Disclaimer: I don't own Gears of War. Just wrote this for laughs. If you played Gears of War 2, you'll find the humor in this.
Marcus Fenix sighed. Today he was at the unemployment office. Since the war was over, he needed to get a job. The woman, who was to give him that job, was currently zooming through his records. She finally spoke,"Mr. Fenix, you really have an interesting background. Let me list a few of the jobs you might want to consider. Lets see. Oh, here's one that seems easy enough. How about at the Waffle House? Their looking for a competant cook and server. Marcus sighed. He imagined this.
Marcus's job #1. The Waffle House Marcus was sitting by a toaster, waiting for the toast to pop up. Smoke came from it and finally the toast popped up burnt. He yelled,"Who wants toast?"
Marcus shook his head at the unemployment lady,"No thanks. Been there before." She nodded and went down the list,"How about the Worm Farm? All you have to do there is package and harvest worms." Marcus shivered as he thought.
Marcus's job #2. The Worm Farm Marcus lazily packaged the worms in front of him. He suddenly got ahold of a big one, and he had to pull hard. It came out, and to his suprise, it was as long as him. His eyes got big,"It's a giant worm!"
He looked at the woman,"Sorry, had a bad experience with a worm once." She groaned,"Well there is another job. How would you like to assist someone in deepsea fishing with tourist?" Marcus looked at her,"You freaking serious? I am never going into water ever again. Is that all you got?" She looked exasperated at her computer,"There is one job, but it's well beneath your standards." Marcus asked,"What?"
A week later.
Marcus happily began sawing away at a massive tree infront of him. As it bagan to fall, he yelled,"Timber!" He breathed in a great breath. This was something he could do.