Breathe, breathe, breathe. Sougo was embarrassed to admit that he still needed to remind himself to control his breathing, so that he had energy for his singing and dancing, while preventing the hardness of his breaths from escaping into the mic. The last thing he needed to do was embarrass himself in front of his family, friends, and fans. So breathe, he reminded himself.

Breathe.

The nerves were harder on him than ever. It didn't help that the venue was packed today, and the crowd goers were lost in a sea of multi-colored glow-sticks, that shone like a violet ocean out on the far horizons. The purple and magenta hues reflected in Sougo's eyes, and he suddenly remembered why there were so many purple glow sticks to begin with.

When the final chorus of their song ended, Sougo and the others held the end pose—with Riku in the very center as usual—and smiled as a deafening roar of applause and cheer awaited them. He felt his ears throb with the loudness of it all, but he didn't really mind it, for once. And then the lights changed from rave-like bobs and flashes to steady beams, but the crowd still remained uncontrollable as the fanfare echoed throughout the room, and overshadowed the heartfelt goodbyes that the members were giving as the last words of the night.

Sougo watched all the glow sticks wave frantically in the air, and he suddenly felt the space next to him change—a glance was all that was needed for him to know that their center and main vocal, Riku, had taken up the spot next to him. He was smiling kindly at the fans, seemingly bright and chipper despite the demanding performance they just put on. Sougo, oddly enough, found himself fixated on a drop of sweat that trailed from the side of Riku's head, all the way down Riku's face, then finally at his jawline where it petered out and fell off his skin like cloying mist finally breaking free.

He was too distracted by his boyfriend's beauty that he barely heard a word that the other said. Luckily, Riku repeated himself a second time.

"Sougo-san, how do you feel?"

"Happy," he admitted. He turned his gaze to the crowd, and tried to stifle the burning, mixed feelings of joy and shame all at once. "You finished the ending wonderfully, as always. Look, Riku-kun! They're cheering for you."

"No," Riku said, reaching out for Sougo's hand with his own. He held onto it tightly, promptly ignoring the sweat that gathered between their shared embrace. Sougo stared at him wondrously, to which Riku replied with all the cheer and care in the world. "No, Sougo-san. They're cheering for us."

The other members must have seen Riku hold onto Sougo, but they ignored the romantic context in place of a celebration of their group's performance on stage, and soon enough all of Idolish7 had their hands intertwined. At Yamato's signal, the seven of them threw their hands up into the air, and bowed for the audience like they were actors at a play. The reception was the same, and the crowd became even more wild after that—if such a thing was possible.

Nevertheless, Sougo's hand tightened around Riku's. He was trying to get better at the whole "loving yourself" deal, really. But he doubted that he could love himself as much as he loved Riku, or vice versa. Yet as long as Riku promised to be with him and reassure him, then Sougo had no complaints. It was easier said than done, but he supposed that one day in the future, he wouldn't be so embarrassed to see a purple sea of light before him, or to hear his countless fans sing him a happy birthday, either. One day, he would actually bask in this glory, and personally view himself on equal level with the other members of his group.

Until then, he would be fine as he was now—holding onto the warmth of the others, holding onto the love of Riku—for an indefinite amount of time.

He followed the other members offstage after everyone said their goodbyes to the audience. The sound cut out for good, the lights went back on, and Sougo felt more relieved with each step off the stage he took.

He never let go of Riku's hand, all the while.

"Happy birthday," Riku said to Sougo. They were back in the dorms now, quietly adjourned in Sougo's room as they found comfort in the dim, lavender shades of their surroundings. Hours passed since the show, and they were no longer as sweaty or nervous as they had been before or during the concert. A few showers went a long way, and Riku now smelled like cucumbers and the ocean—a scent that Sougo deeply inhaled as he held the other in his arms, face buried in a crown of soft, red hair.

"Thank you," Sougo muttered into him. Then he pulled back, and admired the way that Riku's eyes were like a calm fire glowing in the darkness of his room. "It's a good day because of you, Riku-kun. You make me so happy."

"I'm glad to hear that," Riku cheered. "Are you sure there isn't anything else you want to do for your birthday, though? We had a live show today, but we can always do something tomorrow! Or on the weekend or the next time we have a break…"

"That's not necessary," Sougo insisted. "I already received gifts from everyone, and the fans even sang a birthday song for me earlier! That's more than I could ever ask for." Seeing the frown on Riku's face made Sougo laugh in spite of him, and he reached out to ruffle his hair. "Please don't be mad. I'm pleased with just this, really."

"Well, I'm not." Riku huffed and crossed his arms. "I love you, so I want to do more things for you, especially on your birthday!" He looked elsewhere out of embarrassment and thoughtfulness, whether it was at the framed picture hanging on the opposite wall, or the gleam of the doorknob further away from them. When the thought returned to his mind, he glanced back at Sougo. "...Maybe I can still do something for you, after all."

"Riku-kun, what are you—"

"—Can I kiss you, Sougo-san?"

"Of course," he said much too quickly, and blushed at how eager he was to kiss his boyfriend. "I mean, yes, you can kiss me."

"Okay."

Riku leaned forward, eyes locked onto the other's with a bright, dreamy gleam in the crimson colors. Sougo loved his eyes and every other part of Riku, and he let it be known as he cupped Riku's face, glancing at the errant strands of red hair that brushed back almost timidly underneath his touch. Then he looked back at Riku, whose eyes had closed after finding a warm comfort in the tips of Sougo's fingers—those that ghosted over his skin like a cool breeze, ebbing and flowing but never staying long enough to give force.

That was fine, since he wasn't one to be overly forceful in the first place. And it would make it all the more sweeter when he did apply force, hopefully being able to hear Riku's cute little murmurs and moans in the process. Before that, though, Sougo could stay and admire Riku for days on end—and it was only then that he remembered he promised him a kiss, so he couldn't just stay still and starstruck forever.

Although Riku was the one to ask to kiss in the first place, Sougo was the one leading the action in its entirety. From cupping Riku's face, to caressing his wondrously soft skin, to reaching forward and placing his own lips on his—Sougo took the lead, relishing in the shy squeaks that escaped Riku's mouth in tiny breaths and disappeared into the hot air between them.

All his words faded away, and Sougo found himself guilty of stealing them in the first place. It was easy, though, because Riku was so unguarded that he nearly let the breath be stolen out from inside of him. Each kiss was another demand for air and love, demands that Sougo realized must be met. Maybe it was the celebratory (mandatory) birthday champagne he shared with Yamato and Mitsuki earlier, or the exciting thought of Riku's body so close to his, but Sougo became inspired, and upped the ante of their kiss with a smooth, new motion.

His tongue moved carefully, and prodded at Riku's budding lips in low, sweet movements, so as to ask for silent permission of entry. Riku hesitated for a moment, and fear flashed by in Sougo's mind (was that too much, oh my God, should I stop, I don't want him to be uncomfortable) but it was all for naught, as Riku parted his lips in silent admission of the act. And his breath halted—caught between his own teeth and Sougo's lips—completely, heart skipping one beat short of a full-on attack.

Those seconds were crucial in letting more air in, and Sougo counted those seconds—beats—in his head. On the seventh beat, he was sure that Riku was breathing properly and the pooling emotion in the other's red eyes was curiosity, not fear. So with everything accounted for, Sougo moved forward once more, and slipped his tongue through the opening between Riku's lips.

He roamed, roamed, and roamed the space there, completely enthralled in the warmth he found, completely enchanted by the map of Riku's mouth that was his to explore. One hand snaked around Riku's waist in a (successful) attempt to bring him closer, while the other hand cradled the back of Riku's head so as to support him (since he might give way any minute now). In the midst of it all, an unbidden moan traveled from the back of Riku's throat, and died as mournful whimpers when Sougo's tongue claimed it as his own.

More, more, more. Sougo wanted so much more. But before his wants, he had to think about his boyfriend, and whether or not Riku could handle anything further than this at all. His mind was mostly clouded over by the heat and passion of the moment, but a knowing chill ran up his spine, and—before he knew it—Sougo pulled away from the embrace entirely. A thin, minute trail of saliva was the shared evidence of love between them, and Riku wiped it away with hurried, sloppy movements.

"Was that alright?" Sougo asked breathlessly. He hoped he sounded more worried than he did lustful. "Was that too much? Did I hurt you at all…?"

"N-No," Riku answered meekly, trying not to seem so small and inexperienced when he was. He could barely get himself upright, and was grateful for the fact that Sougo was still holding him, otherwise he would have fallen down to his knees, for sure. "I mean 'no' as in, no, you didn't hurt me at all. I liked that," he admitted with a bright blush stretching across his face. "Oh, I probably sound really gross and perverted right now…"

"No, you sound just fine to me," Sougo insisted. "You're fine, Riku-kun. But I think we should leave it at this for tonight...we shouldn't get so carried away. I shouldn't get so carried away…"

"Right," Riku conceded, unable to find any strength in him to protest (or attest) the idea. He was still shaky from the kiss, and became even more grateful than before as Sougo lead him to his bed, where the two of them sat comfortably at each other's side. "You weren't getting carried away, though. At least, I don't think so?"

"I probably—" definitely— "was." Sougo chuckled softly as he placed his hands in his lap diligently, violet eyes staring holes into the floor. "I apologize for being so forward. I really love you, though, so maybe that's why—"

"—You don't have to explain yourself to me, Sougo-san. I understand," Riku said, cutting him off in the most polite way possible. "It's your birthday, after all~ Consider that my second gift to you, then." The first gift was an absolutely charming bracelet donned in silver and amethyst, which dangled off of Sougo's wrist as Riku spoke. "Although I still think we should've gone out to dinner or something. Or even the amusement park nearby!"

"Maybe on your birthday we can do that," Sougo suggested. "Since it's coming up soon. But not for mine."

"Okay, if you say so!"

"Ah, then you should probably go back to your room now, right? It's getting late."

"So, about that…" Riku trailed off as he kicked his feet back and forth, and listened to the sound of his socks shuffling against the hardwood floors. Only when Sougo playfully poked him in the side, did he remember to complete his words. "Can I sleep here with you tonight?"

"Of course you can," Sougo said. "It's not the biggest bed, but we can make it work. Come on." The two of them were dressed for bed hours ago, and they were so grateful because the softness of the sheets underneath the comforter made it all the more inviting to sleep. Riku took the side closest to the wall, while Sougo got comfortable on the outer side of the bed next to him. The rustling grew quiet after some time, and soon enough the two of them were facing each other, staring into each other's eyes.

Sougo could really, really get lost in there. More than Riku's kisses (which he was fearfully becoming addicted to with each minute that passed since their last kiss), he loved the reddening, introspective gleam that was found in his eyes. Like a deep sunset that pierced the sky a bloody color, or a sanguine rose that grew in a thorny bush, Riku's eyes were deep and wondrous, and it was no wonder that Sougo couldn't ever get enough of them. Even if they spent every night hereafter in the same fashion—talking, kissing, sleeping together—he didn't think he would ever be satisfied.

So in the meantime, he could get used to just quietly existing alongside the other, and sharing the limelight that naturally fell on him, too. He could join him in song and dance, team up with him in other idol activities, and share the stage where the two of them would show the whole world the collective fruits of everyone's labor. Where they could really show off the seven in Idolish7.

The more he stared, the more he thought, and the more he thought, the more he realized how tired he was.

In the midst of that exhaustion, the sounds of Riku's breathing reverberated with the recent memory of the crowd's fanfare from their earlier performance, both sounds echoing inside of Sougo's mind with a particular fondness. And he felt the cold fingers of sleep drag him down, slowly but methodically, until he was nearly unconscious. The last sliver of him that was awake, aware, and there had time to do a singular thing: place a kiss atop of Riku's head. He vaguely felt some warmth pool beneath where he kissed him, but it left altogether when Sougo pulled back, and giggled sleepily into the air between them.

Riku muttered some noncommittal sentence (either Happy birthday, Good night, or I love you) under his own broken breath, until he finally succumbed to sleep, himself. Sougo joined him soon enough, and the two of them were lost in a synchronized restfulness and peacefulness that bloomed between their sleeping bodies. There wasn't a single noise out of place in the entire dorm, as a matter of fact, and the world turned with gentle movements thereafter.

That night, Sougo dreamed of Riku's rose red eyes and the crowd's bright purple glow sticks.

He never slept as soundly as he did just then.