You Are No Longer Alone
Disclaimer - I don't own the rights, Paramount / CBS does. I just like to play with the characters.
Plot - Tom receives a late night visitor, which changes everything.
Set at the beginning of the 3rd season, the day after the episode "Basics"
I've been a ST fan since the early '80's and loved all incarnations of it (well most of it anyway). While I believe, like most fans, that Janeway should have ended up with Chakotay, I've become rather fond of the Janeway / Paris pairing. And since I didn't want to split up Paris / Torres, I've had to set it before that relationship took hold.
Chapter 1
Tom Paris woke slowly, with a feeling of being wonderfully sated, and with a familiar but welcome ache in his loins. As he became fully conscious, he was aware of three things; first, he was half aroused, which wasn't unusual for him, for most mornings he woke in such a state. Secondly, was the knowledge of a warm, and a very enticing, female body lying next to him. Lastly, but most importantly, the woman who was lying next to him, was Kathryn Janeway, his captain.
He had often fanaticised about being in this exact position, with the woman who was his captain but he never once imagined it would come true. Well, that wasn't quite true, he mused to himself, as he carefully raised himself up on his elbow for a better view of her soft curves. Looking back at all that had happened over the last several years, he realised that everything had been leading to this very moment.
He had been attracted to Kathryn Janeway right from the time she came to recruit him for a mission, while he was imprisoned at the Federation Prison located on the southern shores of the Waitakere Ranges, some forty kilometres west of Auckland.
He always preferred older women; there was just something about them, which younger women did not have. Whether it was their sexually maturity that he found irresistible or whether it would something Sigmund Freud would say, that he had some dark fantasy about wanting his mother, he did not know. All that he knew was his preference for older women, and in particular, this woman, his captain, Kathryn Janeway.
Although his chance of actually getting her into his bed, or her bed for that matter, was slim at best, it hadn't stopped him from flirting with her. And to his surprise, she had responded with her own friendly, and at times, seemingly flirty banter, and along with all those little touches, kept him in fantasies for months.
However, things began to change from the moment he had been charged and convicted with the murder of Tolen Ren, a scientist on the planet Banea. Although Janeway had defended him with a fierceness of a mama bear protecting her baby cub, he knew that he had disappointed his captain, with his reckless and devil may care attitude, especially his behaviour with Ren's young and very bored wife. It was that incident more than anything else, which made him reflect on his life, and what he saw, he didn't like.
He had no direction in life; he had drifted from one bar to the next, one fight to the next and had joined the Maquis, not out of a sense of duty, but from boredom. It had been that casual and indifferent attitude, which caused the authorities to capture him on his very first mission. It was with that same indifference, he had accepted Captain Janeway's mission but only on the condition that once it was over, he would be free to go his own way.
And even as she agreed to his terms, he sensed something about her, apart from a very subtle, almost subliminal appreciation of his looks; which many women had given him, was that she seemed to have a strange belief in him, that he could be more than what he was, if given the chance. It wasn't something he had felt in a long time; at least, not since the accident at Caldik Prime.
So, after what happened with Ren, he made a conscious effort to change himself, to regain the captain's obvious faith in him. It wasn't easy and there were times where he fell back to his old ways, including the stupid fight with Neelix, over Kes, but eventually he found himself growing into the man he always wanted to be. Here, on Voyager, he felt accepted, as himself, for the first time in his life, and it was here, on this ship, where he wanted to be.
A soft murmur broke into his thoughts and he smiled softly, as Kathryn rolled over onto her other side, still fast asleep, giving him a rather intriguing view of several freckles near the base of her spine that he hadn't noticed before but it left him wanting to discover if she had any more. His cock twitched in anticipation of that delicious thought and he grinned to himself, "Soon enough for you." he murmured, "I hope." he added.
He had a feeling that when she woke up she would do one of three things; ignore what had just happened or she would acknowledge it once and then never discuss it again. Alternatively, she would accept it completely. He hoped it would be the latter, but realistically it would be one of the former, for she had done it twice before.
The first time was after he broke the transwarp threshold, where he kidnapped her before they evolved, or perhaps more appropriately, de-evolved, into some kind of amphibian salamanders. Whereby they followed their animal instincts and mated, which had resulted in three offspring. That life changing event had only been acknowledged once between them, while they recuperated in sickbay, and then never to be discussed again.
He wondered if she ever thought about their offspring, as he did on occasion. Had they survived or would other predators have killed them? Would they have been able to bring them back to Voyager and change them into humans? Could they even have coped with three children on the ship? Or had Chakotay and the Doctor, been right in leaving them behind on the planet? Even now, he did not know the answers.
Another soft murmur came and he knew Kathryn would soon wake. He leant over and planted a light, feathery kiss to her bare shoulder, revelling in the warmth of her soft skin under his lips, "You can't ignore this, Kathryn, like you did before." he murmured quietly, as he remembered the first time he had kissed her.
"...so, Laxeth advised us that his captain is willing to take you on board the Talaxian convoy group, as a pilot." Captain Janeway said, as she stood in her ready room.
Tom nodded, "When do I leave? And do they know the reason I'm leaving Voyager?" he asked, as he stood beside Lieutenant Tuvok.
"He is expecting you within the hour, Lieutenant," Janeway confirmed, "As to telling Laxeth about your mission, well," she glanced at Tuvok, "We thought it best not to. We do not want any reprisals to befall our Talaxians friends, if the Kazons were to discover that Laxeth, or his captain, knew about it."
"Indeed not, Captain. The Talaxians appear to be our only allies, since we arrived in the Delta Quadrant," Tuvok said, "It would not be in our best interests to destroy that tentative allegiance."
Janeway nodded, "And we need all the friends we can get," she said before she paused and regarded the young man in front of her, "Tom, you can still pull out of this mission. It's strictly voluntary."
Tom shook his head, "I appreciate that captain but I'm in this to the end." he replied.
"Good. Well gentlemen, we are coming to the most dangerous part of the mission but with any luck we should finally discover who, in our crew, has been giving the Kazons information. Good luck, Lieutenant Paris." Janeway said.
"Thank you, captain." Tom replied, as he and Tuvok came to attention before they turned and walked towards the door.
Tom allowed Tuvok to exit the ready room, before he turned back. He stood nervously, as the door closed behind him.
Janeway was about to move around her desk, when she felt a presence, "Lieutenant, is there anything else?"
Tom swallowed hard and nodded, as he stepped forward, "Well there is one thing, captain," he said, "We...I...well...it's that with there's no guarantee that this...mission will succeed and that I may not make it back to Voyager...and well..." he stopped. He didn't know what to say and he wished that he had left with Tuvok. It would have been better than this stammering.
Janeway wondered at the young man's nervousness, "We both know that and that was why it was strictly voluntary." she replied.
He nodded, "I know but in case I don't get back...I may never get another chance to do... Oh hell, I'll just do it." he said vaguely. He nervously wiped his clammy palms on his trousers, and before he could talk himself out of it, he crossed over to his startled captain, cupped her face with both his hands and he kissed her firmly but tenderly, on her lips.
"I've always wanted to do that." he whispered, as he pulled back. He turned, and without another word, he left the ready room, leaving behind a stunned Kathryn Janeway.
However, he had made it back alive, and when Captain Janeway made no mention of his kiss, even in jest, he had felt both disappointed and somewhat relieved. Relieved that she hadn't thrown the book at him for conduct unbecoming an officer, but disappointed because she had acted as though it hadn't happened. Nevertheless, it had happened and in fact, he wanted it to happen again; he had a taste of her, and now he longed for more.
It also didn't help that she had spent several months alone with Chakotay, on uninhabited planet, after they had contracted a disease during a routine survey. He had been glad that they had eventually found a cure, with the help of the Vidiians, and both the captain and first officer were able to return to the ship but he found himself growing jealous of their closeness and he frequently wondered if their relationship had remained platonic while on the planet. He watched them quietly, for any signs of anything more than just friendship between the Janeway and Chakotay but to his relief, he could not discover any indications that they are, or were, lovers.
And just why was it important to him? Because he, Thomas Eugene Paris, was in love with his captain.
It wasn't some silly infatuation, as he had with Kes or any of the women in the past; except perhaps for his first love, Susie Crabtree. What he felt for Kathryn was real, more real than anything else he had experienced. However, the most annoying thing about it was that he didn't know what to do about it, especially when she wasn't willing to even acknowledge his kiss, let alone discuss anything more serious.
So, while he pondered his situation, along came Seska and her Kazon lover, Culluh, who captured Voyage and marooned the entire crew, except for himself, Suder and the Doctor, on an inhospitable planet. It was his regaining control of Voyager from the Kazons, and his subsequent recovery of the crew from the planet, that lead to Kathryn being in his bed.
He sighed, as he planted another soft kiss to her warm skin, felt her stirring from her sleep. His cock twitched once more, in memory of the night before. He often fantasised about their first time having sex; would it be fast, slow or both.
In reality, it had turned into a hard and fast fuck. There was no other way to describe it, he mused to himself. She had arrived at his quarters, very late, wanting to thank him for getting Voyager back and then...well, he didn't know who made the first move, but suddenly they were in each other's arms, their hands tearing at their clothing, while their mouths locked together, their tongues duelling for domination.
They barely made it to his bed, where she pushed him down onto his back and straddled him before she took him into her, and after a moment to become accustom to his thickness, she began to ride him hard and fast. He let her take what she obviously needed; be it sexual, physical, or emotional release, or a combination of all three. Perhaps there was even some kind of weird punishment at work, as though she wanted to atone for allowing the Kazons to capture her ship and not being able to do anything about it. It was something he knew much about, using sex as a means to forget the bad hand that life had thrown at him.
Whatever the reason for her coming to him, he have never seen such an erotic, and highly arousing scene, as he watched Kathryn above him, with her long hair down, palming her full breast with her left hand and her fingers of her right hand stimulating her clitoris. And the throaty sounds she made, as she rode him, drove him all but insane, and when she reached orgasm, not only she came hard, she was also very vocal in her pleasure. It was all that he could do, not to come himself but instead, he flipped them over, and crazed with lust, he took her as she had taken him. Hard and fast.
It appeared she liked the rough treatment, for she urged him on harder and when she cried out for the second time, he could not hold back any longer. He groaned and arched his back, as his orgasm ripped through him and he came inside her, in waves of intense pleasure.
Afterwards, he had expected her to leave but instead she allowed him to hold her, and it was in this intimacy, where his heart completely melted as she showed him a vulnerability that he hadn't seen before; she needed the comfort of human touch.
"...puter, what time is it?" Kathryn murmured sleepily.
Tom smiled, "It's oh seven hundred, Kathryn," he replied, as he gently trailed his fingers along her side, "There's still an hour before we are on duty."
He felt her stiffen under in his touch, "Mister Paris."
"Yes, ma'am." he replied, somewhat amused by her reverting to titles but he had miscalculated her reaction to his flippant tone.
"This is no laughing matter, mister." she replied coldly, as she sat up, ignoring the aches in her body, "This should not have happened. It was a mistake." she added before she stood and began searching for her clothes.
"But it did happen," Tom said, as he sat up, "You can't ignore it."
"Maybe not but I can make sure it doesn't happen again." she replied, as she found her bra and underpants, along with several of her hairpins. She quickly pulled on her underwear before she moved into the living area.
He rose up from the bed, slipped on his robe and moved around the partition that separated the small bedroom from the rest of his quarters, "Kathryn -"
She sighed, as she pulled on her trousers and then her tank top, "Tom, don't turn this into something its not." she said, as she grabbed her jacket.
"Oh, and what would that be, exactly?" he asked sarcastically, as he leant against the door frame, his arms folded over his chest, "Was it just a quick fuck with Tom and then everything's back to normal?"
She glared at him, "That's enough, lieutenant." she replied coldly, as she pulled on her jacket.
"Aye, captain." he said, as he tried to rein in his hurt, his disappointment but failing to keep the scorn entirely from his voice.
She ignored the rebuke and walked out of his quarters without another word, pulling her hair back into her usual bun.
He let out a long sigh, as the door closed after her, "That certainly went well, didn't it, Tom old boy." he said before he slumped down onto his chair.