a bigger blanket then!" Both girls giggled into the shared blanket, only laughing harder at May's stern "Girls!" From across the room. Eventually they both settled into sleep.
On the wall perpendicular to the young girls May and Coulson lay on their pallet, both facing away from the room. Coulson was in between May and the cold that seemed to radiate off the walls, using his jacket as a blanket and some rags he had bartered for as a pillow. The first night May had curled up to his back, pressing her body along his, the breath had been stolen right from his lungs. Now, he was almost used to it. It still thrilled him, that she trusted him that much, blatantly telling him she needed both warmth and comfort, but he no longer was driven to distraction by it.
He felt her nuzzle between his shoulder blades and he smiled, purposefully leaning back into her. She hummed her approval, sliding a hand under his arm to rest over his stomach. It had to be uncomfortable for her but he enjoyed it very much. He felt her begin tapping a pattern, communicating without words that could be overheard. 'How make Christmas?'
He gripped her hand, his thumb giving a quick caress of the delicate digits before he responded with the same code. 'Colors. Gifts. Song. Food. What we can.' He almost laughed aloud at her response.
'I can't sing, cook.'
'Uh oh.' He felt the light shake of her body and the warmth on his back as she huffed out a laugh. He gave her foot a soft nudge with his leg, delighted when she slipped her leg between his. 'We make it work. Baby Agents need.'
'Yes.' She agreed. 'Night.' He squeezed her hand again and then released it, ready for her to retreat back to her own bubble. His heart hammered in his chest as she instead tucked it tighter around him. He internally laughed at himself. He was in so damn deep.
-:X:-
The next few cycles were spent in a flurry of activity. To all get off on the same day everyone had put in extra hours at work for Grill and Coulson had even taken a dock in pay for the next month. It was hard, and everyone was exhausted, but May and Coulson tried to keep everyone's spirits up.
Tess had heard Mack's rumbling voice lament the lack of a Christmas tree and, upon asking the significance, was subjected to a thorough lesson on why a proper childhood included the heavily decorate pine, or a menorah if they celebrated a different holiday called Hanukah, which wasn't about Jesus, strangely enough. Truthfully Tess felt sad to not have had this, the way Mack had spoken of it made it sound fantastical and amazing. Just another thing she did not understand of their time. Rather than jealousy, this time she felt an ache in her gut as she compared her own childhood.
Everyone, even May but especially Jemma, seemed to really enjoy teaching Tess about their Christmas traditions.
"Sorry we don't have the usual treats, it probably seems like we're just making a big deal out of nothing but in my family, before I moved to the Sci-Tech dormitories for school of course, my dad would let me stay up late and help my mother make mince pie for the next day. Oh it was so much fun!" Jemma gushed. "Fitz said his mom would help him make the Scottish shortbread cookies." Her voice dimmed, her hurt almost palpable.
Elena quickly picked up the conversation, keeping it light. "In my family we would invite todos mis primos to make-" she looked over at Mack when he snorted. "Do not make fun of me, Turtle Man!" Her tone was teasing and her glare playful. "We would make tamales and a cake called Pastel Borracho." She was helping Jemma make what they hoped was a decent arrangement of these new foods they had to become accustomed to. It wasn't much but with the few spices and sides the Kree soldiers sold from their more varied fare she hoped to come up with a special dish for the selected day they were to celebrate Christmas on. Tess looked on in rapt attention, occasionally stopping the biologist from adding a spice she knew would ruin the meal, and asked for more details, like what exactly Sci-Tech was and a translation from Elena.
Daisy laughed at her friends' enthusiasm while purposefully ignoring the way Coulson seemed to be hovering near her. He had done the same the year prior and while it was sweet, her past wasn't something she wanted to be broadcasting to the new people. Granted, Tess seemed to have had a rough life too but that wasn't an invitation for oversharing. Daisy did, however, brush her hand along his shoulders as she stood and walked to the clean water jug, silently thanking him for the sentiment.
As Jemma's tale of a snowy accident involving her best friend, a sled, makeshift turbo engine and aerodynamic, anatomically correct, fabricated wings at Sci-Tech wound down May knocked on the small table to gain their attention. "I know people are used to giving gifts to each other during Christmas," She began, relating the plan she and Coulson had managed to work out silently through the past few nights. "But given our situation right now that isn't exactly reasonable, same with Secret Santa. Instead we are bringing it to you all for approval; we had the idea to write letters to one another detailing something to do together when we get home." Her eyes fell on Tess.
"We, of course, took into account that you're not from our time and decided that we would do our best to let you have a more traditional Christmas." The older woman smiled, just a small pull of her lips and a softening of her eyes but Tess noticed it. She nodded, excitement coursing through her. She watched May cast an anxious look at Coulson who just stared at her. She wasn't sure what passed between them but the tension seemed to melt out of May the longer he stared. Melinda looked away and at her group. "Any thoughts?"
There was no disagreement from the junior agents and Phil nodded, settling the matter. "Alright, in that case, Tess, may the team sleep in your room tonight? May and I have some things to… discuss." He hesitated on the last word but aside from Daisy and Jemma's eyes widening and a smirk from Elena there was no protest to the new arrangements. Tess felt heat flushing her face. The two adults were romantically involved, she knew, and probably wanted to have some privacy for "Christmas cheer" but to hear it so publicly announced was embarrassing.
"Uh, yeah, sure…" she said hesitantly. As if signaled, the lights gave the one-hour warning flicker. "We should move everyone's pallets." Tess said. Most everyone nodded and began packing up their things, Elena cursing having to go so slow as to not alert anyone to her Inhuman abilities. They all filed out of the room, the girls busting into giggles as the door shut behind them.
"Oh my God, can he be anymore obvious!" Daisy squealed, hugging her and Jemma's pallet to herself. Jemma was smiling next to her, her joy of the situation obvious on her face.
YoYo snorted. "I bet in a little while it will be more than obvious. They better air the room out after." She said, ignoring Mack's groan of disgust.
"For all we know they're not doing…that." He said, trying not to think about his bosses being intimate. To be honest, though, he couldn't think of a good reason to kick out the rest of the team either.
Tess stopped and looked back at those following her. She looked directly at Daisy. "Do your parents not usually show affection in front of you?" Elena gave a bark of laughter before smothering it in the sheet she was carrying. Daisy flushed, hating and loving the fact that it thrilled her to have Coulson and May mistaken as her parents. She glared at Elena as the Colombian walked by, still sniggering. Jemma squeezed Daisy's arm but trailed behind the other two, knowing that her friend needed a brief moment of privacy.
"Tess," Daisy said, voice cracking. She swallowed. "They're not my parents." She cringed at the genuine shock on the other girl's face. "Yeah, um, I am, well, was, ahh…" she trailed off, uncertain how to explain her situation. After a brief moment she shrugged and decided to just give the very basics. "I was an orphan until SHIELD picked me up. While I was in SHIELD I found my parents, but because of some crap that happened a long time ago my dad got his memory wiped and my mom died." She chewed her lip but, seeing herself from Before in Tess, she let herself be vulnerable. "Coulson and May though… They have been the best mom and dad figures a girl could ask for. They actually care, Tess. They care a lot."
The intensity of Tess' stare had Daisy walking past her to where she knew her temporary room would be. She could hear the thud of Tess' boots behind her and took a deep breath before shakily releasing it. She thought of May and of Coulson, the first two people that ever gave a damn about her. She thought it unfair that Coulson was more affectionate to her rather than May, whom he was obviously in love with.
"Oh!" She exclaimed before turning on her heel to face Tess. "They're not together, romantically or physically, by the way." Her face scrunched up. "Well not that anyone is aware of." Despite the frustration that detail caused her, Daisy did recount an incident everyone had witnessed. "Though they did hug once. Coulson had almost died so it was warranted. After that…" She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Who knows?"
Tess looked concerned and slightly disbelieving. "How many times have you all almost died?!"
Daisy laughed and began walking again. The sardonic lilt to her words made her voice almost musical. "That, my friend, is a whole other story."
-:X:-
Coulson and May rolled their eyes as they heard Daisy's words through the door. May huffed a breath as she stood, grimacing at the pain that shot through her leg. Coulson took a knee in front of her, pulling the bandage loose and looking at the wound. Jemma had managed to bribe some bay leaves and a mutated form of cilantro from a Kree soldier and barter for garlic at the Market to make a poultice for May. They were running low but the antiseptic properties had worked their magic; the infection had all but disappeared, the swelling radically reduced and the wound was already much smaller than it had been.
"Jemma did a good job, looks great." Coulson said. He quickly gathered a few tools before he returned to his position at her feet. After quickly cleaning the wound and the surrounding area he applied more of the salve before rebandaging it. "Now the question is how are you feeling?"
May rolled her eyes, moving her leg around to get the bandage to set comfortably. "Much better than before." She had made a vow to herself no to lie to Coulson so she did just that. She wouldn't say she was still in pain but it was not a lie to say she felt better than she had even a few days ago. He was perceptive though, if his sharp look was anything to go by. He also knew her well because he did not press for details.
"Well, so long as you're not going to blackout while we do this, I say let's get to it," May looked at him with fond exasperation. He held handmade decorations to his chest, a cheesy smile on his face. She couldn't help but think of their first mission together so long ago, when they were both eager and ready to jump from the frying pan into fire. She huffed a laugh, at both Phil and the naivety of their youth, and held out her hands, accepting responsibility for some of the load.
-:X:-
It was a long hard day of work at Grill's before the team was able to leave. Coulson had told them to clean up in Tess' room before they returned to their shared space. They had all accepted his instructions and did their best to wash up as well as they could without the luxury of a shower. While they were getting ready Yoyo made a snide comment about the room and the suitability of having celebrations there, followed shortly by Daisy commenting on the celebrations having already occurred. Mack made a plea for silence that had Tess chortling into her hand. Jemma was just eager for the celebrating to begin.
Everyone held their letters in hand, even Tess had written a few, some rolled and tied others folded and some further finished with makeshift envelopes. Tess hadn't been sure what to put in them but she had done her best given her circumstances. She hoped this Christmas lived up to the tales she had been told.
Coulson and May had done their best to bring Christmas alive in their post apocalyptic world. They were in the communal room eagerly waiting for the team to arrive, both exhausted but happy. Coulson of course was nervous that the team wouldn't like it or that it wouldn't be enough but May knew the team loved and respected him enough to appreciate the effort he went through.
The two senior agents waited with bated breath as the door creaked open. The sudden gasps as they filed in eased their nerves. There were tears in Jemma's eyes that May wanted to wipe away, Tess was clearly gob smacked and in wonderment which had Melinda and Phil a tiny bit smug, and their giant engineer had an equally large smile on his face. Daisy shuffled in quickly, letting her hands dance through the dangling makeshift faerie lights. Elena looked calm but tears pooled in her eyes when she noticed the new makeshift cross that hung on a wall.
Coulson and May had turned the room into a Christmas Wonderland. It was Coulson's idea to go ahead and put up the cross for the two religious members of their team, citing to May that it was a reasonable expectation and hopefully would provide them comfort while they were stuck in the future. They had agreed to leave it up even after the Christmas celebrations had ended.
Hours had been spent going through a bunch of discarded things at the market, bartering with items and labor contracts for what they needed. With the help of an engineer on the ship they had made oddly shaped and colored lights to hang up. They hung all along the perimeter of the room and Coulson had made enough so that strings of light fell down in front of the doorway. He thought it was whimsical and May had to agree; by the reactions of the team it was the wise choice to make.
While they had no actual tree, Phil had done his best to make sure they were not without. With Melinda's eye for detail and more material than they knew what to do with, they had pinned up a figure of a Christmas tree out of green cloth to the wall. On that, May had stitched delicate ornaments, tinsel and a star at the top out of different colored materials. Coulson, after having watched the engineer that made the longest string of lights, was able to put lights on the tree as well. The whole time he had been doing it, cursing under his breath as repeated efforts did not work, he lamented the lack of Fitz. Both had pretended not to see the other's sorrow at not having him with them.
In the center of the room was their low table laden with food that they could not have gotten through regular means. They would never tell their junior agents but May had snuck into the Kree food storage level and stole a hefty amount of food. She had made what she could but there was no traditional roasted turkey or maple glazed ham. Instead she had surprisingly been able to make the May family dumplings from her childhood memories. They weren't exact; the spices different and she wasn't exactly sure what meat it was, but they tasted well enough and she hoped everyone like them. Coulson had been able to locate some candles that were lit on the table, their gentle glow casting an almost otherworldly feel to the room.
On the floor in front of the pinned-up tree were all of Phil and Melinda's letters to their teammates. Also there were two boxes wrapped with bows made from what looked like plastic.
"Alright everyone, place all your letters under the tree and let's have a bit of a party!" Coulson said. Jemma squealed with delight, hurriedly rushing forward to dump her armful of letters, only to turn quickly around and embrace Melinda. The older woman didn't even hesitate to wrap her arms around Jemma, squeezing the scientist close. May liked to imagine that Jemma could feel the strength of the emotions she, and her teammates, invoked within her through the hug. She didn't begrudge Coulson his hug that Jemma was eager to give but she did regret the emptiness of her arms as the bubbly scientist fluttered away.
Mack sidled up to the them, looking about the room with a smile and approval. He bumped fists with Coulson and shook May's hand, thanking them without words. Daisy was already inspecting the boxes on the table, full of games that May and Coulson were able to come up with that didn't require pieces left back in 2017. Tess was the last one to pass by them, still slack jawed and fascinated.
"This is amazing!" She said as she stood next to them.
"Thank you! I wish we had our phones so we could show you Christmas from 2016!" Phil said, eyes crinkling in the corners as he smiled. Melinda felt her heartrate increase at the sight. "We had some wild times. Spiked eggnog and the off-duty agents doing vodka shots does that, though." He said with a laugh. Even Melinda cracked a grin at the memories of a drunk Fitz and overly encouraging Daisy. She turned the conversation quickly.
"This," May said, pointing to the tree. "Is the best we could do regarding a tree but normally Phil tries to find the largest one that will fit in the base. It makes the whole place smell nice, the pine," Phil felt a rush of warming pleasure fill him as he watched Melinda try to explain everything to an already impressed Tess. It was cute, he thought, all the while hoping it lasted through the night. She would get moments of melancholy when too happy, he knew, wondering if she deserved it and he just wanted to prove to her, for now and always, that she did, she did!
"YES!" the shout from Daisy pulled Phil out of his reverie. He watched as his pseudo-daughter pulled out large papers labeled specifically to keep score for charades, along with slips of paper to write the subjects on.
Phil happily joined the team; food was abundant, laughs loud and unbridled and stories shared. Even Tess participated, sharing the good memories she had as well as stories Virgil had told her. They played a few games of charades, Tess surprising everybody by being very good at the game, both the guessing and the acting out. Darts were brought out until Elena was busted making sure that her teammate's dart always hit bullseye or just out of it.
Eventually the celebration wound down to everyone sitting in contented silence on the piled-up cushions and blankets, stomachs full and mood light. Melinda, sitting in the only chair in the room, was observing her team, including Tess in it. She could admit to herself, silently, that she would miss the girl when they went back to the past. She consoled herself that if SHIELD fixed what was wrong then this future wouldn't happen. She ignored the arguments she had heard Fitzsimmons having before about the future being the future no matter what and multiverse theory.
She startled slightly when Phil, leaning back against her legs, shifted, moved to grab a few of the letters. "Okie dokie, people, time to start reading these," He looked up at Melinda. "Do we want to have each person read all theirs at one time or have everyone read one at a time in rounds?" Melinda smiled at the deference he was showing her. She knew it wasn't much but that he was including her in the choice for something as trivial as this made it clear he saw her as an equal.
"Either or. I just want to go last, however we do it." She responded. He chuckled and started handing out the letters to their authors. He was touched to have received a letter addressed to himself and another to Melinda from Tess. Every SHIELD agent had written a letter to Fitz and he passed those to the composers.
"You don't have to read the ones addressed to Fitz if you don't want to, but if you want to sum up what you wrote you are more than welcomed to do so." Phil began. "As a matter of fact, I'll start." He pulled out his rolled-up letter to Fitz, playing with the material. He took confidence from the press of Melinda's knees to his back.
"I am going to take Fitz to a soccer- I'm sorry," he cut himself off with a smile and a laugh from everyone else. Elena explained to Tess the humor of the fact. "to a football game. We're going to have beer, jerseys and we're going to participate in the chants that the fans sing in the crowds. I'll do my best to swing getting a game ball, signed if I can bribe enough people. We'll go to a pub after and talk smack to rival team fans. Whatever he wants to do." There was a brief applause and cheers from the crowd, all knowing that the young man would enjoy that very much.
Melinda told of teaching Fitz Tai Chi to help him with patience and his nerves. Mack wanted to finish "Project RB" which he would not elaborate on. Daisy wanted to go on a trip through Scotland with Fitz, to fulfill a promise made back when they were hunting Quinn. Elena wanted to go to the zoo with Fitz to see the monkeys. They both adored them and she hoped it would improve their relationship which so far centered on sarcasm, mission related intel and the bond they had with Mack.
Jemma, of course, requested to keep her letter private, and was scandalized by Elena's teasing dirty comment. Daisy laughed but defended her friend. "Easy there, YoYo, not in front of Mom and Dad!" She joked. Everyone laughed though Tess caught the way both Melinda and Phil both sat a little straighter and the corners of Phil's eyes crinkled. She was learning that was a good way to measure his happiness.
The next round was everyone's letter to Jemma. Some of them were sweet such as Mack and Daisy's willingness to go to some lectures with her as she loved having the company, some were inappropriate (looking at you, Elena) and she cried at the praise Melinda lavished on her. Jemma hugged Tess' after she had read it. The young scientist felt sad at the simple desire Tess had of spending more time with her before she left. From Phil she received an access code that he promised would lead her to great discoveries but she would have to let him be there when she opened the data files.
Elena elected not to read her letter from Mack until she was in the privacy of their own quarters, which prompted a retaliatory but good-natured remark from Jemma that had Daisy in stitches. Mack bowed down to her sharp wit while Phil buried his head in his hands, the comment bringing back memories of his time with Strike Team Delta and his teammate's constant banter. YoYo still held all the letters to her chest and promised to cherish them. There was a rush of wind and everyone felt a sudden squeeze in the second it took for Elena to get up and make a round of hugs. Phil declared her a cheater; she claimed efficiency.
Mack read his, taking the same route as his girlfriend and not reading her letter aloud. He thanked Daisy and May for their promises of helping him fight better against powered individuals and those smaller and faster than him. He promised to take a look at the trawler with Tess'. He hadn't read Jemma's aloud but he held it up and with a silent thank you. After reading Phil's he groaned. "Not the real thing, though?" Phil's promise was to let him look at the blueprints to Lola's engine and the turbines that gave her flight. Phil raised a brow, opening his mouth to speak.
"Don't touch Lola." His team parroted at him before he could utter a word.
He pouted but played along nonetheless. "And don't you forget it."
Tess laughed as loudly as the rest of them after Daisy and Jemma excitedly told her the story of Lola.
Daisy was next; she took a breath before opening the first one from Jemma. She read it aloud and smiled up at her. "I consider you a sister too. I would be thrilled to meet your mom and dad." Jemma smiled and clapped her hands.
"Once we're not fugitives, again, I'll make the arrangements." Jemma promised. Tess was going to ask how they were fugitives in their own time but Melinda held up a hand, silently telling her not to even bother.
Daisy moved on to the next and readily accepted Mack's offer of going paint-balling. The letter from Tess made her heart clench and she gave the girl a brief side hug. She accepted the challenge from Elena to pit their abilities against each other and see who came out on top. Loser paid for drinks. Daisy picked up the last two letters and delicately held them. "Are these gonna make me cry?" She asked only half teasing.
Melinda hummed and looked down at Phil. He shrugged. "Happy tears." Was her curt response. Daisy took a deep calming breath before breaking the seal on Melinda's. The Assistant Director of SHIELD was correct. When Daisy finished reading she had tears running down her face and she looked up at Melinda with a searching look. "You have made me very proud, Daisy. I want to do what is in that letter. If you want it."
Daisy didn't hesitate. "Of course. Its… its amazing." She whispered. She quietly explained to the group that Melinda had concisely written that she wanted to legally make her a member of the May family and even include her in the family shrine at the May family home. She didn't specify how to legally make her a May, either through adult adoption or the forging of documents, but either way Daisy wanted it with everything in her.
After gratefully using the rag Phil had given her to wipe away her tears she reached for his letter. "I swear…" she said, glaring playfully at him. "No more tears!" She demanded though he had no control over it at that point. She read it quickly and the tears stayed in her eyes, but only just.
"Are you kidding me?" She heard herself ask. They really knew where to hit her where it hurt. He had two things in his letter though he claimed the latter was linked to the former. He promised to officially register her as his protégé at SHIELD, essentially announcing she was the next in line to become Director. When she became Director she would receive Lola as her off duty car as the vehicle had to remain in SHIELD custody and he couldn't think of a better person to give it to.
She got up and hugged everyone, sticking her tongue out at YoYo as the Latina teasingly complained she was taking too long. When she sat back down she was quiet, attempting to dry her tears and calm her emotions in silence. She gave Jemma a watery smile as they both held the letters from their superior officers.
Phil pulled the two wrapped boxes away from the wall and gave them to Tess to open along with her letters. "Melinda and I wanted to give you as much of a 2017 Christmas as possible so we got you what could be considered 'normal' gifts." He explained. "The red one is from Melinda, the white is from me." He passed them over, happy to see the excitement he was looking for in her eyes.
"Well," Tess began, the biggest smile she could ever remember having on her face. "Merry Christmas, everyone." She opened the white gift first, her eyes wide at the brand-new jacket she unfolded from the box. It was made from a double layered, thick material that the Kree wore; it wouldn't wear and tear like her normal clothes did. She wanted to ask how they got it but decided not to question the resourcefulness of the agents. She had a disturbing feeling that she had underestimated them all.
"Thank you! Its beautiful!" She said, honest in her admiration and gratitude. Phil nodded. He had thought she would need one with being in the damn trawler all the time. Grill never made any repairs to the temperature controls of the machine so it was always cold and as one of the main operators Tess was frequently out there in her thin, holey jacket. He wanted her to be warm and safe.
She took the red one next, carefully undoing the wire ribbon. She pulled out a journal. Upon opening the first page she read the title, hand written in neat, large, and uniform letters. "Flight Manual" was above a rough sketch of the trawler below. She flipped through the pages, seeing that Melinda had taken the time to write down every single step and instruction on actually piloting the trawlers for her to study. Pilots got paid more and only a select few were ever given the privilege, another control the Kree used to subjugate the humans on the Lighthouse.
"Oh! This is amazing, May!" Tess tried to put as much emotion as she could in the words. She was so grateful to the two. These items could potentially change her life, not just her day. She wanted to hug them but held out her hand instead. Phil scoffed and pulled her in for a hug, having seen the hesitation in her eyes. She gripped back tightly, slight trembles going through her. She did the same to May, reflecting on the fact that the two older agents did provide immediate comfort from the hugs. Her earlier confusion and curiosity were eliminated in those simple moments of warmth.
She sat down, clearing her throat of the emotion that had bubbled up and grabbed her letters. Most of them were expressing the desire to spend more time with her or explain certain things from 2017 but she knew she would treasure them for the rest of her life. Just holding the letters made her feel wanted and unreasonably happy. It made her look forward to tomorrow, with these people at her side rather than dreading the morning to come. "Hope" Phil had called it.
She realized now why the Kree did their best to stamp it out. This feeling was addictive and dangerous, she could feel it.
Daisy cheered "Your turn!" to Phil as he pulled his letter closer. He looked at Melinda who smiled and shook her head, refusing to give up her position as last. He pouted but opened the letter from Tess. She wanted to spend time with him, to learn from him. She explained how she saw his team gravitate around him and how he resolved conflict with just his words or quickly thought out but highly effective plans. He promised to do his best and thanked her for her compliments. "It's not easy and you have to be open to other ideas or you will never succeed." He warned. "You may always know best but you wont always be right." The statement made no sense to Tess but she supposed he would teach her.
Phil laughed as he read Mack's letter. He turned to him with a large grin on his face. "If we return to exactly when we left the next biggest one is in March, in Chicago." Mack gave a celebratory shake of his fist. Coulson held the letter and explained. "Vintage car show!"
Jemma had written a desire to go to the Peggy Carter exhibit at the Smithsonian, to which Phil more than willingly agreed to. They briefly nerded out over the SHIELD founder, their excitement overflowing and making their teammates laugh at their enthusiasm. He opened the next letter, pleased at what he read. He looked up at YoYo. "Si, yo quiero viajar contigo! Por favor, comes todo comida conmigo. Todo. Me gusta la comida Latina!" he replied.
Elena laughed, nodding her head. "Claro que si. Pero mi comida es mejor." She said with a conspiratorial wink. Melinda translated for the others as the conversation had taken place, rolling her eyes in fond amusement at Phil's ever-present foodie personality.
Finally he got down to Daisy's letter. He opened it and read silently, just in case he got emotional while reading. He knew Daisy and Melinda were his weaknesses, as much as he loved all of his team, and he didn't want to seem anything but a strong pillar to all of them. He was justified in his choice as he read the honest words on the paper.
Daisy wrote to him of how he saved her both physically and emotionally, at how he was the father she always dreamed of having as a child in foster care and even after. He felt his heart beat erratically as he read the list of silly things she wanted to do, from going to the zoo and aquarium together all the way to, if it ever happened ("If!", she insisted) she got married, walking her down the aisle and dancing the father daughter dance with her.
He cleared his throat. "I would love to do all these things with you." He said, locking eyes with her. He saw her swallow the lump in her throat. He tried to add in some levity, for both of their sakes. "If we dress up for Halloween I reserve to right to decide costumes. Which will be Cap and Peggy, just an FYI." It had been a dream of his as a younger man, before SHIELD and even before the Rangers, having a daughter to take trick-or-treating as the legendary figures. Cap and his best girl Peggy. Him and his daughter.
Seems he gave up on the dream too early.
Mack cackled out a sarcastic comment about the skirt of the uniform not being flattering to his figure. Without missing a beat Phil responded. "I think the heels make my butt look great, though." May coughed out a laugh while the rest of the guests busted out laughing, Daisy actually falling over and holding her stomach. Tess was wiping tears out of her eyes while Jemma tried to look unaffected though she was turning red from holding in her laughter.
As the team recovered from his joke he silently read Melinda's letter, heart hammering away in his chest.
'Dear Phil,
I cannot accurately tell you how much you mean to me with just words. You've been there for me through a lot, supported me when I needed it, and never failed to give me the scathing lectures I needed to get back on track. All the way from Sausilito to the end of the world as we know it I have considered you my best friend, which is more than I could ever ask for. We've had our ups and more than a few downs but I wouldn't trade it for the world.
In this letter I vow to do everything that we said we would do but never did. Every page we burned, detailing our would haves and the many ifs we dreamed about, I want to do. I remember one clearly from our time in Omsk that we never shared. I wrote that I wanted to run my hand through your hair or to hold your hand whenever the thought that I love you ran through my mind. I want to do that now.
I want to show you every day in the little ways that I love you. Because I do. More than I'm willing to admit at times. I feel stronger with you and I know I have to be strong when you're not there. I feel that we've raised a family, even if it wasn't how I originally dreamed of it. I can't imagine having done it with anyone else at my side.
I lost you once, to an Asgardian with a temper, and I got you back. I don't want to waste that gift.
I love you.
M. May'
The usual chatter that had occurred when someone was reading a letter in silence did not occur, as if they could feel the gravity of the letter in Phil's hands. It made Melinda uncomfortable but she refused to show it. Phil's breath hitched more than once and she could tell he wanted to do something, hopefully twist around and kiss her, but knew he wouldn't. He knew she was a private person and while he was usually more open about his relationships, though vague on details, he respected her enough to keep theirs private.
Phil looked up from the paper he held in trembling hands, the indescribable elation that he was currently feeling making him unable to stop the tiny movements. He twisted around to face Melinda, his hands dropping to her calves, letter in one hand. He gripped them tight, running his thumbs over the well-defined muscles. "Yes," he said once he managed to regain his voice. "Yes to everything on that list for the rest of our lives." He stared into her eyes, trying to telepathically send his thoughts to her. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
She smiled and cupped his cheeks. "Then we have a plan." She mumbled for his ears only.
She looked up to see Daisy and Jemma staring, wide eyed and hopeful while Elena looked smug. Tess looked charmed whereas Mack was looking away to give them some semblance of privacy. She patted Phil's cheek and released him, making grabby hands at the remaining unopened letters next to him. He passed them to her though she doubted he knew what he was doing. It wasn't until she began reading that he seemed to stumble out of his thoughts but he was clearly still distracted.
She had small a smile on her face though inwardly she was cracking up at Tess' simple three lined letter to hopefully train to be as badass as she was. She nodded to the girl, already fond of her but her letter making her more so. She read through Elena's proposal for starting a tea collection when they established a new base and Mack's surprising request to paint with her. Jemma's letter caught her off guard as the young scientist admitted to having overheard Phil talking about her love of ice skating as a young girl. Jemma made a request to go skating together as she herself was a big fan of the activity. When she was done assuring Jemma she would love to do so when it next got cold she felt Phil's gaze return to her, soft and protective, proud and heavy. It made every nerve tingle and she felt her own heart rate increase at the mere thought of how much he loved her.
Daisy's letter was much like the one she had given Phil, jiving great with Melinda's already extended offer to make her an official member of the May family. She asked if May could teach her more of that side of her ancestry, even if it wasn't from the same traditions from her birth mother. "Yes," Melinda assured her. "And you'll have an eager grandmother willing to help." She said with a smile, a small pang of homesickness hitting her as she thought of her mother. Daisy gave a fist pump of victory as the others laughed at the explanation.
Finally she grabbed the letter from Phil. She took a breath before sliding the paper out of its envelop and unfolding it.
'Dearest Melinda May,
I love you. I have loved you almost since the day we met. When we were discussing what to do about the Haig in the ruins of our base I said things "maybe" were real on my end too. There is no maybe about it. There never has been.
My (new) life I have vowed to dedicate to you; your happiness, your safety, your dreams and desires. To support you when you need it, even when we're fighting, even when I have my doubts. I want to challenge you to be the best that you can be, even if it makes you mad at me because I know if I don't you'll be disappointed in yourself later. I want to be the reason you're angry on a Sunday morning because there are dirty dishes in the sink or socks on the floor. I want to help you repaint the kitchen a dozen times because you saw a new shade you think would look amazing and throw popcorn at the TV while we watch corny action movies. I will be there when we lose someone and you need to let yourself be vulnerable. I will be there when you triumph over our enemies or your own demons.
Even if I have to do all these things as 'Phil, your friend' I want to be there. Because I love you and I will never stop loving you.
P. Coulson
P.S. I would leave a kiss mark but I don't think it would look as charming coming from me than from you. Also, I don't have any lipstick. Just know that I would, with your permission, really like to kiss you when I say that I love you out loud.'
Melinda hadn't noticed the tears leaving hot sticky tracks down her face until she tried to laugh and her breathing hitched. By God she loved this man. He was sweet, supportive and such a dork it set butterflies loose in her stomach and sent her heart racing. He was perfect in all the right ways and flawed in so many others, he fit perfectly against her jagged edges and he offered his strong shoulders to carry the heavy weight of her baggage.
She looked down at him, wiping the tears from her eyes before folding the letter back up and putting the letter into its envelope. She noticed all eyes on her, even the usual prudish Mack, and refrained from kissing the hell out of her best friend. Instead she gave a simple statement. "Permission granted, Director." The loud laugh Phil released warmed her, all the way to her toes and back again to her finger tips.
Daisy made a noise of complaint. "Aww, come on! I want details!" She pouted.
"That's classified," Phil said, keeping in line with Melinda's response. Daisy groaned and tossed herself onto her back.
Letters read, tears cried and dried, everyone went back to the table for more food and quiet conversation going, laughter loud and frequent. Melinda noticed Daisy walk away briefly but figured she was going down the hall to the communal bathroom. When she rejoined the group there was one last round of charades before they decided it was bed time. They may not have work the next day but they had planned it to where they would use the day to catch up on their sleep or any personal activities that needed handling.
As the room still had the decorations up and was in a disarray the junior agents grabbed their pallets and left the room. Tess was laughing and bickering with Jemma over the results of their last game when Daisy and Elena gave a cry of triumph, each putting a hand on the person next to the them to stop them from leaving. All eyes turned to the door they had just exited out of, more specifically at where Daisy was pointing at a green ball with red dots on it.
"What…" Mack began to ask but stopped when it dawned on him. He looked at the two agents beneath it, both staring at the makeshift mistletoe.
May kicked herself for being too involved in a conversation with Phil to realize what their youngest had been up to. She looked over at Phil, ignoring Jemma's quiet explanation of what was going on to Tess. He returned her look with a grin, a silent request for permission.
She smiled, the butterflies taking flight once again, and placed her hands on his chest, ready to use him as a support to tip toe up to him. Phil cupped her cheek with one hand, the other falling to her hip. His eyes were bright and held barley contained excitement that spread to her with an almost inaudible giggle she would never be able to live down.
"Melinda May," He said, loud enough for everyone to hear. "I love you." His voice was hoarse but confident as he said it, taking her breath and she felt her heart beat erratically in her chest. He leaned down to her and she surged up, grabbing his jacket to hold him to her.
Their lips connected and it was magnificent. It was a cozy fire and a clear spring day, the pleasure of a warm bath and a chocolate delicacy. It was honey sweet but with burning coals quick to follow. They had a quick taste of each other, careful not to scar the children, and trembled at the surge of desire that seemed to pass from one to the other in an endless spiral as their senses narrowed down to how the other felt in their arms.
The separated for air, senses slowly returning until they heard the clapping and cat calling from their daughters. Melinda laughed and buried her face into Phil's heaving chest as he fought to regain his breath. His lips pulled into a smile as he held the love of his life closer to him. God, he was the luckiest son of a bitch in the universe.
He felt the trembling of Melinda's laughter and couldn't help but laugh himself, thanking Daisy for the finish touch to an amazing Christmas. He accepted everyone's congratulations for both himself and Melinda who couldn't bring herself to pull away from him. He watched them retreat to Tess' room, loud and boisterous, overjoyed at his good fortune. As their voices faded Melinda peeked up. Her face was red but her eyes were bright.
She pulled away, using her hands to smooth down his jacket. He caught her hands, his little grin lighting up his face as he looked at Melinda, seeing nothing but perfection.
Melinda licked her lips and finally spoke. "I love you too, Phil."
His jacket was scrunched again as they kissed, though this time he was able to lean against a closed door. They refused to do more than that they agreed between heated kisses and searing touches. Phil promised though, when they got back to 2017 and had time, they would scrunch up far more than his jacket.
Fin
If you stuck around this long I thank you and I hope you enjoyed. If you see any glaring errors (or minor ones too) Please let me know so that I may fix it.