Note - text lifted from Texts From Last Night.

In This Economy

(585): in hindsight, drinking two bottles of wine probably wasn't going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview.

.: General Hospital :.

Johnny Zacchara was a total bastard.

Did that asshole honestly think that he could hit on her non-stop while getting her to help him plan his new clinic, get it off the ground with all her hard work, run cold on her, and then hold interviews for the supervising nurse? Seriously?!

Of course he thought that. He was just an asshole that way.

And that was why Nadine drank two bottles of wine, and then showed up for her interview. She'd show Johnny Zacchara exactly what she was qualified to do.

~*~*~*~*~*~

.: Nadine's Apartment :.

"Ughhhh," she groaned as Elizabeth gently applied a cold compress to her forehead. "He's going to have me arrested."

"He's not going to have you arrested," her friend scoffed, making her hold the compress in place. "Try not to move, okay? I'm going to get you a piece of toast or saltines or something."

"Why did I do that?" Nadine moaned, wishing that the floor would just open up and swallow her whole. "I showed up at the interview. Drunk. Drunk off my asssssss."

"Yeah, it was quite an original tactic," Elizabeth smirked, making her way back to her side. "I could tell that even the security guards thought so. You know, when they were dragging you out, kicking and screaming."

She laughed when Nadine covered her face with her hands, her compress discarded. "Oh, come on. Nadine, it's okay."

"It's not okay," she replied stubbornly. "I made an ass of myself."

"Yeah," Elizabeth allowed slowly, "but it's not like you'll be fired for it. Doctor Ford knows that Pediatrics can't run the way it does without you. The guards didn't file an official report of the incident, and Epiphany even lied for you and swore up and down that you just had a bad reaction when you mixed painkillers and liquid Tylenol. It'll be fine."

Her voice was muffled by her hands. "Johnny's going to have me arrested."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "He's not going to have you arrested."

"His sister's going to put two bullets between my eyes."

"Don't worry, she can't do that and get away with it. And you're not worth jail time to her, so I think you're safe."

"Elizabeth." Nadine yanked her hands off her face and glared at her. "I gave Johnny a wedgie. The last thing I am is safe."

~*~*~*~*~*~

.: General Hospital, Administrative Wing :.

"Okay, so why are you doing this again?"

"I told you," Johnny replied, filling in the last section of the required paperwork as Claudia paced behind his desk. She wanted to go to lunch and showed up early, and was now growing more and more impatient although it was her damn fault in the first place.

"Because Nadine is the most qualified person for the job. I always knew she was."

"If you always knew she was, why didn't you just hire her in the first place?"

"Because Ford told me I couldn't," he sighed gruffly. "He said I had to abide by regular hospital hiring procedure, even though it's written that I can make the final decision independent of any hiring committee. Administrative bullshit, basically."

"So…she's really going to run our clinic?"

Johnny nodded, still writing. "No better woman for the job. Or man. You know what I mean."

"Of course, it doesn't hurt that you've been wanting to jump her bones for months now."

"I'm not hiring her so I can sleep with her," he said, glaring up at her. "I have a little more class than that."

"Debatable," Claudia chirped. "But isn't it suspicious?"

"What do you mean?"

"She showed up at the interview completely trashed," she pointed out. "And you guys were yelling. Loudly. That's why security came running."

"It was a passionate exchange of ideas," he said simply. "I need that kind of enthusiasm in the person that's going to be in charge of this thing."

Claudia nibbled on her lower lip, trying not to smirk and failing miserably. "…And didn't she give you a wedgie?"

Johnny's expression turned dark and he scowled as he scrawled his signature on the line. "I don't want to talk about it."

~*~*~*~*~*~

.: Crimson Manor :.

"Sir." Reivers glided serenely into Johnny's private office as he always did. "You have a-"

"What the HELL is this about?!"

Nadine stormed in before Reivers could finish and stood irately in front of Johnny's desk, holding a neatly typed letter. Reivers, seeing that his services were no longer required, gracefully bowed out as any good butler would have.

And then, he pressed his ear to the door and listened, again, as any good butler would have.

"Nadine." He gulped and made a mental note to always keep the desk between them. "This is unexpected."

"And so is this!" she yelled, brandishing the letter. "Dear Miss Crowell, I would like to offer you the position that you applied for? Seriously? Who says that?"

"Uh…" He looked to his right and left, as if searching for words. "Someone who wants to hire someone else?"

"Why do you want to hire me?" Nadine asked suspiciously.

"Why not?"

"Because I showed up drunk at the interview, for starters. Because I yelled at you. Because I said you were one of those assholes that was just in it for the chase and as soon as the girl showed any interest, you were back on the prowl. Because I probably threw up in your potted plant in the middle of my long rant. And because I gave you a wedgie."

"Wedgie is such a complicated word, really, and doesn't adequately-"

"Johnny." She placed the letter on his desk and folded her arms over her chest. "Why did you hire me?"

"Because you're the most qualified person for the job," he told her honestly. "And because you want it more than anyone else does."

"I showed up drunk at the interview," Nadine insisted. "I made a mess of everything. That counts for something."

Johnny arched a brow at her. "It didn't go as badly as you think it did."

That stopped her in her tracks and for a moment, Nadine could just gape at him. "What? No, I – I remember. I was completely drunk. I said things. I did things. Of course it went badly."

He just shrugged. "Actually, you were pretty calm. You're surprisingly normal when you're blasted."

She was looking at him through narrowed eyes. "That can't be true."

Johnny shrugged again. "It is. You came in, obviously drunk, and just sat down and waited for me to start talking. I asked you if you wanted the job. You said you did. I asked you if you felt you could take on the responsibility. You said you could. I asked if you pictured yourself here in a year, in two years, in five years. You said yes."

"And then I threw up in your potted plant."

"And then I asked you if you knew why I was conducting interviews for the position," he told her seriously. "To which you replied that it was because I was a jackass, and you hoped my 'dangly bits' fell right off."

Nadine snapped her fingers. "There it is."

"And I told you it was bureaucratic, and that I had to," he said gently. "But that I always planned on giving you the job, and it was yours if you wanted it. You said you wanted my head on a pike."

"That does sound like me," she mused thoughtfully. "I say things like that."

"And then I said-"

"Let me guess," the nurse interrupted. "You said you wanted me to get out, and to stop throwing up in your plant."

"I said that was fine, and that I just wanted you," Johnny replied with a sheepish smile. "And then you got mad and said things."

"And then we started yelling and you called security," she guessed.

"And then I kissed you, and then you got madder, and then we started yelling and security heard us and came running," he said honestly. "On the way out, you threw a potted plant at my head."

"So that's why I remembered something about a potted plant," she exclaimed.

"Yup."

"But…" She frowned, still troubled by his retelling of the events. "When did the wedgie come in?"

A stoic mask fell into place and Johnny shook his head. "I don't want to discuss that."

Nadine shrugged. "Fair enough. I'll just ask Claudia."

Johnny rolled his eyes, and his gaze fell on the paper that sat in front of him. He pushed it back toward her. "I meant what I said, Nadine. The job is yours if you want it. I know my opinion on this doesn't matter, but I wouldn't want anyone running that place except you."

She looked down at the paper and then up at him. His brown eyes shone with sincerity, and she'd almost forgotten her anger and irritation when she stormed on in her. Hesitantly, she reached out and slid the paper closer to the edge of the desk, fiddling with the corner as a smirk made the corner of her mouth twitch.

"You know, maybe I should show up drunk to job interviews more often."

The End.