Lovesick

For Heather, may she find her Severus. (Or Chichiri, or Richard ;)

Chapter 1- The Final Goodbye

Snape was furious, she had rejected him, Heather Summerfeld had rejected him! Why did this always happen? Why did every Gryffindor always reject him? First Lily Potter, well she had been Lily Evans back then, then Lucy Kirkpatrick-, even the sorting hat in first year had told him that he would be better off in and with Slytherins. Damn the cursed thing. Well maybe, he thought maybe it's me. Maybe I've worked so hard all these years trying to repel people with my fashion, my manner and the way I dress. Maybe I should be nice for once, God forbid. And then and there Severus S. Snape made a resolution to change.

When the students walked into the classroom, most of them screamed. Snape's dungeon had bee re-painted bright pink over the original black, and there was a vase of daisies on the desk. Professor Snape smiled painfully at them. 'Maybe this would get her to notice...' he thought to himself.

'Hello class!' he said greeting his first class of the last day of term, his seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins, gads how he detested them both! Well, hopefully he could fake it, this was the last class, thank god. He had better be able to do this well, this was important to him.

Ignoring the comments about cheering charms, and insanity potions slipped into the pumpkin juice, Snape taught the class the one thing he had promised them he would never do, brew a love potion. Afterwards of course he would have to get rid of it, all fifteen scalding cauldrons full, but for now it was worth it just to see her blush as the class made it.

She was the reason he hadn't applied for the Dark Arts job, knowing she deserved it more than he, and should get it when she graduated. Next year, he couldn't wait.

She was by far the brightest pupil he had ever had, but to let her know this would reveal his true feelings, and the entire part of him he had tried to pretend didn't exist for all these long years. It would betray him, his reputation, and his entire self, his very being.

At first he had mistaken it for appreciation of a bright young soul, then for infatuation, or lust, but now, after seven long years, he was sure it was love.

Snapping out of his trance, Professor Snape realized that his class time was up. Silently he waved the students out of class, feeling sick at the strange and disgusted looks as well as the mutterings of 'bright pink?' he received from them

'Who cares?' he thought to himself 'You've never cared what students thought of you before.'

'Yes, yes,' he said aloud, 'but this one's different, I love her.'

He wandered almost unconsciously to his storeroom, wondering what on earth he would do with fifteen cauldrons worth full of scalding love potions, Merlin only knew he couldn't just dump it down the drain even though that nitwit 'Professor' Lockhart must have showered in the stuff.

This was about when he noticed that she was still in the room.

'Yes, what do you want?' He asked. He realized that he had sounded irritated. Oops, great, now she looked as if she were going to cry.

'Professor Snape' she stammered. 'I enjoyed your class, I-I'm getting a job at the ministry, good luck with everything.'

Severus just stared at her.

'Goodbye' she nervously pecked him on the cheek and ran out of the room in tears.

Severus stood there a long time afterwards, his hand lightly touching the place where the woman he loved had just kissed him.

'Goodbye' he called after a while, but it was too late. In a sadder mood than he had been in for almost more than two decades, Severus began very softly, to cry.