Mizuki's Audition Tape:
Static on the screen appears briefly, then transitions to a large Asian themed studio room. Mizuki is standing in front of two cinder blocks parallel to each other while an open cardboard box is left open next to her.
Mizuki: Is the camera on, Oba-chan?
Oba-chan: I think so. Does red light mean camera is on?
Mizuki nods her head in confirmation.
Mizuki: Yes, Oba-chan.
Oba-chan: Okay, then I ready when you are.
Mizuki: Good. (clears her throat) Hello Total Drama Producers! My name is Mizuki and I really hope you will consider choosing me as a contestant for the new season of Total Drama!
Oba-chan: You don't sound confident! You sound like sniveling weakling! Put more power in voice!
Mizuki: I'm just trying not to sound too braggy, Oba-chan. I don't want to sound arrogant.
Oba-chan: There nothing wrong with confidence! You are too humble, child! You must show confidence if you want to get picked for this show! You are suppose to promote your talents and abilities if you want drama show to pick you! I'll turn off camera now; we try this again with more power!
Oba-chan turns the camera off and turns it back on a couple of minutes later.
Oba-chan: Red light is on. Camera is on.
Mizuki: (clears her throat and adds more confidence to her voice) Hello Total Drama Producers! My name is MIzuki and I would definitely be a great contestant if you choose me! (pauses for a moment) Was that better, Oba-chan?
Oba-chan: Eh, better than first try. But keep going, and remember...confidence!
Mizuki: So in case all of you are wondering, the old woman who is giving me tips is my grandmother. I'm Japanese-Canadian, so I call her Oba-chan, which means "grandmother" in Japanese. Say hi to the producers, Oba-chan.
Oba-chan turns the camera towards herself.
Oba-chan: Producers of Drama show, you would be insane not to choose my granddaughter for your t.v. show! You will see, she has many talents to offer! (Oba-chan turns the camera back towards her granddaughter).
Mizuki: (blushes bashfully) Thank you, Oba-chan.
Oba-chan: Don't look so bashful and modest. Be proud of your abilities! Tell drama producers what you can do.
Mizuki: (faces the camera with confidence) Right! To pick up where we left off, you should know that I do have quite a few skills to bring to the island. I get along with pretty much everyone and I am a team player all the way! I'm also pretty smart as well...
Oba-chan: (sighed heavily) Shin'ainaru-shin no ko yo! Anata wa amarini mo kenkyodesu! Anata no chisei wa anata no kurasumeito yori mo sugurete iru koto wa yoku shitte imasu! Anata wa ōgoe de sakebu tame ni, kōdona sūgaku no jugyō o toru!
(English Subtitles: Dear God child! You are too humble! You know darn well that your intelligence is superior to your classmates! You take advanced math classes, for crying out loud!)
Mizuki: Mā, watashi wa takai chisei o jiman suru tsumori wanai! Tokuni tōtarudorama no purode~yūsā ni, karera wa sudeni Noa to iu namae no shira rete inai nōhau o motte imasu!
(English Subtitles: Well, I'm not going to go around bragging about my high intelligence! Especially to the Total Drama producers; they've already got an obnoxious know-it-all named Noah!)
Oba-chan: Noa wa dochiradesu ka?
(English Subtitles: Which one is Noah?)
Mizuki: Shīzun 1 no dojjibōru no episōdo o oboete imasu ka? Watashitachiha issho ni sono koto o mita koto wa tashikadesu ka?
(English Subtitles: Remember the dodge ball episode from season one? I'm pretty sure we watched that one together?)
Oba-chan: (snaps her fingers) Ā sō! Dojjibōru no shiai o kobanda shōnen shōnen! Sono yōna taida wa kare ni fumeiyo o motarasu!
(English Subtitles: Ah yes! Scrawny boy who refused to play the game of dodgeball! Such laziness brings him disgrace!)
Mizuki: (giggles than faces the camera) In case you were wondering, I was speaking Japanese!
Oba-chan: And quite excellently for being raised to speak English as primary language.
Mizuki: With you as my teacher, my Japanese better be perfect or else. (chuckles lightly) I also speak several other languages such as Chinese, Korean, Spanish, French, and I've recently began learning Italian. Learning to speak Japanese, Korean, and Chinese was Oba-chan's idea, but the other languages were something I wanted to learn as a hobby. And who knows? If I win the million dollars, I might spend it on a trip to any one of those countries where I speak their language. I would also like to point out that I'm well aware that being smart isn't enough to win this show. I have seen all three seasons of Total Drama and I know that Total Drama will involve intense physical challenges that can land me in the hospital if I'm lucky. (Mizuki smirked at the camera) But let me show you all why I am not worried one bit!
Mizuki kneels down towards the box and pulls out five blocks of solid concrete stacked together and placed the on top of the two parallel cinder blocks as if she carried textbooks. Mizuki cracked her knuckles, and raised her right hand. She lowered and raised her right hand a few times as if she was determining the amount of force to put in her chop.
Mizuki: EEEYYYYAAAAAHHHHH!
Mizuki struck the blocks of concrete with her hand, causing the blocks of concrete to be perfectly sliced through. Mizuki gave the camera a smile of confidence as she placed her hands on her hips.
Oba-chan: That's my granddaughter! I would like to see the contestants do that!
Mizuki: (still showing a confident smile) You saw it right here! I chopped through five blocks of solid concrete perfectly! I've spent twelve years of my life learning martial arts from Oba-chan! She may be old, but on her side of the family, age only makes you stronger! Especially if you've been training every day for over sixty years.
Oba-chan: My family also has great endurance! Our bones put diamonds to shame with their ridiculously strong durability. Whatever you producers throw at my granddaughter, she can take it!
Mizuki: (muttering to herself quietly) Thanks Oba-chan, you just signed my death warrant. (faces camera) Oba-chan is right; my Japanese side of the family are very strong. That is why I think I would be quite a formidable contestant on Total Drama. With a combination brains, brawn, and an honorable code to boot, I can guarantee high ratings for the show. If you pick me to be on Total Drama, I ensure you that I will win with honor or lose with honor. Either way, expect a lot from me as a contestant. (smiles with confidence) Especially when you see what I can really do with my other hidden talents. If you want to know the full extent of what I can really do, you'll just have to find out by picking me. (bows) Anata no jikan o arigatō!
(English Subtitles: Thank you for your time!)
Static on the screen appears, end of audition tape...
Jordan's Audition Tape:
Static on the screen appears briefly, then transitions to a greenhouse that is filled with many different varieties of plants and has several parrots flying around, inside a bird cage, and/or perched on something. Jordan stands in front of the camera with a macaw parrot perched on his shoulder. In the background, the squawking of several other birds can be heard along with the sound of birds rustling in their cages.
Jordan: Hey there, producers! My name is Jordan and I would totally rock on Total Drama! The audition sheet says that this season of Total Drama is going to take place back on the island from season 1, which is not only totally awesome for Total Drama fans like me to go to the place where it all started, but will also be a huge advantage to me as well. I'm really into plants, as you can see from my family's vast collection of plants in our greenhouse, and I'm also an expert with animals as well. I love all animals, but my favorite animal is birds, like Lucy over here.
Lucy: (squawks) Over here! (nuzzles Jordan)
Jordan: (strokes Lucy under the chin) Plants and animals have always been interesting to me. Maybe because my dad is a veterinarian and my mom is a botanist. Anyway, my knowledge of animals and plants will definitely come in handy in surviving anything the island has to throw at me. Oh! I should also mention that I'm also a gifted musician as well. Honestly, I'm not sure what my musical talents could contribute to for my team unless we are doing another musical like last season, but I thought I should bring that up. I can literally play any instrument anyone can hand me. I play guitar, bass, drums, piano, the trumpet...(the video fast forwards as Jordan continues listing off instruments. After about three minutes of the video has been fast forwarded, the video resumes at normal speed)...the accordion, the xylophone, the violin, the french horn...(the video fasts forward again. After another three minutes of the video has been fast forwarded, the video resumes at normal speed)...and I believe that's all the instruments I can play. Again, I'm not sure how that will help me in the game, but I thought pointing out my talents would make myself more appealing. So I hope you will pick me as a contestant for this season of Total Drama! Though if I do get on the show, I will totally miss my awesome girlfriend, Mizuki. And if I don't get on the show...well, I'll still miss my girlfriend since she's auditioning for this show as well. Mizuki is the most amazing girl I've ever known; obviously she'll land herself a spot on Total Drama without a doubt. Honestly, I think she has more of a chance of getting on Total Drama than I do. It would be cool if we were both able to get on the show, but (chuckles lightly) what are the chances of that?
Static on the screen appears, end of audition tape...
Carly's Audition Tape:
Static on the screen appears briefly, then transitions to the bleachers, where Carly is sitting with her legs crossed while holding the camera with her right hand. From the background behind her, several football players were having football practice while she recorded her audition tape. Carly was dressed in her school's cheerleader uniform and had pom-poms in her lap.
Carly: Hi there, I'm Carly and I believe I would be a great contestant for Total Drama for several reasons. (twirls a piece of her hair) For one thing, I believe I have the athletic ability to handle any sort of intense physical challenges the show has to throw at me. I've been a cheerleader since 8th grade and I've been taking gymnastics since I was little, so physical challenges should be pretty easy with my gym and athletic skills. I'm also a team player and I like to believe I can get along with anyone or at least be able to work with anyone. I am also a solid A and B student, so in case you were thinking I was one of those stereotypical "airhead cheerleaders" whose IQ is about the size of their shoe size, I can assure you that I am not a ditsy airhead. Al-...
Carly was interrupted by the loud blaring sound of a whistle and the sound of football players yelling "touchdown!" and screaming their heads off like cheering banshees. Carly looks annoyed by this and rolls her eyes as she looks back at the camera.
Carly: (reaches towards her ear) It's stuff like this that almost makes me glad that I'm deaf. (turns off hearing aid) I suppose I should explain that I am deaf. I've been deaf for pretty much since I was born. Although I can't hear normally, my hearing aid makes up for that and allows me to hear sounds that I wouldn't have been able to hear without it. It's also beneficial for when I'm trying to tune out annoying or too loud sounds around me. I know that me being deaf would seem like it would put me at a disadvantage, but just because I can't hear doesn't mean I'm helpless. For example, I am also an expert at lip reading so I can understand what others are saying around me or towards me.
Football Player: Hey Carly, heads up!
Carly: (unaware of what the football player just said continues) So if you pick me for the next season of Total Drama, I promise that you won't regret it. This deaf girl is going to show the world just how far she can get even without the ability to hear normally! (A football starts flying closer towards Carly who remains unaware) I guarantee you I am going to rock on Total. Drama. Reveng-...
Carly is cut off by the football hitting her in the back of the head, causing her to face plant onto the camera. Static on the screen appears, end of audition tape...
Jason's Audition Tape:
Static on the screen appears briefly, then transitions to a very crappy and messy looking apartment. Police sirens can be heard from the background as Jason faces the camera while sitting in a damaged bean bag chair with duct tape on several areas of the bean bag chair.
Jason: (deadpan tone) Yo, I'm Jason! And I'm just gonna be straight with you; I don't watch Total Drama whatever that much. I've really only watched the show whenever I'm hanging out a friend's house; they think the show is awesome. I've only seen several episodes of the show but they were out of order and from each season. But you don't have to be an expert on Total Drama to win Total Drama. If the cast from seasons 1 through 3 can survive their first season, than I can without a doubt survive as well. As you can see, unless your blind, I live in a crappy apartment building in a very rough neighborhood. I had to learn to survive this neighborhood before I could even walk or talk. One mistake can get you shot at by some douche bag, stabbed by a homeless guy with a broken beer bottle, raped by a registered sex offender, and/or mugged by some punk or another homeless guy. (sighs heavily) Yeah...it's really messed up over here, especially if you live in this crap shack. The landlord's a douche bag who doesn't care about his tenants or takes care of HIS apartment building, and the neighbors are annoying as hell! There are only a few decent people who live in this building; the rest of them are a bunch of crooks, drug-junkies, typical grade A (*beep*)holes, occasionally a depressed person who "vacates" after the first month or less, and families with 24/7 domestic disputes.
The muffled sound of a door slamming shut can be heard.
Jason: (sighs heavily and rolls his eyes) Speak of the devil...the jack(*beep*) that lives next to me is home late. (sarcastically) This will be fun...
(As the following conversation takes place, Jason silently mimics the man and woman as they argue)
Woman: There you are! Where have you been?! Do you have any idea what time it is?!
Man: (*beep*) you, you (*beep*)! I was out!
Woman: Out where?!
Man: NONE OF YOUR (*BEEP*)(*BEEP*) business! That's where I was!
Woman: None of my business?! It's freaking midnight, you (*beep*)! It's none of my business to know where my husband is doing out so late?!
Man: Your (*BEEP*)(*BEEP*) right it's none of your business!
Woman: I bet you were out partying with your (*BEEP*)!
Man: DO NOT CALL HER THAT!
Woman: YOU ADMIT IT! YOU (*BEEP*)ing (*BEEP*)head!
Man: Y'know what?! Yes, I admit it! I was (*Beep*)ing! And while we're at it, I've got a bone to pick with you, too! I found two hundred dollars that I didn't spend listed on our bank statement! What the hell did you buy?!
Woman: I bought some new curtains!
Man: OOOHHH! Well ain't that just fan-(*beep*)ing-tastic! It's not like we have curtains! Just those (*beep*)ing things that hang down the windows! What were they again?!
Woman: Other than ugly, they're old rags! I was trying to brighten up this (*beep*)y apartment! In fact, those curtains might just add value to this whole crapper we live in!
Man: You're always spending money we don't have on (*beep*) we don't need! Who do you think pays for everything around here?!
Woman: That would be me, you son of a (*beep*)! Your crap job doesn't even pay a quarter of our rent!
The couple continued fighting as Jason stopped mimicking them and rolled his eyes.
Jason: I have to put up with that kind of bull all the time. Y'know what's the worse part? The apartment walls are supposed to be really thick! I swear if I get on this show, I will do whatever it takes to win so I can finally move my dad and I out of this crap hole, far away from our annoying neighbors like the Figpuckers next-door! Maybe then my dad will be motivated to get his life tog-...
Jason was cut off by the sound of breaking glass. Jason sighed heavily and rolled his eyes as he stood up.
Jason: I swear, that's it! I can't listen to this anymore! (Walks out of the camera's sight and starts banging on the wall) Hey! Mr. and Mrs. Pig(*beep*)er! SHUT THE HELL UP!
Man: (*beep*) you! You little piece of (*beep*)! This ain't none of your (*beep*)(*beep*) business!
Jason: Then either fix your marriage or get a divorce already you (*beep*)ing douche bag!
Man: Why don't you go snort crack with that (*beep*)ing cracker you call a father, you son of a (*beep*)!
The room went silent for a moment. Then Jason walked back over to the camera, obviously trying his best to suppress his rage. His right eye was twitching in anger, but he maintained his usual deadpan look.
Jason: (calmly) I gotta go beat the living (*beep*) out of a certain (*beep*)hat by kicking his (*beep*)ing (*beep*). Think about picking me for the next Total Drama and I'll show you how much of a bad(*beep*) I can be!
Static on the screen appears, end of audition tape...
Luke's and Luna's Audition Tape:
Static on the screen appears briefly, then transitions to a beach. Luke and Luna stand in front of the camera while also standing next to a surfboard and dressed in their swimsuits.
Luna: Yo Troy, is the camera rolling?
Troy: Camera's rolling dudes, whenever you guys are ready!
Luke: Cool! What's up, TD producers? I'm the radically awesomely intelligent fanatic of the strange, Luke Keaton!
Luna: (snickers at Luke's introduction) And I'm Luke's more athletic, more awesome, OLDER sister, Luna Keaton!
Luke: (fake coughs) By ten minutes...
Luna: (fake coughs) still older than you...
The two looked at each other and laughed.
Luke: In case you haven't figured it out yet, Luna and I are fraternal twins.
Luna: And we're totally super close! We've been doing everything together since we were born.
Luke: We're not quite exactly alike though. And I don't just mean the fact that Luna has boobs and I have kiwis.
Both twins laugh together again.
Luna: Yeah, we also have slightly different personalities as well. For example, I'm more into sports than my brother and more exciting.
Luke: (chuckling) Not gonna deny, you do make life interesting. As for me, I'm the more intelligent twin.
Luna: Don't get the wrong idea though, I'm smart! Luke's just more intellectually gifted than I am. But I'm cool with it. He can be the brains and I'll be the brawn.
Luke: That's why we make such a great team! And just a heads up to you producers, if you want just one of us, then forget it!
Luna: True that! My brother and I are doing this audition together because we want to be on Total Drama together.
Both: So basically it's both of us or none of us!
Both of them laughed together.
Both: Yeah, sometimes we do that to!
Both of them start laughing together again. Static on the screen appears, end of audition tape...