Edit: TheDarkestZero pointed out that I was wrote Luxord's name as "Luxford". Whoops!
Edit 2: Once again, I have misspelled/mispronounced a Org. member's name. "Siax" has been corrected as "Saix". And once again, thanks to TheDarkestZero for notifying me.
Axel stared deeply into Roxes' eyes. "Oh, Roxas," he said softly, "ever since Sora and Riku announced their partnership, I've had this unbearable desire to start a small family, even if everyone despises us for it!"
"Oh, Axel," the blonde replied dreamily. "I feel the same way! Make haste, we must commence with the breeding! There is but one small detail I would like to bring up."
"And what would that be?"
"May Xion join us in our...joining?"
"Xion is but a fledgling, while we are majestic eagles in the craft of breeding! Besides, we do not have nearly enough room for all of our...supplies."
"Ah, but experience can be gained. And she assures me that she is quite content to simply watch most of the time."
"In that case, I see no harm in her involvement."
"Then it is settled! Prepare yours, and I will prepare mine!"
"Aye! Mark this day as the first meeting of our C—"
"What the heck is going on here?!" Saix yelled, bursting into the room. "You two have been in here for—AHHHHHHH"
"Saix! I beg of you!" Axel cried. "It was all my idea! Please spare Roxas!"
"Nay! It was mine own plan!" Roxas argued. "Punish me instead!"
"I can't believe the two of you...would do something like this!" Siax screamed. "You know how forbidden this is!"
"That's what makes it so thrilling," Roxas peeped.
"I must report this to the Superior!" Saix exclaimed. "Unless...you were to allow me to join you."
Axel gasped. "You mean...you too are—"
"Yes!" Siax admitted, brandishing his chicken. "I too...am a Chocobo farmer!"
The other two men sighed in relief, grateful to have found another one of their own kind. After Sora and Riku had founded a small Chocobo farm in between sessions of thwarting Organization XIII's plans, Axel and Roxas had been inspired to catch and breed the birds.
"We must be careful to keep the noise down," Saix continued. "These creatures, as adorable as they are, make such a mess. And the others would love to have Chocobo for dinner."
"Those monsters," Axel replied, shaking his head.
Xion stared blankly at the terminal monitor. She felt her cheeks turn red as a feeling of slight disappointment settled in.
"Hey, Xion. Watchya looking at?"
The girl squealed in fear before quickly shutting off the screen. "N-nothing!" she insisted, spinning around to face Demyx, who was standing behind her with a clear smirk on his face.
"Oh please," he laughed. "I know exactly what you were looking for."
"Y-you do?" Xion asked in a timid voice. She prayed (to whom, she wasn't sure) that Demyx would be merciful enough to keep her secret. If news of her pastime got to Xemnas, she might be turned into a Dusk!
"Of course," Demyx replied enthusiastically. "Everyone knows. It's incredibly obvious to everyone."
Xion sunk into her chair. Her life, or whatever was a good word for her sham of an existence, was over. She wondered why she hadn't been punished yet, if everyone already knew what she had been doing. Maybe Xemnas thought it was better to have her suffer a bit first.
"Actually, I've been looking for it too," Demyx went on.
At this, Xion looked up. "Y-You have?" she stammered, very surprised. She hadn't really pinned Demyx for...that kind of person. Though it would explain his frequent disappearances.
Demyx nodded. "Everyone has. Even Xemnas." Xion was getting more confused by the second. Was the entirety of Organization XIII a bunch of... Demyx leaned close, and spoke in a low whisper, "But if you think you're going to snag a copy of Mooglemon Alpha Sapphire before me, well, then you've got another thing coming."
Xion blinked in response. She had absolutely no idea what the sitarist was talking about. But she definitely wasn't going to let him know that. "Uh, yup!" she said, standing up as she did. "Ha-ha, you got me. Can't pull one over you, Demy! I, uh, I gotta go now!" The girl quickly sped off, causing Demyx to laugh at her apparent sense of gamer inferiority.
One Xion had gotten a comfortable distance away from Demyx, she paused to stretch. She then noticed that she wasn't alone. Lexaeus was tilting a lounge couch to give Zexion the opportunity to look under it. It seemed that they had been searching the room for something, as there were scattered sofa cushions and flipped tables everywhere. Marluxia, who had apparently just finished cleaning, sat on the ground with his face buried in his hands.
"Hey guys," Xion greeted carefully. Lexaeus replied with a grunt, Marluxia let out a strangled sob, and Zexion didn't say anything at all. "What, uh, what are you guys looking for?" the replica asked.
"The plot," Zexion and Lexaeus said at the same time.
"...Ohhhhkaaay," Xion said slowly. "...Well, good luck with that," she added, turning on her heels. Sometimes, it seemed that the other Nobodies had gone completely mad.
"If you see it, let us know!" Zexion called as the girl left. Xion didn't bother answering.
Xion found Axel and Roxas, along with Xaldin, Luxord, and Larxene, in the TV room. There was a televised Olympus tournament being broadcasted that day, and some of the Organization members were looking forward to the matches. Luxord was taking bets, Larxene let out a laugh as a preliminary contestant was impaled with a javelin, and Axel and Roxas were locked in an intense competition of who could catch more thrown popcorn in his mouth. Xion plopped herself down on a chair next to her friends. "The game is about to begin. No more bets," Luxford announced in his thick accent.
"Alright!" Axel cheered, speaking through a mouthful of popcorn. "Hope we get one hell of a show!"
The others erupted into shouts of shock and exclamations at Axel's words. "What?" he asked.
"Watch your language, you fool!" Xaldin snarled.
"Yeah," Larxene (surprisingly) agreed. "Swearing isn't cool."
"There are children present," Luxord said with obvious disdain. The "children" in question were both thoroughly confused.
"Wait, wait, wait," Axel replied. "Just last week, you guys led a giant Heartless to a heavily populated city so that Sora and Co. could kill it and send its heart to Kingdom Hearts, correct?"
"That is correct," Xaldin confirmed.
"About a dozen innocents were killed, and several homes destroyed, right?" Axel continued.
"That is also correct," Luxord said, nodding slowly.
"And you saw that all as completely fine?" Axel asked.
"Duh," Larxene muttered, rolling her eyes.
"But when I say a low-level swear word like 'he—'"
"H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICK!" Larxene yelled, glaring at Axel.
"-that, suddenly I'm the Hitler of Hitlers?" the red-haired man finished.
There was long pause as the three older Nobodies looked at each other. "You're despicable," Luxord said finally, as Xaldin and Larxene nodded in agreement. Just then, the tournament announcer reported that another constant had died, leaving behind a lame pregnant wife and four young children. The three Nobodies burst into laughter. Axel groaned in exasperation and slumped into his chair.
"Do you have any idea what's going on?" Xion asked Roxas.
"Not a clue," the blonde replied before literally dumping his head into the bowl of popcorn.
"Why did Vexen want to see us?" Xion murmured tiredly. It was late, around the time when she would be sleeping, but for some reason the scientist had summoned Roxas and her.
"He probably wants to record our sleeping habits or something," Roxas yawned.
"Ah! Children! There you are!" Vexen called, walking up to the pair. "Tonight, the two of you are the lucky ones to participate in an experiment."
Roxas and Xion groaned. "Please tell us you're not going to make us do something completely insane again," Roxas begged.
"Whatever do you mean, my dear boy?" the man inquired.
"Vex, last time I was 'lucky' enough to be in one of your psycho experiments, I spent three hours getting the gasoline out of my hair," Xion said, shuddering at the memory.
"Ah, but overall, the experience built your character, did it not?" Vexen replied, quite pleased.
"I still have flashbacks whenever I see Luxford playing poker," Roxas moaned.
"The point is," Vexen announced loudly, "that my experiments will help you one day. You should be thanking me. Besides, tonight's experiment is much simpler than the ones that the two of you have previously undertaken. Tonight...I am going to read the two of you a 'bedtime story'."
The keyblade wielders looked at each other. They had both heard of bedtime stories, but they had never actually been read one. Not in their present lives, at least. "Um, Vex?" Roxas questioned. "Aren't we a bit...old for a bedtime story?"
"True, true," Vexen agreed, his cold blue eyes scanning the room. "But, being by far the youngest members of the Organization, the two of you are the most impressionable. And I do need Organization members for this experiment. Come along, now. We'll go to Roxas' room."
All Organization members, save perhaps for Xemnas, had identical rooms, so Xion wasn't too surprised when Roxas' quarters looked exactly like hers. The room had been meticulously cleaned by some of the low-level Nobodies. Not that there was much to clean; Demyx was the only one who spent any time in his room. "Make yourselves comfortable," Vexen said, sitting down on the only chair in the room.
Roxas and Xion sat on the bed and covered themselves with the blankets, surprising Vexen. "Er, the two of you are comfortable...together? Like that?"
Xion tilted her head, confused. "Why wouldn't we be?" she asked. The girl felt like she should feel uncomfortable, but she didn't know why. The word "lemon" came to mind, however.
Vexen pursed his lips. "No reason," he said after a few seconds. "Feed the shippers, why don't you?" he added under his breath. Then looking over a small stack of papers, he asked, "I have a few stories that I deemed appropriate. However, we will only read one per night for a period of time. Let's start with...this one." Vexen cleared his throat as the two younger Nobodies leaned in. The scientist began to read:
"'Two cups of sugar, one stick of butter, preheat oven at'—oh, I'm terribly sorry. This is a recipe for brownies. How did this get in here?" Vexen went to the next manuscript in the stack. "This is a story I borrowed from Larxene," he announced. "'About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him-and I didn't know how potent that part might be-that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.'" Vexen suddenly froze and flipped the page, reading on. "This should never see the light of day," he hissed, tearing up the paper. "Even if Larxene kills me, I will die knowing that I have done a great duty to the universe." Seeing that Roxas and Xion were already starting to fall asleep, Vexen quickly read from the next paper. "'I think Xion might be mad at me, but I don't know why. Axel says girls are complicated. You can't press the wrong buttons. Like I'm supposed to know what the right ones are.'"
"That's my journal!" Roxas suddenly exclaimed, as Xion glared darkly at him.
"Oops, apologies," the scientist said quickly. He paused for a moment. "I shall return in a short while." Vexen then left the room with the stack of paper.
Roxas didn't dare look at the girl next to him. All he could do was pray that Vexen would come back quickly."You just pressed the wrong button," Xion growled.
"Ah, here we are," Vexen said happily, returning with a large book titled The Nobody's Guide to the Birds and the Beeds: Japanese Edition. "I figured that I would educate the two of you tonight on something you apparently haven't realized. I didn't want to have to do this, but someone simply must teach you about the facts of life!"
Xion stopped glaring at Roxas long enough to nod in response. The pair silently listened as Vexen read from the book.
Axel was just about to retire for the night. He had checked Xion's room to wish a good night to the girl, but she wasn't there. The redhead then figured that it was possible that she was in Roxas' room. Ah, the two children were so innocent. Perhaps it was best that way.
Then Axel heard screaming. Seconds later, he saw Roxas being chased out of his own room by a heavily blushing Xion. "Get away from me, you...you...Vexen, what was the term again?"
"'Pervert'."
"Get away from me, you pervert!"
"I didn't even do anything!" Roxas sobbed, narrowly dodging a thrown pillow.
Axel considered asking about what the he...ck was going on, but...no. He simply turned on his heels and left. He was sure that he would have to answer a lot of awkward questions from Roxas and Xion in the morning. "Thanks a lot, Vex," he muttered angrily.
I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I was just bored.
By the way, this is probably the closest I'll ever get to writing yaoi. So enjoy it, I guess.
Leave a review if you have the time!