Hello! This is my first BTR fan fiction! I was watching an episode earlier and soon listened to this song, and there you have this story! Song is Topics by Nevertheless; listen to if it'll change your perspective.
Disclaimer: I don't own BTR but if I did I wouldn't let anyone else play with them. ;)
Prologue:
We avoid the topics we make the kids have secrets, and when they areexposed, and everyone knows. We say we never knew it that they had a problem, cause if we did, we surely would've solved it. But we can't it's too late…
Chapter one: Kendall.
A chirping of a bird, the ticking of a clock and the noise of students rummaging down the busy hallway all at one thing in common. They all annoyed the hell out of me. Each day at this hell hole was torture for me every day, but I had to go because I have nothing better to do then this shit. The warning bell rang off bleeding my ears off; I clutched it against my hands and ran them through my dirty blonde hair frantically. A familiar surge went through my veins and into my bloodstream; my palms began to furiously rain sweat. Fuck! It was happening again. This fucking withdraws. Then some freaky shit that you only see in movies happened, like everything around me stopped in slow motion and I was the only person moving regularly. Fuck, this shit was getting worse.
"Kendall? Kendall? Are you alright?" a chirpy voice broke me out of my withdraw spur, I looked up dazing at a small red haired girl with orange freckles, I knew her from some class but don't remember because I barely go to any of them. I think her name was Autumn? Audrey? Abby? "It's me Amber, from Homeroom." That's it, Amber. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." Without letting her respond I quickly walked off into the boy's bathroom. Skipping class was almost an everyday thing for me; I hated them, not the people in it just how it makes me feel. All the skipping and fucking up classes I been doing I hope I still pass them and not repeat them again in twelfth grade.
The school's been letting my skipping slide since I was Kendall Knight. The heir of the star of the Minnesota Wild Hockey team, Kevin Knight; married to big time Minnesota lawyer, Katherine Knight not to mention an over-achieving little sister, Katie. Yep, the perfect family. The perfect house, the perfect careers, the perfect looks, and the perfect son. Who isn't so, perfect as he makes them believe? They wouldn't be so perfect anymore if they found out their 'perfect son', was a pill-drug addicting. A white hot pain coursed through me, I knew it was time. Grabbing my backpack, I got out my one and only savior from this pain. The pills. I take them to make everything okay, but yet I still feel the emptiness in my heart. The pressure from everyone who expects me to be the Golden Boy, and from my dad who pushes me to follow his footsteps and take his place of the Minnesota Wild; I love hockey don't get me wrong. It's just the expectation he holds over me pushes me to the limit; this is my way to relive all that stress and pressure. My mom doesn't push me to become a lawyer or anything because she knows I'll most likely end of playing hockey the rest of my life; but she still is oblivious to see that I am dying inside. Work is her life. Sometimes I feel like they don't care about me or what I want, they just want what they want me to be. They're never home most of the time, dad's always playing games or doing interview press shit; the only time I see him is on T.V. That goes the same for mom, always on the road, sometimes she has to do out of state work; but when she is at home she rarely comes out of her office and always doing business on the phone. It's like I'm raising myself.
Lot of people envy my life, being the popular rich kid with famous parents, but they don't get what I'm going through. All the self-hating and pill-taking I do just to void the aching in my chest making its way to my lonely heart. Nobody gets me except my three best friends; James Diamond; Logan Mitchell, and Carlos Garcia. We knew each other since the fifth grade when we got paired as I group on the field trip. Ever since then we've been tight as glue, they knew about my problem at home but they didn't know about my problem here. I've been hiding this from them for a couple of weeks know, or maybe it was months? Hell, I didn't remember.
My hands began to tremble, my forehead poured out body fluids, and my mind was filled with a dazed-fuzzed numb feeling I was all too familiar with. Fuck yes! I loved the beginning feeling of the rush it gave me, but it always wore of minutes later leaving me with the same feeling at started with. I could never last a fucking day without this burning feeling gapping a hole in my chest, I gripped the bathroom sink tightly that my knuckles ached with pain, but I didn't give a shit. Lifting my head up to see the lifeless boy staring right at me, he seemed to yearn for something. To be saved. His once lively bright leaf green eyes know was dull and filled with pain. Tears threatened to leak from them but he tried his best to hold it in, even if he didn't want to.
"Kendall? Bro, you in here?" a voice that I knew said, it was soft yet husky at the same time. James. Shit! "There you are; why aren't you in class?" I quickly washed my face trying to hide the dazed look in it. "I-I needed to use the bathroom, duh, why aren't you?" I tried to cover up by joking with him. "Same here," he looked at me with curious in his light hazel eyes. He went to one of the stalls and began taking a piss, while I made sure the pills where stuffed secretly in my backpack. "So, still up for hitting the rink to practice before the movies?" he asked while washing his hands, we were all the hockey team here at St. Paul Minnesota High School. I was the captain and James was Co-captain, we always created and practice new plays with each other for the team. "Cool, because Logan and Carlos been going off about the new plays we made."
He joked and I slight tug at my lips twisted up, "Fuck, I'm shitting right now just thinking about using them against Winter High next week."
"No kidding, well we gotta go to class." We left the bathroom and headed to third period, somewhere I never wanted to go back to. "Well it's nice for you to finally join us, Mr. Schmidt." Everyone looked up at me when Ms. Bitternut chewed me out, naturally I shrugged my shoulders went to my usual spot next to my boys. What was this class anyway? I looked around the room noticing the posters on the walls, fuck it was Calculus! It wasn't like I was bad at it, actually whenever was in this class I always got A's because I do work at home. It came naturally to me it reminded me of making plays for hockey with all the equations and shapes. My friends never got how I could skip class but yet still make a 3.5 average.
"Keep this up Mr. Knight and you may not be able to play in next week's game that you're dying to play." Carlos mimicked the teacher behind me, he clicked on his lucky helmet, and I smirked. "Yeah- the-fuck-right, nothing will stop me from crushing the shit out of Winter High." We all snickered until I felt something nudged me. Looking up I say Ms. Bitternut glaring at us, well me in particular, she never liked me I don't know why. "Something funny Kendall,"
"Yeah, I was just saying I can't wait to crush the shit out of Winter High next week." Soon everyone around me burst out in giggles I smirked at no one in particular, Ms. Bitternut didn't find it amusing but she couldn't do anything since I was who I was. If she made me miss the game my father would just talk me right out of it and let me play. "Very funny, watch your language. I'm impressed by all the work you turned in last time, every problem seemed it was throughout worked on."
Of course, teachers scowl me on my behavior then worship me later on me perfect 100% grade in class. "What can I say I'm a hard worker, love to do work, just not in class," I folded my arms behind my head and relaxed in my seat. "Anyways, back on to Calculus…" She trailed on but I tuned her out leaving my mind a numb blank.
"Hey, Kendall." A soft girl voice said in front of me, it was Sandy; she was a cute girl with straight brown hair and thin eyebrows. She always went to our games, and she was in the Drama club and Music club.
"Yeah," I whispered back catching her hopeful dark brown eyes. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime."
"Like on a date?"
"It doesn't have to be, or if you want it to be-."
"-I'd love to but I can't gotta focus on hockey, maybe next time." I cut her off as she rambled off. "Sure, I totally understand, next time when you're free." Her usually perky voice was disappointed, her eyes trailed down to the floor. I didn't want to hurt her feelings but I didn't want to go out with her, not when I was like this, sure she's pretty and likeable, but I didn't know what held me back from saying yes. But she was type of girl I'd go for if I didn't have this problem; she didn't need some fuck up like me. I felt someone shove my back a little.
"What?"
"What was that about?" Logan asked nodding toward Jo who was glumly drawing lines on her notebook. I looked between her and him, I really wanted to say to yes to her and it killed me, I knew she had a crush on me for years now; I kinda liked her that way too, the old me would take her out in a heartbeat. But the old I died a long time ago. Looking back at the guys I mouthed," Tell you later."
So, how do you like it? Good or bad? Should I continue; well review and let me know.