Author's Note: Hey. So, I wrote this one-shot about Colony!America and England. In my mind, America is probably physically/mentally like four or five years old. I like writing kids. They're cute. And in my mind, Alfred is one of those little kids who does the most illogical things for illogical reasons that are perfectly logical to literally no one but him.
DISCLAIMER: Hetalia doesn't belong to me.
England heard the pitter patter of little feet running towards the parlor and chuckled to himself.
"America, what are you up to?" He called, but received no answer. That child is doing something he shouldn't be, he thought to himself. Just as he was beginning to look around, he heard a tiny voice come from the top of his arm chair.
"England, what are you reading?" England jumped, completely startled, and looked behind him. There was his little colony, sitting atop his armchair wearing his nightclothes.
"America! It is nearly lunchtime! What on earth are you still doing in your pajamas?!"
"England." America gave Arthur his best grown up look, "I asked you first."
England rolled his eyes at this, then picked up the younger nation and put him on the floor where he belonged.
"I'm reading a book of fairy tales, now will you please tell me why on earth you are still wearing your pajamas?"
"I don't wanna wear pants today, silly."
"Why ever not?"
"Because it makes my no-noes itchy and you said I can't scratch there because its not polite to people."
England had to look away to stifle his laughter. He couldn't have gotten a normal colony who would've refused pants because he was rebellious. No, he had to get the one who refused pants because they made his penis itch. His silent laughter subsided, and he knelt down to face the child.
"Well, alright then, Alfred. I suppose you're right. Woolen trousers can be itchy. But it's December, and you need to keep warm down there so you no-no wont freeze and fall off."
America's sky blue eyes widened, and began to water.
"B-but England!" He started to wail as he ran to the older nation. England opened his arms to hold the now crying child. What the bloody hell have I done?
"It'll be okay, America. You don't have to wear pants every day to be safe. You'll be fine! I promise."
Alfred looked up at him with wet eyes and a quivering lip. "Y-you promise?"
"Yes, I promise. And if you like, I'll find you some cotton underclothes to wear so you won't get so itchy."
America brightened a bit at that, and hugged the older nation as well as his tiny arms would allow.
"Thank you England!"
"You are most welcome, dear. Now, how about I read you a story before we go and have lunch?"
The little colony smiled and nodded, "Yes! I want the one about the knight and his princess!"
England proceeded to seat the two of them comfortably together in his reading chair, and re-read their favorite story. "...And they all lived-" Alfred turned to face England, shouting, "HAPPY EVER AFTERS! The end! That's my favoritest, England!"
"I'm well aware, love. However, do you remember the conversation we had about your inside voice?"
The child looked puzzled for a moment, before whispering, "when we're inside, I gots to be quiets."
"Yes, very good, America."
"I'm sorry England. I got so exciteded though. The knight is so brave! He's a hero! I wanna be a hero like him when I get big. Oh! England! I had a idea! Can I say it?"
"Yes, Alfred, I'd love to hear your idea."
"It's that, when I get big I can be a hero, and save you, and then we'll get married and you can be the princess and I can be the knight!" England was surprised. He couldn't say anything to that, could he? The child would probably realize why what he had said could never happen soon enough, he wasn't going to risk another episode today. So instead of explaining the problems with America's theory, he said, "Why Alfred, that would be lovely."
His colony beamed from ear to ear, extremely pleased that his big brother thought he was so smart. "Good! I love you England!" America wrapped his chubby little arms around Arthur and squeezed as tightly as he could. Arthur hugged him back, and put down the storybook.
"I'm getting a bit hungry, love. Do you think we ought to be getting lunch now?"
"Yes, England!" America jumped off his lap immediately, and grabbed his hand to pull him to the kitchen. Just a normal day in the life, I suppose...