A/N: Um, okay, ya'll be forewarned: First real fic (not poetry) for CB. I'm a known X-Men: Evolution writer, and this is my shot at CB. Take it lightly, tho' I don't mind flames. Plus I'm not the greatest at humor.... *shrugs*
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"Oh Spike-Spike! It's time to get up!" Ed hung upside down over Spike's bed. Bare pipes and beams crisscrossed everywhere, so she had a literal highway at her disposal.
"Not now, Ed. I have a headache!" Spike coughed, and took a pillow and put it over his head.
"Uh-oh, Ed thinks Spike-Spike is sick! He shouldn't have ran around yesterday in the rain with no coat!" Ed scolded. Spike coughed again.
"Ed, just go away and annoy Faye or Jet, okay?" Spike said through the pillow. Ed flipped off the beam and landed on the floor. She sat down on the edge of his bed.
"Ed can't! Faye-Faye and Jet-Jet not here!" She told him. He sat straight up and looked at her, half cross-eyed.
"What?! What do you mean they're not here?!"
"Never came home from last night." Ed said. "Spike-Spike, what wrong?"
"Nothing... Just that they had all the bounty money and..... Ed, do you know where they went?" Spike asked, almost scared at the answer.
"Ed not sure. Faye-Faye said something about 'Sin City'. Spike-Spike, what's sin?" Spike groaned and laid back down. He coughed again.
"They're probably in jail. Great." He started to get out of bed.
"What is Spike-Spike doing?" Ed asked.
"Going to track down those two, that's what." Ed pushed Spike back down onto the bed.
"No! Spike-Spike sick and has to stay in bed! Faye-Faye and Jet-Jet are all growed up! Can handle themselves!" Spike gave her an incredulous look. She was giving him orders? And he was taking them? From a thirteen year old? ~Ugh, I must be sick.~
"Fine, you're right. They're adults." ~Some of the time, anyhow.~ "I'll stay in bed."
"Good!" Ed, sat quietly for minute, then got a smile on her face. She hopped back up onto the beam above the bed and dashed off somewhere. ~I have got to teach her how to use doors one of these days....~
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A half hour later Ed scampered back into the room. Spike was dozing, but awoke when he heard her move around. He was somewhat light sleeper, and even though she was trying to be quiet, he heard her.
"Ed, what are you doing?"
"Ed made chicken noodle soup and brought Spike-Spike medicine." He sat up, and saw that indeed she had a tray with bowl of soup, a glass of water, and good old Tylenol.
"Thanks, Ed." And he meant it too. He took the Tylenol and drank the glass of water. He looked suspiciously at the soup. He had eaten Ed's cooking before, and usually ended up praying to the throne. "What is that, again?"
"Chicken noodle soup." Ed said, setting the tray down on his end table.
"Never heard of it. Is it from Earth?" He asked.
"Spike-Spike is right! Whenever you are sick on Earth you eat chicken noodle soup and feel all better!" Ed said, smiling. Spike raised an eyebrow just looked at the bowl. "Don't make Ed feed Spike-Spike!"
Spike took it and ate it. The last thing he wanted was for Ed to feed him like a baby. It actually wasn't half bad. Then again, he couldn't really taste, so.... He'd rather not think about that. When he was done he set the bowl down on the tray and leaned back against the wall. ~Jeez, Ed wasn't lying. I do feel better.~
"Spike-Spike okay?" She asked.
"Yeah, Spike-Spike's okay." ~Why does she insist on doubling everyone's name except herself and Ein?~
"Good, now time for entertainment!" Ed took the tray and took off back down the beam. ~Uh-oh. Should I ask?~ She was back in a few minutes with a basket full of things. "First up, impersonations!"
"This should be stunning." Spike muttered to himself, as Ed dug through the basket. She came up with headband and case of makeup.
"Well, Spike, seems to me you can't handle the weather." Ed said, pretending to be Faye. About then, Ein wondered in through the door and looked at Ed. "Bad Ein! Faye going to eat all your dog food!" Ein whimpered. "Don't worry, Ein, Ed just pretending to be Faye!"
"Not bad, Ed. Need to put more bitchy attitude into, though." Spike told her. She nodded, and paused for a minute before continuing.
"Faye is the greatest bounty hunter of all time! She is queen of the hunters! And the rest of you are... well... pretty pathetic. Faye means, c'mon, how do you think you can ever match up to her standards?" Ed had the look, the voice, and the attitude.
"Not bad." Spike said. Ed held up a hand.
"Faye was not done! Faye must go on and on about her beauty still! And how lovely her outfits are! Clothes and makeup! Clothes and makeup!" Ed took the makeup case and pretended to put it on. "Strike a pose!" Ed said, doing so. She then dug through the basket and finding and holding up Faye's normal attire. She gave it a dirty look. Then, in her own voice just loud enough for Spike to hear, she said, "Ed don't know how you can wear this and not get painful wedgie."
Spike lost it. He started laughing, and even clapped lightly, while Ed took a bow. Ein barked, and Ed bowed to him as well. Spike then started coughing again. Ed hurriedly went and got a glass of water from his bathroom. Spike drank it, making his sore throat feel better.
"Maybe Ed should do no more impersonations." Ed said.
"No, Ed, I just need a cigarette, that's all." Spike started to reach for them on the side table but Ed slapped his hand. "Hey!"
"Ed says cigarettes are bad! Spike-Spike should not smoke them! He should quit!" Ed commanded. Once again the incredulous look. Spike shrugged.
"Whatever." He said.
"Promise Ed that Spike-Spike will stop! Please!" ~Man, she's insistent. Just agree now and take a few when she's gone.~
"Alright, Ed." Ed nodded then went digging through the basket again. She stopped and looked up at him. "Now what?"
"Close eyes!" She said. Spike, not feeling like arguing closed his eyes. After a few minutes, she said, "Okay, guess who Ed is!"
Spike opened his eyes and did a double take. Ed was dressed in one of his suits. It was about twenty times too big for her. She had to hold the pants on. He just shook his head and smiled, waving her over.
"Spike-Spike like?" She said.
"Well, one more thing." He took a tie off his table and put it on for her. "There. Perfect!" Ein jumped on the bed and dropped something in Spike's lap. It was his camera. "Ein, this doesn't work."
"It work! Ed fixed it! Put film in too!" Spike started to ask where she got film, then decided against it. ~Knowing her, she probably made it.~ "Take picture!"
"Okay, hold on." He looked through the lens as Ed smiled and spread her arms, showing off her outfit. Click. "There, happy?"
"Yeah!" Ed said. "Ed tired of impersonations. Will Spike-Spike play game with Ed?"
"I don't know, Ed. I'm kinda tired. Let me take a nap then we'll play, okay?" Ed pouted but nodded and took off yet again. Spike pulled the covers up over his head and went to sleep.
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"Spike-Spike, wake up!" Ed said, jumping from the banister to the bed, making it bounce about four feet. Spike glanced at the clock. It had only been an half-hour.
"Ed, I meant a nap for a few hours." Ed pouted again. ~Ah man, not the pout....~ It got him every time and she knew it. Thank God Faye didn't. "Alright, let's play. But no chess!"
They ended up playing checkers. Chinese checkers, to be exact. They were using a hologram board, projected by Ed's laptop. It was hard for Ed to type in a move because she was still wearing Spike's suit and the sleeves kept sliding down past her hand. But they kept playing over and over, everything from checkers to poker, until late afternoon.
Soon Ed became sleepy, and curled up on the bottom corner of Spike's bed. Ein was asleep in the other corner. Spike shook his head and the irony of it, set Ed's laptop on the floor, and went to sleep himself.
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"I cannot believe you got us thrown in jail!" Faye yelled at Jet. Jet just rolled his eyes, knowing perfectly well it was her cheating that got them in. The cops had confiscated her dice and anklet, ticking her off even more.
As she ranted Jet looked around the ship for Spike. No sign of him. Or Ed. Or Ein. That worried him a little bit. In the kitchen he found an empty bowl and glass. Someone had eaten. But where were they? Faye kept ranting.
"Faye, will you shut up and help me find Spike?" He said. Faye gave him a deadly glare. No one, and she meant NO ONE told her to shut up. Jet sighed and took off down to their rooms.
He knocked lightly on Spike's door, but there was no answer. He opened it and was almost floored by what he saw. Ed was asleep on the bed, wearing one Spike's suits, her laptop, still on a poker game hologram, was on the floor, Ein was also sleeping on bed, and Spike was curled up sideways at the top of his bed. ~Okay, since when does Spike allow Ed and Ein near him let alone sleep on his bed?!~ "Faye! Get in here!"
Faye sulked in, glaring at him. He pointed to the bed. The glare turned to a look of disbelief. She then spotted something on Spike's side table. A camera. With a grin she tiptoed over, snatched it, and came back over. Jet bit his lip so he didn't laugh. Faye focused it and snapped a shot, which caused a chain reaction.
First the noise woke Ein up, which woke Ed up since she was using him as a pillow, and she woke Spike up by shouting, "Hey!"
"Ed, no more games. Go make some more soup." Spike said, not knowing Faye and Jet stood there, trying their hardest not to laugh. It didn't work. They began laughing, and Spike froze.
"Spike-Spike! Faye-Faye and Jet-Jet are back and they took a picture!" Spike groaned.
"Ed, I think I'm going to need more Tylenol."
A/N: Bad, huh? Yeah, I thought so. What the hell, right? Like I said before, flames are fine. Oh, and I know the cigarette thing is a little strange, but I just wrote this and didn't go back and edit it. That's why it just kinda rambles on.... and on.... and on....
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"Oh Spike-Spike! It's time to get up!" Ed hung upside down over Spike's bed. Bare pipes and beams crisscrossed everywhere, so she had a literal highway at her disposal.
"Not now, Ed. I have a headache!" Spike coughed, and took a pillow and put it over his head.
"Uh-oh, Ed thinks Spike-Spike is sick! He shouldn't have ran around yesterday in the rain with no coat!" Ed scolded. Spike coughed again.
"Ed, just go away and annoy Faye or Jet, okay?" Spike said through the pillow. Ed flipped off the beam and landed on the floor. She sat down on the edge of his bed.
"Ed can't! Faye-Faye and Jet-Jet not here!" She told him. He sat straight up and looked at her, half cross-eyed.
"What?! What do you mean they're not here?!"
"Never came home from last night." Ed said. "Spike-Spike, what wrong?"
"Nothing... Just that they had all the bounty money and..... Ed, do you know where they went?" Spike asked, almost scared at the answer.
"Ed not sure. Faye-Faye said something about 'Sin City'. Spike-Spike, what's sin?" Spike groaned and laid back down. He coughed again.
"They're probably in jail. Great." He started to get out of bed.
"What is Spike-Spike doing?" Ed asked.
"Going to track down those two, that's what." Ed pushed Spike back down onto the bed.
"No! Spike-Spike sick and has to stay in bed! Faye-Faye and Jet-Jet are all growed up! Can handle themselves!" Spike gave her an incredulous look. She was giving him orders? And he was taking them? From a thirteen year old? ~Ugh, I must be sick.~
"Fine, you're right. They're adults." ~Some of the time, anyhow.~ "I'll stay in bed."
"Good!" Ed, sat quietly for minute, then got a smile on her face. She hopped back up onto the beam above the bed and dashed off somewhere. ~I have got to teach her how to use doors one of these days....~
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A half hour later Ed scampered back into the room. Spike was dozing, but awoke when he heard her move around. He was somewhat light sleeper, and even though she was trying to be quiet, he heard her.
"Ed, what are you doing?"
"Ed made chicken noodle soup and brought Spike-Spike medicine." He sat up, and saw that indeed she had a tray with bowl of soup, a glass of water, and good old Tylenol.
"Thanks, Ed." And he meant it too. He took the Tylenol and drank the glass of water. He looked suspiciously at the soup. He had eaten Ed's cooking before, and usually ended up praying to the throne. "What is that, again?"
"Chicken noodle soup." Ed said, setting the tray down on his end table.
"Never heard of it. Is it from Earth?" He asked.
"Spike-Spike is right! Whenever you are sick on Earth you eat chicken noodle soup and feel all better!" Ed said, smiling. Spike raised an eyebrow just looked at the bowl. "Don't make Ed feed Spike-Spike!"
Spike took it and ate it. The last thing he wanted was for Ed to feed him like a baby. It actually wasn't half bad. Then again, he couldn't really taste, so.... He'd rather not think about that. When he was done he set the bowl down on the tray and leaned back against the wall. ~Jeez, Ed wasn't lying. I do feel better.~
"Spike-Spike okay?" She asked.
"Yeah, Spike-Spike's okay." ~Why does she insist on doubling everyone's name except herself and Ein?~
"Good, now time for entertainment!" Ed took the tray and took off back down the beam. ~Uh-oh. Should I ask?~ She was back in a few minutes with a basket full of things. "First up, impersonations!"
"This should be stunning." Spike muttered to himself, as Ed dug through the basket. She came up with headband and case of makeup.
"Well, Spike, seems to me you can't handle the weather." Ed said, pretending to be Faye. About then, Ein wondered in through the door and looked at Ed. "Bad Ein! Faye going to eat all your dog food!" Ein whimpered. "Don't worry, Ein, Ed just pretending to be Faye!"
"Not bad, Ed. Need to put more bitchy attitude into, though." Spike told her. She nodded, and paused for a minute before continuing.
"Faye is the greatest bounty hunter of all time! She is queen of the hunters! And the rest of you are... well... pretty pathetic. Faye means, c'mon, how do you think you can ever match up to her standards?" Ed had the look, the voice, and the attitude.
"Not bad." Spike said. Ed held up a hand.
"Faye was not done! Faye must go on and on about her beauty still! And how lovely her outfits are! Clothes and makeup! Clothes and makeup!" Ed took the makeup case and pretended to put it on. "Strike a pose!" Ed said, doing so. She then dug through the basket and finding and holding up Faye's normal attire. She gave it a dirty look. Then, in her own voice just loud enough for Spike to hear, she said, "Ed don't know how you can wear this and not get painful wedgie."
Spike lost it. He started laughing, and even clapped lightly, while Ed took a bow. Ein barked, and Ed bowed to him as well. Spike then started coughing again. Ed hurriedly went and got a glass of water from his bathroom. Spike drank it, making his sore throat feel better.
"Maybe Ed should do no more impersonations." Ed said.
"No, Ed, I just need a cigarette, that's all." Spike started to reach for them on the side table but Ed slapped his hand. "Hey!"
"Ed says cigarettes are bad! Spike-Spike should not smoke them! He should quit!" Ed commanded. Once again the incredulous look. Spike shrugged.
"Whatever." He said.
"Promise Ed that Spike-Spike will stop! Please!" ~Man, she's insistent. Just agree now and take a few when she's gone.~
"Alright, Ed." Ed nodded then went digging through the basket again. She stopped and looked up at him. "Now what?"
"Close eyes!" She said. Spike, not feeling like arguing closed his eyes. After a few minutes, she said, "Okay, guess who Ed is!"
Spike opened his eyes and did a double take. Ed was dressed in one of his suits. It was about twenty times too big for her. She had to hold the pants on. He just shook his head and smiled, waving her over.
"Spike-Spike like?" She said.
"Well, one more thing." He took a tie off his table and put it on for her. "There. Perfect!" Ein jumped on the bed and dropped something in Spike's lap. It was his camera. "Ein, this doesn't work."
"It work! Ed fixed it! Put film in too!" Spike started to ask where she got film, then decided against it. ~Knowing her, she probably made it.~ "Take picture!"
"Okay, hold on." He looked through the lens as Ed smiled and spread her arms, showing off her outfit. Click. "There, happy?"
"Yeah!" Ed said. "Ed tired of impersonations. Will Spike-Spike play game with Ed?"
"I don't know, Ed. I'm kinda tired. Let me take a nap then we'll play, okay?" Ed pouted but nodded and took off yet again. Spike pulled the covers up over his head and went to sleep.
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"Spike-Spike, wake up!" Ed said, jumping from the banister to the bed, making it bounce about four feet. Spike glanced at the clock. It had only been an half-hour.
"Ed, I meant a nap for a few hours." Ed pouted again. ~Ah man, not the pout....~ It got him every time and she knew it. Thank God Faye didn't. "Alright, let's play. But no chess!"
They ended up playing checkers. Chinese checkers, to be exact. They were using a hologram board, projected by Ed's laptop. It was hard for Ed to type in a move because she was still wearing Spike's suit and the sleeves kept sliding down past her hand. But they kept playing over and over, everything from checkers to poker, until late afternoon.
Soon Ed became sleepy, and curled up on the bottom corner of Spike's bed. Ein was asleep in the other corner. Spike shook his head and the irony of it, set Ed's laptop on the floor, and went to sleep himself.
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"I cannot believe you got us thrown in jail!" Faye yelled at Jet. Jet just rolled his eyes, knowing perfectly well it was her cheating that got them in. The cops had confiscated her dice and anklet, ticking her off even more.
As she ranted Jet looked around the ship for Spike. No sign of him. Or Ed. Or Ein. That worried him a little bit. In the kitchen he found an empty bowl and glass. Someone had eaten. But where were they? Faye kept ranting.
"Faye, will you shut up and help me find Spike?" He said. Faye gave him a deadly glare. No one, and she meant NO ONE told her to shut up. Jet sighed and took off down to their rooms.
He knocked lightly on Spike's door, but there was no answer. He opened it and was almost floored by what he saw. Ed was asleep on the bed, wearing one Spike's suits, her laptop, still on a poker game hologram, was on the floor, Ein was also sleeping on bed, and Spike was curled up sideways at the top of his bed. ~Okay, since when does Spike allow Ed and Ein near him let alone sleep on his bed?!~ "Faye! Get in here!"
Faye sulked in, glaring at him. He pointed to the bed. The glare turned to a look of disbelief. She then spotted something on Spike's side table. A camera. With a grin she tiptoed over, snatched it, and came back over. Jet bit his lip so he didn't laugh. Faye focused it and snapped a shot, which caused a chain reaction.
First the noise woke Ein up, which woke Ed up since she was using him as a pillow, and she woke Spike up by shouting, "Hey!"
"Ed, no more games. Go make some more soup." Spike said, not knowing Faye and Jet stood there, trying their hardest not to laugh. It didn't work. They began laughing, and Spike froze.
"Spike-Spike! Faye-Faye and Jet-Jet are back and they took a picture!" Spike groaned.
"Ed, I think I'm going to need more Tylenol."
A/N: Bad, huh? Yeah, I thought so. What the hell, right? Like I said before, flames are fine. Oh, and I know the cigarette thing is a little strange, but I just wrote this and didn't go back and edit it. That's why it just kinda rambles on.... and on.... and on....