Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter.

I can feel myself falling backwards. It's scary and thrilling and breathtaking. My eyelids are closing. All I can see is blackness.

Breathe.

In. Out. In. Out. It's okay- remember? Blackness is good.

I land in a puddle.

The water sloshes around a little and all I can do is float, feeling the ghost of a smile play across my lips.

In. Out. In. Out.

I can hear the raindrops heartbeats.

Time is still. I lift my fingers and brush them against the mud. Is it possible to paint a picture in the ground while laying in a puddle during a storm?

Maybe.

I'm a girl with many talents.

A twig snaps behind me.

I should do something, I know- whatever's behind me could be dangerous.

I should run, or yell, or pick up my wand.

I should do many things.

But I don't.

I'm sick of worrying. I don't move, I don't think. I'm barely remembering to breathe. I just- Am.

In. Out. In. Out.

"Lily?! Shit- LILY!"

My eyes flash open. I can feel arms encircling around me.

Glancing up at the man who's now holding me, I laugh.

He's tall and lean. Black hair plastered to his forehead, and a maturity in his eyes that I'd never seen before.

The man is shaking. Upon a slightly closer inspection I see his glasses are completely fogged up.

I can't tell if it's from the rain, his tears, or both.

"You. Gave. Me. A. Hell. Of. A. Scare."

I'm barely registering what he's saying. He looks mad though. Really, really mad.

Are we moving?

He looses his footing and stumbles a bit. Cursing- he slides his glasses into his pocket and continues walking.

I'm still in his arms.

"James?"

He glances down at me. Hazel and emerald eyes meet.

Nothing.

No love or adoration. Just Sadness, confusion, anger, and disappointment.

I hate him so much right now.

That liar! He swore he would always be there for me.

Promised he would always love me.

A burst of cold air slams into my body- and I can feel myself shiver.

The common room is colder than I remember it to be.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

He's exploding. I can see it in his face. He's mad and scared and he's finally burst.

I had been dreading this.

"James?"

"Don't you James me! What the fuck were you thinking? What possessed you to sneak out of the Head's dorms- and lay in a puddle outside? Motionless? In a thunderstorm? WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED?"

"I-"

"I thought you were dead! DEAD! Lily- do you know what that's like?"

"I-"

"NO! And you know why? Becau-"

"SHUT! UP!"

He glared at me- shocked, for a moment, before his face crumbled.

As if coming out of a trance he collapsed onto the chair next to me and looked up.

"Merlin, I'm so sorry Lily. I didn't mean to yell- I don't know what came over me! I just…"

He trailed off.

"James? I- I got an owl today. About my parents. Apparently V-Voldemort got bored and thought he might pay a little visit to my hometown to have a little fun with some muggles,"

I was whispering at this point,

"…They never stood a chance."

I sighed, and saw him walking over to the couch I was laying on.

It was like a dam had burst.

Tears gushed down my face and I sat holding on to him like a life raft.

Without warning I felt our lips connect.

It was fire.

My eyelids fluttered close- despite my best efforts to keep them open and my head was exploding.

Or maybe it was just my mouth.

The kiss ended just as abruptly as it started.

"I love you."

To be honest I wasn't really quite sure who had said it- and judging by the look in his eyes I could tell he was just as confused.

A blush was playing across his cheeks and I could practically feel his grin.

This isn't right.

I shouldn't be here.

I shouldn't be doing this.

I shouldn't-

"I love you."

There's no denying at this point that it was me who uttered the words this time. I didn't mean to- they had slipped out of my mouth.

I could only watch in shock as James repeated them back to me.

What would my parents say?

Live.

For gods sake Lillian- Live A Little

Maybe it was my teenage heart telling me to open up to James-

Perhaps it was a sign from my parents requesting I move on.

Then there's always that chance it was nothing. Just a fleeting thought that entered my brain at the right time.

It didn't matter. And it still doesn't.

Because I smiled and looked up at James again, then leaned in for another kiss.

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