Never mind, I'll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you.
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead"
(Someone like you, Adele)
He didn't know when it had happened exactly although he knew it had been sudden.
It had struck him like a bright bolt of lightning; sending a sharp, agonising pain searing through his body as he realised that every treasured moment with her had surmounted to this.
To nothing.
Not for him at least.
The years of effortlessly coasting through life, ever the eternal bachelor; humorous but caring, brave but sensitive, comfortable but alone, had led him to this.
The sudden realisation had come too late.
No. That was denial talking.
The realisation hadn't been sudden at all. For years, a sincere and heartfelt emotion had remained veiled by the sharp, witty exterior Harry was best known for. An emotion that had stirred on many occasions, waiting, pleading to break free, but something had always prevented it from doing so.
Harry feared it was stubbornness, rather than the endless string of fateful events that seemed to plot against him, which had forbidden the outbreak of his true self. Forbidden the outbreak of his love.
For he now realised that love was what he felt.
It was a love like none he'd experienced before. Not the kind that sweeps you off your feet and is forever being drained of all sincerity by romantic novels and films. Not the kind that is new, exciting and vaguely resembles lust. Not even the kind that allows for a comfortable relaxation into an acceptable future. This was different.
All Harry knew was that it was love.
He was in love.
In love with his best friend.
The initial relief that Harry had felt from admitting it to himself, admitting everything, all the turmoil of his mind, disappeared with the last remains of the scotch in his glass.
He was in love with his best friend. True.
He had loved her for as long as he could remember now. True.
Then the heart-wrenching reality hit.
She was in love with another man.
In his mind he paused for a moment. He gave in.
True.
After pouring himself a second glass, Harry absorbed the silence of his empty flat before continuing on his mental journey.
You were too scared to ever admit to yourself that you felt the way you did. True.
You were too scared to admit to her how you felt. True.
What were you scared of?
You once believed she could love you in return. True.
That belief had slowly faded. True.
There is no belief left in your heart now.
Another pause.
There should be no doubt in your mind that your love is unrequited.
For tomorrow, is her wedding day.