A/N: I'm still not sure as to whether I think The Joker is sane or not. So I decided I'd do a story for him being insane, since I'd already made one about his sanity. Gotta be fair.

I'm going off the idea of The Killing Joke, because I read about that. Didn't read it per say, but I read some little doodads. Mainly, "Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another... if I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!" Because how can you not get inspiration from that?

Sometimes when The Joker wakes up, he remembers how his mother sliced his cheeks. How he had been whining about dinner, and how this was the sixth time that week that they'd had noodles without sauce, and she snapped. The kitchen knife was suddenly in his mouth, and his mother was a few inches from his face.

"Clem, ever since your father left, we've been short on money. And you have done nothing but complain. Why so serious?" And suddenly, blood was gushing on the noodles (his mother commented on how he had sauce now) and he was smiling again because the smile was carved on his cheek and he couldn't do anything but smile.

He wanted to scream but he knew he shouldn't, because when he opened his mouth to it hurt and his cheeks burned. But not as much as the tears streaming down his cheeks – or what was left – and seeping into his wounds. That was when he learned that tears have some salt in them.

Sometimes when The Joker wakes up, he remembers how he sliced his own cheeks by accident and purpose. How he had been running around the house with a knife – his father had always told him not to, but his father was out gambling that night – and his tripped on some stairs which he should not have been running near and the knife pierced through his left cheek.

He had run upstairs – still with the knife, because he never learned – to look in the mirror, because he could taste the blood and he wanted to see how bad the cut was.

When he looked at the mirror, he didn't see anything but a blur. Then he remembered to wipe the tears out of his eyes, and suddenly he wished that he didn't because there was a three inch cut on his cheek. 

Then his mirror image smiled at him and said, "Why so serious? It's only a small cut." And The Joker – still Jack at that point – looked back at the mirror-Jack and said, "But Dad'll be mad at me." Only it didn't come out like that, because he didn't want to open his mouth too much, but it was okay. Mirror-Jack understood.

"You know," Mirror-Jack started, "the boys at school will tease you for such a little cut. Don't you want a scar to brag about?"

Jack nodded. Really, this was only a tiny little cut – it was only about three inches long – so he took the knife up to his mouth and put some of it in – just enough so that it wouldn't touch his tongue – and pulled it all the way up to the cut. Mirror-Jack watched at Jack screamed, then screamed again because it hurt so much when he opened his mouth.

"Hmm, it looks okay. But now you look goofy. Better cut the other cheek too, for the sake of symmetry."

Jack didn't think that he could handle any more pain at the time, but Mirror-Jack had such a good point, and he didn't want to go to school the next day looking goofy. So he brought his knife up to the other cheek and pulled it up and now he was even.

And then he passed out.

Sometimes when The Joker wakes up, he remembers how a random stranger sliced his cheeks. How he was poor, couldn't even buy food at that point, and he needed money. So there on the street corner he stood in his too-tight leather pants and his mesh shirt, feeling nervous because he'd never done… that for money.

Some guy came by in a shiny red car and rolled down his window. "How much?"

He parroted back what his pimp had told him. "15 for a blow, 30 for a fuck. 300 for the night." The man opened his side-door, and there were suddenly two people in the car.

"I'm, uh, Joe."

The man nodded, clearly not interested. Joe took the hint and stayed quiet all the way to the alleyway, where a ten and a five were placed in his hand. He leaned over, and suddenly the man's hands were at his throat and Joe was pushed against the car door and a knife was at his throat.

"Relax," the man crooned, moving the knife up to Joe's cheeks. "Smile. Why so serious?"

Joe's eyes went wide and he wanted to push the man away but he was too afraid to move. The man pushed Joe's mouth open just a big and slipped the knife in – Joe's jaw had gone lax long before so there were no teeth to interfere – and suddenly, Joe had a half-smile, then the knife came to the other side of his mouth and his smile was complete..

And sometimes when The Joker wakes up, he doesn't remember anything.