Aburame Shino was not one to show emotion often. In fact, he was not one to speak much at all, especially the days preceding the war. He was the rock, the pillar, the anchor. The one who never showed his weakness, his distaste, for the better of everyone involved. It was through this skewed sense of courtesy to his comrades that he had begun to neglect almost all social normalities. He would not attend Kiba's obnoxious parties, or "Dog Nights", as his rambunctious friend would call them. He would avoid his regular meetings with his former sensei, Yuhi Kurenai, for which they would inform the other of current happening between each other's lives. He would even decline Shikamaru's challenges to their monthly tradition of shogi (for which he was about to even the score to fifty wins and fifty losses).
Aburame Shino had never really made himself, or his feelings, apparent. Yet, there was always one person, one desolate soul, who he knew he could trust with all of his woes, his aspirations, and his affections. His guilt for having subconsciously choosing such an already burdened soul had bit into him deeply, yet he could not stray from her caring nature, her bright smile. Even his colonies, who usually had a hard time agreeing on anything, approved of her reassuring presence.
Aburame Shino, veteran and hero of the Fourth Shinobi World War, keeper of every species of Kikaichu, bearer of harmony and empathy, was lost. He had never once been so aimless and insecure in his life. Not even when he had been proven incapable in protecting his comrades in the early days of his former team's existence. For at least then, he had something to work towards, something to amend. Now, when all the dust had settled, and everything was right with the world, the man felt so, ironically, empty.
'Why, you ask?' Aburame Shino might've prompted himself, had he not been entranced in his melancholic revere. The answer, while impossibly wounding, was blindingly simple. He was lost, because he had lost his closest friend, he had lost his confidant and his joy. He had lost something, someone, too precious to ever replace. He had lost his imouto.
Aburame Shino had lost Hinata.
The thought of such a thing stung more than any Kamizuru bee ever could. Hyuuga Hinata had been his closest friend and most precious person during their time together as Team Eight. She was the one that kept Kiba and himself from each other's throats many times, mended his wounds when his kikai could not, and protected him with a fury of a tailed beast. Hinata was someone he wished to repay tenfold for her selfless acts, yet never had the opportunity to. And here he was, unwittingly adopting one of his past sensei's old habits by sitting across from the lavender monolith of Konoha's memorial stone, his tinted spectacles reflecting the soft light of the morning sunrise. His eternally obscured eyes repeating their tireless vigil over the twelve inch stretch of stone, engraved simply with 'Hyuuga Hinata'.
He had been like this for the past four hours, letting nothing leave his lips, letting not a single muscle slip. He had nothing to attend to this day. His clan was back on track with the Kikaichu culturing and breeding, his leave had two more days left, and his research had come to an abrupt dead end. So, he sat... And sat... Keeping a silent watch over her memory with a steady breath and a subdued mind.
It was only when his Bikōchū, Kikaichu specifically designed for tracking and chakra sensory, relayed information of another presence that Shino's thoughts began to drift from her. A moment later, his own keen sensory abilities felt the presence of a suppressed chakra. Being a sensory ninja meant that one would be able to notice the majority of individual chakra signatures and memorize one from another, from the slightest detail. The eighteen year old let an inaudible sigh escape his lips when he recognized the owner of said chakra a moment too late.
"I thought I'd find you here, Shino." A laid back voice said, confirming the insect user's earlier analysis. Giving no response, Shino merely sat in his meditative stance, exercising complete control over his body. He heard a soft sigh from behind him as his visitor slumped his shoulders a bit more than normal. Narrowing his eyes for a moment, Shino dropped his gaze from the engraving, yet not betraying a single emotion to his trespasser.
"I know you felt my chakra before I even arrived, Shino. You should've known I was coming to speak with you." The voice, while concerned, still held an air of tiredness. Giving another sigh, the man stood a respectful distance away from one of the shinobi he had watch grow before his eyes, and procured something from his pouch. It was mere child's play for Shino to recognize the sound of a book being opened, and it only seemed to fuel his growing sense of frustration. Silence fell between the two Konoha shinobi, and only the soft breeze of morning and the singing of birds made a sound.
A minute passed, then two, the ten. Before long, the man behind him snapped his book shut and placed it back into his pouch. "Still not talking, ne?" The voice questioned, with a levity that saw to irritate Shino only more, yet the young man locked that away quickly. Seeing how the man would not leave without at least some conversation, Shino relented.
"Hokage-sama..." His voice was deep, yet dull. Smooth, yet empty. The Aburame could not think well beyond that as he touched a spot of his coat, feeling the firm shape of his last possession of hers.
The cyclopian ninja looked on at the Aburame with a sense of knowing pity, and cold acceptance. He had known that history would repeat itself, and he had hoped against all hope that his mistakes would never manifest into one of his pupils. Yet, he had been well acquainted with fate's cruel pattern, and it was only a matter of time when another like himself would emerge from the 'Konoha Twelve'. He had initially expected Sasuke, having already foreseen the Uchiha's regret at the death of his elder brother. However, after his student's betrayal, his concerns had fallen on to his other students, Sakura and Naruto.
Those fears, thankfully, were dashed away when he witnessed his blond charge rise to the challenge time and time again, making leaps and bounds in his career as a ninja. And with his success, Sakura was soon to follow, both bathed in a light of hope and progress. Even throughout the trials of their time as Team Seven, Kakashi was beginning to build hope for the new generation like never before. Perhaps they wouldn't be cursed like his generation was, perhaps they would be the first generation to be free of such an oppressive anguish.
With only one casualty to the Konoha Twelve, and Sasuke's return to the Hidden Leaf (although he remained a wanderer of the nations), Kakashi was almost certain that his fears were unprecedented. He would be able to foster and protect such fulfilling lives as they lived and loved with each other. This gave Kakashi a certain sense of relief, knowing that his anguish would never be held again. And, for a while, he was right…
Until the day Hyuuga Hinata was declared Killed in Action on a mission to flush out a splinter faction of the Hidden Sound, buying time with reckless abandon to ensure the lives of her team. Such recklessness was quite predictable to Kakashi, who had always seen Hinata as someone to willingly put everyone else before herself, never asking or expecting anything in return. So when the lives of her old teammates and teacher were on the line, Hinata gladly chose to take multiple, fatal wounds meant for the other three shinobi with her.
With the most recent death of the 'Konoha Twelve' coming so soon, Kakashi's seemingly unreasonable fears came back in full force. He was worried his two former students would falter, yet what he was met with made his heart twist in disdain. Naruto barely had a chance to mourn the late Hyuuga heir, his attention swept to the almost... relieved... demeanor of Haruno Sakura. She had swiftly initiated intimacy between herself and the Uzumaki the day of Hinata's funeral. 'Perhaps it was to distract and comfort Naruto in a desperate time?' Kakashi would try to reason, but he knew that was not Sakura's entire intention. She not only wanted victory over her rival, she wanted complete domination over her competition. The gray haired Hokage tried his damnedest to believe in his own lies, but a shinobi of his caliber could never turn away from the known truth.
Shaking his head, Kakashi turned his attention back to the man in front of him, the object of his fears. It was obvious to him that Shino had taken Hinata's death the hardest of all. Not even Kurenai, the one who had practically adopted the young Hyuuga as her own, could match the Aburame's desolation. Perhaps it was because of her son, and the fact that she needed to be strong for him, but even Kurenai had learned to cope and... Move on. Everyone had, rather quickly, moved on from Hinata's death, even Kiba, her overtly protective teammate, had accepted her fate within a few months of mourning.
Everyone but Aburame Shino.
"You know" The Hokage started, adjusting his arms behind his official robes. "You remind me a lot of myself when I was younger. Sure there are some differences between you and my past self, but we share something very precious, and equally damning... Don't we, Shino-kun?" Kakashi said, raising his one revealed eyebrow.
A short gasp of shock escaped the usually reserved Aburame, and he felt as if a ghost had passed right through him. Before he could stop himself, Shino spoke. "Hokage-sama." He began, clenching his fists to the point of his nails drawing blood. "Your company is welcome, as is your council," He gave pause, expertly controlling his whirlwind of emotions. "But your overly familiar address is not. Please, refrain from using such language towards me in the future..." Shino trailed off, his eyes resting yet again on the elegant characters of his closest friend's memorial.
Such a blatant show of disrespect would normally elicit some ire from the cyclopian Kage, yet Kakashi had understood what he had done. "That is what she used to call you, wasn't it? She was the only one who ever addressed you so personally, I assume?" He questioned, drowning the guilt he felt in his heart with a sense of duty.
"Understand this, Hokage-sama," Shino began, clenching his jaw to fight his growing sense of irrational anger. "I understand and respect your duty as Hokage, so do not perceive my detriment incorrectly." Kakashi's single eye widened as his eyebrow rose high upon his forehead, watching as the darkly clothed Aburame rose from his position. "But it is not the place of a Kage to pry into the personal happenings and mannerisms of those they protect." Shino's voice held iron, never faltering in its bass. "Why am I stating such an obvious and miniscule fact to you? Because I am now in an understanding that you have forgotten the place of the Hokage."
Kakashi held his gaze to the expressionless lenses of the Aburame's glasses, watching as every physical inclination of the jonin had relayed only indifference, but it was his words that betrayed his disposition. Shifting his singular gaze to the rustling trees, the robed Hokage sighed tiredly, for the countless time. "Ma, ma Shino. I have never been so eloquently been told to shut up until this point." A small hint of a smile crinkled the corner of his ever obscuring mask, his attempt at humor barely registering in the Aburame's mind. Kakashi had finally realized why, and how, Hiruzen had been able to so who heartedly love and tolerate the village, and its particulars.
The thought of a small blur of rambunctious orange wreaking havoc on the citizens of Konoha made Kakashi sigh in nostalgia. He was well aware of the fact that the Third had suffered a great deal of backlash, and paperwork (for which the thought of made the Hatake grimace), for not strictly punishing the young Uzumaki in his days of grand pranking. But now, as Rokudaime Hokage, he understood, and even emulated the Sarutobi's demeanor.
Shoving those thoughts away, Kakashi brought his attention back to the still figure before him. Despite his overly elaborate dialect, and disrespectful (yet understandable) behavior, Aburame Shino was correct. It was not his job to pry into the personal feelings and miseries of his charges, not as the Hokage, at least. However, he was the Hokage first, and a sensei second. His duty to the village superseded any of his desire to pull his former student from his growing darkness, and he had not come to the Aburame to do so.
No, he was here on business.
Locking his eye with the lenses of the insect user, Kakashi produced a small, unassuming scroll from within his robes, presenting it to the towering figure in front of him. It was not customary for the Hokage to personally deliver his own mail, but such sensitive information, and such volatile situations, required a more direct administration. "Perhaps, then, you would be more pleased with me conducting my more direct duties…" Kakashi fell back in his lethargic drawl, feeling the previous hostility fade from the other nin.
"You have received… a summons. One I am sure you are familiar with." Kakashi paused a bit, remembering what his reports from Tsunade's reports. "You know the old saying, third times the charm!" His eye crinkled in a happy squint, his voice oddly jovial for the situation. Waving two fingers in a gesture of peace, the Hokage disappeared in a swirl of dancing leaves, leaving dark lenses to peer at the little scroll laying in the grass. Later, when the dark canvas of the summer's night stretched across the sky, a stark giant stood at the entrance of a dull, unassuming building. A single, fluttering streetlamp illuminating the lone figure, clad in hood and cloak, with a single, small scroll clutched in his clenched fist.
Shino's eyes narrowed behind his goggles. Even as he could barely make out his surroundings, he was guided by his keen hearing, and loyal kikachu. Once again, he found himself returning to a place he had vowed to never step foot in, merely a hesitant step away from breaking the door's threshold. Three times he had stood in this very spot, only twice before with a scroll exactly the same as the one he presently held. Three times, he had turned away from this wretched, shadowy doorway, once in loss, once in anger, and once in shame. Furrowing a thin brow, Aburame Shino, Champion of life and nature, made his choice.
He would not turn away a fourth time.
It would not be until another full two months until the giant Aburame stepped outside that wretched, plain door. Yet, he was not surprised to find that not a single thing had changed since his disappearance. 'Perhaps, with the exception of the abrasiveness of the sun's blazing light.' He thought, bitterly. Not a single one of his comrades had questioned about his whereabouts, when he was sure only to inform his father of his impending absence. Not a single one of his peers had seemed to notice his vacancy, not a single one cared.
'Hinata would have cared…'
The thought had him softly cringing in a swirl of negativity. However, he would not let that deter him. The weight of a single object within his inner jacket, and the slight sting on his left shoulder, reminded him of the changes to come. Changes that made friends a distraction, comrades, a nuisance. Blinking away his thoughts, Shino stalked the streets of Konoha. One last stroll, to remember his old life. To relive the countless days of being unnoticed, and looked upon with disgust. Then, he would begin a new chapter of his life.
A new life within the organization of the Konoha ANBU, Black ops division, Squad 8, identification number 585196.