Growing Like A Rose
Haruka pretended to follow "Long Way Round" and how Obi-Wan Kenobi dragged his BMW motorbike through the mud in Russia, but secretly she watched the content of her cup of Häagen Dazs Cream Crisp Double Chocolate melt. It was a sunny day, this February 14th, and so it didn't take long for the ice cream to become one puddle of deliciousness. Finally, Haruka reached for the cup and gulped it down with delight.
Michiru was in the garden, taking care of planting bare-rooted roses, and Haruka hoped she'd reveal her plans for Valentine's Day once she returned. It was usually Haruka's mission to make this day big, explode in rosepetals and glitter. But this year, Haruka had agreed to not take Michiru on a cruise or horseback-riding western-style – instead, Michiru would come up with a thing and Haruka hoped this thing included helicopters.
Valentine's Day was one of those high holidays to Haruka, like Christmas or Easter or Saint Patrick's Day or Halloween or the Fourth of July or, after meeting Michiru, her birthday or the day she chose for her name day. As she licked her lips, she was sure she deserved her favourite beverage due to this occasion. Then she thought that she also deserved a Snickers, if she made three push-ups right after, but a knock at the door startled her.
Haruka raised her eyebrow. They weren't expecting any guests and Setsuna and Hotaru were on a hike. Unless, of course, Michiru's Valentine's Day plan involved a stripper, but there were few things that made Haruka as uncomfortable as having a stripper on her lap, so Michiru would never do this to her.
Haruka got up from the sofa, pausing the DVD, and made her way to the door. She was surprised to be faced with Mako. A puffy-eyed Mako with a large bag standing next to her.
"Haruka … I'm so sorry … but … but I-I can't go to Rei, she's merciless, and Mina … is Mina … and Usagi … it's her day, it's Valentine's … argh, I shouldn't disturb you either, I'm so sorry, it was stupid to think … I-I think I'll leave again …" Mako was shaking and stammering with a desperate voice and on the edge of tears.
Haruka furrowed her brows now: "Mako, what's wrong?"
"Ami … I … we broke up", Mako started to sob and suddenly Haruka felt the fine line between the Inners and Outers, the invisible line that divided the teams, and also remembered Mako's little crush on her far too well. It held her back, as much as she wanted to reach out. It took another moment to overcome it all, overcome the fact that Mako was so tall and grown now, what else had happened in the past, until Haruka pulled Mako close, hugged her as good as she could. Mako still insisted on leaving, while Haruka assured her that she wasn't busy … yet. Finally, she managed to hush her, trying to comfort her further, but Mako just inconsolably cried into her shirt. The blonde pushed the bag carefully inside with her foot, closing the door behind Mako and leading her to the sofa: "Do you want tea?"
"I never get to drink tea with Ami", Mako started some painfully open mouth crying and Haruka decided it was best to hold the brunette again. She awkwardly kissed Mako's temple, which got fortunately ignored by Mako, who too busy with her hysterical emotional outburst. Mako, so open and vulnerable, was so unexpected and as Haruka rocked Mako, she wondered how a love that would be so quiet could go out with such a bang.
"What happened?"
"I … I have a table for this very fancy restaurant tonight and I even bought a new dress and she's … she's so tired all the time, because she works so much these days, but then the hospital called if she could take an extra shift and she agreed in a heartbeat! I mean, I don't even care that it's Valentine's Day, hell, I just want to go out with my girlfriend like everybody does and so I said … I said she didn't care about me at all and she …"
Mako bit her lips, trying to control herself, maybe even to sit on her own, but she was powerless and needed to lean on someone: "She was so cold. She bottles up all the time anyway. And I … I felt so selfish. I'm not worth being with her when all I do is to keep her from doing good things – and accuse her at that! It's not like I don't understand what it means to become a doctor. But Ami's constant studying and being at the hospital won't stop once she has her degree, I mean, she'll head to be Chief, she'll head to … own her own hospital. She'll fucking cure cancer as well. Because she's so darn great." Mako sniffed. "I know that. But at the same time I'm here. I'm at the bakery and I … I know that it's my business and that's huge and I know I could expand but in the end, I don't save lives."
"Your cakes do save lives, Mako", Haruka said tenderly.
And while Mako managed to smile, the tears still came running down her cheeks: "I just feel so stupid compared to her."
Haruka sighed: "You tell me. I could own fifty garages and my wife would still be world famous. But I wouldn't want it any other way. When she's up on a stage, I'm truly happy."
Mako snorted: "Ami even reads in her spare time. And every time I ask her to read to me, at least, even if I'm about to fall asleep, she declines … and I just roll over … and then can't find any sleep at all."
"Michiru won't tell me either what she writes when I'm sleeping", Haruka shrugged, "But she'll always make sure to read me something I can enjoy. One time, she read an article about electro mobility to me. It was the most beautiful thing. You just need to find compromises, I guess."
It was hard to stay focused, Haruka realized, as she was flooded with the feeling she always had once she could rest at Michiru's breasts or her lap or how it felt to be enveloped by her. And a soft blanket. And cookies. Still she heard Mako mumble: "Our whole life consists of compromises … our schedules just clash way too much and I …"
"Mako, it's hard. Seriously, you're talking to me, I understand it fully", Haruka's memory was vivid when it came to the pains of saying goodbye to the touring artist that was her wife, "But do you love her?"
"I love her a lot", and with that Mako collapsed again, weeping uncontrollably.
This moment, Michiru entered the spacious living room through the door that led to the garden, her dress already dusted off, her gardening gloves put away for later. She left her shoes behind and felt gleefully in anticipation.
Then her first glance fell on the empty container of ice cream and it was hard to manage keeping up a flawless facial expression. And then she saw a crying Mako in her wife's arms and her face cracked. What had happened? Her initial reaction was to call Ami to make sure the younger woman was all right, but at the same time she knew better. This situation – quite obviously an amateur-y break-up - needed to be handled with much care, especially if she wanted to make any progress on her Valentine's plan soon. It was important to fix Mako and Ami - not only because they were Senshi. She clearly remembered the extremely short period of time she and Haruka had agreed on a relationship break. Never had she seen Haruka that comfortable walking around in her little fuku. It had hurt her so incredibly. But duty aside – she needed to think her reaction through because they were extended family. And Michiru wanted them to be happy.
She sat down, greeting Mako with a voice like velvet. She squeezed Haruka's knee before starting to stroke Mako's back, making Haruka scared for a second that she would invite Mako in for a threesome.
"I assume you and Ami are having a problem", Michiru said softly. Mako nodded, already having a headache from all the crying. It was nice being taken care of like that.
"Love is about how much you invest in it", Michiru said, casting Haruka a lovingly look that got unnoticed by Mako, "Love is about the work you're willing to do."
The older women still gazed into each other's eyes, remembering all the work it had taken to leave all of the disasters in their past behind.
Mako sighed in pain. "I just don't know if I can."
"Makoto, I'm certain on how Ami feels about you very well – and I can't let you know fully about it, as the girl code, as they say, doesn't allow me. But I know she loves you. She admires your strength. Part of the reason she goes on, she goes out everyday, is that she knows she can return to you. You give her the ability to do amazing things. She doesn't expect you to do grand gestures. She just expects you to be Makoto. We all have the weight of the world on our shoulders, but Ami fears to be the most weakest."
"And why doesn't she talk to me about it?" Mako asked, while Haruka swooned about how brilliant and cute her wife was.
"Because you usually make her strong", Michiru smiled warmly, something she still didn't allow herself in this extend around the Inners very often. "I know you two grew up lonely. All of us were all alone, to be exact, all the time. Completely lost. But you can't ask Ami to become a different person because you're together now. You can't be a different person either. You don't need to play a couple. Just be a couple and let it flow. Don't force things. Don't feel intimidated by her. Don't intimidate her. And don't give up. I thought you'd know better."
"To work on love always pays off", Haruka nodded wisely. Before she could claim that love was everything, Michiru continued: "You can't force her to go out with you. You could, however, give her a reason to stay at home with you. Ask her for a dance in your kitchen. Help her study. And she'll return it. I know she loves to help you baking. So if you two work on it - work it out - then she'll realize the world can wait with being saved."
It was hard having objections with Michiru Kaioh and Mako was aware of it.
"You should go home now and surprise her", Michiru reached out for the enormous bouquet of flowers Haruka had bought her this morning, sitting on the living room table. "You don't even need to apologize. Just give her a flower and tell her how you feel."
Mako stared at the purple hydrangea and nodded slowly.
"Thank you", she stood up, wobbly on her feet without Haruka's support.
"You know, Mina was right. You two are the lesbian school consultants." Mako wiped away the tears and gathered her bag.
"Don't spread the news, we're out of pamphlets", Haruka muttered dryly, exhausted from all the talking about feelings.
"Have a nice evening!" Mako waved them goodbye, feeling thankful.
"We will." Haruka watched Mako leave and then turned to Michiru. "If I ever find out what you have planned!"
Michiru smiled coyly: "For starters, I don't wear any underwear."
Minutes later, Michiru was put down on their bed, with Haruka roaming body. Kisses hit all the sensitive spots once Haruka had freed them from Michiru's dress and the violinist beamed happily, tousling Haruka's hair.
"I'm so glad you decided to invest yourself with me", Haruka's eyes locked with Michiru's, so grateful and so in love, and Michiru drew her even closer for a long kiss, pulling at her shirt. "I'm glad you finally let me."
"I love you more than I love Häagen Dazs", Haruka whispered next to Michiru's mouth, making her giggle.
Michiru rolled Haruka on her back, climbing on top of her, admiring the red bralette Haruka had chosen for this special occasion for a moment. As she let her fingers ghost over Haruka's upper body, she kissed Haruka's neck tenderly and purred: "I love you too."