One moment is all it takes to change a person's life. At the time they may not even realize that it is happening. So they walk through the day like everything is normal, that the night before never happened. It isn't always easy but that's what we do as humans to survive. Then the night comes again and the memories begin to haunt you. So you find solace in alcohol, an old friend.
I sat at the bar and looked around with a sigh. Nothing was going right tonight. The bartender looked at me and I nodded indicating I wanted another shot. I looked at the amber liquid in the shot glass and wondered how it had come to this. Drinking shot after shot, one night stands. My life was falling apart and I had no idea how to stop it all. I came to Joe's every night. Some nights were spent there with my friends from the hospital. I was an attending there. I had done my internship in Boston and was offered a position back home in Seattle. I couldn't refuse the offer. Richard Webber and my mother were close to put it nicely. There so called friendship put an end to my parents marriage. It hurt and I will admit for a long time I was spiteful and I hated them both. But I hated my father most, he walked out on us. The damn coward didn't bother to fight for us. He left me alone with a mother to busy with work and an affair to really care about me. So I did what I had to and survived. Now here I am back in Seattle working for the man I had once called my enemy. Over the years I had gotten to know him, after I started med school.
There relationship was over at that point. But for some reason he had taken a special interest in me. He helped me get my internship after I refused to take one in Seattle. I just wasn't ready to be home yet. So I went to Boston and he made sure to check up on me. The years flew by quickly and I had proven myself to be a formidable surgeon quite early in my internship. It wasn't my fault really; I tried not to stand out. But people knew my mother and because of that they thought I would be good. And I was never one to disappoint. Sure I would disappoint myself, but never others. I had to prove myself when it came to my job. I worked my hardest, and pushed through a lot of emergencies that I shouldn't have been involved with. But I was there and instinct has a way of taking over. Things seemed to be okay when I got back here. I am now a formidable Neurosurgeon and I love the work environment and the friends I have made. But then I got the news that brought my world crashing down, my mother the renowned Ellis Grey had Alzheimer's. That's where the tequila came in. I began a new routine of work, tequila and sleeping with my friend Alex. He usually met me here at Joe's but I told him I needed the night off. I hadn't been feeling to good lately, and figured it was the stress and the long hours at work. So here I was drowning my sorrows in tequila the same as every other night with one exception, tonight I would not be sleeping with Alex Karev.
"Tequila, you are going to regret that in the morning." A soft voice came from the side. I didn't bother to turn my head. I was used to people approaching me at the bar, trying to get my attention.
"I am going to regret a lot of things in the morning." I spat out before downing the shot. I didn't bother with salt or a lime. Tonight I wanted to take the burn raw, there was no point in trying to lighten the pain, and I needed it to escape.
"Are you trying to ignore me?" The man asked. I had to give him credit for being persistent. I turned my head and couldn't help the fact that my eyes widened slightly, he was handsome I had to admit it. Amazing blue eyes, dark hair that seemed to have its own little flip to it. There was just something about him that drew me in, and I knew I had to resist the urge. My life was full right now; I didn't need to complicate it by picking up a stranger in the bar.
"Well actually I am." I said with a laugh, running a hand through my long blonde hair. I turned away from him and bit down lightly on my lower lip. I didn't want to continue speaking to him. It was a bad idea and I knew it.
"You shouldn't." He said staring at me. I turned and looked at him my eyes locking with his. My heart rate sped up a little and I couldn't look away, I swear to god I tried not to keep my eyes locked on his but it didn't work.
"Why not?" I asked with a small smile glancing down for a moment trying to calm myself.
"Because I'm someone you need to get to know to love." He said with a cheesy smile, confidence in his voice. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the statement he had said with such honesty. It was a different sort of line; I had to give the guy credit for originality. Maybe I was just kidding myself; I wanted an excuse to talk to him.
"Really? Well I guess we will have to see about that." I said with a soft laugh and his smile grew. "Why don't we start with a drink?" I asked eyebrow raised slightly.
"That works for me. Derek Shepard." He said extending his hand to me.
"Meredith Grey." I took his hand and shook it with a smile. I knew that I would not be bringing him home for a drunken night of sex. I knew who he was. Then again what Neurosurgeon didn't? Derek Shepard was famous and everyone knew who he was. I had always wanted to meet the man, but I never expected it to be with him hitting on me in a bar. Joe walked over and Derek smiled at him.
"Another scotch and tequila for the beautiful Ms. Grey." Derek said to Joe with a grin. "So tell me Meredith what is it you do for a living?" He asked with genuine curiosity in his voice. I paused not sure I wanted to tell him. Not sure I wanted this time to end; when he realized who I was things would change. I heard the rumors of the chief bringing in some hot shot for the position of head of the Neurosurgery board. I wasn't surprised that it would be Dr. Shepard, not at all. But there was no point in lying, he would find out soon enough. So I took a deep breath and decided to be honest.
"I am a Neurosurgeon, an attending at Seattle Grace." I whispered studying him for a reaction. A flicker of recognition was in his eyes for a moment and I cocked my eyebrow.
"So you're the one Richard won't shut up about." Derek said with a laugh. I wasn't surprised to hear this. It seemed Richard bragged about me quite often. Though sometimes I am sure what he had to say was not nice. It figured but I had to deal with that. I owed a lot to him. Joe came over with the drinks and set them down with a smile. He didn't speak to us which was unusual. But maybe he sensed the connection between the two of us. I know that I felt it, but I wondered if Derek did also.
"I am not sure that is a good thing." I said with a laugh and slight shrug of my shoulders. "He has been watching out for me for years now. His way of making up for the past I suppose." I laughed again and tried not to think of what he had to make up for. That would lead to more tequila which would lead to another one night stand to add to my list. I didn't want to deal with that anymore; the shame was too much to deal with. "And you are going to be the new head of Neuro?"
"Well I didn't think anyone knew about that yet, but yes." He said with a smirk. "I am the best neurosurgeon from the East Coast. Hopefully this will ensure I am the best in the country."
I studied him silently. He was confident but not cocky. Though just by looking at him I could tell the man was arrogant and got what he wanted. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Derek sat there staring at me and I smiled again, I couldn't help myself. His smile is contagious, but I don't mind. I felt comfortable and relaxed for the first time in a long time sitting here with the man who would soon be my boss. I was going to say something when I felt a hand caress my lower back. I knew that touch without even turning and I had to force a smile on my face.
"Alex what are you doing here?" I asked trying to force myself to sound cheerful. He was the last person I wanted to see. I told him that tonight I wanted to be alone. I doubt he came here looking for me, but none the less here we were.
"Well you said you needed a night alone so I came out drinking." He paused and eyed Derek. "And then I walk in to find you drinking and laughing with some other guy." Jealousy dripped from his words and it disgusted me.
"Well Derek is an old friend from Boston." I said with a smile as I leaned over and grabbed Derek's hand, relieved when he didn't pull away. "I had no idea he was in town."
"Well Merbear, I wanted it to be a surprise." Derek said going along with the act. His voice was low and smooth as he spoke. His gaze settled on Alex and Derek scooted loser to me almost marking his territory. Normally I would back away from a guy like that, but at this instant I was grateful to the man.
"But yes Alex, we were getting ready to head back to my place to um," I paused and let a sultry smile raise on my lips, "talk." I finished while looking between the two men. Alex looked anything but happy and I stood up grabbing Derek's hand again leading him out of the bar into the cool night air.
We stepped outside and I let out a long laugh and looked up into his eyes. They were lit up with laughter or his own and I couldn't help but reach up and place my hand against the side of his face. He stepped closer and I stepped away until I was pressed against the wall. In that instant I knew what was going to happen. I placed my hand on his chest and pushed lightly, trying to see if I could get him to back up. But he was standing there looking down at me through half closed eyes and I couldn't resist. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, I barely had time to breathe before his lips came crashing down on mine. The kiss was anything but gentle and romantic, it was full of raw passion and it was fierce. Our mouths were pressed together and I let out a barely audible moan when I felt his teeth nip first at my lower lip, then at my tongue when I tried to seek his out. He pulled away and looked down at me. I knew my cheeks were flushed and I couldn't look him in the eyes. My knees were week and I didn't know what to say or do next.
"We can't." I whispered looking up at him as I stepped away from the wall, away from him. Trying to ignore the emptiness I felt inside when I no longer felt his heat was difficult. "But we could go back to my house for drinks." He said nothing in response just nodded at me. I grabbed his hand again and led him towards my car unlocking it I got in and opened the passenger door for him. I wasn't sure how well this was all going to go and I knew my friends were going to give me hell for this later. You did not bring your new boss home for drinks, and you definitely did not kiss them in front of a bar. We drove off in silence neither of us noticing the very angry Alex Karev standing at the door to the bar.